Unfortunately for him, Lady Harding had also chosen to take a stroll in the gardens, and she just so happened to turn the corner and catch them with their lips pressed together. He could still hear her cry of anger, as well as feel the panic that had welled up inside him, and he found himself unable to stop the tumble of words that followed. Of how his intentions had been pure. Of how he had meant to ask for Mary’s hand in marriage.
The woman had gone from angry to joyous at his words, and the two had stood on the stoop of the house, waving as he rode away. What they had not expected, apparently, was to learn that he had gone away with no intentions of ever returning to Cornwall.
Lady Harding cleared her throat, breaking John from his thoughts. “My apologies,” she said, “but I believe I left my reticule in our carriage. Would your butler accompany me to retrieve it?”
“Of course.” John replied. He pulled the bell chord. “My man can retrieve it for you, if you would rather.”
“No, I must see to it myself.”
John nodded, and when Chamber arrived, he explained the assignment. When the woman and the butler were gone, he turned to Mary.
“I am sorry for all this,” she said. “My mother refuses to listen. She continuously demands we marry.” She sighed. “I am unsure what you wish, but I must be truthful with you.”
“Please,” John said, surprised. “I will do the same.”
“Although I thought our kiss to be pleasant,” the woman said as she looked down at her hands, “I must admit that I have no feelings for you.” She looked up at him, tears rimming her eyes. “You see, I am in love with another, Lord Laskey by name. We met at a party last month, and I admit we have grown quite close in the recent weeks. Please, I do not mean to upset you.”
John stared at her in amazement. And joy! “You are?” The woman nodded. “That is fantastic! You see, I have found a woman myself, and I must admit that I have fallen head over heels for her.” He paused and walked over to the writing desk. When he returned, he handed Mary the letter he had written to her.
“What is this?” she asked.
“An apology,” he replied. “I had meant to post it to you tomorrow, but now that you are here… Read it later; it explains the man I was and the man I have become.”
Mary nodded and slipped the letter into her pocket. “What are we to do about this matter? She will not listen to me and has taken complete control over my life these past months.”
John thought for a moment. There was only one thing he could do. The woman was possessive of Mary—she had always been thus as far as he knew—and would insist she remain near her even after her daughter was married. Perhaps he could use that to their favor.
“When your mother returns, whatever I say, agree with me. No matter what, you must agree.”
Mary scrunched her brow but nodded, nonetheless. “I will.”
John returned to his seat just as Lady Harding returned, and he rose as if he had been sitting there all along. Once the woman was seated once again, he said, “You have expressed your desire that I marry your daughter, and I have come to the realization that I must accept.”
Mary had a panicked look on her face, but she said nothing, much to John’s relief.
Lady Harding gave a derisive sniff. “I am glad you have come to your senses,” she said. “We shall begin the planning for a grand wedding at once. My sister Martha will be in attendance, as will my cousin William and his family.”
“That is what I wished to discuss with you,” John said. “You see, my finances as of late are not what one might consider ‘stable’. Unfortunately, I cannot afford a large wedding. However, that will change once we return from India.”
“India?” Lady Harding asked with eyes wide. “What is in India?”
“I have been in London to make arrangements to do business there with Lord Laskey. Do you know him?”
“I do,” Lady Harding said as she glanced at her daughter. “Mary has spoken to the man in the past.”
John suppressed a smile. “You see, he is a man of wealth, far greater than I.” Lady Harding’s eyes widened, and John could see the greed in them. As he suspected; her concern had little to do with the daughter’s virtue and more to do with the money the mother hoped to garner. “You see, I will be in his employ, and with Mary as my bride, we shall raise our children in India.” He turned to Mary and flashed her a smile. “What do you think of this plan? Do you accept this arrangement?”
“To go to India and possibly never return?” Mary asked. “It is a wonderful idea…”
Lady Harding jumped from her seat. “My daughter will not be married to a man who is nearly bankrupt!” She was close to shouting. “Nor one who wishes to whisk her away from her family. Come, my dear, we have no reason to remain.”
“But, Mother,” Mary said as she rose from her seat, “what am I to do in Cornwall?”
She could be in the theater, John thought with a silent laugh.
“You will return Lord Laskey’s card, that is what you will do,” her mother snapped. “He is by far a more suitable prospect for you.” Chambers helped the women into their cloaks, even as Lady Harding continued to rant. “You will marry a gentleman such as Lord Laskey, and certainly not a rogue!”
John feigned offence but then sighed. “Perhaps that would be for the best. Lord Laskey is known for great wealth. If I take on the majority of his foreign accounts, and with the bulk of his businesses near Cornwall, he would never have a need to leave for India.”
“And that is what is needed,” her mother replied with a firm nod. “Taking my daughter across the world, indeed! Good evening to you, Lord Stanford.”
John gave her a deep bow. “And good evening to you, Lady Harding.”
She turned to her daughter. “Come, dear. We have a long journey tomorrow.”
Mary sobbed into her gloves, but when she looked up at John, her eyes twinkled with mirth and she wore a secretive smile. “Thank you,” she whispered.
John smiled and closed the door behind the two women. Running away had been a huge mistake, he realized, but he had finally faced his demons. Or rather that one demon, he thought with a laugh. No, that was cruel.
The sound of voices outside made him peek through the curtains of the front window, and he groaned when he saw Hannah and Isabel speaking to Lady Harding and Mary. He opened the door just as Hannah stepped onto the stoop, and he could see the tears on her cheeks even before she reached the door.
***
The breeze blew at a gentle, but steady, pace, causing Hannah to shiver as she and Isabel emerged from the carriage. Several of the homes on the street had light glowing in the Windows, including John’s, which brought her a rush of hope that he was safe. She pulled her shawl in tighter just as two women exited the house. One of the women was close to Hannah’s age and the other was much older. Her mother perhaps? Regardless, the woman wore a scowl that matched the blackness of her dress.
“That man is a rogue!” the older woman said. “Have no doubt that he will steal your virtue, make promises of marriage, and then run like the bankrupt coward he is!” She turned to the younger woman beside her, who stood with her head low. “Come, Mary, let us leave this dreadful place!”
Confusion and fear returned as Hannah watched the young woman being led off. Could it be true? Was John a rogue who had taken advantage of that poor woman with the promise of marriage only to run away?
She turned to Isabel, attempting to stave off the fear that swirled inside her. “I must speak to him.”
Isabel glanced up at the house. “Perhaps we should return later.”
“No,” Hannah replied firmly. “I must speak to him now.”
The look Isabel wore told Hannah what she already feared to be true; that the women who left had spoken the truth concerning John. However, Hannah had to find out for herself. Unfortunately, she could not stop the tears from flowing. She had spent the last three hours fretting over his safety, and this last had been the point of br
eaking.
The door opened and John stood there, as handsome as ever. “Hannah, I am sorry for missing dinner this evening. Unfortunately, I had an unexpected guest, and I did not anticipate they would remain for as long as they did.”
“Who was she?” Hannah demanded, trying to maintain her composure and knowing she was failing miserably.
John shifted from one foot to another. “An old friend.”
Hannah recalled the conversation between her and Forbes. Did she have any doubts? Now she certainly did.
“Her name?”
“Miss Harding. Mary.”
“I will ask you this only once,” she said, struggling to keep her voice calm, “and I do not wish to hear lies. Were you to marry her?”
John closed his eyes. “It was a misunderstanding,” he replied. “I can assure you that Mary left here tonight happy and is returning to the man she loves. Which, I might add, is not me.”
Hannah shook her head. What lies this man spouted! What she had seen was not a content woman but a woman who hung her head in shame and hurt, both far from happy.
“Her mother spoke of her virtue…” She was unable to finish the thought. The mere thought of what could have been crushed her.
“I will not lie,” John said. “We shared in a kiss. It was only once, and her mother caught us. It was in fear that I promised to marry the woman. However, I immediately came to London to get away from them.”
“You told me you wanted a fresh start,” Hannah snapped. “That was a lie.” He went to reply, but she continued. “Then I find your love of books and nature was a lie. Last year you kissed a widow. When do the lies end?”
John hung his head, but Hannah was not finished, not yet. She had one more question to ask.
“The night you returned from dinner with Miss Oakley?” she asked, afraid to know the truth. “I noticed there was a strand of blond hair on your coat. Did you…” she swallowed hard. Did she want to know the truth? Yes, she did. “Did you kiss her, as well?” Her heart raced, and she willed him to tell her that he had not. That her fears were unjustified, yet, as soon as he sighed, she knew the truth. Her heart broke into a thousand pieces.
“The truth is, she kissed me,” he replied.
Hannah shook her head in wonderment. Did this man ever stop lying?
“I swear!” he said. “It was she who kissed me! I had meant to leave, and she gave me a kiss, which I did not want. And when she did, I immediately regretted that it happened.”
Hannah clenched her fist. The man had no honor. Did he honestly expect her to believe that a woman such as Miss Oakley had been the instigator of a kiss? And that he had not enjoyed it? She fought back the hysterical laughter that bubbled up inside her. “I do not believe you,” she replied. “You are a liar and a rogue. Everything about you is a lie, and I wish to never see you again.”
She turned to leave, but he caught her arm. “Wait!” he said. She looked down at his hand and he released her, but she did not move. “I admit that, until the day I met you, I was what you say. My actions were not that of a gentleman. However, I swear to you on everything dear to me that I am a changed man. You changed me, and I have put those ways behind me.”
Hannah studied the man she had grown to love, her heart clenching. “Goodbye, John.” As the words left her lips, she knew they were meant as a final farewell. No longer would they share in laughter or attend parties, and even worse, share in the laughter they once had. For Hannah had experienced love, and now, as she hurried away as the man she loved called to her, she vowed to never love again.
Once inside the carriage, Isabel embraced her. “What is it? What did he say?”
Attempting to compose herself, Hannah leaned back in the seat. “It is true,” she said, surprised at how even her voice sounded. “He was meant to marry that woman. And Miss Oakley? He kissed her, as well. He has kissed many women, tricking them as he did me…” Her words trailed off as the night of the circus entered her mind. “He told me he loved me and kissed me, too.”
“Oh, Hannah,” Isabel said. “I am so sorry.”
The carriage jostled forward, and Hannah felt numb.
“If I would have even had the slightest idea he was like this,” Isabel said, “I would never have allowed him near you.”
“This is not your fault,” Hannah assured her sister. “It is mine.”
Isabel gasped. “Do not say such a thing!”
“Why not?” Hannah demanded. “It is only the truth. From the moment I saw him, I went against everything I believed. I allowed him to enter my heart, and now it is broken.” She sniffed. “I knew this would be the outcome of love.”
Isabel took Hannah’s in hers. “There was a time after Arthur when I thought the same as you. It was the darkest time of my life. Then I met Laurence, and I can tell you that love is possible after you have been hurt. It may not be with John, but perhaps one day with another man. However, you should never swear it off completely.”
Hannah recalled first seeing John. The way his smile had captivated her, how his words warmed her. She had been naive, much like Lady Ellen from the writing society had said. The notion of love and dreams were true, but Hannah had thought herself wiser than other women when in reality she was not.
She had strayed from her original dream, and now she made a vow she would always keep. “There is nothing for me here in London,” she said. “I will never fall in love, nor will I complete my book. Stories are nothing more than fiction, and although stories end in happiness at times, reality ends in heartbreak, and the pain is worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life. I will never put myself in that position again.”
Isabel drew her into her, and Hannah wept as the carriage continued its journey through the streets of London. Her purpose tonight had been to find the man she loved, but now she wanted nothing more than to never see him again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The wine helped sooth the trembling brought on by her sadness and anger, but it did little to ease the pain in her heart. Hannah sat in the drawing room before a roaring fire, and she stared at the dancing flames without seeing them. Isabel had gone to bed twenty minutes earlier leaving Hannah alone with her thoughts. Thoughts of the happy expectations she had held for her life. Thoughts of John asking for her hand in marriage. Of them dancing together at parties. Of them dining together with her mother. Of her completing her book.
However, the opportunity for such events happening had passed. She would return home with her mother next week and never return to London, or leave Scarlett Hall ever again, for coming to London had been a mistake. She had been right all along; love had no place in her life. All she had was her writing, and that would have to do.
The door opened, and her mother entered the room, a book in her hand. She walked over and poured herself a glass of wine before joining Hannah on the couch.
“Isabel informed me of this evening’s events,” her mother said as she glanced at the fire. “I am sorry for your heartbreak.”
“It was foolish for me to come here,” Hannah said with a sigh. “The season is not the place one goes to fulfill one’s dreams, but rather one of hurt. It is where dreams end and the truth reveals itself.”
“And what truth is that?”
“That love does not exist. Men seek their own carnal pleasure and will say anything in order to assuage it.”
“His Grace is not that way,” her mother said. “Nor is…”
A sudden burst of anger had Hannah jump from her seat. “Do you not see what you have done to me?” she shouted, unable to keep the hateful words from tumbling from her lips, her ire was so great.
“And what have I done?” her mother asked, her face full of sorrow.
However, Hannah would not allow the woman to play her games. “You promised that the season would be one of happiness for me! I wanted to remain at Scarlett Hall because I knew that something such as this would happen. I wish I had never come!” She knew she was acting like a child
, but she could not help herself. If a tantrum was what it took to release her hurt, then as a child she would behave! Otherwise, she would explode if she kept her feelings bottled inside.
“Until tonight, you were pleased you came,” her mother said. Hannah wondered how she could remain calm in the face of her daughter’s anger. “You spoke of your love for John, your dream of completing and publishing your novel. Do you no longer want either of those things?”
Hannah gave a mocking laugh. “How could I write about something that does not exist?” she demanded.
“Tell me what happened,” her mother said. “Concerning John.”
Hannah sighed and sat beside her mother. “It began when I first met him…”
She poured out her heart, explaining how she had been intrigued by him, how he had used her love of reading to get to her, lying in the process, and ending with their first kiss at the circus. She felt a sense of relief when she finished.
“And tonight, learning what I had about Miss Harding and Miss Oakley, well, I knew he could never love me. He has lied to so many women, how can I possibly trust that he is not lying to me?
Her mother sighed. “I understand the heartache you are enduring. In time, you will heal from it, I promise. I do not expect you to meet another man anytime soon, but in time you will learn from this. Furthermore, the season is long and far from over. Why give up now?”
Hannah shook her head. “I will return with you to Scarlett Hall and never leave again.”
“I see,” her mother said before taking a sip of her wine. “And your dream of publishing? Are you willing to leave that here in London, as well? And what of John? Do you wish to never see him again?”
The latter question made her pause as a familiar longing flashed inside her. However, she pushed it aside. “May I return?” she demanded.
Echoes of the Heart: Secrets of Scarlett Hall Book 2 Page 19
