Missing Lily

by Annette K. Larsen

  “Good day, Princess.”

  I forced a smile, giving a polite curtsey. “Good day, Lord Fallon.” I continued past him.

  “Shall I walk out with you?”

  I stopped. Then I turned. “Shouldn’t you wait for Lorraina?” I asked as casually as I could.

  “Yes, of course,” he quickly corrected himself. “We’ll meet you at the stables.”

  I turned and walked out, using the time to brace myself for the inevitable awkwardness that would saturate the entire outing.

  Nathaniel was waiting for me outside the stables. “The king and queen are not coming?”

  I looked at him, already feeling the weight of too many emotions, and shook my head. “It will just be the three of us.”

  He examined my face. “You seem unhappy, Highness.”

  His insight actually made me smile. I had feared that the incident at Ella’s house would cause irreparable damage to our comfortable relationship, but since Rhys’s arrival, Nathaniel had been more diligent than ever. “I suppose that’s a fair assessment.”

  “Can I do anything for you, Princess Lylin?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing to be done. I’ll be glad when this is over.”

  “You usually enjoy outings.”

  I managed a slight smile. “Not today. If you would stay close by, I would appreciate it.”

  “Of course, Princess.”

  I entered the stables and made my way to Willow’s stall before remembering that, of course, she was not there.

  “I’ve got Sunshine saddled for you, Princess.”

  I turned at Weston’s words. He held Sunshine’s reins, looking apologetic. He knew how I felt about my missing horse, but could do nothing about it, so I forced a smile. “Thank you, Weston.”

  I stroked Sunshine, determined to focus all my attention on her so that I would be occupied when Lorraina and Rhys showed up.

  I heard their voices as they came in, but kept my attention on my horse.

  Lorraina was speaking. “Are you an accomplished rider, Lord Fallon?”

  “I can get by,” was his response.

  I rolled my eyes at his modesty.

  “I admit, I have never seemed to have the knack for it. I never found a love for riding as some of my sisters did.”

  This was very true. It wasn’t that Lorraina lacked skill. She was competent enough; she just didn’t love it.

  I turned to see Rhys looking worried. “Would you prefer we do something else?”

  Lorraina looked surprised by the offer. “No, of course not. I do enjoy riding occasionally. I just don’t find it exhilarating.”

  “Well then, shall we?”

  We all mounted and headed out. I was happy to have Nathaniel close at hand. Lorraina’s guard, Stephen, hung back, no doubt giving them their privacy.

  I let them lead out and would have been happy to stay behind the entire time, but then I heard Lorraina laugh. I wondered what was so terribly funny and was even more curious when she turned around.

  “Lylin, you must come here.”

  I heeled my horse and trotted Sunshine over to Lorraina. She was still smiling from all her laughter.

  “What’s so amusing?” I asked.

  “Lord Fallon was just telling me how you became very good friends with his housekeeper.” She let out a burst of giggles, but I didn’t get the joke. I looked to Rhys, who seemed as baffled as I.

  “Why is that funny?”

  “Oh, don’t tell me it’s true. Really? You mentioned spending time with her, but I thought you referred to her taking care of you. I can’t imagine you actually striking up a friendship. It’s not as though you are Ella.” She smiled to herself, ready to brush off the idea as ridiculous.

  “I suppose it might seem an unusual thing, but Rosamond was a very good friend to me. I hope to be able to thank her for that one day.”

  Lorraina’s eyes were wide and she struggled to form words, but I didn’t wait to see how she might respond. I trotted off, determined to let the happy couple get to know one another.

  ***

  Rhys,

  We went riding today. You, Lorraina and me. That’s not how I imagined it, and I’ve imagined it many times. We never had the opportunity to truly ride together at the manor because of my injuries, but I always took pleasure in imagining racing across the countryside, sharing an experience that we could both appreciate. I always thought you would have challenged me, made me better.

  I miss you—and you’re right here.

  Lylin

  Chapter 13

  FIVE DAYS AFTER Lord Fallon’s arrival, my father and I were sitting alone at the breakfast table when he said in a not quite casual tone, “I’ve asked Lord Wisen to come for a visit.”

  I waited for further explanation, but he remained focused on his food.

  “Can I count on you to make him feel welcome?”

  My fork clattered to the table. “Me?” A tiny knot of dread crept into my throat.

  He nodded at his plate.

  “How long will he be staying?”

  My father lifted a shoulder. “A week, maybe two, depending.”

  “But, why?”

  He finally glanced up, making eye contact only briefly. “I have a great deal of respect for Lord Wisen.”

  I waited for him to continue, but his silence made me nervous. “As do I, but you have a great deal of respect for many people. What makes him different?”

  He set his utensils down and looked at me. “Your sister and Lord Fallon will be going on outings quite regularly. It would be nice for you to go along, and I thought you might like some company.”

  “You invited him for me?” I tried not to let my voice rise.

  He continued carefully. “With the responsibilities you will be inheriting, the task of selecting a worthy—”

  My indignation flared. “I did not ask for help in selecting anyone! Do you have any idea how humiliating—”

  I stopped abruptly when the door opened and Lord Fallon entered. I pulled my eyes away from Rhys’s questioning gaze and stared mutinously at my plate.

  Rhys hesitated at the door before coming in and greeting my father. He probably greeted me as well, but I heard nothing. I was roused from my silent brooding when Father stood to leave.

  “When will your guest be arriving?” I asked without looking up.

  “This afternoon,” he answered warily.

  He stood there, no doubt waiting for my reply, but I remained silent and he left.

  My jaw tightened, my hand clenching and unclenching around my fork as I tried to temper my anger.

  “Princess?”

  I looked up, surprised to see Rhys sitting across the table from me. His concerned eyes searched my face for a moment before asking, “What guest will be arriving?”

  “My father thought it prudent to invite someone here to act as my escort while you and Lorraina are spending time together. I am more than a little humiliated by the arrangement.”

  He blinked in surprise. “The gentleman coming to visit is intended for you?”

  “Yes. That way we can all have lovely, cozy outings together. It will be very sweet, I’m sure.” He raised his eyebrows in amusement and had the audacity to smile. “Don’t you dare laugh,” I threatened, entirely serious.

  He smothered his grin. “I’m sorry. It’s just the venom in your voice as you described the circumstances as ‘sweet.’ I certainly didn’t mean to make light of the situation. I can understand how you would be uncomfortable.” I stared at him, wondering if he really understood my discomfort. “May I ask his name?”

  “Lord Wisen.”

  He shook his head. “I do not know the gentleman.”

  “I am not surprised.”

  He quirked one eyebrow. “You consider him insignificant?”

  I pulled my chin back. “No, of course not. Why would you ask that?”

  “Why do you assume I would not know him?”

  I sat quiet for a moment—not sure
if we were having an argument or not—then tried to answer calmly. “You are a self-proclaimed recluse. You did not even know me, and I am quite well known.”

  He studied his plate and did not respond. My eyes fell to my plate full of food, and I realized my appetite was gone. I excused myself and left the dining hall, wondering why Lorraina had made a habit of being late to breakfast since Rhys’s arrival.

  As the morning passed, my anger receded and I decided to make the best of the situation. I had known Lord Wisen for several years and had always found him agreeable. Perhaps he could be my ally; after all, it would not be so terrible to have someone to focus on besides Rhys and my sister. A distraction would likely be welcome.

  I was waiting in the main salon along with my mother and father when he arrived. He bowed in deference to my parents and then came to stand directly before me.

  I curtsied. “Lord Wisen, a pleasure, as always.”

  “Princess,” he greeted and kissed my hand. “You’re lovely as ever.”

  He had a genuine smile that I appreciated at that moment. He seemed at ease and it served to calm my remaining nerves.

  We went on our first outing to the seaside the next day. As I walked through the entryway, my chest tightened with each step until I reached the front doors.

  Stepping outside, I halted in the shadow of the castle, just watching. Rhys and Lorraina stood together, talking as they waited for the carriage to be ready. My teeth clenched, wishing they could just go by themselves. As much as I hated the idea of them being alone together, it would have been easier than watching up close for an entire day. Lord Wisen’s presence would be welcome indeed.

  The carriage rolled around, stopping in front of the couple, and Rhys helped Lorraina inside with his usual ease. I breathed a harsh sigh and wondered if I dared approach the carriage alone when only Rhys waited there. Fortunately, Lord Wisen stepped out just then and offered his arm. Together we descended the stairs.

  “Princess.” He bowed as he handed me in, and I managed a smile.

  I sat across from Lorraina and tried to arrange a pleasant expression on my face. The carriage rocked as first Lord Wisen and then Rhys climbed in. Nathaniel shut the door then went to climb onto his own horse, which waited behind the carriage along with Lorraina’s guard, Stephen.

  We lurched forward and I couldn’t help closing my eyes in what could only be described as dread.

  “Not a bad day for a drive.” My eyes flew open, exceptionally aware that those were the same words Rhys had uttered on our way to picnic on the hillside when I’d been Lily. I looked at him, but his gaze was focused on the window, and I tried to put it from my mind.

  “Who chose the seaside for our excursion?”

  I turned at Wisen’s inquiry and noticed his bright eyes and his hands fidgeting in excitement. I pressed my lips together, since it would be unpardonably rude to laugh at him. In truth, he looked quite adorable, his handsome features turned boyish.

  “It was actually my mother’s idea,” I answered when I realized that Lorraina wasn’t paying attention.

  “I quite enjoy the ocean.” He leaned toward the window, as if trying to see our destination before we arrived. A moment later, he seemed to realize his overexcitement was showing. He leaned back in his seat and turned his attention on me, then seeing that I had been watching him, gave a sheepish shrug.

  When we arrived, Lord Wisen alighted first and handed me out. I thanked him and he followed me away from the carriage as I breathed in the clean sea air.

  He stood silently by for several moments before speaking. “It’s a lovely view.”

  “One of the loveliest.”

  He smiled at me, then offered his arm once more. “Shall we?”

  I accepted and we joined Rhys and Lorraina, waiting for Mr. Dale and two footmen to set out blankets and cushions.

  When the four of us chose seats, I made sure to situate myself as far as possible from Rhys and tried to enjoy myself.

  Admittedly, I wasn’t trying very hard. I mostly ignored the ongoing conversation and instead focused my attention on the waves chasing each other onto the rocks while I ate more delicacies than I should have.

  The ill feeling in my stomach was no surprise, but it did give me an excuse.

  “I think I overdid it on the pastries,” I said as I got to my feet. “I’m going to walk down the shore a ways. I’ll be back soon.” Lord Wisen hopped up to join me.

  “Would you like us to come?” I heard Rhys call after us.

  I didn’t bother turning back, just called out, “That won’t be necessary,” and continued down the beach with Lord Wisen as Nathaniel fell into step several paces behind.

  Lord Wisen walked beside me, not chattering, but allowing me to admire the ocean’s ebb and flow without dwelling quite so much on Rhys’s attentions to my sister.

  Lord Wisen’s voice interrupted my reverie. “You are particularly pensive.”

  My feet came to a halt and I turned to look at him, embarrassed at my inattentive behavior. “I apologize. I’m not usually so distracted.” My eyes were pulled back to the ocean. “I do love the waves, though.”

  “You find comfort here?”

  “I suppose.” I wouldn’t admit just how cathartic I found it.

  “I’ve often wondered about the strain put on someone of your position.”

  I smiled and shrugged. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever known.”

  “Do you ever wish you knew something else?”

  I debated for several moments. Lord Wisen was a gentleman and perfectly charming. I should at least try to get to know him better. Allowing him to know me better shouldn’t be difficult, but it felt forced. “Yes,” I answered honestly, but didn’t expound.

  “I wonder if anyone is truly content in the life they lead? Perhaps it’s human nature to reach for those experiences outside our sphere.”

  His philosophizing intrigued me. “And for what experiences do you reach?”

  He frowned in thought. “I don’t know that I strive for anything specific, just something different.”

  I studied his face as he gazed out at the ocean. His statement was quite profound, and I was impressed that he would share it with me. “What is your first name?”

  He raised an eyebrow at me. “You don’t know?”

  “Forgive me,” I said, chagrined, “but no, I just realized I don’t.”

  He gave a brief bow. “Lord Gerrick Wisen, your humble servant.”

  I smiled. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I hardly need more servants.”

  “Ah, but can any of them save you from being the odd person out, as I can?”

  I stared at him, surprised and amused that he would tease me about such a thing. “Any servant worth his wages would not point out my humiliation, Lord Wisen.”

  He clasped his hands behind his back and tilted his head as he fixed his gaze on me. “Why ask for my given name if you’re not going to use it?”

  My eyes drifted back to the sea. “It complicates things when I use a person’s given name. If I were to call you Gerrick, what would you call me?”

  I glanced at him as he thought it over and a look of consternation crossed his features.

  “You see? No one but my family calls me Lylin. It would feel unbalanced for me to use your name and not have you respond in like manner.”

  He dropped his eyes to the ground, before answering, “I wouldn’t mind,” and then looking back at me with a question on his face.

  I smiled at his attempting a friendship with me. “I’ll remember that.”

  A grin split his face and he took a deep breath. “Should we head back? Your sister might wonder where we’ve gone.”

  I agreed and we turned, slowly making our way back.

  “Does your family know Lord Fallon well?” he asked.

  “His father, the late Lord Fallon, was a great friend of my father. After he passed away, my father kept in contact with Lord Fallon. However, I have only met him recently.”
No need to go into those details.

  “I’ll admit I was surprised to meet him here. I know who he is, of course. But he is generally known for keeping to himself.”

  I nodded, but didn't comment. It still surprised me that the Rhys I had come to know—the one who welcomed me so willingly into his home—had a reputation for being withdrawn. There was no one I could think of that deserved to be seen, heard, and appreciated more than Rhys.

  As we drew closer, I watched him, sitting there with my sister, and braced myself against the jealousy.

  Rhys looked up at our approach and raised an eyebrow in amusement. “I was starting to worry you might have gotten your foot stuck.”

  A fleeting but genuine smile crossed my lips at his reference and I felt the knot in my chest loosen, if only slightly.

  Lorraina’s brow furrowed as she regarded Rhys in confusion. “That’s a very odd thing to worry about.”

  “Yes, indeed,” Gerrick agreed.

  “Not if you know she’s done it before.”

  Gerrick raised an eyebrow and Lorraina continue to look baffled, so Rhys explained further. “While your sister was parading about my estate pretending to be a noblewoman, she had an unfortunate run-in with a patch of mud.”

  “I was not parading.”

  “Limping, then.”

  I opened my mouth to offer a defense then closed it. I would not allow myself to fall back into our easy relationship, especially when I was trying to act dignified in front of my guest. Things were different now. So instead, I sank gracefully onto the blanket and simply said, “No muddy difficulties today.”

  Gerrick looked back and forth between Rhys and myself before asking, “You’ve visited Fallon estate?”

  My breath caught in my chest. I really didn’t know how to answer that. Unfortunately Rhys felt the need to jump in.

  “Not voluntarily,” he answered to my chagrin.

  “Excuse me?” Gerrick appeared affronted and I realized an explanation was necessary. And quickly.

  “I met Lord Fallon quite by accident some time ago. I had become lost and ended up at Fallon Manner. Our meeting was accidental.”

  Fortunately, Gerrick seemed appeased by this explanation. “And what is this about a patch of mud?”

  “I accidentally walked onto some ground that was not as dry as it appeared, and I lost my shoe in the mud,” I explained quickly. “Now, can we please discuss something other than my clumsiness?”