One Day in December: The Christmas read you won't want to put down

by Shari Low

  ‘Don’t, Josie,’ Val warned.

  ‘It’s for his own good,’ came the retort.

  ‘Jesus, we were almost out the door,’ Val sighed.

  Josie, however, was unconcerned about the protest. She turned to face Cammy. ‘Cammy, you know that, as always, this comes from a place of love…’

  ‘Oh God,’ Cammy groaned, knowing this wasn’t going anywhere good.

  Josie carried on, undeterred. ‘I promise I’ll butt out of your life and get on board with this wedding. I’ll even wear a hat the size of a manhole cover. I’ll do a jig. And I’ll tell Lila that she’s the best thing that ever happened to you despite the fact that she’s down there on the list below chickenpox and the boot in the bollocks you got that time at five-a-side footie…’

  Cammy turned to Val. ‘The biggest “but” in history is just around the corner, isn’t it?’

  Val nodded mournfully. ‘Coming right at you.’

  Josie took a moment to prepare the rest of the declaration. ‘BUT only if you can absolutely 100 per cent without a doubt tell me honestly that you feel the same way about Lila as you did about Mel.’

  ‘I do,’ Cammy blurted.

  ‘Honestly?’ Josie asked sceptically.

  ‘Is that why you don’t want me to get engaged? Because you don’t think I love her enough?’

  Josie looked sheepish. ‘No. It’s because she’s shallow, stand-offish, she’ll bleed you dry and she couldn’t find a sense of humour if it was gift-wrapped in tissue paper and backlit with a strobe light. But apart from that, you’re right. I think you’ve come home and you want to settle down, make a new life, banish old ghosts, and that’s what she’s done for you. I worry that it’s the idea of her that you love more than the real thing. I don’t see her make you laugh, I don’t see that you’re best friends like you and M….’

  Cammy interrupted her before she could finish the sentence. He didn’t need to hear it. ‘She does, and we are. I want to marry her, Josie.’

  ‘Then I’ll get shopping for a manhole cover,’ Josie replied, beat. She’d given it her best shot. There was no more to be done.

  Val moved in to hug him. ‘Good luck tonight. If you’re happy that’s all that matters.’

  ‘Thanks Val.’

  And then they were gone, leaving him sitting in an empty shop with an expensive suit waiting to go on, and an engagement ring burning a hole in his pocket. And Josie’s words replaying in his mind.

  ‘Tell me honestly that you feel the same way about Lila as you did about Mel.’

  Why? Why did he have to feel the same? Wasn’t it perfectly okay to feel differently when there was a different woman involved? Surely a guy was allowed to find love more than once in his life, and it would be a unique kind of love, depending on the other person.

  ‘Tell me honestly that you feel the same way about Lila as you did about Mel.’

  Of course he wouldn’t feel the same. Absolutely not.

  Because, he knew he didn’t.

  Mel had… He swallowed back an obstruction that seemed to have formed in his throat. For ten years, Mel had been the first thing he’d thought of when he got up in the morning, yet he’d kissed her only once. In a nightclub. They’d gone there, Mel, Josie and Cammy, to cheer her up after her marriage fell apart. They’d ate too much, drank too much, and then somehow, inadvertently, gatecrashed an Elvis tribute night in one of the function suites. Josie had been swept off her pop socks by some bloke called Ernie, in blue suede shoes…. Christ, even the thought of it made his sides hurt. It was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. Meanwhile, he’d been dancing with Mel, her wild mane of red hair all messed up and falling down over her shoulders, both of them far too drunk to care that four Elvises and a Priscilla were questioning their right to be there, when the music had switched from an up-tempo number to ‘One Night With You’.

  They were dancing, laughing, and then suddenly he was kissing her, slowly, tenderly caressing her lips. She reciprocated, her tongue running softly, teasingly across his.

  Their hips seemed to press even more tightly together, their arms came up higher and hands found their way on to faces that they’d never touched in that way before.

  Suddenly, as if Mel’s brain caught up with what was happening, she broke it off, panicked, and then she was gone.

  That had been it. Their moment. All those years of quietly loving her and that was all it ever came to. A few weeks later, Mel had discovered that he’d been having an affair with Suze, her very married sister-in-law, and any chance they’d ever had blew off in the wind. Gone. Dream over. He couldn’t bear to see her disappointment in him every day, so he’d left, moved to LA – and the next thing he’d heard, Josie’s son, Michael, had come home after spending years working in Italy, he’d married Mel and they’d gone off back to live in Milan. Or Venice. Or somewhere else fricking romantic that would be perfect for living a life of bliss with the woman he’d adored.

  Did he feel the same way about Lila? No. Theirs was a different kind of love. A ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’ kind of love. There was a connection, a meeting of two similar souls. He couldn’t explain it. All he knew was that when he came home to Scotland and decided he wanted to be with someone, there she was. Beautiful. Positive. Upbeat. Loving life. With a vulnerable side that he just saw a tiny hint of every now and then.

  By some miracle, she’d fallen in love with him too.

  And no, Mel had never done that.

  He’d only had a few sips of the beer, and most of that he’d sprayed over his jeans, but it was starting to make his guts ache. Or maybe it was the step into the past that was turning his stomach. Either way, he was beginning to feel decidedly nauseous.

  He got up, went into the office, to where Digby had left the till tray with today’s takings. He quickly cashed it up and stored it in the safe, then grabbed his suit and headed out, setting the alarm, before locking the door and pulling down the shutters. Just as the beeps of the alarm stopped, a taxi came down the street. First lucky thing that had happened to him all day. He flagged it down and gave the driver the address for home, then gave himself a pep talk the whole way there.

  Her late appointment was bound to be done by now and she should be in when he got back so he had to act natural. Do not act weird. Do not seem suspicious. Be cool. She doesn’t know. You can pull this off. Yes you can.

  Outside the door to the flat, he paused, took a moment, steeled himself to be casual and nonchalant, then opened the door.

  ‘Hey babe,’ he shouted out, the same way he did every other night when he got home.

  Nothing.

  ‘Lila?’

  Still nothing. Maybe she was in the shower. He checked the en suite. Nothing.

  Every other room. More nothing.

  She wasn’t home. He checked his watch. Almost 7.30 p.m. Lila was a woman who took at least an hour to get ready to go out. When she’d left the shop she’d said that she had one more appointment, but she should definitely be back by now.

  He pulled his phone out and called her, relief soaring when she answered.

  ‘Babe, is everything okay?’ he asked.

  ‘Of course, it is, darling.’ She sounded fine. Normal. Maybe a bit tired.

  ‘I thought you’d be back home to change before we go out to dinner. I just got here and there’s no sign of you.’

  ‘I’m sorry, honey, I just got held up with this meeting. Anyway, I picked up my pink dress from the dry-cleaners this afternoon – you know, the Cavalli one – and it’s in the back of the car. I’ll just change and meet you there.’

  Pros and cons.

  Cons first. He’d been hoping to start the night with a glass of champagne at home, just to have a moment together before they went to the restaurant. If she was going straight there she was bound to be a bit harassed.

  Also, she would absolutely, definitely, positively be late. It was only his constant prompting that got them anywhere even remotely close to being on time. Her
parents were exactly the same so it was obviously a family trait.

  Pros. He wouldn’t have to act natural or pretend that this was just another ordinary Friday night.

  ‘Ok, babe, try to get there as soon as you can.’

  ‘Will do.’ She’d rung off a bit abruptly – but then, so would he if he was still at work at 7.30 p.m. on a Friday night. She really needed to take her foot off the gas a little with that job. She was working herself into the ground, doing all sorts of crazy hours and sacrificing her personal time for overnight stays at exhibitions and conferences. It wasn’t fair on her. Although, he did find her dedication to her job and her work ethic pretty sexy. Mel had been the same.

  Argh, fricking Mel again. This had to stop before it made him crazy.

  He took a quick five-minute shower, shaved, then ran some styling wax through his hair, dressed in his sharp new suit, and was ready to go twenty minutes later.

  He was almost at the door, when he realised he hadn’t picked up the most important item of the night. He retrieved it from the jacket he’d had on earlier, opened the box and watched as the one tiny diamond inset in the band caught the light. It was simple. Elegant. Beautiful. Even if she wanted to go pick something much more blinged out, she could always keep this one too. She deserved it.

  Outside, he decided to walk to the restaurant. It would clear his head and give him a chance to think through what he wanted to say.

  Lila, you’ve made me the happiest guy… Nope, too corny.

  Lila, from the first moment I saw you I knew… Nope, not strictly factual. The only thing he knew in that first moment he saw her was that he was deeply in lust.

  Lila, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much. Bland. Uninspired. Fuck it, he’d just have to wing it.

  As soon as the restaurant came into view in the distance, he forced himself to think positively. It was all going to work out. He was going to propose. She was going to say yes. They would live happily ever after, while avoiding Josie at all social gatherings. It would be perfect.

  Enough had gone wrong today. From here on in, it was all going to go exactly to plan. As Val would say, he could feel it in his water.

  He’d barely finished the thought when a passing car veered right through a puddle and soaked him.

  Chapter 23

  Bernadette

  The ring of her phone made her jump out of her skin, and it took a few moments after she saw the name ‘Nina’ flash up for her to compose herself enough to answer.

  ‘Hello, love, is everything okay?’ she asked, hoping she didn’t sound like the stressed out wreck that she was.

  ‘Mum, I’m calling to ask you exactly the same thing. How is it going? Honestly, I’m on tenterhooks. Can I help you? Is Dad home yet? Do you want me to come over? Gerry is back from work and he can look after the boys and honestly, it’s no problem at all.’

  That was Nina, Bernadette thought fondly - always one to pitch in, but prone to going a hundred miles an hour in a crisis.

  ‘Oh, love, I really appreciate it, I do. But I don’t want you involved and I think this is something I have to do myself.’

  ‘That’s what I told Stuart,’ she admitted. ‘He says you went to speak to him and he told you everything.’

  ‘You knew?’

  ‘Of course, I’m his sister!’ Nina exclaimed.

  And I’m his mother, Bernadette thought regretfully. I should have known. He should have felt it was easy to tell me. Once again she beat herself up about the fact that over the last couple of years she’d been so wrapped up in taking care of her parents and dealing with Ken, that she hadn’t spent as much time with her children and grandchildren as she should have. It was the thing she was most looking forward to changing.

  ‘I’m so sorry that he felt he couldn’t tell us, Nina,’ she confessed.

  ‘Mum, it wasn’t you. He wanted to tell you a long time ago, but he just didn’t want to put you in a position where you were keeping something from Dad, and he wasn’t ready to tell him. He had to make sure he was happy with his choices, both of them, before he announced them.’

  Bernadette understood that. She really did. It was scary taking that step into the unknown.

  ‘That makes me feel a bit better, love, thank you. And I appreciate you and Stuart wanting to come over, but I’d be so worried about you both that I’d crumble, so I really think I need to do this on my own. And besides, Auntie Sarah is with me.’

  ‘Stuart says you two are considering hooking up now,’ Nina said, laughing for the first time.

  ‘If I was up for a same-sex affair, she’d be just my type,’ Bernadette joked. ‘But I’m off romantic relationships for life. It’s just me and my family from now on. That’s all I need.’

  Nina must have heard the crack of her voice as she said that. ‘Mum, we’re both going to be by our phones all night and you know you just need to call and we’ll be there to support you. I know what Dad can be like but he wouldn’t dare speak out of turn if we were there. What time is he due home?’

  ‘In an hour or so. But honestly, there’s no need to come over. I promise I’ll be fine. I’ll call you later and let you know all is okay.’

  ‘Okay mum. I’ll be thinking about you and if you change your mind, just call. Love you.’

  ‘I love you too, pet.’

  She’d no sooner hung up than the phone rang again.

  ‘Connor and I want to come help you, Mum.’

  ‘Son, I’ve just had your sister on the phone and she said the same thing.’

  ‘I figured that. I was trying to get through and it just kept going to voicemail. Mum, let us come help. There must be something we can lift. Or move. We’re really useful for that kind of stuff.’

  It broke Bernadette’s heart to hear him trying to lighten the mood. How had she managed to end up with these two incredible adults?

  ‘Stuart, I appreciate it, I really do, but there’s nothing left to lift or move. Your Auntie Sarah and I have sorted it all. We’ve just got one final drop-off to do and then I’m going to come back and wait for your dad and break the news to him. Then, we’re going to agree to part like the mature adults that we are…’ She didn’t believe a word of this, but it somehow helped to paint a positive picture. ‘And then I’ll go back to Auntie Sarah’s and this will all be over with. You need to stay out of it, Stuart. I’d hate your dad to think you were picking sides…’

  ‘But I wouldn’t be. I just want to be there to make sure you’re both okay.’

  ‘I know, Stuart, but it wouldn’t work out that way. He’d say something, or I’d say something… Look, I’m not kidding myself that it’s going to be easy. Your dad and I have been together for over thirty years and that’s a long time to unravel. But we’ll get there – and I’ll do everything I can to make sure that it all stays as amicable as possible. It’s going to be fine, it really is.’

  She had a flashback to every time her children had ever hurt themselves every broken bone, every aching stomach. It’s going to be fine, she’d promise them. It’s going to be fine. As she hung up with more assurances and a promise to call later, she knew she was kidding herself if she thought it was all going to be fine this time.

  Year after year she’d thought about this day, hoped that it would come, and now it was here and she was as scared as she’d been when she’d first contemplated it.

  She remembered it well. A medical conference. Not long after Stuart was born. Bernadette had been feeling tired, frumpy, frazzled after spending months alone with an infant and a new baby. Kenneth had spent the whole night chatting up the attractive doctor who was sitting on the other side of him during dinner. He was so practised, so smooth, that Bernadette realised he’d done this before, and probably many times since. Somewhere along the line, she’d stopped wondering if he was unfaithful and accepted that he probably was.

  Back then, that night, she could see that the woman thought he was attractive, charming, a real prize. It w
asn’t until after dessert, that Bernadette bumped into her in the toilets.

  ‘I’m Georgina Wilson, Head of Gynaecology at Inverclyde,’ this gorgeous lady had said.

  ‘Bernadette Manson,’ Bernadette had said, expecting to be swiftly brushed off.

  ‘Which hospital are you from?’

  ‘Oh. I’m not. Well, I am – I’m a nurse at Glasgow Central.’

  Bernadette registered the confusion. The attendees at this function were senior doctors and consultants.

  ‘I’m actually here with my husband. Kenneth Manson.’

  ‘But I’ve been chatting…’ the other woman broke off, immediately getting an understanding of the situation. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she went on. ‘I’ve been hogging your husband’s company all night. I didn’t realise…’

  ‘No, no it’s fine,’ Bernadette said, trying to brush it off. She hated to cause a scene. Besides, humiliation was nothing out of the ordinary. She’d learned over the years that it came with the territory.

  ‘Are you coming back through?’ Georgina had asked.

  Bernadette nodded. ‘Yes. I actually just popped in here to phone my mum and check on the kids.’

  ‘What age are they?’

  ‘Our daughter is seven and our son is ten weeks.’

  The pity on the other woman’s face nearly broke Bernie and she felt a wave of tears sweep up to her eyes. She blinked them back, desperate to avoid making a fool of herself in front of this beautiful creature.

  Too late.

  Georgina fished a tissue out of her bag and handed it over.

  ‘Hormones,’ Bernadette murmured gratefully.

  The two women went back to their seats arm in arm, and Kenneth’s face was a picture as he watched them. When they sat down on either side of him, she saw Georgina lean in towards him but was the only one close enough to hear what she said.

  ‘You’ve flirted with me all night and your wife was sitting on the other side of you the whole time. You really are a dick.’ With that, she toppled a glass of red wine into his lap.

  It was all Bernadette could do not to give her a standing ovation.