The Real

by James Cole

  Jeremy squinted as one petite young lady approached from the sunny end of the sidewalk. Obscured as she was by the backdrop of bright sunshine, he could not easily discern her features, but there was something about the deliberate way she walked that caught his eye. Trying not to stare as she drew closer, he looked away, toward the Courthouse in the center of the Square. After a handful of seconds, Jeremy sensed her in his peripheral vision. She was nearby and she had stopped, presumably to window shop. Why else would she be standing so close?

  As she dawdled, Jeremy sneaked a peak. Seeing her face above him here in the bright of day seemed so unexpected and out of context that he thought he imagined her. Reflexively, he stood up.

  “Monika?” It was all he could think to say.

  She was real and she was smiling.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked dumbly.

  “Good to see you too,” she said sarcastically. “Don’t I get a hug?”

  Jeremy leaned awkwardly in and stiffly accepted her embrace. His insides quivered in extreme anxiety. Worlds would collide if Jinni were to catch him talking to Monika.

  “How have you been?” she asked.

  Jeremy fought the urge to turn tail and run, reminding himself that Jinni was shoe-shopping. In all likelihood, she would be inside for a good while longer.

  As casually as he could fake, he answered, “Fine, I guess.”

  “You look good,” she said.

  “You do too,” he admitted.

  “Have you been missing me?” she asked and flashed a mischievous grin.

  Honestly, Jeremy had missed Monika but this didn’t feel like the proper time or place to speak of it, but neither could he bring himself to lie and say that he had not.

  “Because I’ve missed you,” she added boldly. “I want to see you again.”

  Jeremy did not allow himself to even consider the unexpected proposition. “I can’t do that, Monika. It wouldn’t be right to betray Jinni’s trust – not again.”

  He also could not contemplate the longing in her eyes. He lowered his gaze to his shoe tops and absent-mindedly pawed one sneaker at a dirty spot on the concrete.

  “I don’t understand,” said Monika, clearly taken aback.

  “I have obligations.” Jeremy’s words sounded stupid to him but they were, more or less, accurate. In the wake of June’s death, he felt more obligated to do right by Jinni. Losing June made him appreciate Jinni all the more.

  Monika, however, did not give in so easily. “Don’t you remember our night together?” she asked. “Don’t you remember the majesty?”

  Jeremy stared at the scuff mark on the sidewalk.

  “Yes, I remember,” he replied as he raised his eyes to meet hers. “I remember everything.”

  “Tell me then, how can you not want to be with me now? Tell me truthfully that you don’t want me and I’ll leave. That’s all I’m asking.”

  Jeremy knew the right course of action. Still, he could not bring himself to dismiss the one who stood before him. What did he do to deserve this dilemma? Was there any way to resist the allure of this woman?

  “I can’t deal with this now,” he said. “Jinni is right inside.”

  Just then the door to the store opened, spooking Jeremy. “I’ve got to go.”

  He lurched away, almost colliding with the woman leaving Holgram’s. Thankfully, she wasn’t Jinni but he kept moving anyway. Without looking back, Jeremy slid into the ice cream shop two doors down. At the counter he ordered a double scoop of chocolate ice cream on a waffle cone. When the little bell on the shop door tinkled softly behind him, he turned to look and wasn’t entirely surprised to see that it was Monika. She joined him at the counter.

  “I’ll have what he’s having,” Monika said without directly acknowledging Jeremy. She sat down at one of the tables by the plate glass window that looked out onto the sidewalk.

  Jeremy paid for their ice cream. As he handed over Monika’s cone, he noticed the silver ring on the slender forefinger of her outstretched hand. The scene triggered a memory of their first encounter that night at the Singe show, only then it had been a White Russian that passed from his hand to hers. With parted lips and a steady gaze, she took a slow, deliberate bite from the crown of her ice cream. Fittingly, the visual also took him back to the first night they met, back to that first ambush of a kiss.

  Jeremy felt as if it were not the ice cream but he who was melting.

  Frantically, Jeremy debated what to do next. He certainly wasn’t comfortable hanging out with Monika with Jinni two doors down, but neither did he relish the image of him running from Monika like a coward. In the end, and in spite of the peril, Jeremy joined Monika at her table. At least they were no longer parked at the front door of Holgram’s Department Store.

  “What if you just give her some?” asked Monika.

  Though Monika did not explicitly say, Jeremy knew exactly to whom and to what she referred. Even so, it was a radical suggestion.

  “Who, Jinni?” he asked.

  “Why not?”

  “I can think of several why-nots,” he asserted. “The question is why her? Why Jinni?”

  “As it turns out,” replied Monika, “I have some very special friends I would like you to get to know. I’m gathering that you and your little girlfriend are a package deal. Give Jinnigirl a little taste of the Unreal and she’ll understand. It could be you and her, and me, and the others, all together as one big happy family. She can become one of us.”

  What does that mean, “one of us”? wondered Jeremy. Am I already one of them?

  He laughed uncomfortably. “I don’t think that would work. I’m pretty sure Jinni wouldn’t try it and, even if she did, I don’t think I could talk her into joining your little group.”

  As soon as the words came out, Jeremy wondered if he had given something away. He could not let on that he had, in a sense, already met Monika’s special friends on the secret beach.

  “You might be surprised what Jinni would agree to if she were to develop a taste for the Unreal.”

  “Even if Jinni could handle being around the two of us,” said Jeremy, “I don’t think I could handle being around the two of you.”

  “Why, Jeremy?” Monika’s gaze flittered over his face, probing his expression for the answer. “You still want me, don’t you?”

  Jeremy hesitated, and his hesitation gave him away.

  Monika laughed exultantly. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I know what your deal is. You want to have your cake and eat it too. Jinni’s the good girl and I’m the bad. You want us both.”

  “It doesn’t matter what I want,” replied Jeremy, not bothering to differ.

  “I don’t know why not,” countered Monika. “If what you want doesn’t matter, then tell me, what in the world does matter?”

  Not knowing what to say, Jeremy said nothing at first. Then, of all things, the gist of something Grady once said to him came to mind. “Maybe doing the right thing trumps doing what we want.”

  Meanwhile, Monika dug something out of the front pocket of her jeans. “Here,” she said. “Take this.”

  It was a folded square of aluminum foil, about the same dimensions as a postage stamp, but lumpier.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  Suddenly, Jinni stepped into view. She was immediately outside on the sidewalk, walking, and at the same time, trying to peer through the glare to the inside of the plate glass window.

  Monika pressed the foil into his palm. “Just take it,” she insisted.

  “I’ve got to go,” Jeremy rocketed from his chair, banging his knee painfully on the underside of the table.

  Monika squeezed in one more sentence just as he got to the door. “You know where to find me.”

  Jinni had her hand on the handle as Jeremy aggressively swung open the door and limped outside.

  “Hey, watch out!” exclaimed Jinni.

  “Oh, hello,” Jeremy said as if surprised to see her. “Are you done
shopping already?” He put his arm around Jinni, not as a loving gesture but to influence her away from the ice cream shop.

  “I thought I might find you in there.” Jinni eyed his ice cream cone. “That looks yummy.”

  “You can have it,” Jeremy said as he practically jabbed the cone at her face. “Enjoy,” he added as he led her down the sidewalk and away from his dark angel.

  Just when he thought he had gotten away clean, Jinni asked, “Were you talking to that girl in the ice cream shop?”

  “Not really,” replied Jeremy. “Just small talk, that’s all.”

  Certain that Jinni saw something or at least sensed his deceit, Jeremy waited for the additional questions and accusations that most certainly would be forthcoming. To his surprise and great relief, Jinni made no further mention of the girl in the ice cream shop.

  It was only after they turned the corner to the sight of his condo that Jeremy calmed down enough to reflect on Monika’s insight. Monika was right – he did want both of them, Jinni and her, a greedy desire that would never be compatible with reality. But she raised another interesting point. What if he did turn Jinni on to the Unreal? If he did, and she accepted, it might bring out the bad girl in Jinni. Then he would have his good and bad girl, all wrapped up in one. As Jeremy fingered the little folded square of aluminum foil in his pocket, Monika’s words reverberated in his mind:

  You might be surprised what Jinni would agree to if she were to develop a taste for the Unreal.

  *****

  That night in bed, Jeremy revisited his chance meeting with Monika. He took great delight in how she came right out and said she wanted to see him again. In a million years he would not have expected her to admit to that, even if it were true.

  You know where to find me, she had said. Jeremy knew she meant Bar Nowhere. He also knew when to find her there. I’m there most Saturday nights, she had remarked before the Singe show on the night they first met. Seeing how Saturday night was happening right now, Jeremy wondered if hooking up with her would be as easy as it was the last time. The recollection of that wild night out with Monika triggered an almost overwhelming urge to seek her out again.

  If I get up right now, I could be there in twenty minutes.

  Jeremy’s only defense was to fill his mind with thoughts of Jinni. Like everyone, Jinni had her faults but the good in her far outweighed the bad. She was kind, compassionate, quick to listen and slow to anger. Perhaps most importantly, she opened herself up to him. When he peered inside Jinni’s glass-house heart, Jeremy could see that she loved him completely and without pretense. At times he wondered why she had chosen him to be the one she loved but he could never muster the courage to ask. He was afraid she might not know why either and he didn’t want to get her thinking.

  Jeremy felt proud how he had stuck up for Jinni this morning but he knew Monika recognized his lingering desire to be with her again. Certainly, the prospect of another romantic interlude with his dark angel tweaked his fancy, but it was not the only facet of his attraction to Monika. He was equally enthralled by her secrets. He wanted to know what she spoke of on the beach that night, and he wanted to uncover the nature of her connection to the hippie queen. Adding to the overall intrigue was the parting gift she so deftly pressed into his palm at the ice cream shop. What he would ultimately do with the contents of that shiny little package, now tenuously stored in the back of his sock drawer, was anybody’s guess.

  Even as he drifted into slumber, Jeremy continued to wrestle against the inexorable pull of Monika. For once in his life, he must choose wisely. He wanted to do the right thing, but could he realistically break free from his attraction to her? Could the ocean tides ever cease to be pulled by the moon’s gravity?

  I, the ocean; Monika, the moon.

  Yet, the tides ebb and flow day after day, perpetually drawn by the moon but satisfied to be separated from it. And does not the earth hold the oceans close to her bosom? Does not the gravity of the earth render the influence of the moon negligible?

  Jinni, the earth.

  It would be disastrous for that chasm of separation to vanish; calamitous to allow the oceans to touch the moon and so, too, it must be for Jeremy and this other woman.

  Though I may be drawn to Monika, I must never again touch her.

  With that last conscious thought, Jeremy fell into sleep.

  Chapter 28

  Sunday, November 30

  Studying was the last thing in the world Jeremy wanted to do.

  Tavalin had called at ten o’clock on Sunday, waking him. Though he agreed to the study session, Jeremy had no desire to subject his mind to the throes of organic chemistry this morning. He might have turned down his friend had Tavalin not suggested they first meet at the drive-in for an early lunch.

  When Jeremy arrived, Tavalin was waiting for him. Jeremy parked his car, got out and slid into the passenger seat of the little yellow Honda.

  “What are you having?” asked Tavalin

  As Tavalin barked his order into the speaker box, Jeremy’s mind was occupied not with the food and not with organic chemistry. He was thinking of the hippie queen. And though, admittedly, at least some of his interest in Claire sprang from Monika’s connection to her, and though he had resolved not to seek out Monika, he could see nothing wrong with seeking out Claire.

  “Do you have any money I can borrow?” asked Tavalin. “I don’t have enough.”

  “And if I don’t, what are you going to do?” asked Jeremy contemptuously.

  “I guess I just assumed you could spot me a couple of bucks.”

  “Here.” Jeremy tossed some crumpled bills onto Tavalin’s lap.

  The next obvious step for Jeremy’s quest for Claire was to find her grave, but who would possibly have that information? The students at the University had a tradition of passing along the hippie queen ghost story to incoming students. Could it be possible that there existed a contingency of students who were familiar with the ghost story and who also knew the location of her grave?

  “Somebody knows,” muttered Jeremy under his breath.

  Tavalin, who had been occupied with the carhop, passed a grease-splotched bag over to Jeremy and asked, “What are you mumbling about over there?”

  Jeremy recalled having mentioned the hippie queen a time or two in Tavalin’s presence but his friend never seemed much interested.

  “You remember that hippie queen ghost story, right?” Jeremy asked.

  “Yeah, I guess,” replied Tavalin. “What about it?”

  “Do you think there’s anything to it?”

  “Why do you care?”

  “I think the story is fascinating,” replied Jeremy. “I’m especially curious to know if she really is buried somewhere in or near Destiny. If so, I’d like to take a look at that sculpture that supposedly appeared on her grave from nowhere.”

  “Is that right?” Tavalin seemed more interested in his hamburger than anything Jeremy had to say.

  Jeremy stopped short of mentioning Grady, even though it was he who had informed Jeremy of the Reefers Woods connection and juiced Jeremy’s interest in the ghost story. Jeremy also didn’t dare bring up Monika’s role in all of this. After her reference to Claire’s Way and the rest of her intriguing spiel at the secret beach, how could he not want to investigate the hippie queen?

  After eating and drinking for a few minutes in silence, Tavalin spoke up. “If you really want to see her grave,” he said nonchalantly, “I know where it is.”

  Jeremy was flabbergasted. “Why didn’t you say so before?”

  “I’m saying so now,” replied Tavalin with a smirk. Without elaborating, he took another large bite from his burger.

  “Well,” prodded Jeremy. “Are you going to tell me where it is or not?”

  “Would you like me to show you?”

  “Take a wild guess,” replied Jeremy sarcastically.

  *****

  Tavalin wouldn’t say where he was taking Jeremy.

  When
they turned out Sticks River Road, Jeremy asked, “Is Claire really buried out here?”

  About two or three miles past the Keep Out sign at the break in the road, Tavalin pulled onto the shoulder. A narrow lane, barely discernable, jutted off into a grown-over field.

  “Think you can find your way back here later?” asked Tavalin.

  “Aren’t we going in now?” asked Jeremy.

  “This is as far as I go.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Jeremy.

  “This is as far as I go,” repeated Tavalin as he worked to turn the car around in the limited space.

  Jeremy looked over at his friend, trying to get a read on his evasiveness, but Tavalin only stared straight ahead, pretending not to see him in his peripheral vision. It was obvious that he was holding something back.

  “Out with it, Tavalin. Why won’t you go out there with me?”

  “It’s creepy out there, okay? I’m not especially fond of going to deserted cemeteries in the middle of the woods, that’s all.”

  Jeremy’s first impulse was to poke fun at his friend’s nervousness but thought better of it. Only after he actually laid eyes on the grave would he give Tavalin the hell he deserved for being afraid.

  Jeremy studied the nearby landscape. Most notable was an oddly formed pine tree with three trunks. “I can find it,” Jeremy replied confidently as he committed the three-in-one tree to memory. “Do I just follow the road in? How far do I go?”

  “It’s a long way, at least two or three miles, I would say. And it’s not much of a road. I doubt you want to drive your car all the way in. You go until you see an old gate on the left. There might even be a sign that says Eternal Springs. Just follow the path on the other side of the gate. The cemetery is at the end of the path, just behind some old church ruins.”

  “Eternal Springs?” Jeremy asked. “What’s that?”

  “There used to be a settlement there a while back, 100 years ago or something like that. It’s gone now.”

  Back at the drive-in, Jeremy said, “I think I’d rather go to the cemetery instead of studying. You understand, don’t you?”