Dangerous Games

by Selene Chardou

  I waited until he dropped off to sleep because I knew I would have never gotten away otherwise. Most of my clothes had been packed already but I only bothered to take my two wheeled suitcases and the Birkin bag. Everything else I left behind. As soon as the cab pulled up, I walked out and the driver helped me with my luggage while I slid into the back seat.

  I never turned around, not even as the cab pulled away and drove me directly to Boston Logan International Airport.

  “So, do you want to talk about it?”

  The smooth French accent belonged to Etienne, and I’d been back in L.A. for almost a week. Despite the numerous calls I received from Finn, I ignored every one of them, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know something was up between the two of us.

  My worries the first few days after I’d arrived back to my mother’s beach front house in the Pacific Palisades was any moment, I would get a personal message from an acquaintance about photos of me taken at a specific party in Boston but it never happened. In fact, Trevor had friended me on both Facebook and uConnect; after I accepted the requests, he’d personal messaged me that the photos would never get out as long as I could say the same about the photos I had. I assured him since we were from the same class, breeding and “stature” that I would never take advantage, and had hidden the photos where they could not be found. I managed to assure him they were no longer on my phone (though they were).

  I expected the calls from Finn and we both knew I wouldn’t answer them but he called constantly anyway and begged me to forgive him. I knew I would have to talk to him eventually but it didn’t have to be that week or even that month. I would make him stew for a bit so he could feel the bite of humiliation I’d felt for what he’d made me do that night.

  Etienne removed a white robe to show off a pair of swimming trunks and his toned physique. We were both outside by the pool but I sat in the shade and enjoyed the warm temps though they would never be hot per se, not this near the beach. While people in the Valley were roasting, we lay out in temps that barely grazed the mid-eighties.

  I sipped from a bottle of Evian. “No, I don’t think so. I came back and that’s all you need to know. You’re not my father so stop trying to act like you care about what’s going on in personal life at all.”

  “Merde.” He sat next to me on the lounger before he lay back. “What is it with you American girls? You’re twenty years old yet you have been stomping around here like my twelve-year-old niece. It’s very unbecoming and uncouth. You should have more dignity and self-worth.”

  Why did it take a thirty-year-old French model to make me ashamed of my behavior? Was I really that bad? Of course I’d been because when in Rome…and I’d definitely acted like the typical, wealthy “stupid girl” since I’d been back from Boston. I might as well have been a younger Paris clone with my outlandish behavior and childish actions.

  I needed to talk to Finn but I refused his calls because I could, and that made me feel even more embarrassed. My face heated up and I knew I had turned several shades of red since he’d spoken to me.

  I sat up, and studied my perfectly manicured nails. “Finn and I had a…disagreement before I left Boston. It was really bad, and I’m not ready to talk about that yet but I can’t speak to him either. I don’t want to be here—at least I didn’t want to come home but now I am glad my mother made me and…what do I say to her? She only cares about me, and I have treated her like shit for so long. It just seems like all I do is hurt people, and I am so sick and tired of feeling this way.”

  The tears came and I began to sob as Etienne moved from his position and immediately sat next to me. Our thighs loosely touched but there was nothing sexual about the situation what so ever.

  “How do you feel right now?” he inquired in that sexy accent of his but all I could hear was genuine warmth, and the thought he actually did care about my wellbeing.

  “Like a complete and utter failure. Everything I have set out to do always goes to…shit. I never follow through on anything, and I can see why Finn treated me the way he did because I guess I do act like a child. What could I expect from a man who wants a woman—not a fuckin’ kid?”

  “I wouldn’t be too hard on myself if I were you, chérie,” Etienne replied. “Obviously he did something very bad or you wouldn’t be ignoring him.”

  I dried my eyes and stared into my stepfather’s blue-green eyes. “How are you so sure?”

  He shrugged nonchalantly. “I do have eyes you know and I saw the way you two were in Boston. It’s obvious you love each other very much although…you’re young, and there will be many loves in your life. You are too young to settle down. I am sure you have played the field but…it is too much too soon. Athena told me about the baby, and the situation you two were placed in…perhaps there is too much hurt between you two. Maybe you are not meant to be together after all.”

  I finished my Evian before I placed the bottle on the glass table. “I never thought about it that way but perhaps you’re right. Who knows? I need to speak to him but it can’t be right now. I just need to put some distance between what happened in Boston and us…then I can talk to him.”

  Etienne stood suddenly and held out his arms. I grabbed a hold of his hands with my own and he helped me up. “I’ll make us a quick lunch and we can talk about it, eh?”

  I smiled and for the first time in over a week, it was actually genuine. “Sounds like a plan.”

  “Then come on, lazy bones, follow my lead.”

  I laughed out loud as we walked into the palatial estate that had once only belonged to my mother but now was his house too. I had a guesthouse on the estate although it was more like a guest apartment with two bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, bathroom and laundry room along with a mini garage for one vehicle but it was mine.

  I did not live in the main estate, and though I knew the code to disarm the alarm, it was pretty useless when I didn’t have a key to get in. My mom had made it perfectly clear I was a guest on her property and if I didn’t like it, I was free to leave but then that might also cost me my inheritance so I was careful not to make waves.

  It was simpler that way and with company like Etienne, staying at my mother’s pad had just gotten a whole lot easier.

  A simple lunch from Etienne turned out to be tilapia dipped in butter and breadcrumbs before being fried in olive oil, baby potatoes and simple garden salad with raspberry vinaigrette for garnish. Accompanied with an expensive bottle of a crisp Pinot Gris, it was the perfect meal.

  After the second bottle of wine was opened and I had finished my food with relish, my tongue began to loosen and out came the horrific story of what had happened that night at Trevor’s house. Etienne listened with an intensiveness I didn’t expect from someone who did something as brainless as model for a living. I wanted him to be shocked and disgusted with me but he seemed to feel none of these emotions and it genuinely surprised me.

  He leaned on the table and edged closer towards me. “Finbar is young, chérie, and to him, it seemed like the perfect way to show off this beautiful woman he has. Obviously, he went about it the wrong way but it is very hard when you come from an impoverished background, and you are thrust into the world of money. America is very different from Europe. You Yanks are a hell of a more classist than we ever are in Western Europe and the delineations do not mix. It can be very disconcerting.”

  “Surely you’re mistaken? Are you going to tell me that in Europe, the poor and the rich live side by side? I don’t believe it,” I replied in utter amazement.

  “Of course not. I am a middle-class boy after all; I grew up in Versailles and I attended very good public schools and managed to get into a very decent university. However, modeling beckoned and it paid better than attending classes. I have been very fortunate to have a career based upon my looks but I am not a young man anymore and I invested well. When my career is over, I will be taken care of quite well and money will never be an issue.”

  I sipped from my wi
ne and relished in the feeling of the nice buzz it gave me. Since I’d been back from Boston, I’d not touched one illegal substance and I planned to keep it that way.

  “How did you meet my mother?” I inquired as if it were the most natural question in the world.

  “I was in Montreal visiting a cousin of mine. She lives there, and I hadn’t been to Quebec in years. I was between jobs at the time and she was so excited to tell me she’d landed a part as an extra on an Athena Donahue movie. I knew who she was but when I saw her in person on the set, it was like a thunderbolt hit my heart. She was so beautiful and classically poised. I had to meet her so…I just walked right up, and introduced myself.”

  Etienne smiled and there was a genuine twinkle in his eyes as he continued, “We hit it off immediately and I just knew she was the one. I didn’t plan to fall for a woman who is old enough to be my mother but your mother is gorgeous and fascinating. It never occurred to me I was giving up anything to be with her and although I admit I have had to make some sacrifices, if I had to do it all over again, the outcome would most definitely be the same.”

  I leaned in closer to him. “What do you mean when you say you have had to make sacrifices?”

  He stood quickly and began to clear our dishes off the table as if to purposely put some distance between the two of us. “I always wanted children. Not a houseful but perhaps one or two. Athena is going through menopause and although she could have one, she can’t since she had a tubal-ligation that cannot be reversed. She has no wish to adopt so it looks like there won’t be any kids in my future. I’ve accepted that because being with your mother is worth it. I wouldn’t trade her for all the money in the world.”

  “Don’t you think that is a bit selfish of her? You two could get a surrogate—she can afford to give up a few eggs so you two can have someone that binds you two permanently.”

  I sighed out loud “Personally, I think she should be honored to adopt a child with you if she isn’t willing to do IVF. It’s not like she’s ever changed a single diaper in her life. I lived with my grandparents until I was eight so she’s never had to deal with infants or toddlers before. She and my father stepped in after the hard part was over. Why do you think I was in Boston to begin with? I don’t know her or my dad. They were just egg and sperm donors but it was my maternal grandparents who I feel are truly my real mom and dad.”

  Etienne carefully loaded the dishwasher before he looked back at me. “Do you honestly believe that? When we spoke of you while we were dating, she has a lot of regrets about not being there for you. Believe me when I tell you her behavior was not intentional. She had to deal with fame and your father didn’t want to share his part of the responsibility. Giving you up to her parents was the single hardest thing she’s ever had to do in her life.”

  Nice try, Mom, I thought, but no cigar. Kudos on the lying front but then again, you were always a consummate actress who could easily hold your own with the likes of Susan Sarandon and Meryl Streep.

  I cocked my head to the side. “Is that what she told you? The whole eight years I lived with my grandparents, I saw my mother a total of four times. The first two I can’t remember because I was too young, the third happened when I was six and the last time happened when she came to ‘claim’ me. She’d married my father and they’d decided it was time I should live with them in the ‘lap of luxury’ as she phrased it.”

  My stepfather turned toward me and his blue-green eyes seemed conflicted. “I can see you are still very bitter and believe me, I can understand your attitude. However, you’re all grown up now, and what ever you have failed to do in life can no longer be blamed on your parents.”

  For some reason his attitude rankled me. I didn’t need some stranger making me feel bad about how I felt about my own mother. He barely knew her and although they had married one another, spending more than a few times between the sheets with someone did not make one suddenly all aware of the person they decided to share a little intimate time.

  If anyone knew this, it was me. I thought I knew Finn but I never would have imagined he would put me in the position he had and it still pissed me off to no end I’d gone along with it. I knew I was stronger than that, and I’d caved like a paper doll. I don’t think the decision I made that night in Boston would ever escape my psyche, and it was all but impossible to forget.

  I stood suddenly, aware of my half naked appearance in a bikini I’d not swam in and nothing else.

  “I need to go shower and change. Monika and I are supposed to meet up this afternoon,” I lied before I stood and began to walk out of the dining room.

  “Well, if you feel up to it, we could have dinner tonight,” Etienne remarked.

  I stopped in my tracks. I didn’t like how he had begun to manipulate me into monopolizing most of my time. If I felt like spending time with him then I would but it certainly wouldn’t be because he thought it was impertinent for him to watch my every move.

  It made me feel like I was being spied on, and that was not something I enjoyed. I was my own person, used to taking care of myself and I didn’t need him in my life. He needed female company; my mother would be home in a matter of days so he would have to wait until she arrived. He was the center of her universe, not mine.

  Finally, I said, “I will think about it, and let you know.”

  Etienne didn’t speak and I wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to try to change my mind before I left quickly and walked to my own guesthouse.

  I opened the door at the same time the phone began to ring. In my haste to answer, I didn’t check the Caller ID and merely said, “Hello?”

  “I have been trying to reach you since your disappearing act. What the hell happened to you?” a male voice inquired.

  Finn.

  Shit, I didn’t feel like taking to him or justifying myself. The memories were still too fresh in my mind for me to make sense of them. I needed to get him off the phone as quickly as possible.

  “Why are you calling me and what do you want? Did you expect me to stick around after you treated me like a crack-addicted strawberry at Trevor’s house? How could you have done that to me and think everything between us would be okay?” I implored on the other end in a raised voice.

  I didn’t care if I was almost yelling down the telephone. He deserved my anger and my frustration. My humiliation and the embarrassment that situation had caused for me.

  “Listen, Evie, I was stupid and I’m sorry. I should have never subjected you to that, not for five thousand and not even for one hundred thousand. If I could, I would be there in a heartbeat to tell you in person but I know you don’t want to see me—”

  “You’re too damned right because I don’t and I wouldn’t see you for all the money in the world. I am the mother of your child—granted he’s not being raised by us—and how dare you humiliate the way you did when you said you loved me? Is that how you prove it? By making me do hideous and degrading acts like sucking you off in front of a bunch of kids whose parents’ run in the same circle as my own?”

  “Listen, the world of the wealthy and infamous is not one I’m comfortable in and yeah, I did want to prove to those self-righteous assholes they were no better than me. I used you to do it, and I can’t say how sorry I am enough. I knew you were going to leave but I thought you would at least explain your feelings to me in a note or a text. I haven’t heard a word from you, and I didn’t know whether you were dead or alive,” he explained in a calm and soothing voice.

  “It doesn’t take very long to find out I got back to L.A. safe and sound so leave off the useless remarks. I really don’t know if there will ever be a you and me again so don’t bother calling. If and when I decide to forgive you, I’ll call you.”

  “I’m not a fool, Evie. You’re in self-destruct mode and when that happens, all you do is hurt people around you. Don’t you dare bring Etienne into this because I know you will. In fact, you’ll use what happened between us to justify you fucking him. Don’t think I do
n’t know what you plan to do because it has been in the back of your mind from the beginning.”

  I couldn’t say anything in regards to his last comment. He knew me too well because it had been in the back of my mind to see if I could seduce my stepfather but only because I had a feeling he was using my mother. She was extremely business savvy but when it came to men she always made the wrong decisions. My father and Etienne were the only mistakes she’d bothered to marry but that didn’t mean she was hip to men, and how they saw the world.

  Unfortunately, I knew her husband was mine to have, and that made me sad. I wanted to believe in happy ever after and that he loved my mother because she truly was a woman he wanted to devote his time, life, and fidelity. However, beneath the smooth French charm was a calculating con artist who had finagled his way into my mother’s life, and I saw nothing but tragedy and doom in the future. There would be no happy ending and my mother would end up alone and out of a shit load of money because she’d made it clear they hadn’t signed a prenuptial agreement.

  “What I decide to do and who I sleep with really isn’t any of your business, Finn. We’re through. I am breaking it off with you so I am a free agent—”

  “You have no idea how much that hurts my heart to hear you say something like that but Etienne is married to your mother. I would expect more from you than some sleazy affair with your stepfather. It’s such a fucking cliché, Evie.”

  “Well it looks like we are in the same boat because I expected a hell of a lot more from you than sucking your cock in a room full of college kids. I thought you were above petty bullshit like that but deep down, you’re just poor Irish trash, and you always will be.

  “No matter how much money you acquire, it’s never going to change who you are, and you were lucky to be with me but you threw that all away for some cheap ploy that has cost you so much more than dollars and cents. It cost you my heart, Finbar, and what I felt for you. I hope it was worthwhile for you because I can’t ever see how we can break this impasse between us…and I’m not sure I want to do it either.”