The Girlfriend's Secret

by Kyle Autumn

  The look on her face—one raised eyebrow, a half smirk—makes me choke on a piece of muffin, and I bang on my chest as I cough into my hand with the muffin. Apparently, she’s not giving up. And, apparently, I like that. Even if it makes everything so much more complicated than it needs to be. Why can’t we just be best friends who love each other but can never be together again?

  She rubs my back to help settle me down. As she does, I peek at her. She’s still perfect-looking. Not a hair out of place. Her red lips draw me in like a moth to a flame. Literally. My face is getting closer and closer to hers, and it’s like I have no control. I can’t stop it. The only way to stop is to meet her lips with mine. This is how we end up kissing again, muffins and croissants forgotten.

  The hand she has on my back presses me closer to her. Her other one cups my cheek and slides into my hair. When I moan against her lips, she sighs into my mouth and our tongues tangle together. I let the blanket fall away so don’t have that between us, but the memories of this weekend won’t fade as quickly. So I try to back away.

  “We shouldn’t do this,” I whisper, my forehead resting on hers.

  “Tell me why,” she insists. “One good reason that doesn’t include your parents.”

  I open my mouth to answer, but I have nothing. Beyond my family, it’s all fear and worry. Conjecture and speculation. Being different in a world that makes it hard. Coming out as a liar and a fake after so long. But none of that truly matters if I have Patti in my corner. By my side through it all.

  So I shake my head.

  “That’s what I thought,” she says. And then she kisses me again, reaching for the hem of my shirt and causing heat to rush through my veins in anticipation of what’s to come next.

  Chapter 6

  Patti

  Why can’t I stay away? Why do I love this woman so much that she can leave my house after we were first intimate and then insult my very being and I still come back? Well, I don’t believe she meant to insult me, for starters. I understand how confused she must be. It’s not easy to figure yourself out in this culture. So I get it. But that doesn’t mean I have to put up with her hot-and-cold shit. Yet I’m just selfish enough to take what I can get from her. Obviously, it’s not doing us any good. Though her being pressed against me feels damn good.

  “What about work?” she pants out between kisses.

  “We can both be late,” I answer, helping her out of her shirt—the same one she was wearing two days ago when I saw her last. Then I stand up and hold a hand out to her. “But I’ll help you get there. Come on.”

  She takes my hand, so I tug her up and right back to me. Once she’s in my arms again, she loops hers around my neck as mine go around her back and straight to her bra. I unhook it, wondering why she’d stay in this all weekend. How damn uncomfortable. But that’s my proper Zo. Always following the rules. Until now. Thank goodness.

  God, her breasts. They’re so perfect. Even though I’ve seen them a few times in the past—best friends change clothes in front of each other—I never wanted to break her trust or come off as “creepy.” So I’m only now realizing how amazing they really are. Just the right size. So soft and perky. I want to worship at their altar for the rest of our lives. If only she’ll let me, I will.

  I back us down the hall, gripping her hips to guide her. She follows me, her eyes closed as she kisses my lips. Then her hands travel down my shoulders and my arms to the buttons of my shirt. One by one, she undoes them until we’re in her bathroom, where she’s going to wash away the sadness from the weekend in the shower. With me.

  I turn her shower on, adjusting the knob until the temperature will be just right. Once I’m back to her, she pulls my shirt down my arms and swiftly unhooks my bra. The straps fall off my shoulders, and I shrug it off so it drops to the ground between us, joining my shirt. Her hands fly to my breasts like she’s never seen them before. Or anyone else’s besides her own. Perhaps she hasn’t, but that doesn’t stop me loving the appreciation she seems to have for them.

  When she looks up at me through her thick eyelashes, curiosity shines from her eyes. I give her a barely perceptible nod so she feels comfortable to do whatever she wants. She slowly dips her head toward my chest, and upon reaching it, she reaches her tongue out and swipes it over one of my nipples. To encourage her, I bring a hand to the back of her head and moan. Then she latches on and sucks and I moan some more.

  Her lips and her tongue on me are a dream come true. Everything about being with her is more amazing than I hoped it would be. Which makes it that much harder to have to walk away, but for now, I can’t help myself. Somehow, though, I pry her away so we can get her cleaned up.

  Her pout is absolutely adorable, but she doesn’t need to worry that this is over. I have every intention of seeing this through. But she has to get under the spray with me. Maybe this is an evil plan, but I hope to get so far under her skin, so deep inside her heart, that she’ll be willing to put everything on the line to be with me. I’ll always be here for her, and maybe, if she knows that, she’ll be less scared to fall.

  I feel the water, and the temperature is perfect. When I turn back to her, she’s right here. As I pull her pants down, I admire her thighs, her knees, and her calves—even with a few days’ worth of hair growth. No matter what, she’ll always be flawless to me. But she steps out of her pants, farther than she needs to, hiding one leg behind the other like she doesn’t want me to see her that way. So I grab her ankle and bring her closer, shaking my head.

  “You have nothing to be worried about with me,” I tell her as I rise to my full height.

  At that, her hands fly to my black work slacks. She undoes the clasp, lowers the zipper, and hooks her thumbs into my panties. Once they’re on the floor, she takes her time coming back up my legs. I bite my lip when she pauses near my pussy, rubbing it lightly with the pads of her thumbs. That’s more than I can take though.

  “Let’s get you cleaned up, dirty girl,” I say, lifting her by her elbows.

  Again, she pouts. “But you said—”

  “I know what I said, Zed. But, if we don’t get in the shower now, we never will.” I give her my best sexy smirk to drive the point home. Then I run a hand through her red locks. “And someone I know desperately needs to wash her hair.”

  Luckily, she laughs before peeling the shower curtain back so we can step inside the tub. “Okay, bossy.” Her smile lights my heart up as she passes me to get under the spray.

  Rolling my eyes, I spin around to join her and grin. That’s my girl. No worries, just us being together.

  When I get in there with her, she’s already drenched. Her eyes close as she soaks her red hair, and water splashes and drips all down her gorgeous body. God, if I thought she was amazing normally, wet-in-the-shower Zo takes my breath away and stops my heart. And makes my jaw fall wide open if the way she has to close it for me is anything to go by.

  I blink a few times to focus again and snatch her hand from under my chin. As I press a kiss to it, she blushes and pivots to turn away. But I hold her still.

  “Don’t. Don’t be shy with me. No worries, remember?” I plead with her.

  She faces me again and nods. “It’s still strange, but it also feels so…”

  “So what?” I ask, tucking some hair behind her ear.

  “So…” After a deep breath, she rushes out with, “So right.”

  Yes. She’s one hundred percent correct. Everything feels right with when we’re together. Like right now. So I lean in and kiss her sweet lips to seal this moment in my memory. Then I reach for her shampoo, squeeze some onto my palm, and lather it up.

  As I wash her hair, her eyes flutter closed and she relaxes. Her shoulders fall—along with a small moan out of her mouth. I massage her scalp with my fingers, watching her loosen up more with every passing second. Once her hair is lathered, I guide her head back into the spray and help her rinse the suds out. When that’s done, I locate the bottle of conditioner and work that i
nto her hair next.

  “God, that feels good,” she groans as I coat her hair.

  “You know what feels even better?” I say just inches from her face.

  Her eyes pop open, and then she purses her lips to the right side of her face. “Well, you grabbed the deep conditioner that needs to sit for a while…”

  A slow, naughty smile spreads across my face, and then hers follows. So I drop to my knees, intending to show her exactly what feels better than a head massage. Granted, I’ve had practice with this. I haven’t limited myself when it comes to sexuality just because the woman I love hasn’t been available to me. But she’s hands down the absolute only one I’ve wanted to do this to. And, after one swipe of my tongue, I know why. She tastes and smells like sweet heaven and pleasurable hell all wrapped up in one. One taste and I’m already a junkie for her. Just like I thought I would be.

  I grip her hips to keep us both steady as I lick between her folds and find her clit. When I hit it, her thigh muscles jump. She lets her head fall back, but her hair ends up in the water, so I turn her until her back is against the wall. Then I raise one of her legs so her foot rests on the lip of the tub and I can see and taste more of her.

  From her opening to her clit, I lick. Then I flick her clit over and over with the stiff tip of my tongue. As the pleasure increases for her, her hand goes into my hair, where she presses me closer to her core. I look up at her to get a good eyeful of how gorgeous she is in the throes of passion and I’m nearly brought to tears. But this isn’t about me and how much I love this woman right now. This is about her and how good I can make her feel. Because, if I make her feel better than anyone’s ever made her feel, I can somehow win this. Win her.

  Her head is thrown back and tilted to the side. Her eyes are closed. A small smile builds on her lips, and her tongue is peeking out of her mouth as she bites it. Then her moans become high-pitched pants and her thighs quiver with her impending release. I decide to take a risk and add a finger to the party, sliding it around the rim of her opening. And that does it. A few circles there and a few more clit nibbles and she’s falling apart against my mouth.

  With one hand still in my hair, she reaches the other out to the wall next to her, trying to steady herself. So I hold her tighter in my grasp and lazily lick her as she rides her release out. Right until the final twitch and quiver, when she relaxes against the wall and attempts to catch her breath.

  As I rise, she lets my hair go, but her hand slides over my shoulder and then down my breast, where she gently squeezes me as though to remember I’m not some man she’s with. It’s me. Her best friend. The woman who loves her. And, for a moment, I’m worried she’s forgotten, but when she opens her eyes, she smiles. Leans forward, wraps her arms around my neck, and kisses me.

  Her lips stroke mine as she releases a deep sigh and whispers, “That did feel even better.”

  That confirmation combined with the way our nipples brush together has electric lust shooting through my veins. The only thing I want to do is ravish her, make her come a million more times just like that. Pushing her before she’s ready, though, won’t do either of us any good. And I don’t even know if she’ll ever be ready, but that would send her over the edge. One step at a time.

  So I kiss her back and say, “I told you.” Then I wink and guide her back to the water to finish rinsing her hair. And hope like hell she’ll let me do that again. And again. For, perhaps, the rest of our lives.

  ***

  Zo

  It took everything I had to towel off, get dressed, and leave for work. Everything I had not to drop the towel, get in bed, and let Patti do that stuff with her tongue again. My goodness, that was the best thing that’s ever happened to me in that shower. And I’ll be damned if that never happens again. I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around how to make that happen again without hurting the people I love the most. Besides Patti, of course.

  Patti. My best friend. Who’s now seen me naked, made me come twice, and had her tongue in places no one’s ever had their tongue. It should be weird. I’ve known her forever, but that what makes it easier with her. That’s part of why I like her so much. We work so well together. We get along great. And I’ve said and done some really mean, stupid stuff. But she’s still here. Still pursuing this. Still giving me the time of day when I don’t deserve it. When we both know how this is going to end.

  We’ve let it sit since that day at my house. It’s now Thursday, and I’m trying to get ready to go out with my girls for the night. But I’ll see Patti, so I’m having a hard time picking out what to wear. Normally, I’d call her for this kind of thing. Obviously, there’s nothing normal about our situation, so I’m not calling her. I entertain the idea of calling Shiree or Lyra, but doing that would raise questions I don’t want to deal with. I finally settle on a dress shorter than normal and hope she notices.

  “Nice dress,” she whispers in my ear the second we’re alone enough for her to say that kind of thing to me.

  Immediately, my skin flushes red hot. Yes, my actions have received the desired outcome, but I didn’t think she’d be so bold as to tell me while we’re out with the girls. We’ve been trying to pry information from Shiree all night, so we haven’t had a moment to ourselves. But she’s currently headed for the door, so Patti jumped on the opportunity. I, however, need to focus on my friend.

  “Shiree! Where are you going?” I shout to her back.

  Once we’re all outside Lyra’s car, she slightly slurs during her explanation. “We don’t have to go anywhere, but if I’m going to tell you everything, then we can’t be in the bar. No one can hear me. So get in.”

  The first one to move is Patti. She gets into the back seat, and I join her back there so Lyra can be behind the wheel of her own car. Once we’ve heard the whole tale about a fake-but-not-really-fake engagement, their definitely real relationship, and more details about their sex life than any of us needed, we decide to go back to Lyra’s house to mellow the night out and spend some girl time together.

  Together, Patti and I nod and say, “Sounds like a plan!” Then we look at each other.

  She’s raising her eyebrow at me. Just one. It telegraphs a “way to keep avoiding me” message, because she understood how I said what we said. Whereas I am barely peeking at her because I know why she said it too.

  While she simply wants to be there for her friend, I’m using this as an excuse to avoid. Avoidance is the name of my game right now. And I’ll take this opportunity and run with it. I don’t even know why, exactly. Because I wanted Patti to notice my dress, but I still don’t want to face what’s happening with us. Facing it makes it real, and I’ll worry less if it’s not so real in my head right now.

  The other two ignore the whole thing and plow on. Then Patti and I agree to go to her fake-but-real engagement party tomorrow. She’s our great friend, and she deserves our presence, even if it means missing Friday dinner. My parents will understand this. Though they won’t understand other things about me, they’ll get this just fine.

  At Lyra’s apartment, we have some wine. I don’t dare drink too much. Lips get loose when too much alcohol is involved. But Patti, in true Patti form, doesn’t seem too concerned. I have to step in, though, when we’re trading stories and too much information almost leaves her mouth.

  “Oh yeah!” she says, her wine sloshing around in her cup. “There was this time when I told this girl I loved her and she kissed me like—”

  “I’m ready for bed!” I say way too loudly to cut her off.

  “Wait!” Shiree whines at me. To Patti, she conspiratorially asks, “You love someone?”

  “Tell us more!” Lyra exclaims, waving her just-painted nails in the air to dry.

  To stop her from saying anything else, I grab her by her shirt and lie through my teeth. “We have early days tomorrow, don’t we? I have to get to the office at eight. What time do you need to be at work?”

  “You have tomorrow off—” she starts.

&nb
sp; “No! I think…” Oh crap. Think! “I think we need to check my schedule again. And we should probably all go to sleep.” I stand up, dragging Patti with me. “Goodnight!” Then I rush us off to Lyra’s spare bedroom.

  There, Patti rounds on me. “Oh, lighten up, Zed. I wasn’t going to tell them anything.”

  “I don’t care what you were or weren’t going to tell them,” I tell her, my heart pounding and my blood rushing around my body so fast that I think I might pass out. “You’re drunk and don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “I don’t know what I’m saying?” she spits out. “I don’t know that I told you how I feel about you? I don’t know that you kissed me like it made your damn life? I don’t know that I had my tongue in your—”

  “Enough!” I whisper-shout to get her to stop. Mostly because her words are turning me on, and that’s the last thing I need right now. “I know you know, okay? We both know!”

  “Then what the fuck?” With a hand on her hip, she pops an eyebrow up.

  “You know what,” is all I say as I avoid eye contact.

  “No. No, I don’t know what.” She throws some pillows off the bed. “And I’m tired of not knowing. I’m tired of pretending like something major isn’t happening here.”

  I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Seriously. We’re not doing this while you’re drunk again.”

  “While I’m ‘drunk again,’” she says, using air quotes, “is the only time I’m going to feel like I can call the shots. Take your dress off and get in bed.”

  “That’s so not a good id—”

  She crosses her arms over her chest. “Do you trust me?”

  I drop my shoulders. She knows the answer to that. I always will.

  Her gaze pointedly flicks to my body and then the bed. Even though I huff a breath out, I follow her command. We’re at our friend’s apartment; she won’t do anything crazy here. Not when I’m still so unsure and we’re not alone. So I surrender and unzip my dress before getting under the covers. Once she’s undressed too, she turns the light off and joins me moments later.