Past Forward- A Serial Novel: Volume 3

by Chautona Havig

  “That’s ok, we’re used to adults who don’t know what they’re doing,” Tavish commented casually. “Aunt Aggie didn’t know anything either, and she’s learning.”

  A choking sound from the other side of the room made Willow send a warning glance Chad’s way. “So I have a few rules.” At the look of disappointment on Laird’s face, Willow smiled. “No worries, there aren’t many. I don’t use electricity in the house, so for light at night we use candles and oil lamps. Laird can light one if he needs it, but I want Ellie and Tavish to ask.”

  Tavish and Ellie nodded solemnly, while Laird smiled smugly to himself. Willow suspected that it wasn’t often that Laird was the first to be given a privilege in his family. Vannie probably beat him to that punch.

  “If you go somewhere, take the kitchen timer so you can be back when you say you will. I put it out on the counter in the kitchen.” She paused trying to remember the third rule she’d made while working that morning. “Oh yes. If you climb up the loft in the barn, do it while someone else is in there. Don’t come down without someone in there either.”

  “Why?” Tavish asked curiously.

  “It’s high up there, and the floor is concrete. You could freeze to death before we found you if you fell,” she stated practically.

  Chad almost choked. Her matter-of-fact tone prompted horrified looks on the children’s faces. He couldn’t resist asking, “Were you allowed to climb up by yourself when you were little?”

  “Not until I was six or seven.”

  “We’re eight!” Tavish said excitedly.

  “Yes,” Willow said sternly, “but you didn’t grow up here and know it inside and out. You’ll have to agree to obey the rule, or you can just stay out of the barn completely. I don’t have a car. I can’t get help quickly for you if you fall.”

  The twins stared at each other as if they’d entered another world. Laird found it all a little ridiculous but wasn’t willing to risk loss of privilege by saying so. “Can we explore out there?”

  “Of course. Oh, and I brought my sled down from the attic and tied my zip line up to the trees straight back from the chicken coop. Just remember,” she added with a smug glance at Chad, “to drop before you slam into the tree.”

  The Stuart children looked at each other in shock and then jumped up. “Can we go out now?” Laird was obviously interested in the zip line.

  Willow watched as they raced outside. “Well that went well I guess.”

  “Yes, but in the future, I wouldn’t recommend advertising your weaknesses. You’re likely to give them ideas.”

  “Surely not!”

  Leaning against the banister, Chad crossed his arms and studied her. “You are so in over your head.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  “I’m hungry.”

  She tossed a disgusted look at him. “You say that like you think I should do something about it.”

  “Well,” he began threateningly. “I just realized that I’ve never discovered if you’re ticklish. Maybe a few tickles would inspire you to ‘do something about it.’”

  “You don’t scare me,” she said with studied nonchalance.

  Chad took a step forward. Willow, who seemed unwilling to show any concern but clearly did not wish him to discover exactly how ticklish she truly was, turned and lazily walked to the kitchen, forcing herself not to look back to see if he followed. Still standing in the living room, Chad chuckled to himself. He knew she was ticklish—very ticklish. Kari’s journal had been very enlightening.

  After lunch, Chad sauntered outside to join the children and show them around the farm. Willow watched out the back door for a while before she climbed the stairs to assemble the daybed she’d purchased for her spare room. She sat on the floor surrounded by pieces and instructions, carefully separating everything in order of when she’d need it and making a mental list of the tools she’d need.

  Systematically, she assembled the frame, base, and then dragged the mattress upstairs and shoved it in place. At this point, she realized one slight problem. All of her sheets were queen and full sized and the daybed needed twin according to the box. Twin—for a smaller mattress. Willow found that amusing.

  Ellie found her hemming a shortened sheet on the sewing machine, working the treadle awkwardly. Willow hated when things that should be second nature showed her weak muscle at its worst. “What are you doing?”

  “I didn’t have any sheets that fit the new bed, so I’m making some.”

  “Why didn’t you just buy some new ones?”

  The idea hadn’t even occurred to her. “I had extra sheets so I just made them work.”

  “Oh.” Ellie watched for a moment and then asked if she could play with the dollhouse upstairs.

  “Sure. I’ll be up in a few minutes to clean up my mess once this sheet is done.”

  Half an hour later, while Laird and Tavish explored the barn and greenhouse, Chad climbed the stairs and listened near the door of “Ellie’s Room.” Willow told the tale of the family who lived in the house. Willow’s answers to Ellie’s questions about the father caused Chad’s throat to swell painfully. Willow had no role for the father.

  “Willow?”

  She hurried into the hallway surprised to see Chad standing there with a look of misery on his face. “What is it? Are the boys ok?”

  “I just—” He sighed. “I overheard you. It breaks my heart that you didn’t have a father— that you don’t know the love and protective care of a daddy. It’s so foreign and horrible to me. Every girl should have a daddy to tell her she’s pretty and the most special girl in the world.”

  “But I did,” she assured him. “I did. I had my Abba who protected me better than any daddy ever could have, and I knew He loved me and held me close in His everlasting arms. What child could want for more than that?”

  “Dad, she meant it. I didn’t know how to argue it, but we weren’t designed not to have both fathers and—”

  “Son, don’t press it. Someday she’ll have children who have both and then she’ll see.”

  Chad sighed. “I took you for granted nearly every single day of my life. I’m sorry, Pop.”

  Christopher sighed. He had his son back. It had started when Chad came to him for help, and through the months it’d grown into even better than their old camaraderie. “Son, we all take one another for granted. I think if we didn’t, we’d explode with gratitude.”

  Chapter Eighty-Three

  Willow’s home was nothing like the Stuart children had ever seen. Though not as electronically addicted as many children, they were accustomed to an occasional movie, computer game, or even the Internet for school research. Laird found digging through Willow’s heavy encyclopedias for answers to simple questions tedious. Candlelight and oil lanterns while quaint seemed silly, especially after the children discovered that there was electrical power to the house and it just wasn’t used.

  They played Yahtzee and Chinese checkers after dinner. Willow didn’t know how to play with only one column in Yahtzee and one color of marble in Chinese checkers. The children didn’t know how to pass the time without more direction than Willow knew to provide. By eight forty-five, everyone had become frustrated and impatient.

  “I think it’s time to put away the games and get ready for bed.”

  Laird grabbed the checkerboard and carried it upstairs without a word. Tavish shrugged and picked up the Yahtzee box and said goodnight. With an eager hug for Chad and a tentative one for Willow, Ellie raced upstairs to change for bed, laughing with the boys and giggling over inside jokes as she did.

  One glance around the room and Willow felt overwhelmed. Stacks of books lay in piles here and there, while afghans draped casually over every sitting surface. It was a mess like Willow had never seen—even at Christmas and birthdays!

  Chad followed the children upstairs. Squeals erupted in Ellie’s room, sending Willow upstairs to see what the matter was. She found Chad sitting on the edge of the bed,
praying with her and wishing her pleasant dreams. As Willow pulled her own pajamas from her drawer, she heard Chad enter her mother’s room and tease the boys into their bed, laughing and joking about things that made no sense to her. She stood in the doorway as Chad prayed over the boys and sent them to sleep with promises of sled rides the following afternoon. He grabbed his duffel bag and uniform from inside their closet and smiled at Willow as he passed her in the hall.

  “You ok?”

  “Just changing too.”

  “Need the bathroom before I shower?”

  Willow shook her head, as she slowly closed the door. “I’m fine.”

  Freshly showered, shaven, and ready for work Chad jogged down the stairs in his stocking feet, ready to put on his work shoes just before he left. Willow, hair tousled and hanging free, sat on the couch, glancing through one of the textbooks the children had left lying around the living room. Impatiently, Willow forced her hair behind her ears in order to see as she turned the pages, occasionally pausing to read something, and then quickly flipping again.

  Chad sat down next to her and laid his arm across the back, his hand resting on her shoulder. “What are you reading?”

  “This book—Health C. I can’t understand the purpose of it.”

  The book wasn’t one he’d ever seen, but it looked like every other health textbook with reminders on brushing teeth, basic first aid, and why fruit is better for you than candy. “It’s just a normal Health text. What’s wrong with it?”

  “Aren’t those children a little old not to know this stuff? Isn’t this the kind of thing you learn when you’re really little and your mom teaches you?”

  Chad shrugged. “Yeah. I think I knew most of this before kindergarten. Got a refresher course every year until about fifth or sixth grade, and then things got a little more—” he altered his word for one less terrifying to her, “—detailed. I think they do it for the kids who don’t have parents who care enough to teach it.”

  “So why is Aggie making her kids read this stuff if they already know it?”

  That question was more difficult to answer. “I guess it’s just what someone recommended so she bought it.”

  “So what do they teach in fifth or sixth grade that’s any different?”

  The topic was no longer comfortable. “Well you know, they got into diseases, reproduction, substance abuse—”

  “What abuse?”

  “You know, drugs, alcohol—”

  “That’s not really the point of school is it? I mean,” she tried to clarify quickly; “I thought you went to school to learn history and geography and how to write and communicate effectively. I thought it was about math—the old readin’, ‘ritin’, and ‘rithmetic.”

  “Not anymore. Now it’s about whatever is on the current political and social agenda.”

  She shut the book impatiently. “We’ve hardly talked about children, but I think we’ve established that we both want to have one or two someday.”

  “Yes…”

  “Will you expect me to put my children through that?”

  “What—” Chad began, but Willow interrupted him.

  “How deficient do you think my education was?”

  “Willow, I don’t think you had a deficient education at all. Actually, in a lot of areas, you’re education was far superior to most people’s I’ve known.”

  Chad glanced at his watch as the clock chimed. “I have to go. Where is your phone, I’ll talk to you on the way to work.”

  “In the barn charging again.”

  “Go get it and call me.”

  Chad used the break in conversation to pray fast. He suddenly realized that education could be a deal breaker for Willow. He’d never considered homeschooling. He knew his parents didn’t think much of Libby’s support for Luke’s sister’s home school journey, and now Luke and Aggie… If he joined the fray, it could cause further stress on a relationship that was just re-knitting itself.

  On the other hand, he’d read Kari’s educational plan. He’d seen the fruit of it in Willow’s life. He loved how eager she was to learn anything that interested her. The fact that she picked up immediately on a flaw in the educational system that he’d noticed as a child showed him it wasn’t just the immaturity of a lazy third grader, but rather there was something to be said for not wasting children’s time on things they already knew.

  His phone rang. “Hey…”

  “Chad, I don’t want to be difficult about this, but I never thought about educating a child. I can’t do this.”

  “Can’t do what,” he questioned a sense of dread coming over him. Until that moment, Chad hadn’t realized just how much he looked forward to their marriage.

  “I can’t send my children away to school all day, and I can’t teach them like this at home. Chad, this book is telling children Ellie’s age to wash their hands after using the bathroom. I knew that at three!”

  “Yes, and some adults still don’t do it regularly.”

  “That’s disgusting,” she announced with finality.

  “It is. And it’s proof that all the teaching in the world doesn’t make a difference to some people.”

  The clock struck ten. Willow sighed. “You have to work. You should think about this Chad. If this is how you want your children educated, you’ll have to make a decision.”

  He took a deep breath and asked the question despite already knowing the answer. “A decision about what?”

  “Whether you want children or me, because I won’t have them if this is what it means. Good night, Chad.”

  A lamp glowed from Willow’s living room window as Chad drove up the driveway on his dinner break. Was Ellie having trouble sleeping away from home? Was Willow still worrying about education? He found her asleep on the couch, surrounded by textbooks, her mother’s journals, and her Bible open on her chest.

  Gently, Chad removed the Bible, marking her place with a ribbon lying on the arm of the couch. He stacked the textbooks and journals on the coffee table and stood, hands stuffed in his pockets, watching her sleep. He was torn. How would they solve this problem? He didn’t have the answer she sought, but he knew one thing. He refused to let Willow go.

  He added wood to the upstairs woodstove, turned down her covers, and returned to her side. As he struggled to lift her, Willow’s eyes opened sleepily. “Chad?”

  “You fell asleep.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “You need your sleep,” he explained, patiently amused to be sharing the obvious. “So I decided to do something about it.”

  “I can walk.”

  “Mmm hmm. And I can carry. Amazing how talented we both are,” he teased, pausing on the landing before he took the next side of stairs.

  “I should jump down, but frankly I’m too tired, and you’re too comfortable,” she murmured.

  Willow was nearly instantly asleep again once her head hit the pillow. Chad covered her and brushed her hair from her cheek. “Oh, Willow,” he murmured frustrated. “Why must you ‘borrow trouble,’ as Aunt Libby always says?”

  His watch told him he still had time to eat. While his soup heated, he left a note for her.

  Willow,

  Hope you got enough sleep. If you’re up before I get home, why don’t you just leave the animals for me? I’m extra tired tonight, so if everyone is still asleep when I get there, I’ll probably just stick the air mattress in the craft room and sleep there. I’ll eat first, so if you hear me, let me know you’re up and I’ll make enough for both of us.

  Try not to fret about things. It’s going to be ok.

  I miss you,

  Chad

  The kitchen was warm and smelled heavenly as Chad burst in the door. “Hey, I brought cold milk in from the barn. I drank the rest last night. What smells so good?”

  “Muffins. I boiled a dozen eggs from the cellar—they’re in that bowl—and I made the orange juice you brought too.” She paused as he slowly dragged off his coat and hung it on a peg b
y the back door. “You look tired.”

  “I am. What kind of muffins?”

  “Blackberry oatmeal. They’re good. I need to order grains. I’m almost out.”

  Chad took the kettle from her and set it on the back of the stove. With arms wrapped around her, he whispered, “Good morning,” into her ear. Willow didn’t quite know how to respond. She’d imagined frustration with her or even coldness, but this warmth was unexpected.

  “I could get used to this.”

  “You’d better. I intend to come home to some meal or another for a very long time.”

  Chad kissed her cheek, grabbed the kettle, and mixed a cup of instant coffee before he sank exhausted into his “usual” chair. Though he usually savored his food and enjoyed table conversation with Willow, his extreme weariness pushed him to eat quickly so he could collapse in bed.

  “The kids still sleeping?”

  She nodded smiling. “They’re so cute. The boys are sleeping facing each other. Tavish breathes out of his mouth, and it ruffles Laird’s hair. Ellie is curled into a little ball at the corner of the bed like a puppy in a box.”

  “Do you know where I put the air mattress?”

  “I aired out my bed. It’s ready for you to climb into. There’s no reason to sleep on that thing when my comfy bed is empty.”

  After he rinsed his plate, drained his coffee, and washed his hands, Chad reminded her to have the children do their schoolwork before they went to play and climbed the stairs. Seconds later, he jogged back down. “Do you know what I did with my sweats you washed?”