Queen of the City 2: The Life of a Female Rapper

by Tamicka Higgins

  It was a short day for me. I only stopped at a few houses before I made my way to Big Mama’s house, hoping to catch Uncle Stew over there. When I opened the door, the house was silent. The only noise being the buzz that came from the heater inside the house. I walked into Big Mama’s room as the peace hit me immediately. “Hey, Big Mama,” I said out loud, “if you could help me find Uncle Stew, we would appreciate it.” I smiled, knowing that she heard me and hoped that she would lead me in the right direction. I left her room and walked down the stairs to the basement, the place where he slept. His room was a bit more cluttered than it usually was. His clothes were hanging out of his dresser, and the mattress on his bed was leaning a bit to the left. This nigga needs to clean up, I said to myself as I searched through his room. There was no sign of him, not even of the crossword puzzles he kept in bunches around the house. I shook my head and walked up the stairs and out the corner of my eye, I saw a tiny blue bag. I squinted my eyes and bent down to pick it up. It was packaged the same way Nas had ours put out. It was already opened and empty by the time I got to it, so I stuck my finger in there, hoping to get a taste of the residue. This muthafucka! I said to myself as I stormed up the stairs. This nigga is getting high on our shit! I can’t believe this! I stormed through the kitchen and stood on the front patio, scanning up and down the block for any sign of him. It was the last thing I wanted to see—my uncle strung out on this shit again. I sent Vinny a text to let him know what was going on,

  Yo, Unc on that shit again. Keep a lookout and we might need to change the locks. He gets bad enough, he gon’ start trying to sell shit from out of the house. I’ma look for him. He responded a few moments later, Aight, Lyric.

  For the rest of that day, I drove around the gutters, looking for anywhere that Uncle Stew could be—all of the usual crackhead hangout spots and soup kitchens, but I didn’t see him anywhere. It was raining, though, so most of them found shelter somewhere, whether it was an abandoned building or under a bridge. He was strung out for a while, so my guess is that he knew many more places to hide than I did. Before I knew it, it was time to pick up Prince from Mrs. Butler’s house, so I headed that way.

  She opened the door. “Shhhh, the baby is sleep,” she said as she ushered me in. I walked over to the couch where he was laid out on top of a blanket, his hand still clenching a bottle that was halfway gone. She smiled, “he was a handful today. Just restless, it seemed like, you know? It looked like something was bothering him and I wish he could talk to grandma so I could make him feel better,” she glanced at him, “but he probably wouldn’t tell me anyway, actin just like Junie.” She caught herself. I knew that, in her mind, this was Junie’s son and honestly, I was ok with her doing that. I knew there was just a void that Prince was going to fill for her, whether I liked it or not. I grabbed a few of his toys and placed them back inside of his baby bag, preparing to leave. She helped me for a minute before saying what was on her mind,

  “You know, Lyric. Have you considered putting him up for adoption?”

  I looked at her irrationally, “Uh, no. Never. Why?”

  “Well,” she was hesitant to go forward, but she did, “when Nas came by here earlier today? I knew he was bad news. I even told Serena that when you two left, and I know that you have a pretty tight bond with him. I’m just afraid that something will happen to Prince, you know? I mean, something will happen to you two first and then him. I understand that you two are grown and if I could lock you two away somewhere and keep you safe, I would. But Prince? He’s just a baby, and we have to do everything in our power to keep him safe. He’s not grown like you two so he can’t make his deci—”

  “Mom, I get what you’re saying, and I understand where you’re coming from, but honestly, adoption never crossed my mind. I mean, even when I was pregnant, and the doctors gave that option to me, I told them no. That is my baby and my baby is going to stay with me.”

  “But Lyric,” she said, folding up his blankets, “are you sure he is safe? Are you positive?”

  “How do you know he would be safe here, Mom?” She looked at me quizzically and in my mind, I thought about Nas’s rage leading him to do something while Prince was here.

  “I mean, I guess what I’m saying is, that danger is everywhere, and it could happen to anybody, no matter how much you try to keep things safe.”

  “I know, baby, I know. But the thing is, if you keep yourself out of trouble then most likely, trouble won’t find you. You’ve just gotta keep yourself clear from it. Respect danger and it will respect you.”

  “Look, Mom. I truly appreciate your concern for Prince; I really do, but I’m not going to give him up for adoption. Not to you or anybody else,” I put a few more things in his bag, “now, God forbid, if something happens to me then yes, please PLEASE take care of Prince for us. I mean, I already know you would but until that happens, Prince will be staying with his parents, ok?”

  She sighed. I knew she had a deep fear for his safety, and she had a good reason for it. As me and Nas were growing our empire, we were becoming bigger targets for somebody to knock us off our throne just like Nas did to Big Tuck. It was a vicious cycle in the drug game, but we knew what we were getting into from the jump, so it wasn’t a surprise to us. The thing is, I was just as worried about her safety as she was for mine. A part of me wanted to tell her to leave town for a while until some things blow over but just knowing the type of woman she was, I knew she wasn’t going to budge. She was tough and honestly, I could see glimpses of her strength in Nas. I put Prince in his car seat; he was still sound asleep, and I kissed Mrs. Butler on the cheek. She was uneasy, but she hugged and kissed me back. I covered Prince as we walked out into the pouring rain—a perfect visual of what my life was becoming.

  Chapter 6

  Nas didn’t come home that night, so after I dropped Prince off the next day, I drove over to the central spot on Buffum Street. The house was pretty quiet on the outside, just a few men hanging around the front door. They all nodded their heads at me, the quiet way most people said, “What’s up.” The front door was bolted shut, and when I knocked, I could hear the person on the other end removing them before he opened the door. When I walked through, Man-Man stood with a shotgun clenched in his hand.

  “Whassup Lyric?”

  “Hey, Man-Man. You aight?”

  “I’m good.”

  He bolted the door back as I walked through the house. The furniture was gone out of the front room, making the wooden floors clearly visible. All of the rooms on the first floor were cleaned out. I turned to Man-Man,

  “Where the fuck is everybody?”

  “They moved all that shit to the basement. It was too much in the open up here, and Nas had some work done. I’ll take you down there.”

  He walked me over to the basement door and knocked three times, paused, and then hit twice. A few more bolts were removed from that door, and we walked down the basement stairs. All the women were down there, bagging coke like an assembly line. They hired a few men since the last time I came through, and they were all topless. The hypes would try to sneak drugs out in their clothing, so Nas would make them all work naked until it was time for them to go. He figured he had enough bodies on him already, and he was tired of killing people for stealing. “A fuckin’ hype is gon’ be a fuckin’ hype, so shit, we’ll just make them strip till they leave.” Those were his words and he stood by them. Man-Man took me to the edge of the basement, showing me a trap door.

  “If we get raided, they been trained to throw all the shit in here. They will never find it once it goes in.”

  When he closed it, there was no sign of a door ever being there. It was the perfect cover up for the drug operation we had going on. Nas was always trying to stay a few steps ahead of the police, and I had to admit, with something like this, he was guaranteed to be ahead of them if the time ever came. I eventually made my way back upstairs after the brief tour and walked to Nas’s room. Knock, Knock.

  “Who that?”


  “It’s Lyric.”

  I heard some rustling behind the door and then he finally opened it for me to come in. “Whassup, Ma?” he said, kissing me on the cheek and closing the door behind me. I walked over to the bed and took a seat, “Shit. I’m chillin. You good?” He walked over and took a seat right next to me before answering,

  “I’m straight. Straighter than a muthafucka.”

  “You know you were on some bullshit the other day, right?”

  “When?”

  “Don’t play dumb, nigga. When you followed me to Mrs. Butler’s house.”

  “Oh, that shit?” he laughed, “ain’t nobody thinkin’ ‘bout that bitch,” he said, avoiding eye contact with me.

  “Why she gotta be a bitch?”

  He turned around to face me, “Oh shit, my bad. I forgot that was like yo’ other Moms and shit, my bad yo. Um, ain’t nobody thinkin’ about that broad. Now, is that better?”

  “Whatever, Nigga.”

  I stood up and walked over to the window. The dogs barked as they wrestled with each other in the grass, behaving as if they were trying to rip each other’s head off. I could hear them growling as they went back and forth. Nas came up behind me, squeezing me around my waist, “My bad, Ma. I am not tryin’ to piss you off or nothin’ but um, Mrs. Butler is old news now. Ain’t nobody thinkin’ about her.” I turned towards him, “You promise?” He smiled, still avoiding eye-contact with me, “I promise baby, I promise. I ain’t gon’ touch that old lady.” I’d known him for almost two years now, and one thing I knew is when he wasn't honest, but right now, I couldn’t get a good read on him. I just decided to trust what he told me because I didn’t believe he would hurt a woman that his son was so fond of. I lifted myself on my tiptoes to kiss him on the lips,

  “Ok, baby. I’ll believe you.”

  “Word. So, what you think about moving to another city?”

  “Another city? I don’t know, Nas. I mean, we good here, ain’t we?”

  “We good here and shit, but this world is bigger than Milwaukee. I’m tryin’ to set up shit in multiple cities so I can keep building the empire, you know what I’m sayin’?”

  “Yeah, but shit, where you tryin’ to go?”

  “We can stay around here. Detroit. Chicago. Shit, I’d even consider Minnesota.”

  “I don’t know, baby.”

  “What’s the problem?”

  “I mean, Prince for one. We’d have to find another sitter, and I don’t wanna leave my baby with just anybody.”

  “Trust me, Ma. All that shit will be taken care of. Just trust ya’ man on this one, aight?”

  “Shit Nas, I gotta think about it.”

  I left his arms and walked back over to the bed as he stood at the window for a few moments. I knew he wouldn’t want to stay here in Milwaukee for a long time. In about two years, he had pretty much come here and done what he set out to do. On top of that, nobody, not even the police were on to him yet except for Big Tuck’s murder, but they hadn’t spoken to either one of us about it. As far as we were concerned, that case was going to be a cold file. He finally walked over and sat next to me on the bed, rubbing his hand up and down my thigh, “Ma, just trust me, aight? I'm going to make sure you and Prince are straight. Y’all my life, you know what I’m saying? I ain’t gon’ do shit that will have y’all in danger. I'm going to make sure mine is safe every time before I jump off into anything, you should know that. I want you to know that if you don’t.” He held my cheek in his hand, guiding me to look him in the eye.

  “You trust me?” he asked with a look of confidence.

  I sighed, “Yeah baby, I trust you.” He smiled, “that’s what I like to hear.”

  He leaned over and kissed me on the neck once, and I put my hand on the back of his head. He went in for another kiss, except this time, he used his tongue to make a line from my neck to the tip of my ear. I leaned backward on the bed as he slowly climbed atop of me, ripping the buttons off my shirt as he pulled it open. I was immediately moist from his aggression as he pulled my bra down and put my breast in his mouth, licking my nipples back and forth with his tongue. He slid down lower, kissing my stomach as he loosened my pants and pulled them down. A moment later, I felt his tongue inside of me. I didn’t remember the last time he gave me head, but I wouldn’t forget this time. He licked my clit slow at first and then sped up before he put his face all the way in it. I wrapped my legs around his head as he grabbed my thighs, the fullness of his tongue all over my pussy. I grabbed his head, pushing him in deeper as I heard him slurping me, which turned me on even more. “I’m about to cum,” I said, pushing his head deeper inside as he slowly stroked my clit with his tongue. My legs locked around him and as I came, my whole body shook from pleasure. After I had released him, he took his pants off, exposing his erection. He scooted up to my head and shoved his dick into my mouth, and I took all of it, bobbing my head on it back and forth as he stroked my wet pussy with his hand. Suddenly, he pushed my head back and scooted down lower, inserting his meat into my vagina hard, pounding me like he was punishing me for something I did wrong. I wanted him to hurt me, though. I wanted him to stick his fat ass dick inside of me so deep that it hurt when I tried to walk. He pinned my legs back and went in as I moaned, a sound mixed with pleasure and pain. He put his hand around my throat, squeezing it just tight enough to where I felt him but I didn’t pass out. I glanced in the mirror, watching him pump me without mercy until he stopped and grabbed my legs, flipping me over onto my stomach. He used so much strength that I couldn’t have stopped him if I wanted to. Before I could say anything, I felt his dick deep inside my pussy while he stuck a thumb in my ass and it was at that moment that I came again. He smacked my ass while I gripped the pillow so hard that it broke one of my nails. He grabbed me and pushed his dick in as deep as it could go as the pain caused so much pleasure that I couldn’t make out which one it was. Moments later, I felt his cum shoot inside of me.

  I flopped down on the bed as he lay down next to me, breathing hard and trying to catch his breath. I curled up and scooted right next to him as we both laid on the bed naked until we fell asleep. Whatever doubts I had about moving out of town with him were gone now. He sealed the deal with that one fuck he gave and reminded me of how sprung I was over him. Who was I kidding? There was no way in the world I was going to let him leave this city without me.

  When I woke up, he was already gone. The sun was just beginning to go down outside as I reached for my phone to look at the time: 5:52 pm. I was late picking up Prince, so I knew I had to get over there before it was too late. I had two text messages, both from Vinny: Lyric, Uncle Stew came back home, and that nigga is on that shit. Come through when you can. Fuck, I said to myself, got-damn it! I scrolled to the next message, Yo, Lyric; I almost had to square up with this nigga. He tried to snake me for my PS4. I had to swing on him. Come through. I picked up my phone, ready to throw it into the wall but I restrained myself. I couldn’t believe what I had just read. I’m on my way, Vinny, I messaged right back.

  I came to Big Mama’s house as Vinny stood on the front porch as if he was waiting for Uncle Stew to try to come back. He was shaking his head, apologizing as soon as I stepped out my car,

  “Yo, my bad Lyric, my bad. I had to, though. That nigga was literally on some other shit. I mean, this nigga—”

  “Vinny, Chill. I already know how he can get.”

  I walked inside the house to look around, “Yo, did he take anything else?” He locked the door behind him, “Nah, I mean. I didn't check anywhere else but the front room and the kitchen and shit. I didn’t go in Big mama’s room, though. You know I don’t fuck with her room.” As soon as he said that, I thought about the picture of my mom that Big Mama kept in a gold frame. “Shit!” I said out loud as I ran to the room. The picture frame was gone, the glass that held my mother’s picture in was broken into pieces on the dresser. I walked over to the picture, moving the glass off of it as I glanced at my mother. She had
the same, solemn look on her face as if she knew what her brother just did. I left the room in a hurry and went back to the front.

  “How long has he been gone?”

  He looked down at his watch, “I don’t know. Maybe like an hour or two.”

  “Did he have a bike or anything?”

  “He rolled off on a bike now that I think about it.”

  “Which way did he go?”

  “He went to the left.”

  “Aight. Aye, beat the shit out of him if he comes back again, but this time don’t let him leave until I get here. I don’t give a fuck what time it is.”

  “Aight, but yo’ Lyric, them fuckin’ crackheads be havin’ like super human strength sometimes when they get high. They are—”

  “Vinny, shut the fuck up.”

  The streetlights flickered on as I got in my car and headed down the block. I could narrow it down by knowing which way he went when he left the house. In this direction, there were some crack houses and soup kitchens scattered throughout the area. It was a nice evening, so he was bound to be hanging around one of those spots. I got out my car and walked into one of the abandoned houses with my pistol drawn, “Where the fuck is Stew at?” I yelled, aiming the gun at a house full of hypes. They all scattered out the room like roaches when the lights are turned on, leaving behind crack pipes and alcohol bottles. “Stew!” I yelled out, walking through the house with my pistol out, ready to fire at anything that charged at me. He wasn’t there, so I got in my car and headed to the next spot. It was the same outcome as fiends jumped out of first-story windows just to get away from me. I walked to the backyard and caught a woman giving head to another man by a fence. He looked over at me, his beard full of lint, the whites of his eyes looked as if he had jaundice. They didn’t even stop what they were doing, she kept sucking his dick as he leaned against the fence, a few other crackheads laying down with a clear view of them as if they were watching a live porno. I spun around and left, knowing that there weren’t many more places around here where I would find him.