Taking Risks

by Cassie Allee

  “Can you help me remember him?” She asked through her tears,

  I shook my head in agreement and told her that I needed to grab my friends. She agreed to wait for me and I ran inside as fast as I could, hoping my short absence wouldn’t give her enough time to change her mind and send us back to square one.

  REUNITING

  Risk and Gray were right where I had left them at the table. When they saw me running in they jumped up in a panic and I was quick to explain our current situation.

  “Hurry, I got through to her, but I don’t want her relapsing. She wants to remember.”

  Without a word, Risk gathered our things and Gray vanished to go be with Roletta while we dashed our way toward the exit. Just before we made it to the doors we were blocked by some white tuxedo wearing douche bags. When I realized they were purposely blocking us I took a second to look up at them and came face to face with Jon Gillman and his friends. His eyes were black and blue from where I had broken his nose, but I could easily see that his pride was still intact. I scowled at him and he returned the look in earnest.

  “Get out of my way.” I said through clenched teeth.

  I shot Risk a warning glare. A fight with Jon would mean a major delay with Roletta and Joey, and that was time that we couldn’t afford to lose.

  “I don’t have time for this right now, so why don’t you go fondle one of the skanks that follow you around and keep them the hell away from my boyfriend.”

  Before he could come back with any smartass remarks, Risk pushed him aside and pulled me out of the doors. Just as the doors were coming to a close behind us I heard Jon yell, “You’ll be seeing more of me sweetheart!” and his minions laughed hysterically. The threat meant nothing compared to what we were already dealing with.

  Out in the parking lot Risk and I found a very awkward Gray and Roletta as they waited for us to join back up with them. When we got into the car I saw how uncomfortable Roletta was. Her eyes had returned to normal so her normal human reactions were easier to see. She looked as if she were in agony, but she wasn’t making any noise. She just sat in her seat wringing her hands. The car ride was silent as we drove to Roletta’s grave site. We weren’t supposed to be meeting Joey until the following morning, but I wasn’t going to lose the opportunity that I had now, and I knew just where to find him.

  When we got to the cemetery we walked amongst the tombstones to find the place where she was buried. I was just thinking to myself about how easy it would be to get turned around in a big cemetery when Roletta popped up right in front of me, cutting off my path.

  “I don’t think I can do this. What if I can’t remember him? I don’t want to hurt him any more than I already have.” She said in a panic.

  I saw the motherly concern on her face and the fear that she might not know her own child was showing through too. We were so close to victory, but I couldn’t think of anything to say to her. She looked up at me, hopeful that I would say something to comfort her, but I just stood there. One moment later, she was gone. I looked around for a few minutes before I yelled, “FUCK!” as if I had stubbed my toe. Gray and Risk turned around and ran up to me.

  “What happened Mar? What’ wrong?” Gray said and Risk came to my side.

  I started to cry. “I lost her. Damnit!”

  “What do you mean you lost her?” Asked Risk.

  “She wanted to know what she should do. She didn’t want to hurt Joey anymore and I didn’t know what to say to her. I’m not a parent, don’t know what kind of advice to give. I’m just trying to save my own skin here and I couldn’t think of one fucking word of comfort to say to her.”

  Risk lifted my face up to meet his as I stood sobbing. “You couldn’t have been expecting her to ask you for parenting advice. And you’re not just trying to save yourself Marlee, you’re trying to save all of those souls that have been kept here and are ready to move on. You’re risking everything so that they can move on from this world and have peace. We still have time, so have faith in yourself. You’re doing your best.”

  That’s when I heard a third voice behind me. “You lost her, huh? I should’ve known that you would screw this up.” Joey said as he stood there with his angry face and awful red eyes.

  I turned to face him. “You don’t understand. I just choked. She’s worried about you Joey, she just doesn’t want to hurt you anymore. It’s not your fault!”

  I dropped to my knees and started sobbing and shaking. I felt the cold of the ground through my dress as Joey bent down to whisper in my ear, “This isn’t my fault, it’s your fault. You’ve ruined everything, and because of that, you’re going to die and your soul will be trapped here just like everyone else. I’m going to get stronger and I’m going to start hurting as many people as I can. My mother doesn’t want me anymore, don’t you see? If she wanted me she would’ve come looking for me, or she would’ve quit hiding from me a long time ago. She’s asking for this and so are you.”

  Gray walked in front of me. He was standing tall and the air around him was sizzling. He took a deep breath as I was pulled to my feet by Risk. I looked down at the mud stains on my once beautiful prom dress as Gray started to speak.

  “Listen to me young man. You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Gray said through clenched teeth. Joey came back with an “Oh yeah?” and Gray continued, “Yeah. Your mother loves you very much and she’s just doing what she thinks is best for you. You have no idea what she went through when you died. It was a tragedy for everyone and no one should have to go through losing a child, but people do it every day. Your mom reacted badly, but you wouldn’t believe how much she loves you. When we found her, she had red eyes just like you. She was an angry, awful soul. Marlee was with her for twenty minutes talking about you, and just the thought of her being a mother to a child who was hurting himself pulled her out of her ghost coma. She’s just as scared as you and if you want to help her, you’ll listen to us.”

  Risk and I stood there for a moment, amazed. Gray had completely commanded authority from the person that we had all just been so afraid of. It was as if he were trying to get through to his own, very troubled, child. He took a look at Risk and turned back to see Joey who had a completely dumbfounded look on his face. His image flickered for a moment as the wave of emotion washed through him. I thought Joey was going to vanish before Gray started to speak again.

  “The reason why you and your mom haven’t been able to find each other isn’t from lack of trying. It’s because your mother can’t remember anything about her life or death so she doesn’t remember you. Even if she did remember you, I doubt that she would be able to recognize you under all that ugly anger. If you could only see yourself in a mirror Joey. You’re just a glimmer of the boy that I met a few weeks ago. You’re only one side of yourself and it’s the ugliest side.”

  And with that, Gray turned and walked away, leaving Risk and I staring at Joey like we were idiots. Joey looked down at the ground and shuffled his feet before he vanished. When Risk and I gathered ourselves together we ran to catch up to Gray.

  “What the fuck was that?” I asked Gray and he just smiled back at me.

  He reached out to hold my cheek. His hand felt cold, but comforting, and he said, “The boy needs some guidance. Every child needs someone to show them the way. He’ll come around Spud.” Gray smiled at me and swiped at a tear that had fallen on my cheek, but it remained there. We all rode back to the house quietly and I tried my best to make myself look like I had just had a rough night of dancing so Mom wouldn’t freak out as we walked into the house. My makeup was mostly gone and my dress was muddy on the knees, but I wiped away the mascara streaks and the bulk of the mud. When we entered, Mom quickly snapped a picture before warning anyone.

  She took the camera from her eyes and when she caught a glimpse of me her mouth turned down into a quick frown. “What the hell happened to you Marlee?” she bit.

  I came back with a rehearsed answer telling her that I had taken a spill an
d I was way too clumsy to be wearing heels. I smiled the most genuine smile that I could at her and she looked at me as if she were questioning herself about my sanity, but seemed to accept to explanation anyway. She asked us a little about our night before she excused herself to go get some sleep. When she came to hug me before going to bed she whispered in my ear, “You looked beautiful tonight sweetie, I love you.” And then she went upstairs, leaving the three of us alone.

  Gray and Risk leaned close to me when they knew that she was out of earshot. They tried discussing what our next move should be and if I was prepared to handle to next step, whenever we figured out what that step may be. I tried my best to listen to their conversation, but I couldn’t keep my eyelids open. The last thing I remembered is Risk giving me a worried look and saying, “Marlee?” as I felt myself go in to the darkness.

  When I woke up I was in a hospital bed with my mom asleep in the chair beside me. Gray was sprawled out in the middle of the floor staring up at the TV and Risk was sitting on the small couch next to him and whispering something. When he looked up his eyes met mine and I could see the relief wash over his features. He ran over to me and gently shook my mom to wake her and tell her that I was awake. Gray appeared at the foot of the bed. He didn’t look concerned as much as he looked down right pissed. He didn’t think about my mom being right there and that I was a little groggy and might respond to him before he rushed to me and said, “This ends now.” Through gritted teeth. Risk and I nodded at him.

  Right away Mom started in on me, asking if I was okay and what happened as I tried to shake the fog from my head. I told her to calm down and then asked them what day it was. It was Sunday, which meant that I had only been out for less than a day.

  I squinted up at Risk and asked him what happened.

  “I have no clue babe. We were all just talking and you passed out. You almost quit breathing and we couldn’t find a pulse so we called an ambulance. The doctors think its chronic fatigue.” He looked at me sheepishly and glanced at my mom.

  “What do you mean you all? Who else was there?” Mom asked

  Risk looked at me in a panic when he realized his easy mistake and I felt his pain. I knew the anxiety that came from making those little mistakes. I shrugged my shoulders and took a deep breath to prepare myself for telling her the truth.

  “I don’t have the energy to make something up for you Mom. It was me, Risk…and Gray. Risk can see and talk to him too.”

  Her eyes snapped up to Risk and her jaw dropped wide open. I rolled my eyes and heard a giggle escape Gray who was taunting Risk like a child, telling him that he was in trouble. Risk and Mom had a short stare down before she crossed her arms over her chest and gave him her best business woman stance. “So you’re bonkers too, is that it?”

  Risk dropped his head into his hands and I heard him grumble, “Thanks for throwing me to the wolves.” Then he pulled his head back up to look at Mom.

  “Look Mrs. Chase, I know this is hard to believe, but Marlee is in trouble. This isn’t some sort of freak accident. A ghost put her in here. He’s taking more energy from her as we speak and he won’t stop until we set things straight in that world. This isn’t a game.”

  Mom rolled her eyes at him and then gave me a murderous glare as she spat, “You think this is funny? You’re my daughter and you’re in the hospital, and now some boy is telling me that a ghost is out to get you. Seriously Mar, what kind of drugs are you taking? I want to get you help…”

  I interrupted her in a hurry. “Woah! Calm down there Mom. I am not on drugs. I’ve had my head on straighter than any other teenager that I know.”

  “So explain this to me than. Why exactly are you in a hospital for passing out and breathing so shallow that you hardly had a pulse? I was home one day when you slept through an entire day and I could do nothing to wake you up. God knows how many times that’s happened and I haven’t been there!”

  “You won’t believe any true explanation that I can give you.” I whispered and she scoffed.

  I knew that I had to get out of the hospital and take care of business before I really did croak. I knew those doctors could do nothing for me. It was already Sunday night and I had school and work the following day. If I missed those things Mom would have more reason to be suspicious. I went to the bathroom pretending to have to pee and found some of my clothes in there waiting for me. While I was getting dressed I saw a cup used for urine specimens on the back of the sink and it sparked an idea.

  After I was out of that nasty hospital gown I walked out of the bathroom fully clothed and obviously on my way out. Moms’ eyes were wide with anger, but before she could start throwing a fit I slammed the cup down in front of her that contained my urine sample. I wrote on the side of it with permanent marker “Drug Test Sample” and quickly turned and left the room, motioning the boys to follow me. My mom was too stunned and confused to even yell after me, and that’s exactly what I was counting on.

  Gray, Risk, and I made our way back to my house in record time and I ran inside to grab Risk and I some sweatshirts. I saw where the paramedics had tracked mud in all over the house and I rolled my eyes. I liked a clean house and those guys should have known better. When I got back outside we all discussed our plans.

  “Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do…” I said, “I’m going to the old town square and I’m going to find Roletta. She has to be there.”

  Both Risk and Gray gave me a stern look. Gray was the first to speak up.

  “You can’t do this Spud. I can’t let you, it’s too dangerous.” Gray said while Risk nodded in agreement.

  “Look Gray, I get it. I love you too, but if I don’t do this I’m going to die. It’s all on my shoulders now and you have to trust me.”

  Gray looked defeated as he stared down at the grass. He looked back up at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. “You two are literally everything to me. You’re the only companions that I’ve ever known, and Mar, you’ve always let me tag along with you without ever telling me to go away or calling me a creep. You’ve always just loved me…I can’t lose you.”

  I gave Gray the best hug that I could without falling through him and it made my body cold to the bone. I reassured him in every way that I could think of that I would be fine before turning away from him and facing Risk.

  “What’s your plan Marlee? This is insane!” He said.

  I couldn’t say anything to reassure him that he hadn’t already heard me tell Gray, so I threw my arms around him. The contact seemed to sooth him for the moment so I backed away so they could hear me speak.

  “Please keep Gray occupied. I won’t be gone long so play some cards or just shoot the shit, whatever you boys do. You two just keep busy while I’m gone so you don’t have a stroke.”

  It was starting to get dark outside as I walked through the woods and the wind was blowing wildly. I pulled my sweatshirt around me a little tighter as the wind bit into me. I grew more anxious with every crunch of a leaf under my feet. When I could see the ocean of glowing red eyes in the distance I started to sweat. I got as close as I could without drawing attention to myself and then I crawled to the bushes where we had our stakeout before. My breathing got heavy as I looked for Roletta and I felt as though I might have an anxiety attack.

  I tried taking slow, even breaths, but I couldn’t seem to get any air into my lungs. I felt myself inching closer and closer to passing out with every breath, and then in the sea of red, I saw her. My heart skipped a beat at first, but then something came over me. I knew what I had to do, and that was all I could think of. My breath evened and I straightened myself so that I stood tall with my head held high and my shoulders back. I stood with as much authority as I could muster, and then, I walked.

  It took me eleven steps before the first angry one noticed me. I kept my eyes locked on the target and pushed myself through the crowd of Lost Ones, careful not to disturb any of them, but also careful not to let my courage waver. After the first one noticed
me, each one that I passed stopped to stare at me. Some yelled at me, or screamed their ear splitting scream, but I kept walking towards Roletta.

  She was seated on the side of the huge broken fountain with her hands covering her eyes and sobbing. She never even noticed all of the commotion around her, and I started to wonder if I would find that her eyes were red again when they met mine. I sat beside her, but she took no notice of me. I had the complete attention of every Lost One around us, but Roletta was so stricken with grief that she didn’t know that I was there. I laid my hand on hers and felt the tingling sensation that had started to feel natural to me.

  She flinched and her eyes snapped up to mine. I tried my best to hide my smile as I saw the chocolate brown color of her eyes. She looked at me and then looked at her surroundings in a panic

  “What are you doing here?” she said, “You’re in danger.”

  I showed her a small grin and replied, “You asked me a question last time we were together and I’m here to answer you.” Roletta cocked an eyebrow at me in interest, so I continued, “You asked me what you would do if you didn’t recognize your son. I didn’t know how to answer you then, but I think I can help you now. It doesn’t matter whether you remember him or not. He is your son and you’ll do the right thing no matter what. I can tell that you’re a good person and something inside of you knows who he is and what he means to you.”

  Roletta smiled at me and it warmed my heart. She nodded slightly with a much more peaceful look on her face, but she turned her eyes back to the crowd of souls that seemed to be getting closer to us and braver. My confidence started to waver as I looked back at the red eyes watching me. I started to feel faint as their energy grew with their hate for me and I knew that I had to get out of there. I whispered to Roletta to meet me at my house and took off in a sprint through the woods away from the Lost Ones. None of them followed me, but I could still feel the part of my energy that was fueling their anger leaving me.