Sean

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  “I’m still that person, just slightly worse for wear at the moment.”

  “Look, I understand if you want to find someplace else. I understand the need to run away from it all, but you talk to me. I understand exactly what you’re going through.”

  “I know you do. I just didn’t want any big goodbye’s.”

  “No, you just assumed that I wouldn’t care enough anymore. You think that because I’m married now with kids that I don’t value our friendship anymore.”

  I didn’t say anything because part of me really did feel that way.

  “You don’t get to just walk away. You’re my best friend and no amount of mistakes could make me not want you in my life.”

  She pulled me in for a hug that lasted way too long. We both cried for a good fifteen minutes while Sinner stood around uncomfortably.

  After many promises to call when I got settled and her promising to come visit, she finally left and I helped Sinner load up the boxes into the truck that Sebastian had sent over. A few of the guys from Reed Security came over to help load up the remaining boxes and the furniture. Sinner and I would be taking a road trip across the country and I was looking forward to the fresh start.

  I looked around the apartment that I had called home for the past ten years. There were so many memories here that I hated to leave. Most of them revolved around Cece and Sean. There was no way I could stay here where so much of my heart was. I shut off the light and walked down the stairs for the last time. It was time to start over. Maybe I’d even get a different kick ass name to go with my new life.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Lillian

  SEAN HAD BEEN back to work for a few weeks now, which left my days pretty open. I spent a lot of time around the house reading and lounging on my new living room furniture. I had to thank Harper for causing the mess because my furniture was so comfortable.

  I was feeling slightly bored now that Sean was no longer around to spend my days with, so I decided this morning to make lunch to take to the station later. When I walked in, several of the officers walked over and said hello. I had been to visit Sean several times at the police station and he had introduced me to some of his coworkers. I now knew that the men started salivating as soon as they smelled my cooking, so I made sure to bring enough food for the men that would be working during the day.

  “Hey, Lillian. What did you bring us today?” Officer Wheeling, the officer that had been shot when we were on our wild car chase with Carlos Ramirez, asked.

  “I brought Italian beef. I figured I needed to bring something to counteract the donuts.”

  “Here. Let me take that from you,” Chief Jameson said as he came running out of his office. He reached for the crock pot and practically yanked it out of my hands. One of the other officers grabbed the bag of hoagies I had picked up at the store. I did a head count and figured that if they didn’t go overboard, I should have enough to feed everyone.

  “There’s a jar of spicy pickles for Officer Oster,” I shouted to the man that had grabbed the bag.

  “How many times do I have to tell you to call me Bull?” Officer Tate Oster walked up and gave me a big hug. “Thank you for thinking of me, sweetie.”

  “Well, I didn’t want you to be left out.”

  “Sean, you’ve got one special lady here,” Bull said as Sean walked toward me.

  “Yeah, well don’t try anything. She’s all mine.” Sean wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in for a scorching kiss. I blushed when the men all started whooping and hollering.

  “Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?” I asked, trying to draw the attention away from him kissing me.

  “I can’t tonight. I have to get some hours in at the training facility.”

  “Oh.” I smiled to hide my disappointment. I had gotten so used to spending time with Sean that it was hard when he had a case to work or had paperwork to finish up.

  “If you want, you can come see if you can keep up with me.”

  “You want me to come train with you? Is that allowed?”

  “Sure,” the chief said as he walked up to us. You keep bringing us lunches like that and I’ll let you go train with Donnelly as much as you want.

  “Oh, I don’t want any special favors.”

  “Nonsense. This isn’t an official training session, so it’s fine,” the chief assured me with a smile.

  “I didn’t even know you had a training facility.”

  “Sebastian built one for his company and he rents it out to emergency services departments,” Sean said.

  “Oh. Okay. Well what time should I meet you?”

  “I’ll pick you up at five. Wear something to work out in.”

  “You got it, Detective,” I said with a wink.

  He pulled me into his arms and gave me another earth shattering kiss. “You can’t keep calling me detective if you want me to continue to be a gentleman. I’ll see you at five.”

  I left the station feeling dizzy after kissing Sean like that. He was definitely getting to me and I didn’t know how much longer I could hold back the fact that I was falling in love with him.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  “Okay, so what do you want to do? We can box, or there’s the training course, or-”

  “The training course!” I said, jumping up and down.

  “Alright. Let me walk you through it and then we can test your skills.” We walked over to the glass enclosure that overlooked the facility. “Okay, so we start with running the course to the climbing wall. Once you’re over that, you have to crawl under the netting through the mush pit. When you get out of that, you have to climb the rope and touch the top. You don’t get to move on until you’ve reached the top,” he said with a smirk. I nodded for him to continue. “Once you get back down, you pick up that paintball gun and go through the shooting course..”

  He continued to go through the details of the course, but I was stuck on the paintball gun. “Wait, what do you mean, shoot the paintball gun. I’ve never held a gun, let alone a paintball sized gun.”

  “It’s a handgun. It doesn’t hold as many rounds as a regular gun, so you have to be a good shot.”

  He continued to talk me through the course, but I was so excited to get started that I stopped listening.

  “Okay, enough explaining. Let’s go kick some donkey butt.”

  Sean just shook his head at me and smiled. “Okay, sparky. Let’s go down and get started. I was already ready to go. I had worn black leggings, a sports bra, and a t-shirt. Sean had to go change and I was more than a little distracted when he came out in black gym shorts and a grey tank top. Oh dear Lord, save me. I wanted to lick his body. I shook the thoughts from my head and stretched as he walked over to me.

  “You ready for this, Miss Daisy?”

  “You know, if I didn’t know better, I would think you were taunting me.”

  “Because Miss Daisy is a little old lady?”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’ll show you. You’re going to eat my dust.”

  Sean barked out a laugh and we headed for the starting line. Several other officers joined me and suddenly I was feeling like I was not going to come out of this on top. The bell rang and we all started off running. Determined to not end in last place, I pushed myself as hard as I could. When I got to the wall, all the other men were already climbing. I noticed that Sean was holding back some to keep pace with me. It was sweet that he wasn’t trying to show off for me.

  I started climbing and slipped several times as I tried to reach the top. The last time I slipped, I would have fallen, but Sean was there and grabbed my hand, pulling me the rest of the way up the wall.

  “Come on, Miss Daisy. You’re slowing me down.”

  “Ha! I’m going slower to make you look good for your friends!”

  “Don’t do me any favors, darlin’.”

  I pushed over the wall and slid down toward the mush pit. Sean was already on his belly crawling under the netting. I got down and start
ed belly crawling, only realizing after I got in that the mush pit was actually a big pit of mud. My arms started cramping from slipping and sliding in the mud and I had to take a break. I laid down in the mush pit, my face getting covered in sludge, but I didn’t care. I was already exhausted.

  “Come on, Lil. You’re falling behind.”

  I glanced up to see everyone had moved on. “I’m not even close to them. Just leave me here. I’ll crawl out when I can feel my arms again.”

  “Not a chance darlin’. I never leave a man behind.”

  He pulled on my arm and I reluctantly started crawling behind him. We finally made it out from the netting and I stood huffing and puffing in front of the rope. I wiped off as much of the mud as I could with a towel that Sean produced from a table on the side.

  “Come on. Everyone’s waiting on you.”

  I noticed then that all the men were waiting at the next course for Sean and I to climb the ropes. I huffed and jumped up on the rope, wrapping my legs around the rope and pulling myself up. By the time I was halfway up, Sean was on his way back down. I looked down and noticed Officer Wheeling waiting at the bottom of my rope, probably in case I fell.

  “You’re falling behind again. Supposably, you can keep up with less than the ten men here training.”

  I turned and glared at him. Now he was just egging me on. “You know that’s not the right way to say it, Sean.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  I huffed and growled as I pulled myself higher and higher. “You know..it’s pronounced..supposedly. Argh!” I reached the top and took a moment to catch my breath. My arms were shaking, but now that I was at the top, I had to pull myself together so I didn’t fall and break something.

  “What the hell is she talking about?” I heard Officer Wheeling ask.

  “I said supposably, but it’s really supposedly. It’s a common mistake that drives her crazy,” Sean stated.

  “Seriously?” Wheeling asked. “Supposedly. Supposably. I don’t see the difference,” he muttered to himself.

  I jumped down from the rope and panted out a few breaths. “Not only did you say supposably, but you also misused less incorrectly.” I said panting.

  “How did I use less incorrectly?” I hadn’t yet corrected him on this one, so I smiled as I caught my breath.

  “Less is used when you’re talking about things that aren’t quantifiable. Since you could easily count the number of men in the room, you should have used fewer. Also, you said here training, but you should have said training here, but it’s a common mistake.”

  “Have I entered some kind of alternate universe where correcting grammar is some kind of dirty foreplay?” Officer Wheeling asked.

  “Can we get this moving? This isn’t so much of a race anymore as an English lesson,” one of the officer’s bellowed.

  The other officers picked up their paintball guns and started going through the course. I ran over with Sean and he quickly showed me how to use the weapon. In my excitement, I didn’t really pay attention to what he said and just started pointing and shooting. When I heard the first yelp, I turned quickly, pulling the trigger as I did so. I ran through the course, half aiming at the targets and half hoping that I was pointing the gun where I should. I was having so much fun that I hardly noticed Sean waving to me. I waved back excitedly and continued through the course. The kickback from the gun was stronger than I expected and I found it was just easier to keep pulling the trigger instead of trying to aim again. When the bullets were all gone, I put my arms down and started walking back through the course.

  Officer Wheeling was on the ground in the fetal position with his hand over his groin. I knelt down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

  “Are you okay?”

  “You shot me in the nuts,” he groaned. My hands flew to my mouth in horror. I looked up to see several other men favoring some part of their bodies. One man was holding his shoulder. Another was his butt cheek, but the one that got me was Bull. He was lying on the ground holding his head. I ran over to him and saw that he had a big paintball splatter on the side of his head.

  “Holy rabbit ears! Did I do that to you?”

  “You’re lucky I have good reflexes. I moved just enough for it to be a glancing blow.”

  “I’m so sorry, Bull.”

  “You can make it up to me by bringing me brownies for the next week.”

  “I will. I’m so sorry.”

  “Lillian, I’m not sure what to do with you,” Sean said. “You took out half the police department without even trying. I’m not sure if I should make you an honorary member or ban you from the police station forever.”

  Officer Wheeling hobbled over, still holding his groin. “Don’t be insane, man. What’s a little shot to the nuts in exchange for her food?” He groaned as he said that last part and I had to laugh that he thought my food was worth the pain I had caused him.

  Sean walked me over to the locker rooms where the showers were and caged me in against the wall. My breath came out in little pants. This had become the new normal with me when I was around Sean. I constantly found myself wanting to touch him and kiss him, but I held back knowing that I couldn’t give him false hope for more.

  His lips brushed against mine in a soft kiss. He started spreading little kisses all along my jaw and down my neck. My eyes fluttered shut as I enjoyed the feel of his lips on my body. When I felt him move back, I opened my eyes to find him staring at me.

  “I don’t know how you did it, but you somehow got me and my brothers wrapped around your finger.”

  “My brothers and me.” I bit my lip, vowing that I would try less to correct his grammar. He just chuckled and ran his thumb over my lip. “They just like that I bring them food,” I laughed.

  “No,” he said seriously. “It’s you. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met and I’m lucky that you stuck with me after I fucked up.”

  My heart softened into a puddle of mush. I didn’t know how I ever thought Sean wasn’t the man for me. He was tough as nails on the outside, but when you got to know him, you really saw how big his heart was.

  “I’m the lucky one, Sean. You came into my life and showed me everything I was missing. I would probably be a cat lady by now if I hadn’t met you.”

  He seemed to want to say something else, but then he took a step back. “Go take a shower. I’ll be waiting for you out here.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Sean

  I WAS SO close to saying it. I wanted to so badly, but I just couldn’t get the words out. I was staring into her beautiful eyes, wanting to tell her I loved her, but thoughts of Vira crept in. I had said I loved her and not only had it turned out to be untrue, but she hadn’t said it back.

  Lillian wasn’t someone I could risk hurting like that. When I told her I loved her, I would know deep down in my soul that it was true. A part of me knew that she was the one I wanted for the rest of my life. I wanted to be the man that tasted her for the first time and gave her pleasure, but I needed to know for sure that my head was in the same place as my heart.

  I took her home after we were showered and walked her to the door. I knew I couldn’t stay tonight. I wanted her too badly and I couldn’t risk pressuring her into something I knew she didn’t want.

  “I was just going to get a pizza or something. Does that sound good to you?”

  “Actually, I need to get home. I have some stuff to take care of.”

  “Oh. For work?”

  “Yeah.”

  I was a shitty liar. She could see all over my face that I wasn’t being honest with her. A look of disappointment crossed her face and I couldn’t take it. I leaned in, my arms on either side of her head against the door.

  “I don’t have work to do, but I want you so bad and I need to leave before I ask you to do something you don’t want.” I pushed my raging cock against her stomach to let her know how serious I was. “I just don’t want you to think I don’
t want to be with you. I want to be with you too much, so I’m going to leave, but I’ll be thinking about you tonight.”

  I gave her a deep kiss before I turned and walked away. I didn’t miss the lust in her eyes and she took deep gulps of air. I got in my truck and headed home. I wasn’t two minutes down the road when Lillian called.

  “Miss me already, darlin’?”

  “Sean, you need to come back now.”

  Her tone was fearful and I quickly pulled a U turn and slammed on the gas to get back to her. “I’ll be there in a minute. Are you okay?”

  “Yes. I’m fine, but someone sent another message for you.”

  I pulled into her driveway and barely slammed into park before I bolted for her front door. Fury raced through me when I saw her living room. All her furniture had been slashed. Every lamp was broken and there was a note for me written on the wall in what I hoped was red paint.

  Back off or next time it’ll be her in pieces on the ground

  I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the house. We got in my truck and headed for the police station. I called the chief on my way and asked him to meet me at the station, then I asked dispatch to send a unit over to her house.

  When we reached the police station, I hauled her out of the truck and inside. Several of the guys must have heard what happened because they started pouring into the station and demanding to know what was going on. I told them all they’d have to wait until I spoke with the chief. When he arrived, I asked Bull to take care of Lillian and I followed the chief to his office.

  I glanced back at Lillian to see that she appeared to be okay. She hadn’t said anything since I picked her up and she didn’t appear flustered. I hoped that meant that she was holding it together well enough.

  “Chief, we have to figure this shit out. Her house was trashed.”

  “I heard. I’m calling an emergency meeting tomorrow. We’ll have Ramirez come down to the station and slip some false leads. Hopefully, we can catch Sawyer and Calloway in the act.”