Lilith

by Ashley Jeffery

  "Hey do you mind?"

  No one answered my question but I stood and flushed the toilet, and pulled the thin papery pants back up.

  "Pacey?" Rachel's voice asked softly.

  I sighed and walked out of the bathroom.

  "Hi." She tilted her head to the right and inspected my appearance.

  "Are you going to shower and change?"

  “Yes.” I motioned for her to leave.

  "I have to stay in here when you do. It's protocol. I know it sucks I'll stay out here. They just don't like you to spend too much time alone in here." She handed me a towel and sat in the chair to wait.

  After ten minutes of the hot stream of water I felt better. Rachel smiled when I came out clean and in fresh clothes.

  "Much better, you almost look human."

  I smiled and towel dried my curly snarled hair. It was going to be a pain to get out all the tangles, three days with no brush was a slow form of cruelty.

  "Do I get a brush?" Rachel grimaced and handed me a tiny rubber comb, she had to be kidding what in the heck could that do.

  "Seriously?"

  She pulled a bottle from her pocket.

  "I knew it'd be hard with all your curls so I smuggled this in." She showed me the detangler and I smiled.

  "You're an angel." I reached for it but she shook her head.

  “I'll spray you comb."

  Did they really think I'd drink it? I looked at her concerned face and realized they did.

  "Do I get a toothbrush?"

  Rachel sighed. "Yes and no, I keep it for you, that way it can't be used as a weapon. When you prove your trustworthy you'll get to keep your stuff for yourself. Which means you have to behave, and do what your told." I groaned, following orders had never been a strong point for me.

  "Okay, what else?"

  "You have to take your meds every morning, participate in group, and individual therapy sessions."

  I closed my eyes, I was in this trouble deep.

  "I know this sucks Pacey, but you tried to kill yourself. Even though you did it under duress and horrible circumstances, this is how it is. I'll help you as much as I can to get out of here as fast as possible. Will you listen to me?"

  I thought about what she was saying. I couldn't believe she wanted to help me to begin with, I'd given her a shiner.

  "Yes, but why do you want to help me, after what I did?"

  Rachel smiled and reached for the comb in my hand to help me. "Because when I was fourteen my mother died, and whether you believe it or not, I know what you're going through."

  As much as I wanted to believe that, I knew it wasn't true. No one knew what I was going through. I'd been the direct cause of my mother's death, and my boyfriend, the one guy I'd ever loved, had stabbed her in the back to save me.

  Rachel led me out the thick metal door into the empty hallway. This part of the hospital was so empty and bare it reminded me of a morgue. Cold and devoid of anything but emptiness and death. I followed her down the hallway to another electronically locked door.

  She pulled her employee badge from her pocket and swiped it across the key pad. The door let out a click and she pulled the door open. To the right and down another hallway was the common room. A television was on in the far corner playing some mindless cartoons. There were other patients scattered about the room.

  Bright orange chairs where bolted to the floor in places. Three small round tables on the far left were empty. The room was extremely depressing. Rachel grabbed my shoulder and urged me forward again. I took a deep breath and followed her to a window. A nurse smiled at Rachel through the thick glass.

  "Hey Rachel, who have we have here?" She indicated with a finger raised to me.

  She was older, with graying hair, and thick black rimmed glasses. I heard her tongue cluck in her mouth when she recognized me, even though I had no clue who she was.

  "Ah this is the boxer I've heard so much about. And how are we feeling today Miss O’Brien?"

  I felt myself twitch under her scrutiny. "I feel fine."

  Rachel nudged me and I gave her a pathetically fake smile. Who was I kidding I couldn't pull this off, I knew I was crazy, everything that had happened to me up until now was insane.

  "Take these." She slid a plastic cup forward that contained two small white pills.

  I glanced at Rachel who shook her head and handed me a Styrofoam cup full of water. I reached for the cup of water, then reached for the pill-filled cup and dumped them into my mouth. I swallowed too quickly and choked a bit on the water. Rachel thumped me on the back twice.

  "Alright, mouth open tongue out then up."

  I rolled my eyes and did as she asked. They took everything very seriously. She nodded her approval then placed the empty cups back on the desk to slide back towards the other nurse. I finally noticed her nametag, and a chill ran down my spine.

  Of course, her name had to be Lilith, another sign that no matter how much I wanted to believe everything about the weeks before now weren't real, it wasn't true, and Lilith’s name was a reminder. I had a goal, I had a plan that I had to get back to.

  "Breakfast will be in an hour, I'm going to go introduce you to Ruthie. She's a real kick and a lifer. She'll be able to show you the ropes."

  An older woman with grey short-cropped hair came forward. She narrowed her eyes viscously at Rachel but grinned toothily when she saw me.

  "Fresh meat, ah Rachel? Well I'll take care of her, come sit with me dearie."

  I glanced at Rachel in protest but followed the older frail woman forward. She had to be in her seventies, her face riddled with wrinkles, and her eyes held the light of someone who'd been through a lifetime of sorrow. Her grey eyes were all I could see about her that haunted me, they were familiar somehow, no matter how impossible that seemed.

  She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards an old beat up brown couch. I sat beside her and tried to pull my hand free. She held it firmly, tighter than I thought she was capable of. She turned it over and ran a finger down the center, and a shiver ran up my spine. I knew her, I could feel it all the way to my toes. I stared into her eerie eyes and waited for what seemed like forever for her to speak.

  "My poor sweet Pacey, you have seen death haven't you?"

  I gulped in shock.

  "Twice now your life has been threatened, your body drained of blood. Someone watches over you carefully, a woman with your face, but her eyes are different and older, wiser, than your own."

  One hot tear ran down my cheek, how did she know so much by just holding my hand, by looking into my eyes?

  "You've been blessed child, with the second sight, like me, yet you do not know how to harness this power. When the doctor's ask you about the truths you've let spill from your lips, lie. It is the only escape from here. I am only here because I want to be, I needed to be. I have been waiting these many years for a young purple-eyed girl, and you've arrived. I will help you leave this place, but first you must learn of your power. Lilith will kill you if you do not learn."

  I pulled my hand from hers and wiped the tears from my face. How could she know?

  "How do you know?"

  She smiled revealing her stained teeth. "The second sight child, I was too touched by Lilith, and I survived."

  I watched her grey eyes fill with tears and stare off into the distance, looking at something or someone that wasn’t there.

  "My younger sister fell in love once. Elizabeth didn’t realize that it was predestined, or that her love was a son of Adam. He was young, and charming, and handsome. Lilith saw my beautiful sister through her magical mirror and tried to kill her, to keep her from him. I tried to save her, but in the end, she died, and Lilith marked me instead.” Ruthie showed me her withered scars.

  “My sister’s lover died some years later, enchanted by Lilith’s empty promises he took his own life. But there is another way, to end her designs for your beau. Do you truly love him?"

  I thought of Dean's blue lust filled eyes, and hi
s hands that seemed to touch my skin like velvet. I loved him with every part of me.

  "Yes."

  Ruthie patted my hand softly and turned when she heard them announce breakfast. I didn't get a chance to speak to her again all morning.

  After lunch Rachel came forward and told me I had visitors. My palms started sweating and my heart was beating so quickly I thought I'd throw up. Dean was out there waiting, with my dad and Rhiannon. I wiped my hands across my pant legs and tried to untangle my crazy hair. Here goes nothing.

  "Pacey." My dad smiled softly when Rachel led me into the visiting room.

  Dean smiled when he saw me, and I ran towards him. My feet moved without any effort in his direction, covering the distance between us in less than a heartbeat.

  "Pacey, thank God." He pulled me into his arms, and I immediately felt better.

  I needed to see him, to touch him, to feel his strong heart beating beneath my ear. My dad cleared his throat and I looked over at him and Rhiannon.

  "Daddy." Tears ran down my face as I walked into his waiting arms.

  "Daddy, I'm so sorry." The words choked from my throat as I swallowed a sob.

  He always said he could never live without her, and I was the cause. I was her death.

  "Oh Pacey, baby, I'm just glad you’re okay, your mo-mom." I watched my dad rub a hand across his face before he continued.

  "Your mom would have died before she'd hurt you Pacey. I don't understand, I don't know what could have happened to her, to make her do this." My dad looked over towards Dean who bowed his head in shame.

  How could they even manage to be in the same room together. Dean may not have given my mom the stab wound that took her life, but he'd injured her, and my dad stood staring at him like he was the one who'd done it.

  "Dad, it’s not Dean’s fault."

  He looked up into my eyes and I could see the guilt written in his.

  "I don’t blame Dean, I knew something was wrong Pacey, there were times, when her eyes would just go blank and empty. It wasn't like her she wasn't that cold. I, if I'd said something, made her go get help, maybe she'd still be alive, and she wouldn't have tried to kill you, our daughter, our living jewel."

  After twenty minutes of tears and visiting my dad left me alone in the room with Rhiannon and Dean. We had ten minutes before they had to leave, I tried not to look miserable when he left the room.

  “Okay Pacey, we want the effing truth.”

  I was taken aback. Rhiannon wanted what truth, the real truth, or what happened in my room that day.

  “Don’t look stupid sparky I know you better than lover boy here. You’re holding something back.”

  I took a deep breath and shook my head.” I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Dean elbowed Rhiannon and motioned for her to let it go. Of course, she wasn’t going to do that, not my Rhi, she was a bulldog when it came to something she wanted, she wasn’t going to let it go that easily.

  “Screw that, don’t lie to me. I want the truth, that wasn’t your mother who did that.” Rhiannon pointed to the bandage that still covered my arm.

  “I’ve known your mom since I was six years old. There wasn’t a bone in her body that could harm you. Even Dean said she wasn’t herself, said she moved like a zombie, like someone was wearing her skin.”

  I flinched, that’s exactly how someone under Lilith’s influence looked, like someone unfamiliar with the body was wearing it.

  “I can’t talk about this, look where I am Rhi, do you really think whatever’s happened is something I can tell you. I’m trying to protect you.”

  “And a lot of good that did too didn’t it. Now your mom’s dead and someone has tried to kill you twice. How many more bodies are gonna drop before you trust us. I’m your best friend, there’s nothing you can’t tell me. So quit acting retarded and open up. We only have a few more minutes.”

  I looked into Rhiannon’s waiting face and groaned. There was no way I was getting out of this. I had to tell them the truth, and pray to God that they believed me.

  Chapter Eleven

  Committed

  “Okay, but you asked for it.” I took one last deep breath and tried to piece together the fastest way to say what I needed to.

  “Some psycho sadistic demoness is obsessed with Dean because he’s a direct descendant of Adam. She wants him for herself and wants me out of the way, so she can have him. She can move into upset and easily manipulated woman through mirrors, and actually once, she was even in you Rhi, that’s why you didn’t remember saying something once, or had blackouts. Anyways, the only way to stop her is to destroy her magical mirror in her cave located in some sort of dream world called the “Hall of Mirrors” it’s like hell or an in-between world. She took over mom to kill me, and honestly I have no clue who she was inhabiting the first time she tried.”

  I smiled a little at their confused faces, they’d asked for the truth. I felt a heavy weight move off of my chest and waited for their reactions. Rhiannon was the first to say anything she laughed a little first then shook her head.

  “Whatever you say Pacey, what kind of meds do they have you on here cause that’s crazy.”

  Dean narrowed his eyes at her then cleared his throat. “Is this the same psycho that killed my ex-girlfriend?”

  I watched Rhi’s face go white in shock.

  “You’re serious?” She asked.

  I groaned and rolled my eyes. “Yea, totally.”

  Rhi bit her lip and started pacing across the small room. “Huh, well shit, what are we supposed to do about that?”

  I shrugged and watched Dean smile in my direction.

  “You really thought I wouldn’t believe you?” He asked. “Silly Pacey, don’t you know?”

  I shook my head and waited for him to continue.

  “I love you no matter what. And if you say some crazy demon lady is trying to kill you because she wants me, well who am I to argue with that. I mean look at me.”

  Rhiannon groaned and smacked his shoulder. “Not everyone wants you stupid.”

  I chuckled softly and reached for his hand.

  “I love you too, but this is serious. And I don’t have a clue where to start or how to get out of here.”

  My mind drifted a little to the memory of a grey haired woman. Well I might have some ideas.

  “Times up.” My dad walked into the room followed closely by Rachel.

  I tried not to winch when I saw her and reached for Dean. He pulled me into a tight embrace and whispered into my ear.

  “I love you. Me and Rhi will start looking for answers.” He released me and Rhi patted my shoulder.

  “Come on Pacey time to go.” Rachel’s stern voice pulled me quickly to the door.

  I shared one quick hug with my dad and followed her out the door. I looked behind me once and caught one last glimpse of Dean’s face and remembered.

  “Her name is Lilith, Dean, Lilith.”

  Rachel stopped walking and turned to face me with judging eyes.

  “Whose name is that Pacey?” She folded her arms across her chest and watched my face drain of color.

  “Uhh just some new girls name at school. I wanted him to tell her sorry because I was her lab partner for a project.” I smiled casually and waited for her to call me a liar and scream for the guards.

  Her eyebrow went up questionably but she reached over with her badge and scanned the door. It clicked and popped and she opened it for me.

  “After you.”

  I followed her hand and walked inside. She led me back down the long hallway and to a windowed wooden door. A gold plate on the front said Dr. Michael Griffin. Rachel knocked softly and opened it when we heard a cough from inside.

  “Come in.”

  I held my breath and put my head down as she pushed me through the open door.

  “Ah hello Miss O’Brien. You are two minutes late to our session. Please make a point of being on time, I hate tardiness.”

  I looke
d over into Rachel’s reddening face and sighed.

  “Sorry sir.”

  He nodded at Rachel and she left the room and closed the door. Dr. Michael Griffin stood and walked towards me. He reached out a hand for mine. I held mine out and squeezed softly in nervousness.

  “Have a seat Miss O’Brien.”

  I looked at the empty overly stuffed chair and sat down. I could feel my pulse quicken under his watchful gaze.

  “Now, I know this is your first day here, so I wanted to go over your schedule with you, and what it is we hope to accomplish here. Because of your mother’s death and your attempt on your own life, we would like to keep you here as a guest…for a short time.”

  I swallowed down my nausea and nodded.

  “Every day you will have group time in the common room, and then workshops throughout the day. You will also be given free time to indulge in television or reading, whatever it is you like. If you prove you can be trusted and accountable, you will receive certain…privileges. If you do anything you are not supposed to, or phase back on treatment you will lose these privileges. Do you understand what it is I’m asking of you?”

  I nodded again and he stared at me silently.

  “Ye-yes I, understand.” The words choked out of my mouth but I saw him smile his approval.

  “Very good. Now since we have that out of the way, I would like to ask you some questions. Is that alright?”

  “Yes, ask away.” I settled down into my chair more comfortably and held my breath in anticipation.

  “Upon your entry, into the isolation part of our hospital you were screaming rather frantically about a woman, a demon named Lilith, do you remember this?”

  I chewed on my lip and tried to remember the incident. I remembered thrashing, and crying, but nothing about what I said.

  “No sir, I’m sorry, I don’t remember.”

  His eyes tightened and he continued. “Call me Dr. Griffin, is it alright if I call you Pacey?”

  “Yes sir, I mean, Dr. Griffin.”

  He smiled and I noticed his pale yellowy eyes. He was an older man probably in his mid-fifties. His hair was slightly graying, and his face had a whispering of wrinkles.