Game On Askole (Coletti Warlords)

by Gail Koger

  “Talree won’t let that happen.” Kaylee clasped me to her chest, and presto. We were back on the terrace. My poor cousin ended up giving everyone a ride. After an hour of teleporting to and from the woods, she called it quits.

  “No more. You’re wearing me out.”

  I handed her a beer. “Take a load off.”

  “Are those chips from Popos?”

  “They are. Detja went to a lot of trouble for you,” Jake responded.

  Kaylee took a chip, dunked it in the salsa, and ate it. “These are the best.” She sank down on a padded chair at the gaily decorated table and drained her beer. “God, I needed that.”

  Uncle Derek took the chair next to her. “We aren’t going to have a choice about this conversion, are we?”

  “No. It’s a done deal. With or without your cooperation.” Kaylee’s gaze latched on to a bowl of candy-coated chocolate. “Chocolate!” She grabbed a handful and popped them in her mouth, savoring every morsel.

  Quinn spat, “I’ll never submit to the Coletti.”

  “Shut up and listen for a change,” Kaylee snapped. “The only way to win is to make changes from the inside. Bring a little truth, justice, and the American way to the Coletti.”

  “Kaylee has a valid point,” Caleb said. “They think they’re integrating us into their culture, but it’s the other way around. They won’t know what hit them.”

  “Exactly.” Kaylee grinned.

  I raised my hand. “I hate to be a party pooper, but has anyone told you about Lilkee and her army of fanatics?” I shot everyone images of her warriors.

  “Genghis Khan wannabes with pretty red armor and antlers. Don’t look like much of a threat,” Jake joked.

  “They call themselves the death bringers,” Aunt Tess added.

  I grimaced. “They think we are vile destroyers who will dilute the purity of the Coletti race. Lilkee is also in cahoots with her brother, Malik.”

  “The Tai-Kok and Rodan have joined Malik’s axis of evil. Which means Earth is still a target,” Kaylee growled.

  “Kaylee’s right. Our first priority is to take down these monsters,” Caleb commented. “We’re gonna have to suck it up and do what’s necessary. Even if it means a set of fangs.”

  Quinn erupted to his feet. “Hell, no! There’s got to be another way. I’m not giving up my humanity and becoming a bloodsucking fiend.” He stormed off.

  “He’s going to get himself killed,” Kaylee lamented.

  Ethan stood up. “We’ll talk to him.”

  All the guys trooped after Quinn.

  Casey handed Kaylee another beer and waited until she took a long swallow before asking, “What’s Talree’s equipment like? You never shared that detail with us.”

  Kaylee spewed beer all over the table. “What?”

  Every one of us pasted an expectant look on our faces. We knew a Coletti warrior’s penis was unlike a human male’s, but the chance to rib Kaylee was too good to pass up.

  “Well, their man parts are a bit different from our men’s.” Kaylee tugged at her collar. “Works the same. Just different. Like it comes with its own sex toys.”

  I hid a grin. “Sex toys?”

  “Uh, yeah. The little guys are awesome.” Desire flared to life in Kaylee’s eyes. “I get hot just thinking about them.”

  Aunt Tess raised an eyebrow. “C’mon, give us a little show and tell.”

  “Okay, here ya go,” Kaylee said with a mischievous smile.

  The image of Talree’s nude body formed in my mind. Hoo boy. The man was built.

  Sam exclaimed, “He doesn’t have any pubic hair. Where are his balls and his doodad?”

  “Wait for it,” Aunt Tess advised.

  In our mind eyes, a slit opened in Talree’s abdomen, and out it slid. His penis was snakelike with a fringe of tentacles around the top.

  “Are you shittin’ me? Another octopus?” Sam howled with laughter.

  Kaylee smacked her in the shoulder. “Hey, I hear ya. Kinda weirded me out too, but if you like orgasms that rock your world, the little guys get it done.”

  “You and Talree certainly rocked our world,” Aunt Tess gurgled.

  I shook my head. “If Lothel’s snake comes anywhere near me, I’m whacking it off.”

  Sam asked, “Want to see Tihar’s big-ass boner?” She flashed a mental picture of Tihar in all his glory.

  All my cousins shrieked with laughter. The men’s heads swiveled around to stare at us.

  “Girl talk,” I yelled at them. They shuddered and went back to their man talk.

  Sam held her hands about two feet apart. “It was huge. I’ve never seen anyone that well hung. Can you image having sex with him?”

  I could. Something drew me to Tihar.

  “Walking would be a major problem after Tihar impaled you on that sucker,” Aunt Tess muttered to me.

  She had a point. I doubted it would fit, but hey, what was life without a little risk? “I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot.”

  “Are you blind? Jeezus, Tihar looks like the result of a freaky science experiment gone wrong. I mean, c’mon. Those creepy tentacles?” Sam twitched. “It was like being groped by a freakin’ octopus.”

  “And he’s a horny bastard. Kept sniffing my private parts,” Kaylee said with a grimace.

  Aunt Tess threw a quick look over her shoulder. “Tihar groped you, and your warlord let him live?”

  “I didn’t tell Talree. He’s a bit possessive.”

  “Smart move,” Sam agreed.

  “You have no idea.” Kaylee fingered the silver band around her neck.

  I eyed the band. It had an intricate alien insignia on it. “What is that?”

  “An ownership band,” Kaylee blurted out, then took another swallow of her beer and added, “It’s their version of a wedding ring.”

  Sam slammed her bottle down. “Ownership? Like we’re property?”

  “Coletti women don’t have the same rights as we do,” Kaylee said warily.

  “Are you shittin’ me?” Sam rocketed to her feet in outrage. “No fucking way will I allow them to turn me into broodmare. I am an American. I have rights.”

  “Duh, did you forget? We aren’t on Earth anymore. There’s no bill of rights here. Women are expected to obey their menfolk, and boy, are they in for a surprise,” I inserted.

  Kaylee rubbed her forehead as if she had a raging headache. “Once the warlord does his mojo on you, it’s over.”

  “Mojo?” Aunt Tess asked pleasantly, but her eyes glittered dangerously.

  “It’s a bit like mind control,” Kaylee responded.

  “Mind control?” They could probably hear Sam’s bellow all the way back on Earth.

  Detja teleported in. I took one look at her stern, ice-queen demeanor, and groaned. The shit was about to hit the fan.

  “Be quiet. Sit down,” Detja commanded with a hard mental push.

  Sam dropped down onto her chair like an unstrung puppet. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

  I stared at Detja in stunned horror. I couldn’t move or speak either.

  “You misunderstand the bonding process.” Detja let her gaze rest on each of us. “Once a warlord has chosen and marked you, there is no escape. When the bond is completed, you will burn for your mate’s touch. Crave it. His body will be a source of comfort and stability. His mental touch will become as necessary as breathing. You will fight for him and with him. You will belong to your mate mind, body, and soul. Forever.”

  My internal radar went on full alert. I scanned for the source. “Incoming hostile,” I announced mentally.

  “Yes, she comes.” Detja immediately released her hold on us. “Prepare for battle.”

  Poof! A tall, stick-thin Coletti female wearing a pointy metal hat and bronze breastplate over a screaming-red body suit appeared on the terrace and surveyed us like we were dog poop she had accidently stepped in.

  “Say howdy to Lilkee, the paranoid whack job.” I waved at her all friendly like.
“Lookin’ for your death bringers?”

  She totally ignored me and drew her sword. Lilkee’s entire focus was on Detja. If looks could kill, Detja would be toes up.

  “Lilkee,” Detja said, her voice terse and unfriendly. “Zarek is not here.”

  The whack job smirked and stroked the hilt of her gem-encrusted sword. “I know. I came to see the pitiful female your half-breed son has chosen.”

  “Half-breed? Pitiful?” Kaylee narrowed her eyes. “One more insult, and that skinny bitch is gonna get her ass kicked.”

  “We’ll help,” I said.

  Her lips curled in contempt, Lilkee examined Kaylee from head to toe. “You are nothing but a filthy little primitive whose pathetic planet Malik plans to wipe from existence.”

  “The only one being wiped from existence is Malik.” Kaylee stood. “If you’re a smart girl, you’ll leave now before I beat the living shit out of you.”

  “I am Coletti, daughter of Zarek. You could never defeat me,” Lilkee said proudly.

  Kaylee punched her hard in the mouth, knocking her down. “Wanna bet?”

  Suddenly, two dozen Genghis Khan wannabes appeared around us.

  “Oh, hell.” I grabbed a butter knife off the table.

  “Kill them,” the whack job commanded.

  Chapter Seven

  So, there we were in another face-off with Lilkee’s Legionnaires. The fun never ended.

  The warriors rhythmically pounded their feet against the tile. “Waewae tama-nur-ra. Waewae tama-nur-ra. Waewae tama-nur-ra.”

  I held up a hand. “Wait for it.”

  “Waewae tama-nur-ra,” the Genghis Khan wannabes shouted and broke into their acrobatic sword dance.

  “Gotta say, they’ve got rhythm,” Sam announced.

  Kaylee nodded. “But can they fight?”

  “The answer is no,” Detja and I responded in unison.

  Lilkee watched them with a smug smile. “My death bringers cannot be defeated. Prepare to die.”

  “Sweetie, your death bringers couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag,” Aunt Tess said.

  Hatred flared to life in Lilkee’s eyes. “Waewae!”

  As one, all twenty-four Legionnaires charged us, chanting, “Waewae tama-nur-ra. Waewae tama-nur-ra. Waewae tama-nur-ra.”

  “Way to go, Aunt Tess,” Sam bawled, somersaulting over a flowerpot to keep from being skewered.

  Kaylee teleported before the Genghis Khan clones could turn her into a pincushion. Dodging sword thrusts, she popped all over the terrace like a crazed jack-in-the-box.

  I hurled the butter knife at one of Lilkee’s goons. It boinked him in the nose.

  “Waewae tama-nur-ra,” he yelled and lunged at me.

  Picking up a bowl of salsa, I threw it in his face and sent out a mental SOS. “Tihar! We need some help. Now!”

  Rubbing his eyes frantically, the wannabe staggered to the edge of the terrace.

  “Some water will fix you right up.” I shoved him over the railing. He hit the lake below with a loud splash.

  “God. It’s hot out here,” Aunt Tess griped, sweat rolling down her face.

  Menopause wasn’t a curse, it was an equalizer. “Bring on the horde,” I called to her, ducking a whizzing blade.

  “Sarah!” Detja tossed me a sword.

  I snatched it out of midair and deflected a sweeping blow.

  “Oorah!” Sam jumped on the back of a Genghis Khan wannabe and started punching him in the face. He spun in a circle, trying to dislodge her.

  Aunt Tess swirled a finger, and a zillion lime-green sand flies swarmed Lilkee’s warriors. For some odd reason, the flies avoided Lilkee like the plague.

  “Earth women rule!” my aunt yelled and hit a wannabe over the head with a chair.

  “We are women! Hear us roar,” Kaylee shouted. She jumped into the air and lashed out with a solid side kick. Her foot hit a goon in the stomach, knocking him over the railing. She picked up his sword with a gleeful smile and chased another goon around the terrace. “We are women. We are strong! We are invincible! Hear us roar!”

  Okey-dokey. How many beers had Kaylee guzzled down?

  “Aiieeeee! Aiieeeee!” To escape the sand flies and Kaylee, the terrified goon jumped over the terrace wall.

  Kaylee scowled. “Oh poop.” She watched the flies dive-bomb the goon flailing about in the water. “Pussy.”

  A snarling thug snuck up behind my cousin. “Behind you, Kaylee,” I yelled in warning.

  She spun around and blocked the goon’s attempt to gut her.

  “Aiieeeee! Aiieeeee! Aiieeeee! Aiieeeee! Aiieeeee! Aiieeeee!” The cries of the Genghis Khan wannabes grew louder and louder.

  Caleb and Ethan tackled the soldier trying to hack Kaylee into itty-bitty pieces and proceeded to beat the snot out of him.

  I parried another blow and scrambled backward as a blade came within an inch of my face. “Tihar! We’re a bit outnumbered here. We need help now!”

  A black blur zoomed by, and bits and pieces of three warriors went flying in every direction.

  I wiped the blood off my face and whooped as Tihar plucked a scarlet goon off Aunt Tess and turned him into sushi. “About fucking time.”

  Splat! Splat! Splat! Three more wannabes went down cocooned in webbing.

  “What the hell?” I checked the area nervously. What kind of spiders shot basketball-size webbing?

  “Get out of the way, Sarah,” Quinn snapped.

  I darted behind the table. Whoa! I knew Quinn was good with a sword, but he gave the Coletti warriors a run for their money. His blade flashed in the sun as he made mincemeat out of Lilkee’s thugs.

  Where the heck were Jake and Uncle Derek? There. The fight had spilled out into the parkland. They were duking it out with two goons who had lost their swords.

  A Chinese-looking dude in a red Alliance uniform ran out onto the terrace and began blasting away with his laser pistol.

  Yay! Kaylee must have hollered for reinforcements too.

  I laughed. Sam was riding the thug around the terrace, yelling, “Yee-haw!”

  “Look out,” Aunt Tess called.

  Avoiding a lethal thrust, I blocked a second and flung myself sideways as a third blade whizzed by.

  Tihar’s bloodcurdling battle cry rattled the windows as he pureed my attackers.

  I rolled to my feet and gasped. Detja and Lilkee circled each other, their swords clashing violently as they lunged and cut viciously.

  Her rage evident, Detja forced the skinny bitch back, blow by blow.

  Lilkee was about to meet her maker.

  I blocked another sword thrust.

  A black blur zipped by and beheaded my attacker. I flinched as more blood sprayed me. I probably looked like a survivor of one of those slasher movies.

  A scream had me spinning around. Lilkee, her face contorted with fear and rage, was flat on her back with Detja’s sword at her throat. “Legionnaires! Kill the half-breed. Kill her.”

  The remaining wannabes charged Detja with the swarm of sand flies chasing after them.

  I ran to aid Detja. To my relief, Zarek, Talree, Voss, Rho, and more Coletti warriors teleported in.

  Something dark and terrible in Talree’s eyes, he lopped off the head of Kaylee’s attacker and threw her at me. Bam! Down we went.

  His face a mask of rage, Zarek cut two goons in half, while Detja took out two more.

  “Guard the females,” Zarek ordered Detja.

  She teleported over to us.

  Lilkee grabbed her sword and scrambled to the far corner of the terrace. The pampered princess taunted, “My warriors will kill your feeble half-breeds.”

  “You’re living in dream world, bitch,” Kaylee retorted.

  I snorted. “If you haven’t noticed, your pitiful warriors are losing the fight. Big-time.”

  Voss grabbed Aunt Tess and hurled her at us. She smashed into me, knocking me back into a potted plant. “Ooof!” What the hell? Did they think we were a bunch of Frisbees?<
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  His eyes a glittering red, a gaunt Coletti shoved Sam to safety and bellowed his war cry.

  We all got the hell out of his way as his swinging sword made chop suey out of the skinny bitch’s warriors.

  A bunch of men in Alliance uniforms joined us.

  The Chinese-looking guy said, “The Coletti are the ultimate killing machines. In battle, they are unstoppable.”

  I shot Quinn a look. “Do you get it now?”

  He grimaced. “Yeah. Fangs good.”

  The last goon fell, and our fierce warriors searched the area for more bad guys to kill. The utter silence was broken by Aunt Tess’s jittery laugh. “Jeezus, it looks like a bomb went off.”

  She was right. Blood, body parts, and corpses were scattered about.

  With the cold, unblinking stare of a killer, the Overlord inspected us and gave a slight bow to Tihar and the Chinese guy. “I am in your debt.”

  The Chinese guy returned the bow. “We could not ignore Kaylee’s cries for help.”

  A faint smile touched Zarek’s cruel mouth. “Yes, quite ear-shattering.”

  “Hey, we were outnumbered and unarmed, for a while.” Kaylee saluted him with her sword.

  Tihar’s tentacles squirmed wildly about his head as his gaze skimmed over me. “Any of that blood yours?”

  “No, you arrived in the nick of time. Thanks for saving my ass.”

  “You are my chosen.”

  “Shhh. The Overlord will hear you.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him behind a small tree. “This is not the time or place for that discussion.”

  Tihar bared his fangs. “The Overlord does not frighten me.”

  “How about your dad? Are you going to go against his wishes?”

  “You are my chosen,” Tihar repeated stubbornly.

  I peeked around the tree. Everyone’s attention was focused on Lilkee, not us. “It’s about to get messy.”

  “Very messy,” Tihar agreed. He was tall enough to see over the tree.

  Talree’s expression was terrifying as he advanced on Lilkee. “You have gone too far this time. Did you think I would let you live after you dared to attack my mate? My mother?”

  “You miserable half-breed, you cannot defeat a full-blooded Coletti,” Lilkee screeched, striking Talree mentally over and over again. It was like a kitten striking a lion.