AN INNOCENT MAN

by Margaret Watson

  "I'm not joking," she insisted. "He said he saw your ad in one of the medical journals and wants to apply for the job."

  Sarah sat down abruptly and stared at the excited face of her assistant. "A doctor?" she said carefully. "In our waiting room? To apply for a job here?"

  "Yep," Josie answered happily. "And he's a real hunk, too."

  "Okay," Sarah said faintly. "Tell him I'll be with him in a minute."

  As Josie left the tiny office, Sarah looked around frantically. If she'd had some warning, she could have cleaned the office up. Patient folders and magazines were scattered everywhere, covering all the surfaces. Scooping them up ruthlessly, she dumped three armloads into the closet and slammed the door shut.

  She hastily rearranged everything on the top of her desk to give an ordered, neat appearance. She didn't want a potential employee to think the clinic was a chaotic mess.

  "A doctor," she said under her breath, pausing for a moment to savor the words. Her ticket out of Pine Butte, her release, her salvation.

  "Stop it," she commanded, wiping sweaty palms down the sides of her jeans. She hadn't even met the man, for heaven's sake, and she was already planning the itinerary of her first trip. Closing her eyes, she said a prayer of thanks for whatever had brought him to their town, then took a deep breath and walked into the waiting room.

  In spite of her excitement, she noticed Connor first. He sat in a chair in the corner of the room, not even pretending to have a reason for being there, watching her with an enigmatic look in his eyes. Tearing her gaze away from him, Sarah looked over at the immaculately groomed man who sat a few seats down from Connor, reading a well-thumbed People magazine. His blond, perfectly cut hair was carefully styled. The suit he wore was obviously a designer model, and fit him like a glove.

  She couldn't help but glance over at Connor again. Even in his faded jeans and old T-shirt, his masculine appeal shouted to her over the stranger's superficial slickness. She forced herself to look at the blond man rather than Connor.

  "Hello," she said. "I'm Sarah Wesley."

  The stranger jumped up to extend his hand and the magazine slid to the floor. "I'm Perry Cummings. I hope you don't mind my coming without an appointment. When I saw your ad, I was so excited that I just jumped in the car and took off."

  "Not at all, Dr. Cummings." Her voice warmed at his obvious enthusiasm and she forced all her attention onto him. "I'm delighted that you're interested in practicing in a small town."

  "It's been a dream of mine for years," he assured her. When he stepped closer, the overpowering sweet scent of his after-shave swirled around her and she instinctively backed up a step. "I've just been waiting for the perfect opportunity. Your ad sounded like exactly what I was looking for." He took out a white handkerchief and blew his nose. "Pardon me, I have a little cold."

  "Why don't you come into the office where we can talk?" She led the way down the hall, turning to look over her shoulder and catching another glimpse of Connor watching her somberly. "You'll have to pardon the mess," she said, jerking her gaze in Dr. Cummings's direction. We've had a busy few days." She took a deep breath. "Just the reason we need a doctor in Pine Butte."

  Forty-five minutes later, she escorted Dr. Cummings out to the waiting room. Connor still sat in the same chair in the corner, but she tried to ignore him. "I'll have to talk with some other people before I can make a decision, but I don't think there'll be a problem," she told the man. "Why don't you leave your address and phone number with Josie?"

  He pulled out his handkerchief again and blew his nose, then nodded and smiled at the receptionist. "I already gave her my card. I'm practicing now in Denver, but I don't own the practice so it shouldn't take me too long to tie up loose ends."

  "Great. You might want to look around the town for a bit before you leave. In fact, if you're going to be here for a while, why don't I take you to dinner tonight? I can answer any other questions you might have after you've seen Pine Butte."

  "Thanks, but I don't think I can stay that long. I have to get back to Denver tonight." He looked again at Josie, then smiled at her. "I hope to hear from you soon."

  "I'm sure you will, Perry," Sarah replied.

  She watched thoughtfully as the door closed behind him. He'd been nothing but charming and polite during their interview, enthused about the practice here and about medicine in general. So what was bothering her?

  He was too smooth, for one thing. She never had trusted anyone who was too slick, too polished, too perfect. Shrugging, she turned to go to her office. As long as his references checked out and he was willing to work in Pine Butte, it didn't matter what she thought of him personally. She'd met more than one doctor like him. Most of their patients loved them.

  "Who was that?"

  She turned around slowly. As excited as she'd been about the prospect of a doctor working at the clinic, she'd been too aware of Connor sitting in the corner, watching her. The realization unsettled her, made her edgy.

  "I'm sure you heard." Her voice was cool.

  He slowly straightened and stood up. He looked more sexy in his worn jeans and slightly untidy, just-too-long black hair than perfectly groomed Perry Cummings could ever hope to be.

  "I wasn't spying on you, Sarah. You said you'd be free at noon, and I was just waiting for you. So who was Perry?"

  "He's a doctor interviewing for a job here in the clinic."

  "I didn't know you were looking for help."

  She sighed and leaned back against the counter, willing herself to relax. Just because she couldn't control her raging hormones didn't mean she had to take it out on Connor.

  "We've been looking for help since the day I graduated from nursing school and came back here. I never intended to be the only medical person in Pine Butte for so long. We just haven't been able to find a doctor wiling to come to work here. We can't afford to pay a fortune like some of the small towns who lure doctors away from the city. We don't have any nightlife, and the only recreation is fishing or hunting in the mountains. Not a lot to offer someone used to a lot of money and a lot of places to spend it."

  "It looked like he was a live one. Why didn't you tell me you were interviewing this morning? I could have taken care of my errand by myself."

  "I don't want you to do it yourself. And besides, I didn't know he was coming. He just showed up."

  His eyebrows rose. "He came from Denver and just showed up this morning? It's at least a four-hour drive."

  "He said he was excited about the job," she answered defensively. "Connor, this is the first time in six years that anyone has even shown up here for an interview. Everybody else that's been interested has said no, thanks after talking to us on the phone."

  "So don't look a gift horse in the mouth, is that it?"

  "Of course not! I intend to scrutinize his references carefully. But if they check out, I'll hire him in a minute."

  "Even though you didn't like him?"

  "How did you know that?"

  He shrugged. "It wasn't too tough." His eyes flickered down to her toes and back again, and a hot gleam suddenly shone in his eyes. "Body language."

  She didn't look at him, although she could feel the heat creeping into her face. "It doesn't matter what I think of him personally. I won't have to work with him much. And the people here'll love him. Look at Josie. She's practically drooling over him."

  "What do you mean you won't have to work with him? Where will you be?"

  "Doing whatever I want to do," she said softly. "I've been here in Pine Butte all my life except for the five years I was in school. Before Barb… Before I went to nursing school, all I ever wanted was to travel, see the world. If there's someone else here to take care of the practice, I can do that."

  "So this guy is an answer to your prayers," he said slowly.

  "Yes, he is." She sounded defiant, even to herself, and wondered why. She didn't have to answer to Connor MacCormac, especially on the subject of who she hired to work in the clinic. Acc
ording to his own words, he'd be long gone before Perry Cummings ever showed up to work.

  "Be careful what you pray for, Sarah. Isn't that what you said to me?"

  She pushed her hair away from her face and shook her head. "I've never been free, Connor," she cried passionately. "Not once in my life have I been able to do what I wanted. This is my opportunity, and I'm not going to pass it up just because I personally don't like the man. As long as his medical credentials are good, I'm going to hire him. And the next day I'm going to pack my bag and buy an airplane ticket to somewhere far away."

  His face softened, and she thought she saw regret in his eyes. "Sarah…"

  "Let's go, Connor. We're wasting time here. I thought there was a lot you had to get done today."

  "There is." He walked to the door, almost all of the stiffness gone. In a day or two she wouldn't be able to tell that anything had happened to him.

  Stepping out into the bright noon sunshine, she squinted and looked at him. "Where are we going?"

  "My mother's house. I want to look through what's there, see if there's anything about my father's death."

  She looked at him, appalled, as her elation dissipated like air flowing out of a balloon. "You don't think your mother had anything to do with it, do you?"

  "No. She might have suspected, though. There might be a note, a diary, I don't know, something to give me a clue."

  "So we're going to look through her papers and things?" The idea of looking through the personal belongings of a woman long dead was faintly disturbing. She didn't want to pry into another woman's secrets.

  "That's the idea. I was at her house the other day, but was too weak to do anything." He glanced at her as they walked slowly down the sidewalk. "There wasn't much. It shouldn't take too long."

  "It doesn't matter," she said quickly. "I don't care how long it takes."

  After a while he said, "She won't care, Sarah. She'd want us to get to the truth." His voice was gentle. "And it doesn't bother me to have you there. Okay?"

  "Okay. It just feels like prying."

  "It is," he said frankly, "but it's necessary. Murder is a very uncivilized crime."

  They turned down the sidewalk of his mother's house and walked up the porch steps. Although the house was old, it had been recently painted and it didn't look like a typical empty house. None of the windows were broken, the stairs were in good repair and she could see where several clapboards had been replaced.

  "It doesn't look as if this house has been empty for years."

  He glanced over at her, surprised. "Why should it? I've been paying to have it taken care of for the past ten years."

  "Oh." Everyone in town had assumed that once Connor had taken off, no one had heard from him again. Obviously someone had.

  They walked in the front door, and Connor switched on a light. The furniture in the living room was covered by sheets and resembled a series of misshapen ghosts. Dust hung in the air, but the general air of neglect she'd expected was absent. Someone had indeed been taking care of this house.

  "Where should we start?"

  "Come sit down for a minute before we start." Connor took her wrist and steered her toward the couch. After pulling off the sheet, he sat and tugged her down next to him.

  Turning to look at him, she said, "Okay, what's the plan?"

  For the first time since he'd been in Pine Butte, he forgot the plan. The only thing he could think about was how his next words were going to hurt her. He'd give anything if he didn't have to tell her. After what she'd said in the clinic about her dreams and plans, he knew he'd break her heart. But he couldn't stand by and let her hire Perry Cummings. Even if it meant he had to reveal who he was.

  "The house can wait for a minute," he said abruptly. "We need to talk about Perry Cummings."

  She looked at him sharply. "How did you know his last name? I don't think I ever mentioned it to you."

  "No, you didn't. I know him." He took her hands in his. He had to hold onto her while he told her. "You can't hire him, Sarah. He's bad news."

  She tried to pull away, but he held on tighter. "What do you mean, he's bad news? Why can't I hire him?"

  "He uses drugs," he said bluntly. "The reason he wants to come to work here is that things are getting too hot for him in Denver. He's going to lose his job there soon, and he knows he won't be able to get another one."

  "But … that's impossible. He may have been a little too slick for me, but he seemed perfectly normal otherwise. He didn't look like a drug user." She sounded desperate.

  "And what do they look like, Sarah?" he asked grimly. "They don't all have needle tracks up their arms, and dilated pupils. A lot of them look just like you and me."

  "Then how do you know he uses drugs?" she challenged.

  "Because I've seen him do it," he answered flatly. "And I know he's still doing it because of the way he was blowing his nose. Heavy cocaine users almost always have a runny nose."

  She stared at him, horror in her eyes. "How could you have seen him using drugs?"

  "It was at a party. He and a couple of the other people there started snorting. Once the drugs came out I didn't stick around, so I don't know how much he did, but he sure acted like he knew what he was doing."

  She leaned forward and gripped his hands too tightly. "Who are you, Connor? What have you been doing for the past twelve years? Why do you know about Perry Cummings?"

  He stared at her for a long moment, holding her hands tightly. He felt as if he was about to step off a cliff into an abyss, not knowing if there would be a net there to catch him. Could he trust her with this part of himself?

  Her blue-green eyes were wide with fear. Fear for him, he realized suddenly. It was like taking a blow to his chest. She was afraid that he had been involved in whatever seamy underside of life had infected Perry Cummings. She wasn't afraid of him, she was afraid for him. Something moved in his heart, and feelings he'd thought long dead swept over him.

  He ached to tell her the truth. He didn't want to keep secrets from Sarah. But this secret, the one above all others he'd been determined to hide, stuck in his throat like a burr. All his life he'd protected himself by hiding what was important to him, by not letting his feelings show. So he hesitated, the habits of a lifetime hard to overcome.

  She turned away, and the moment was lost. "I'm not trying to pry, Connor." Her voice was painfully tight. "I know you don't want to talk about yourself, and I'm trying to respect that. But when you said you were at a party and people were doing drugs, it scared me." She turned to face him again. "I know you could never be involved in anything as ugly as drugs."

  "Thank you," he said softly. His throat swelled as he tried to tell her the truth, but the words just wouldn't come. He'd already revealed too much of himself to Sarah, and the fear paralyzed him. Calling himself every kind of coward for not telling her the truth, he avoided looking in her eyes. The hurt that shimmered from her soul was too painful to watch.

  "I'm sorry that Cummings showed up at your door this morning," he added quietly, forcing the words out of his constricted throat. "I would have given anything if it could have been someone else, someone you could have hired."

  Her eyes darkened and she jumped up abruptly, going over to stand by the window. "I feel like an utter fool," she said bitterly. "I was so eager to be free of Pine Butte that I completely ignored my own instincts about Cummings. Any judgment I possessed went right out the window when he said he wanted to practice in Pine Butte. I practically bought my airline tickets before he was out the door."

  Light from the window glowed like a nimbus around her, darkening her hair and clothes to shadows. He stepped behind her, and the smell of a floral soap drifted up to him. He couldn't touch her, not now. Not with all that remained unspoken between them. Until he told her the truth about himself, he had no right to touch her.

  But right had nothing to do with it. As if they had a will of their own, his hands reached out and gripped her shoulders. He felt her sti
ffen and instinctively try to jerk away from him. When he didn't let go, she slowly relaxed. She didn't move toward him, but she didn't try to pull away, either.

  "You're not a fool, Sarah. Not in this, not in anything I've seen. And as far as your judgment is concerned, I should have paid more attention to it." His hands tightened and then he let them drop and shoved them in his pockets. "If I had listened to you, and to what my own body was telling me, I wouldn't have gone up into the mountains yesterday. If I'd waited until I was stronger, I might have been able to catch the person who attacked me."

  She looked at him, eyes wide and stricken. "I'd completely forgotten about your head. How is it this morning?"

  "I'll live," he answered shortly. When she would have moved away, he grabbed her hands. "And don't beat yourself up about Cummings. I suspect a lot of other people have been fooled by him. He's able to control himself and he puts up a damn good front."

  For just a moment, she held onto him as if she didn't ever want to let go, then she dropped her hands and moved to the couch.

  "I guess it's a good thing I didn't order those tickets out of Pine Butte. What is it that they say? If something looks too good to be true it usually is?"

  "Someone else will come along who wants to practice in Pine Butte."

  "Yeah, in another six years." She sounded utterly defeated.

  He sat down next to her on the couch. "Why don't you hire a temporary replacement for a while every year so you can get away?"

  "We don't have the money to pay anyone. The people in Pine Butte can barely afford to pay me, let alone the kind of money relief doctors charge."

  "Couldn't your uncle afford to hire someone?"

  "I'm sure he could, but that doesn't mean he will. He could also afford to spend some of his money to hire a permanent doctor and make sure the people in this town have adequate medical care, too, but you won't see him rushing to do that, either."

  The weariness in her voice spoke of a battle too often fought and never won. "Why won't he?"

  "'There's a perfectly good hospital in Glenwood Springs, and that's just a hundred miles away. There's absolutely no reason to spend good money on a luxury like a doctor for Pine Butte'," she quoted, anger and despair in her voice.