The Sound of Shooting Stars

by Heather Allen

  “It’s, um, it’s your mom. She complained to someone, I don’t know how it all works, but they are threatening to remove him from our house because your mom has a problem with him being around you.”

  Her frown deepens as she shakes her head, “No, my mom wouldn’t do that. I don’t think you know what you’re talking about, Beckett. She knows it’s been really good for me, seeing Jamie again.”

  Frustration takes hold of me. I wasn’t prepared for her denial. More words rush from my mouth, “Samantha, it’s true. His case worker was at our house this morning threatening to take him away.”

  “But I don’t understand. Why should anything my mom says, have anything to do with where he lives?”

  “I don’t think it normally would but he lived with you for a long time. They say it’s in his best interest not to have contact.”

  Fear takes a hold of her features as what I’m saying registers.

  “He can’t have contact? As in I can’t talk to my best friend anymore?”

  I look away ashamed that I was feeling so sorry for myself. What I did will tear her apart if I confess after dropping this bomb on her.

  “Samantha I’m sorry.” I look up with as much hope as I can muster and explain, “I came over here to tell you this and ask if you think there is any way you can talk to your mom. Maybe if she recants her complaints he will be able to stay.”

  She stares at the pale white rug covering the dark wood floor underneath.

  “I don’t know. This morning when Jamie came over, she was weird. This explains it. Actually Jamie acted odd too.”

  “Jamie was here this morning? Why?”

  A small smile plays over her lips, “He came over to bring me my car but I think he wanted to tell me about you.”

  My eyebrows raise in surprise.

  “He really likes you Beckett.”

  My heart falls at her words. It should be soaring but instead my secret is killing me. He will hate me when I tell them what I did.

  I stand abruptly and mutter closing the distance to the door, “I um, I have to go. Please talk to your mom.”

  I don’t wait for a reply. Instead my feet move as quickly as they can down the broad stairs and out the front door. If I stay any longer I’m liable to confess every detail of what I did.

  When I get home Jamie is sitting on the front porch waiting. I can tell his nerves are shot. He looks completely broken. I hesitate getting out of the car but he doesn’t waste time. He opens the driver’s side door looking at me miserably. My face must mirror his because he asks, “Was it that bad?’

  I shake my head and look up at him in silence. His dark hair is still damp and messy. The set line of his jaw makes him look so serious most of the time. But his eyes still blaze with life, just like the stars in the night. They twinkle and shine regardless of the type of night. And on occasion the clouds still can’t mask them. Jamie’s eyes are like that. They won’t ever stop shining.

  “It wasn’t as bad as you think. Samantha is in shock just like we were.”

  “I should call her to make sure she is okay.” He pulls his phone out and starts thumbing the buttons. I hop out of the car and place my hand over his phone.

  “Jamie, her mom is going to expect you to call her. It won’t help your case. Can you just wait a little while until we hear from my dad?”

  He turns the phone off and looks down at me. His stare makes me squirm forcing me to take a step away. I look out to the water and notice the dark clouds rolling in from the west. When I turn back to him he is still staring at me. A smile spreads over my lips.

  “Beckett, I don’t want to lose you or Sam.”

  I look away because of the guilt weighing down on my chest. I can’t tell him now. It will have to wait until we get through this thing with Michelle. I can’t add to his pain.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Jamie Grey

  Scutum – The Shield

  Hevelius, who created the constellation in 1684, named Scutum or Shield of Sobieski, to commemorate Kingm John III Sobieski’s victory in the Battle of Vienna in 1683.

  ~*~

  Beckett arrived back from Sam’s house not in the way I had hoped. She looked defeated as if it is hopeless. I’m beginning to feel that it just might be. But she assured me that Sam will try and talk to her mom. I doubt it will have any effect. Elizabeth can’t be swayed easily once she’s made a decision. When she decided to send me back into the system she told Sam and I a few days before I had to leave. There were yelling and screaming fights between Sam and her mom. They didn’t seem to have even a slight effect on Elizabeth.

  Beckett does something to me and now that I’ve acknowledged my feelings for her I can’t seem to stop some of the things that come out of my mouth. Luckily she hasn’t been scared away yet. I meant it when I told her I can’t lose her or Sam. Not talking to Sam this week is going to kill me.

  Beckett shifts and tells me, “Hey, I need to go and get some homework done, will you be alright?”

  I nod and watch as she walks up the steps and disappears into the house. I forgot to ask her about the text that was sent to Sam but right now it’s not important. Instead of going into the house I make my way to the back porch and undress to my baggies. I dive into the cool water refreshed by the rain. My body savors the feel of the water as I slide in and out across the length of the pool. It feels good to let the exercise loosen the tension that has settled. I hope David can find a way for me to stay. If not, I’m not sure what I’ll do. Michelle has relished in reminding me over the years that after all I’ve been through, all the homes and people, that I’m still so even tempered and not full of problems like so many others in my situation. I chalk it up to not caring. If you care too much, when it’s taken away you react. I now understand why so many other foster kids have problems. They want to fight for what they care about. This time I’m not going without a fight.

  ***

  My alarm rings with the rising of the sun. I lay staring up at the bare ceiling. If I do get to stay I will have to remedy that ceiling. I’ll have to get Beckett’s stars and put some constellations up there. Beckett. I didn’t see her again yesterday after we parted on the porch. She stayed in her room for the remainder of the day even telling Marla that she had a bad headache and wouldn’t be down for dinner. Maybe she took Sasha’s warning seriously, which is probably the best for both of us.

  Once I’m dressed in khakis and a white button down shirt, I step out into the hall. It’s dark and silent. I cross the distance to her door which is still closed. I linger there wondering if I should knock but decide to go on to the kitchen. I realized this morning that we will have to ride to school together. Sam can’t come and get me today.

  I slide into the chair at the rounded table in the corner. Sasha comes over and asks, “Hey you, how are you holding up?”

  Her grey hair is in a tight bun at the crown of her head which pulls at her face making the wrinkles at her eyes more pronounced.

  “I’m alright, I guess.”

  “Good, how about some waffles today?”

  “Um, just cereal would be good.”

  “Sure, coming right up”

  Once I’ve shoveled in my first bite Beckett enters the kitchen seemingly apprehensive. I frown at her shy expression. She scoots into the chair across from me and refuses to make eye contact. I look over at Sasha who is busy at the sink with her back to us and lean in asking, “Hey you, is everything alright?”

  I grab her hand resting on the table to make sure I have her attention. She meets my stare and looks away as if she’s ashamed. Okay, this is a new Beckett.

  Her hand slides from my grasp as she answers still not meeting my eyes, “Yes, everything is, fine.”

  I’m definitely not convinced but if she won’t open up to me I can’t make her. Instead I ask, ”Can you give me a ride to school?”

  She looks up surprised and realization hits her soothing her features. She nods as Sasha places cinnamon toast in fron
t of her. A smile forms on my lips and I comment, “Cinnamon toast, really?”

  She looks away and mutters under her breath, “Yes, it’s my favorite.”

  At the mention of that I suddenly want to know all of her favorite things and what makes her happy. I’m at a loss though and she seems unfazed at my stare boring into her.

  When I finish eating and stand, my hand lingers on her shoulder. She flinches at my touch. A frown creases my brow at her sudden mood change. Instead of saying anything I make my way upstairs to brush my teeth. This is the Beckett I was afraid of encountering yesterday after we kissed. I didn’t expect it today.

  When I cross the threshold onto the front porch she is already in the car waiting. I open the door to music blasting from the speakers. I reach to turn it down but her hand halts mine. She doesn’t look at me but explains unconvincingly as she guides us out the drive, “Don’t, I like this song.”

  I glance at the dash to the name of the song I don’t recognize,’ High Road’ by The Cults. Sinking back into the seat I close my eyes knowing that she isn’t going to talk to me and I have no idea why. Great. I can’t speak to Sam at school and now Beckett has shunned me for whatever reason.

  The lack of communication is killing me. If the drive would have been any longer, I would have demanded that she talk to me but as soon as I’ve about had it with the silent treatment we are pulling into the parking lot. I open the door and climb out as soon as she puts the car into park. My eyes betray me and look back to the car. She’s sitting still with her hands on the steering wheel as if gathering strength for something. I shake my head and head to class. She fucking makes me crazy.

  I’m halfway across the lot when I hear my name called out in a frantic voice. I turn to find a panicked look on Beckett’s face. She is looking at me across the roof of her car. She mouths the words, “I’m sorry.”

  I shake my head, push my hands in my pockets and walk toward the building. As soon as I enter the hall it’s as if all hell has broken loose. People are leaning against their lockers talking and looking in my direction. As I scan their faces, my eyes land on Sam on the other side of the hall. Her face is a mess with tears running down her cheeks. Most of the chatter as I force my feet forward contain the words Samantha, Jake, sleeping with, and Dani. It becomes clear to me in that moment that something has gone down involving Sam. Of course she couldn’t call me because of Elizabeth. Instead of walking straight to class I aim for Sam.

  She looks up as I approach. She flings herself into my arms causing my backpack to fall from my shoulder. Her sobbing picks up and she starts mumbling incomprehensible words into my shoulder. I turn to look around at the stares in our direction and call out to no one in particular, “What the hell? The drama is over.”

  This seems to make most of them look elsewhere or maybe it’s the fact that Beckett is walking down the hall on the arm of Brett. Their attention is diverted from us. My heart lurches in my chest. I didn’t think she would really go through with this shit, especially after what happened over the weekend. Sam is still whimpering in my arms but her breath catches as she spies Beckett when she and Brett pass us. The look on Beckett’s face as I meet her gaze is worried. I look away. I’m not up for this junk. She’s apparently made her choice and as I look down at Sam, so have I. Maybe leaving Beckett’s house will be the right thing for me.

  Sam pulls away and grabs my hand leading me back out the doors of the school. Her swollen eyes glance back as she explains, “I can’t face this today. Are you up for a day at the beach?”

  That’s the best news I’ve heard in a while.

  “Hell yeah.”

  When we slide into her mini I ask, “What happened?”

  “Let’s get to the beach and I’ll tell you. I think we have a lot to talk about.” There is no doubt in my mind that she is right.

  When she pulls into a space she reaches to the back seat and grabs a pair of baggies and throws them at me.

  “These were Jake’s; he won’t be getting them back.”

  I nod in acknowledgement and get out using the door to shield my strip down. She loads the meter as I turn to the beach. The sun is just peeking out of the clouds silhouetting the rays along the sparkling water. Sam comes around the car in a pair of shorts topped with her bikini and a tank top. She pulls me down to the sand and lays into me, “What the hell is going on Jamie? Is what Beckett came over to tell me yesterday, true?”

  My heart falls. If she’s asking me this that means she didn’t talk to her mom. I nod and ask anyway, “Did you talk to your mom?”

  She shakes her head absently, “I was going to but then I got online. I was distracted.”

  Tears start falling again. I reach over and grab her hand.

  “What happened?”

  “Someone posted a video.” Her voice cracks, “It was Jake with Dani, they were having sex.”

  My breath stops as realization hits me. I want to hit something or someone. My fists clench in anger and I’m at a loss for words. Then Beckett flashes through my head. I wonder if she knew.

  “I’m so sorry Sam.”

  She shakes her head and rests her chin on her knees.

  “I’m glad we were already broken up when the video came out but it still hurts.”

  I rub her back as she quietly weeps in her hands.

  The warmth of the rising sun increases as does the incredible view. The waves are only two feet rolling in smoothly.

  She looks up after a while and asks, “Jamie, I’m so sorry about my mom. I will talk to her but what if…what if she won’t change her mind? What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know Sam but I do know one thing, not even your mom can keep me from my best friend.”

  This brings a smile to her lips. But concern etches itself across her face and she acts hurriedly, “What about Beckett? Why was she with Brett?”

  I shrug and reply looking at her intently, “We all make our choices. I guess Beckett has made hers.”

  “Jamie, do you remember your obsession over the stars? You and Dad used to come to the beach and gaze up at them for hours. I thought you were crazy searching for something so far away, out of your reach.”

  I nod remembering the last time Steve brought me to gaze at the constellations. It was a new moon, perfect for star gazing. We must have found ten different constellations that night.

  Her voice comes out strong, “You and Beckett, it’s one of those things you know ‘written in the stars’ things. It’s not out of your reach. Remember that when you make your choice.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Beckett Chase

  Sagitta – The Arrow

  Sagitta is the arrow Apollo used to kill the Cyclopes because they had made the thunderbolts of Zeus that killed Apollo’s son Asclepius, the famous healer.

  ~*~

  Like a sure arrow to the heart when my eyes met Jamie’s in the hall I saw the pain I inflicted all over his face. Sam was safely in his arms and for once I was jealous of her. I wished it was me in those arms but it was never meant to be.

  I accepted my fate yesterday knowing that it is impossible to stop time or the damage my planning was going to do. Cara is the only person in on my plan. I promised I’d bring her right along with me to the top, if she helped. So the emails to Dani and Jake came from an unknown sender but they both fell for it anyway. In hindsight now that Trina revealed Dani’s part in my virginity loss, I think Jake and Dani had a thing going long before this but it was never for all the public to see. That is where my brilliant mind came in. Well not so brilliant anymore. Now I just feel rotten for coming up with it. Cara filmed the event and posted it for all to see. When I saw them at Gabe’s it made it all too real and how they screwed with Sam. I felt sure at that moment that it was the right thing but then Jamie kissed me and changed everything. Now if I could take it back, I would. I’d go back to the bottom if I could be with him forever. But we can’t change our actions and the consequences often suck.

&nb
sp; Brett guides me to my first class and kisses me before letting me go. His part in this has got to be short lived. Luckily he knows where I stand. I’m not so sure he will be so willing to end it though. I skirt into class up to the desk next to Cara’s. She looks over, a slow smile on her lips and glances forward. I look back to the rest of the class and notice Trina is missing. Imagine that. In my defense, payback is hell. I’m sorry I did it to everyone but Dani. Of course Trina skipped with her.

  The day drones on. When English rolls around Sam and Jamie are missing making me feel even more miserable. After an uneventful hour I make my way to the cafeteria, redemption time. This is the moment of truth. Brett is waiting at the middle table and ushers me next to him when I enter. They all treat me as if I was never gone. Even Rachel, Jackson, and Brandon make normal conversation with me. I’ll give it to Brett. He did keep his word. As I glance across the room at the empty table in the corner my heart hurts. As much as I wanted this, it doesn’t feel right.

  ***

  After school I notice a tall figure standing by my car when I push through the doors. Brett is following me out. I immediately turn and push him back into the building, “Hey, I forgot something in my locker.” He smirks and walks the length of the hall behind me. It’s nearly deserted. At my locker he gently pushes my back against the metal wall and leans in whispering, “So when do I get the goods?”

  If I hadn’t already seen his anger he would have earned a slap. Instead I squirm out of his reach and tell him firmly, “Remember, we had a deal and it didn’t include sex.”

  A sucked in breathless laugh sounds on the other end of the hall. I look over knowing that sound. Dani is standing at her locker with her backpack slung over her shoulder. She maneuvers up to us glancing first at Brett and back to me. She comes forward forcing my back against the lockers once again and sneers, “Beckett Chase you just declared war.”

  I step forward squaring my shoulders ready to throw a punch if I need to even though I’ve never hit anyone before. She shuffles back and chuckles looking to Brett, “I wouldn’t waste my time if I were you. She’ll never give it up.”