In all probability, he knew she was right. “Well, they’re going to be disappointed. I gave you my word of honor and I intend to keep it every one of my vows.”
As she stared up into his green as grass eyes, her insides melted when he looked back at her as though she was the most precious thing in the world to him. If only she could believe it was true, but no matter what she was starting to long for, she wasn’t that gullible. It was an effort to remind herself that he was a renowned seducer, a libertine, a charmer with a glib tongue.
Only time would prove him true or not and until then, she wasn’t going to fall for any of his sweet talk. With a sigh, she turned away knowing he wasn’t expecting an answer. There was no point refusing as he wordlessly led her out on the dance floor when the music started, she reluctantly admitted he danced the waltz divinely.
It was quite irritating that the blasted man seemed to be an expert at just about everything. Especially kissing. She gave a small shake of her head, refusing to let her mind wander down that path. But much to her annoyance she couldn’t help remembering when he kissed her earlier this evening it had taken her a long time to recover.
Admittedly, she was still shaken from them and touching his naked chest, to her shame, it only made her want to discover what lay beneath the rest of his clothing. The man was too dangerous, too potent and darn well to desirable, yet even before she confronted him and demanded they wed, she had known exactly what he was like. She knew precisely what type of husband she was acquiring but having no experience she wondered if she would ever be enough to satisfy him.
After all, she’d heard the rumors of his lack of longevity where women were concerned and it made her wonder how long it would take for him to grow bored with her. How soon would it be before he started searching for another woman to satisfy him? There was no denying he was a man with a passionate nature and he wouldn’t deny himself for long.
Oh, he might have given his word and would probably try to keep it, but with his record, his eyes would one day start wandering. It was why she was determined to maintain a distance between them. The very last thing she wanted was for her heart to become involved even if she knew one day soon they would be intimate, she intended to retain a barrier between them locking away her emotions. No matter how hard it was going to be, she was going to safeguard her heart against any heartbreak.
The very last thing she was going to do was love him and that she was afraid was the biggest hurdle she would have to face. She also reluctantly admitted it would probably be easy to fall head-over-heels in love with him. Because she knew already even in the little time they have already spent together that his intoxicating allure was becoming addictive.
Heaven help her, his kisses were so enthralling they left her weak-kneed and starry eyed that she couldn’t think straight. It actually made her terrified of all the other things he would do to her. Not that she knew exactly what went on between lovers, she did know though that usually children were the result and at the moment she wasn’t ready to bring any into the world.
Silently she prayed he didn’t intend to impregnate her straight away, later she would have to speak to him about the subject and hoped she wouldn’t embarrass herself too much.
From beneath her lashes, she eyed her husband and was surprised to find him staring down at her with a tender, indulgent smile
If she didn’t know better he looked utterly besotted, he was a consummate actor she’d give him that. Her gaze whipped around the room and she could see everyone staring and whispering. Were they truly fooled? she wondered. She turned back to Killian and leaned in closer. “Why am I not surprised you even waltz wickedly. You’re behaving shockingly and holding me far to close. How long do you plan to stay here?”
“You’re my wife and no one will comment on the way I’m holding you and thank you for the compliment. As you know I rarely dance at these affairs, but tonight this is the perfect place to share our first dance together. We’ll leave after the waltz has finished. If that’s alright with you?” Killian’s armed tightened a fraction more drawing her even nearer.
When her breasts brushed against his waistcoat, her heart slammed against her chest and she dropped her eyes to his cravat to catch her breath. “Yes, that’s fine.” Lord help her, suddenly her whole body felt alive and tingling. Strange and wondrous things were stirring inside her.
It was imperative before anything further happened between them that they have a frank discussion and she also had to speak to her aunt before they shared anymore intimacy. If there was a way to prevent having children until she was ready, she had better find it and fast. Because the brilliant hunger and desire glowing in his eyes told her he wasn’t going to wait very long to bed her.
Much to her horror, she suddenly wanted him to. If that was ludicrous she didn’t know what was. She couldn’t fathom how out of nowhere that all the years of dislike seemed to have evaporated into thin air and all her pre-conceived assessment of his character she was discovering were wrong — well most of them.
Barely married for twenty-four hours and swiftly her whole attitude towards him was changing. It was inconceivable, but she was beginning to believe that he wasn’t the coldhearted fornicator she assumed he was. If she wasn’t careful she’d be blinded by his charm and magnetism and that was something she couldn’t allow to happen.
Chapter Seven
Dressed in only his silk robe and trousers, Killian waited until he heard the maid leave his bride’s chamber. He grinned at his reflection in the mirror, tonight had been a success in more ways than one. No one could doubt that his and Modesty’s marriage was anything but a love match. Lucky for him, he’d overheard a few whispering comments that had been more than satisfactory. Now it was time to continue his seduction. Opening the adjoining door, he stepped inside and found her seated at the dressing table. He smiled when she lifted her head and turned to face him.
Without a word he crossed the floor, plucked the brush from her hand and placed it on the table. Bending over he swept her up in his arms, carried her across the room and into his own chamber, he stopped when he reached his bed. “You’ll sleep here from now on.”
As she was placed on the mattress, Modesty glared up at him in protest. “I don’t think so. I much prefer my own bed and chamber, thank you.”
Ignoring her, he settled on his side facing her. “Too bad. I want you here.” He reached out and lifted long, strands of thick hair and let them slide through his fingers. “We’re married and your place is beside me.” He explained in a husky voice fascinated by the feel and the texture of her hair.
“Before I agree to anything there are certain things we need to discuss.” Though nervous, she took this to be the perfect opportunity to have the intimate discussion.
Hell, what now? he wondered in a grouchy tone he asked. “What’s troubling you now?”
Unable to meet his intense gaze, she dropped her own and her eyes widened when she saw the robe he was wearing had parted giving her more than a glimpse of his chest and light swirl of soft hair. “I… ah.” Swiftly she averted her gaze to the ceiling. “Babies. I want to discuss having children.”
“Now that’s a subject I could warm to.” He cheekily replied and watched the blush spread up her neck and over her face. “Making them will be entirely pleasurable I can assure you.”
Modesty wondered if her face could grow any hotter. “Yes, well, I’m sure you would know a thing or two about it. You see I’m not ready to have any just yet. I would like to forgo becoming pregnant until I do want them.”
For a few heartbeats, he could only stare at her in disbelief, was she for real? But he could see she meant every word. “As my wife it’s your duty to supply me with heirs.”
“Duty be damned. It’s my body and I don’t want any babies just yet. Therefore, I insist you prevent it from happening.” She demanded irritably.
Seeing she was getting all worked up, he heaved a breath of annoyance. Did she actually expect him to p
ractice abstinence until she was? He gave a small shake of his head. No, she had agreed to being bedded. “I see and just how do you expect me to stop it from happening?” Oh, he knew how, he’d been practicing that particular precaution for many years, but he was curious to hear what she had to say.
Unsure, she nibbled on her bottom lip thoughtfully. “I don’t know? You’re the one with all the experience and with all your lovers I’ve never heard any rumors that you’ve sired any illegitimate children. Since you haven’t I can only conclude you know how to prevent it from happening.”
Several curses rang in his head, his irritation increased; he rolled onto his back and clenched his jaw. Damn those false bloody rumors to hell. “Let me assure you I have never impregnated any woman. And if I did know how to prevent it, why should I do such a thing with my own wife? For God’s sake woman we are married and children are part and parcel of the deal.” Blasted female, again she’d soured the mood. Sitting up, he turned the lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. “Go to sleep.” He growled low and he started removing the remainder of his clothing. Once the blankets were settled over them, he flipped over on his side, his back facing her.
Damn infuriating hellion, he should have known when he’d noticed she was preoccupied on the way home that she had something outrageous on her mind. Still it wasn’t her decision to make. Prevent her from falling pregnant indeed. Not that he was in any hurry to sire any children, eventually though they would start having them, but before they did he wanted her to himself for a year or two at least.
Wretched woman, why did she have to make every little thing so difficult. His jaw clenched, he’d thought of very little else since he agreed to marry her about finally being able to spill himself inside a woman. Yet here she was denying him, but did she ask him prettily, no she damn well demanded. Demanded.
As for impregnating a woman, no matter how enamored he was of one of his infrequent lovers, he’d never forgotten to practice safe sex. The very last thing he wanted was illegitimate children or a forced marriage. He also knew of other methods, but he’d be damned if he would tell his innocent bride any of them.
Now that he was legally married, she was refusing him to seek the ultimate pleasure. If it wasn’t so outlandish it would be laughable. Yet in his consciousness, he knew she had a right to make such a request, he’d be a self-centered, despicable cur to force a child on her when she wasn’t ready to have one.
Damn it all, his own craving was battling against her rights, he hissed out a furious breath knowing that he’d do as she requested for the time being at least. However, she better not have any more outlandish demands, he’d conceded enough already. His temper cooling, he rolled over, wrapped an arm around her and dragged her flush up against him. “Alright, I agree.”
“Thank you.” She murmured sleepily as she snuggled against this chest.
A grimace of acceptance twisted his mouth, knowing his plans for seducing her were obsolete when he heard her drowsy voice, he kissed her brow and rested his chin on the top of her head. All evening he’d been eagerly looking forward to kissing her and sharing a few intimate touches, then fall asleep in each other’s arms.
At least he would enjoy one of his desires since he’d also been impatiently waiting to explore what it would be like to spend the whole night in bed with a woman. He’d never experienced it with any of his past lovers; it was too much profound and personal. It would only suggest he might be seeking more from them than he was.
When he chose the occasional demi-monde, he made certain she knew the rules and abided by them and they usually did. The interlude was always short-term and enjoyable. They accepted it without bitterness or compliant when he ended it. Now his whole world had turned upside down and inside out.
Hell, barely married twenty-four hours and his life had already become complicated and all twisted up. He also realized that everything had changed dramatically and he wasn’t sure yet if it was a bad or a good thing. Only time would tell he supposed, but the one thing he was immensely pleased about was that as a person he was starting to like his bride.
In all the years they’d known each other he’d never really bothered to take time to converse with her. Hell, he hadn’t even taken any interest in really getting to know her. Regrettably, he now realized he should have made the time and the effort to become better acquainted with her. They should have spent some time together so they could grow more familiar with each other.
Well, it was too late to feel remorse over what he should have done; all he could do was make certain they had a successful marriage. Besides, they had the years ahead to discover things about each other and if they were lucky, they just might grow to care for each other. Years ago, when he had first been informed of the contract between himself and Modesty he’d been furious and horrified.
It had taken him some time to finally accept it, but it didn’t lesson his aversion to the arrangement. He knew she felt the same and yet in a very short time they seemed to have put their animosity aside. It was a good thing because it would go a long way in bringing them closer together.
The very last thing he wanted was for them to be at odds with each other for the rest of their lives. He didn’t want bitter recriminations or chilling silence, nor did he want a cold, barren marriage.
Even without love, he at least wanted warmth, joy and companionship. He wanted a wife he could talk to, share laughter with, to enjoy passion in their bed and since he had been forced to wed before he was ready, he intended to have all of those things even if he had to fight his bride every step of the way.
He knew in his gut that she was tenaciously going to keep her distance and lock her emotions away. The only reason she had come to him in the first place was because she was desperate and for no other reason than that. A devilish smile tipped the corners of his mouth. Ah, my modest, little bride you’re going to have much to learn and I am eagerly looking forward to teaching you everything. His fingers continuously combed through the thick locks of hair as he drifted off into contented sleep.
***
Not wanting to wake her husband so early, Modesty tipped toed out of the room and into her own. After completing her dressing, she hurried to find her aunt wanting to seek more advice. Just because Killian had agreed not to impregnate her, she didn’t want to take any chances. She’d known by his surly tone he wasn’t happy about it and that made her wary. Too much was at risk to leave the matter completely in his hands. Since they knew very little about each other, she was yet to fully put her absolute trust in him.
Only time and becoming better acquainted would such a thing happen. Perhaps in three or four years she’d be ready to have children, but not yet. Nor would she even consider it until she knew their marriage would succeed. Downstairs in the breakfast room, she found aunt Lucy at the table. “Good morning, how did you sleep?” she asked and slipped onto the chair.
“Fine, dear. I didn’t expect you up so early, Modesty.” Lucy poured some tea for her niece.
A blush warming her cheeks, Modesty picked up her cup. “Yes, well Aunty, I need some advice. You see I’m not ready to have children just yet and I was um… ah was wondering if you knew how I could prevent it from happening.”
Lucy sputtered over a mouth full of tea. “Oh dear, oh my. Well, err… I… ah. Yes, I believe there are one or two ways, dear. Has your husband lifted your nightgown yet and you know?”
Wide-eyed, Modesty shook her head. Though she would have loved to ask what ‘you know’ meant she was too uncomfortable. Even now she could feel her cheeks flaming with embarrassment and ducking her head fiddled with the cutlery.
“Oh, well, that’s good I suppose. When he does and he’s finished, ‘you know’, you must find the chamber pot and use it. Once you have done that perhaps sit in a basin of water for several minutes. If that’s not possible you could also jump up and down a few dozen times. Also whirl a dozen times to your right then your left. I believe any of those things might do the trick.” Luc
y squirmed in her chair as she continued to sip from her cup.
There was that blasted ‘you know’ again, annoyed, Modesty started to drum her fingers on the table as she thought over her aunt’s explanation. The advice sounded simple enough and reasonable, but would it work? Lord, she prayed it would be successful. The tension eased slightly from her shoulders and she started to butter some toast.
She scowled thoughtfully and wondered why Killian would have to lift her nightgown and what did he intended to do when he did? She peeked at her aunt and saw the deep blush on her face. She huffed out a breath, she’d already embarrassed the poor dear and herself enough to ask any further questions, yet she dearly wanted to know more.
It just wasn’t fair that a woman had to wait until she was married to discover what actually happened in the marriage bed. Men it seemed knew from the time they were born were aware what it was all about and every one of them were eager to experience it whether they were married or not.
Hence, she could only conclude it was pleasurable and if it came close to all the sensation she’d already felt by just being kissed, whatever took place after he lifted her nightgown would also be enjoyable. Wouldn’t it?
At least discovering the little she had it eased some of her fears, but not all of them. Absently nibbling on her toast and sipping her tea, she decided to put the matter aside for now and wondered what she would do today. She didn’t want to sit around the house all day twiddling her thumbs.
Most of all she also wanted to avoid her husband’s company for a little while at least. It was imperative that they don’t grow too close and it was best if she kept some distance between them. With a shrug of her shoulders, he probably wouldn’t miss her anyway, he was sure to have lots to keep himself occupied.
Perhaps a morning stroll in the park with her aunt and then they could visit the shops. That should keep her busy for most of the day. Her shoulders drooped in dissatisfaction; it was all so boring and mundane. What she needed was to do something a little more thrilling and exciting.
Cupid's Arrow Book Two Capturing The Duke Page 7
