For All to See (Bureau Series Book 1)

by Megan Mitcham

  Nathan’s gaze remained on her face. He used the edge of her shirt and wiped away the tear stains on her face and chest. After tossing the tank top toward the hamper, his hot touch turned her to the bed and gave a nudge. She climbed onto the mattress and he followed close behind. His arm coiled around her waist. Her exposed back met his naked front. He entwined their hands and nestled them in the valley just above her breasts.

  With his body bracing hers, sleep welcomed her back.

  Madelyn woke first. Or probably more accurately, he feigned sleep and let her get up first. She dashed to the dresser, grabbed a shirt, and ran for the bathroom. After taking care of the essentials, like combing her tangled mess of hair, brushing her teeth, and rubbing some moisturizer on her puffy eyes, she hurried to the kitchen to make breakfast, not even pausing long enough to see if his eyes were open.

  She yanked out the blender, grabbed an assortment of fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds, and spread everything out on the island.

  “You’re energetic this morning.” Nathan rubbed a hand over his bruised abdomen and slid her a calculating smile.

  She jerked her gaze away and considered a bag of raw almonds. “Are you allergic to anything?”

  “Avoidance. Interesting.” He dragged out both words.

  “Not avoidance,” she insisted, avoiding a glance at his side of the room. “I need to know for breakfast.”

  “I’m allergic to murderers, rapists, and thieves. Irritation settles in my trigger finger and it doesn’t let up until I’ve cuffed them or shot them.”

  She looked at him. “Wouldn’t that make you a murderer?”

  “I said shoot. I didn’t say kill. I prefer them alive and in pain, so they can serve their time stripped of their freedoms.”

  Madelyn filled the blender, covered it, and hit the button.

  “Oh, I think I’ll catch a burger in town or something.” Nathan hollered over the noise. His nose scrunched and his head swung back and forth.

  When the mix was smooth she turned off the machine and flashed him a grin as devious as the one he’d given her. “I’m making this special. Just for you.”

  “You really shouldn’t have.”

  “Don’t puss out on me now. I have a maniac after me. I can’t go to the gym. And school is out for two weeks. I need you in tip-top shape and this is just the thing to get you there. It’s packed with chlorophyll, anti-oxidants, and natural vitamins.”

  “What activity do you have in mind?” His thick brows waggled.

  “Running’s probably not a good idea today. Kayaking and snorkeling are probably out too. How about sailing?”

  He pursed his lips and shrugged. “I was thinking sex, but I guess sailing would be okay.”

  30

  “You have your own yacht?”

  Deacon blew past them and hopped onto the boat, showing the first sign of spunk she’d seen since the incident.

  “She was a gift.”

  “From who, the Sultan of Brunei?”

  Madelyn nudged him with her hip and pointed to the gold scrawl on the back of the navy ship.

  Nathan’s dark gaze followed her finger. “Lady Catherine.” He read the ship’s name aloud. “Lady Catherine?”

  “My grandmother.”

  “Y’all were close. I can see it in your smile.”

  “She raised me…until I was eleven. She died when I was nineteen.”

  He watched her intently, maybe waiting for her to elaborate. She strained to hold onto the falling arch of her mouth. “Have you ever sailed before?”

  “A fifteen-foot Vanguard off the coast of Georgia with my cousins, but nothing like this.”

  The bubbling anxiety fizzled out and she stepped onto the teak deck. Her hand ran over the smooth composite of the boom. “I’ll show you the rigging, but it’s not much different than that. How long ago was it?”

  She suddenly realized she didn’t know anything about him except that he worked for the FBI and lived in Miami, and he liked steak.

  “Twelve years.” He stepped onboard, adjusted the bag he carried for her, and then bracketed his hands on the boom. She was trapped by his intense stare more than his body. “It’s just like riding a bicycle, right?”

  “Sex?” she gasped.

  “Sailing.” He grinned and stepped into the cockpit.

  Madelyn shook off the embarrassment and uncovered the mainsail. “Do you have any siblings?”

  “Nope. But I’m pretty close with my cousins, even though we grew up in different states.”

  “How many cousins?”

  “Just two. Ava and Ford.”

  “Older? Younger?”

  “Yes, counselor. Ava’s older by a few years and Ford is younger by a few months.”

  Madelyn tossed the cover at him. He dodged the damn thing easily. She stepped into the cockpit, but stayed on the bench seat, making her a couple of inches taller than Nathan. “You’re staying in my house, sleeping in my bed, and I don’t know anything about you.”

  “You know about as much about me as I know about you.” His finger slid under the hem of her top and danced along the edge of her shorts, tickling the skin of her belly. Her eyes closed at the exquisite pleasure the pad of his finger persuaded. “I figure we can get to know each other a little better today.” His touch fell away and her eyes popped open. He winked. “You know by…talking.”

  She planted both hands on his shoulders and pressed him out of her way. “Tease.”

  “Not teasing. I want you to talk to me. I want to know you more than I’ve wanted to know pretty much anything. And I’m a curious guy.”

  Deacon stood at the front of the ship and barked once, twice, three times. Nathan went rigid until she laughed. “That’s dog speak for get a move on it. He likes to chase dolphins.” The coded padlock clicked under her fingers and then released. One at a time she slid out the teak guards and stored them. “Why don’t you go put our stuff below deck. I’ll get us sailing and we’ll see about the rest.”

  The cobalt sky hung above them, expansive, yet crowded by cotton candy clouds. Wind billowed the sail. They clipped through the teal water for the better part of two hours. Their faces arched to the sun. Sea-spray stifled the worst of the heat.

  A small steady gust keeled the ship, pulling the cable railing toward the surf. Absolute euphoria lightened Madelyn’s frame. She gripped the wheel and whooped. Deacon yowled.

  “Two little daredevils.” Nathan’s strong legs braced against the opposites side of the bench seating.

  “It’s the freedom,” she hollered. “Nothing compares.”

  “You mean, nothing yet,” he corrected.

  All of the sudden her damp hair and the cool breeze did nothing to stifle the heat that washed over her. “Nothing yet,” she mouthed. Deacon barked in rapid-fire succession, making her jump. Her gaze swung opposite Nathan to where her dog bounced on his front feet in the crook of the cockpit and stretched toward the cresting water. “Dolphins.” She nodded at the rolling backs of the bow of the ship.

  Nathan’s pearly whites flashed wide and the dimple at his chin deepened. A pod of three kept alternating time with them for a quarter mile, and then set out on the blue. “That was awesome.”

  Seeing him so relaxed and excited, and knowing she’d given that to him, made her agree. “It was. Are you hungry?”

  “Always. What’s on the menu?”

  “There’s a tiny island not far from here. It’s not more than a pile of sand and some shrubs. We’ll drop sail in a minute and the current will carry us in. Have you dropped an anchor before?”

  “Is that a euphemism?” He smirked, and then held up a hand. “I have. Just holler when you’re ready.”

  Boy, her bathing suit bottoms were soaked through and she’d never been so ready. But having sex with Nathan would mean something she wasn’t ready for.

  “You weren’t kidding about small. Is it on a map?”

  “Yep, but it’s only a spec.”

  “Do you come here
a lot?”

  “All the time. Deacon likes to chase the fish. I read or just sit and contemplate the big questions in life.”

  “Which questions are those?”

  “What is the purpose of life? What do I want to be when I grow up? Why do men leave the toilet seat up?”

  A deep chuckle left Nathan’s throat. He dolled her an unapologetic smirk. “It’s in our genetic code.”

  She lowered the sails in preparation. Given the word, Nathan released the hunk of metal from the bow. Madelyn moved to the stern letting the ladder down into the water and unlatched the safety cords above it.

  Hopping down through the hatch she retrieved the watertight bag she had prepared at home. She checked the anchor line and then launched the bright yellow bag out into the blue. Then she wiggled out of her strapless cover, revealing a simple yet lethal black string-bikini as she dove in to meet the bag.

  31

  Nathan, a trained observer, didn’t gawk, but also didn’t miss one inch of her lean, yet voluptuous figure before the water distorted the details. The only parts he didn’t see were the small—but important ones—covered by scraps of material. His mind explored the possibilities.

  “Heaven help her. She doesn’t have a chance.” He knew his touches and flirtations affected her from the flush in her cheeks and the look in her eyes. And he wasn’t the type to give up.

  Coming up for air she turned back to the boat. “FBI, can you swim?”

  “Are you kidding?” He tugged the polo from his torso and tossed it to the deck, leaving only khaki shorts hanging low on his hips. He removed the gun and holster from his hip and scaled the mast.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Proving a point.”

  “You’re insane. I get it,” she squealed.

  Reaching the spreader midway up the queen’s mast, he took a running leap, and completed a forward double summersault into the water. He slipped smoothly into the lukewarm water. Still, the ripple of dispersing water rankled his abdomen. Showing off while battered sure as shit wasn't his brightest idea. But the look of excitement on her pretty face when he jumped paid for every ache.

  He popped up inches from her disapproving scowl. “Your ribs!”

  “Wanna kiss ’em and make ’em better? I’ve always had a naughty nurse fan—” She lunged at him and braced both hands on either side of his shoulders. Salty seawater covered his head.

  Nathan popped up closer this time. He hooked her knees and wrapped them around his torso. The tread of his legs and the slow steady sway of his arms and hers kept them afloat, but the zap of skin-to-skin contact threatened to pull him under. Currents and waves flirted with intimate flesh. The conductive properties of water amplified the power of her draw.

  Madelyn’s treading slowed. The curve of her breasts and the black triangles covering them rose and fell in time with her accelerated breaths. “I…”

  He stopped breathing all together waiting for the words to come out of her mouth. I want to kiss you. I’m falling in love with you. I could come right now. I don’t think we should do this. Possibilities and expectation drove him mad.

  “I need to get the bag to shore,” she said in a rush. Her legs unwound from his middle.

  “Chicken.” He taunted with a smile.

  She shoved him under again. When he came up she sidestroked furiously for the shore, pushing the watertight bag with her lead arm. He dug in. Water frothed and bubbled around him.

  Madelyn’s squeal and giggles drifted back. Nathan let out a whistle for Deacon and the dog launched off the edge of the boat. He hit the surface and it rippled like an actual cannon ball had landed in his place. They raced for shore.

  Nathan snagged the bag about ten meters from the break and had their lunch nearly prepared by the time she and Deacon made landfall.

  “Always have to prove a point, don’t you,” she said, collapsing back on the beach blanket he’d laid out.

  “Maybe.” He tossed her a bottle of water and sat next to her.

  Waves lapped at their feet. Two boats, no more than specs, dotted across the horizon while they ate in companionable silence. After he stored the container, Madelyn laid down, stretching her lithe body in the sunlight.

  Nathan hadn’t pushed her. Hell he’d only known her a few days, but his crazy yearning to know her pressed the matter. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Yes, you can ask. But the answer is no.”

  He arched a brow.

  She cupped a hand over her eyes and tilted her head toward him. “No, I won’t sleep with you.”

  “Sure you will, but that wasn’t my question.”

  Her eyes rolled heavenward, but she didn’t look away.

  After a minute passed, he began again. “Do you honestly believe you don’t deserve to be happy?”

  “I…what?” She scrambled off her back. “I never said that I… I’m happy.” Her knees tucked under her bottom and she pointed them in his direction. “Or at least I was before last week. You don’t know what you’re talking about?”

  “I know you punish yourself. I know you didn’t want your mother dead.”

  “Didn’t I? I’d wished her dead so many times, I lost count.”

  “Wishing someone dead and killing them are two very different things.”

  “And I did both. So…” She snatched up the metal water bottle, unscrewed the cap, and then twisted it back on without taking a drink.

  “Did she hurt you?”

  “She still does.” Her knuckles whitened as she attempted to strangle the metal. “Every damn day.”

  “What happened?”

  “Everyone has a past, Nathan. I like to leave mine there.”

  “But you don’t. It’s always with you, buffering you from humanity.”

  “I’m engaged with my community.”

  “Yeah, a group of people. Mostly kids. But get you alone or even in an intimate group and you draw so deeply inside yourself no one can touch you.”

  “And you don’t?” She slammed the bottle onto the fabric and pointed an accusing finger at him. “I’ve seen your mask too.”

  “We all have them.”

  “People don't want to know where their food comes from, they just want it there. The truth of it is ugly enough to twist their stomach, to make them look at their favorite burger with disgust and never eat it again. Same thing here. You don’t want to know.”

  “You don’t want me to know.” Nathan countered more loudly than he’d intended. She blinked at his sharp tone. He took a breath and forced himself to calm. “You’re afraid I’ll look at you with disgust and never want to touch you again. Or worse, that I’ll pity you. Am I afraid you’ll look at me like I’m a terrified seven-year-old when you find out I was forced to watch my mother be beaten and gang raped?”

  Madelyn’s cheeks matched the color of the white sand. Her fingers interlaced and she shoved them between her thighs. But no gasp or cry of horror escaped her lips.

  “Fuck yes,” he said in answer to his own question. “But I’d have told you, if you’d asked. Because I trust you.” He pulled his knees up and rested his forearms on them. “Trust isn’t a grand gesture. It’s a small, nearly insignificant, thing to the rest of the world, but to the person who deserves your trust…it’s everything.”

  “I didn’t think you would tell me. So, I didn’t ask.” She twisted toward the surf, hiked her knees up, and propped her arms atop them mirroring his pose. “I’m asking now. Is that why catching the bad guys is so important to you?”

  “When I started out it was the only reason. Then as I did the job the reasons—the fuck-head pieces of shit of the world—kept piling up.”

  “Tell me about it?” Her whisper was almost caught in the wind and carried to the corners of the world.

  “I grew up in a poor neighborhood in Miami and saw things no one should. Prostitutes on the street corners. Gang-bangers in the open. Drugs down any alley. It was all I knew, and we managed all right. We kept
our heads down and kept walking. But one night my mom and I stopped at the corner store for milk and bread. When we came back to the car the men were waiting. The whole time it was happening she reassured me. She told me everything was going to be okay. She told me to look away and think of the summers I spent in Georgia. She told me to think of good things while she went through hell.”

  Tears welled in Madelyn’s eyes, but they didn’t fall. “You were both going through hell.”

  “Yes,” he agreed. “I kept thinking they were going to kill my mother and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it. Shortly after the incident my father left. The coward couldn’t handle her trauma. What a weak bastard.” Nathan grunted in disgust.

  “What about your mom? How did she recover?”

  “My mom is amazing. She didn’t break or fade away. The opposite actually. She went back to school, finished her degree, and became a therapist. Her practice is in the same parking lot as the old gas station where it happened. She councils rape and trauma victims, travels the world speaking on the subject.” He dusted some sand off his leg and breathed for the first time since he’d started talking.

  “I focused all my effort on becoming an agent. I spent the last eight years putting bad guys behind bars. And the one thing I have learned is that there are always more bad guys.”

  “Nathan, there are good guys too, and good things. You have to remember that.”

  He turned to her and peered directly into her soul. “I know there are.”

  32

  “I want to be strong like your mom.”

  “You are strong, Madelyn. A little too strong. You don’t have to have it together all the time. Trust me, there were plenty of ugly days in our house.” He gave a wry chuckle and his chin dimple flexed, stealing another piece of her heart. “There are still ugly days…especially when I try and convince her to move to the Georgia suburbs and open up shop near my uncle.”