The Cats of Butterwick Sands

by Gabriella Thomas

  “All the sevens, seventy-seven,” calls Gerald as Bingo jumps up onto the booth and curls himself into a tight ball.

  Let us move on along the seafront, past the model of Butterwick made by Mr Bloom and the clock tower in the centre of Butterwick, past the fish and chip shop The Plaice to Be along the beach road. On past old Isaac’s fish stall and past the boatyard and harbour and the old boathouse where old Isaac lives. Past the ice cream stall where ‘big Al’ sells his delicious Italian ice-cream with his pure vanilla coloured cat called Whippy, down from the chip shop and on the corner stands the local pub, The Old Sea Dog. As the beach road bends around the corner at the far end of Butterwick, there are more ‘holiday let’ houses and next to these is old Miss Parr’s house where she lives with her cat Pebbles. Following the road now winding around into the backstreets, there is the combined newsagents and post office, with its resident cat, an interesting Maine Coon breed called Bourneville. Next door is Mrs Honeywell, a retired teacher and her Burmese cat Figaro. There are lots more friends and cats in the backstreets of Butterwick, but for now our old friend Ernie, the station cat at Barrow-on-Sea, is about to start off on his own adventure, let’s join him!

  10

  Ernie And The Siamese Twins

  As you may remember from the beginning of the book, Ernie is the cat of old George, the station master at Barrow-on-Sea. Once a month, Ernie leaves his human, old George, to visit one of his sisters over in Fairmile. He gives himself an extra special grooming so that his fur shines, his whiskers are polished and straight and his white bib gleams. Old George, whilst smoking his pipe on the station bench says, “Well, Ern old chap, you off to see Miss Quinn in the wool shop then? Give ’er me best and Lana of course… train is bang on time.” Old George says this every time that Ernie makes his monthly jaunt and Ernie rubs himself on George’s leg and purrs in response. He then strolls to the far end of the platform to wait for the 9.30am from London Waterloo. This train runs daily in the summer months but not in winter, so Ernie only visits his sister Lana, a very neat little ginger and black cat, between May and September.

  Lana lives with her human Miss Wendy Quinn, in a little flat above a wool shop called ‘Wendy’s Wools’. Wendy, who is now in her sixties, still runs her shop. It is a popular little shop and Ernie loves looking at all the beautiful yarns and wools in lots and lots of colours. She also sells everything needed for sewing and embroidery. Now we know that cats love balls of wool and, as a kitten, Lana thought she was in heaven chasing balls of wool all over the shop but now, as she is older she sits quietly on a crocheted blanket made by Wendy on a wicker chair near the door. Now and again, a stray ball of wool may fall on the floor and Lana will have a mischievous gleam in her eye, jump down from her chair and start patting the ball around the floor with her paw… and on a couple of occasions, when the shop was closed and Wendy was upstairs watching TV and when Ernie had come for his visit, they both became kitten-cats, running, jumping and chasing strands of loose wool. Wendy is a very kind lady with a very kind face and doesn’t mind the least at finding strings of wool all over the shop now and then. “You and Ernie are still kitten-cats really,” she would say, laughing. Many years ago, Miss Wendy Quinn and old George, the station master, had been sweethearts and had been ‘courting’ for a little while, but Wendy could not marry George, as she had to look after her aged father and they drifted apart, but old George will still ask after Miss Quinn and Miss Quinn will always ask after old George.

  Now here was Ernie, setting off on a rather bleak day, waiting for the 9:30. Old George put his pipe out and made sure his hat was on straight, as the train pulled in. He shouted, “Barrow-on-Sea, this is Barrow-on-Sea. This train will be calling at Fairmile and Barlington, terminating at Barlington. Please change here for buses to Butterwick Sands, the ‘golden shore’ of the South.Mind the doors.”

  The doors opened and Ernie got on the last carriage. The doors closed and George blew his whistle and waved his flag and the train pulled out of the station. Ernie settled himself under a train seat, tucking his paws under him and settling down for the thirty-minute journey to Fairmile. The ticket inspector on the train was called Marvin. He is from Nigeria and is always cheerful and always smiling and laughing. He knows Ernie very well, “’Ello Ernie, my friend, good to see you again. Off to see your lady friend…? why, you will be getting married soon, I reckon, and my, you do look ’andsome. ’Ave you got your ticket?” With that, he would laugh and laugh until tears ran down his cheeks. Ernie would just give a slow blink. Humans found the strangest things funny, he thought. Marvin would then tickle Ernie under his chin and Ernie would dutifully purr. Sometimes, the other passengers would spy Ernie under the seat and shout, “Look, there’s a cat!” and children would squeal and clap their hands in delight. During these moments, Ernie would shuffle himself as far underneath the seat as he possibly could, so little hands could not pull him out. At times, the passengers would tell Marvin about Ernie and Marvin would say, “Don’t worry, madam, he’s paid his fare!” and he would start laughing again until he cried.

  Ernie is quite a sleek cat and he know his way around; he knows the streets of Fairmile very well, having visited his sister there many times over the years. Ernie will go and visit Lana and then he will usually go to the bus station and wait for the 2pm bus going to Butterwick, to spend a couple of hours visiting his dad Fergus and the other cats in the caravan park, before catching a bus back to Fairmile, in time for the last train back to Barrow-on-Sea at 6.15pm, where a nice supper will always be waiting in the station kitchenette, cooked by old George of course.

  The train arrives in Fairmile at 10am and Ernie jumps briskly from the back of train. Marvin calls after him, “You ’ave a nice day, Ern, now don’t go chasin’ too many lady cats.” Ernie could hear Marvin chuckling away to himself again as he ran up the steps to the ticket barrier and slid underneath it. He strolls out of Fairmile station and down onto the High Street. Now, as Ernie knew Fairmile so well, he knew all the interesting nooks and crannies and all the cut-throughs and shortcuts to the different places in the town, he liked Fairmile. He would probably have lived here if it wasn’t for old George and for the fact that he had an important job as a station cat, not just being a pet. He trotted past lots of shops and cafes, past the ‘Fur and Feather’ pet shop, which always made him shudder and think how lucky he was not to be in there and waiting to be bought. Past the bank, where upstairs, Toots, a grey Burmese lived with her human, Mr Venn, the bank manager. As it was such a rather bleak day there were not many people out and about, so no-one hardly noticed the sleek black and white cat running along the street; aiming for Wendy’s wool shop.

  Ernie turned down into a side street where there were lots of terraced houses. He ran halfway up the street and then he turned sharply to jump onto a back garden wall; he wanted to avoid running into Gripper and his gang. Gripper is a very large, very scary and ferocious looking tom-cat with a reputation to match. All the cats knew about him and most were very scared of him and his gang. He is a dirty-white colour, short-haired with black paws and has a black patch over one eye which makes him look like a pirate. He has emerald eyes but one is always half closed due to the many fights and brawls he has been involved in over the years. One of his paws has several claws missing and one of his legs is bent and crooked, after a particularly bitter skirmish a few years ago with a rival gang; this means that Gripper walks with a limp. All in all, Gripper is a terrifying sight and even dogs will keep their distance from him. One day, Griff the Labrador from the newsagent had got some terrible scratches and went whimpering home after an encounter with Gripper!

  Gripper had once belonged to a family who had lived in the east end of London. There were lots of children in the house and Gripper had learnt early on how to look after himself and how to fight. He was often hungry, with his humans neglecting to or forgetting to feed him and so he learnt how to forage for food. When he was a year old the family
just upped and left leaving lots of mess and young Gripper behind. Gripper then became a truly wild cat, a street cat in every way, getting by on his wits and strength, Gripper is also wily and intelligent. He soon learnt of a place on the cat ‘grapevine’ where all strays, all the lost or abandoned cats, could still make a life for themselves and he made his way there… he made his way to Butterwick Sands.

  When he arrived however, he did not want to be part of the group that lived on the caravan site and fairground. “Load of losers,” he told Reggie the police cat.

  Despite feeling most put out by this new arrival, this strange looking cat, Reggie had tried to be friendly by saying, “But we’re a great bunch up here, you know. I am officer of the law and I can assure you it’s a safe place and there is no trouble finding food.”

  Gripper just scoffed, “Officer of the law, well officer I’m not staying in this dump, I am going to be an officer of my own gang, so watch out!” With that Gripper turned tail and ran off. He soon found out about the route to Fairmile. Gripper did not want to live in a small seaside town; he was used to London, the big city! He arrived in Fairmile and set about looking for stray cats who also did not want to live in Butterwick and silly cats who wanted to be tough and to be feared by other cats. Soon he had a gang of six cats. His ‘deputy’ was Jake, a very silly black cat who had a home in Fairmile but loved the excitement of being in a gang. He was rather like Jonty of Butterwick, who thought his ‘boss’ Reggie could do no wrong. The other cats in the gang were called Charlie, Linus, Rocky, Bob and Claude and so, now with his gang formed, Gripper and his gang stalked the streets of Fairmile getting into fights, hunting for food and generally making a nuisance of themselves. The gang have made their home in the now closed down old police station next to the town hall in the middle of the town. Gripper thought this was very funny and of course his gang thought it was funny too. Claude who looked as though he was wearing black stockings because of his black legs and pale body would roll on the ground giggling and singing, “We live in the police station, we are the top-cats, no-one can beat us,” and the rest of the gang would join in as well, all except Gripper of course; he would NEVER sing, he was much too tough for that!

  On the day that Ernie came to town the gang were hanging about some bins in the small back street that Ernie had turned into. Ernie had jumped onto a garden wall ready to jump down into the back gardens, to make his way to the wool shop. Just then Charlie, a large marmalade cat (who lives with a nice old lady who pampers him; something which he feels rather ashamed of, so keeps it quiet) saw Ernie on the wall.

  “Hey boss,” he said to Gripper, who was eating a piece of old bacon rind on top of the bin, “look it’s that cat from Barrow station!” Straight away Rocky, the youngest cat, a mixed sort of tabby, and Bob, who had once been a rather fetching half-Persian with blue eyes, and Linus, a tortoiseshell from Kilburn in London, perked their heads up from the bins. These cats had been strays for a long time and were known as very fast runners. As quick as a flash they were up and running toward Ernie, making low growls, fur on end and tails in the air. Out of the corner of his eye, Ernie heard the gang and then saw them coming just in time. He jumped down from the wall, running as fast as his legs could carry him, jumping from garden to garden over the garden walls and fences, as the gang behind him came ever closer. Whilst Ernie was frightened, as he had heard bad stories over the years about Gripper and his gang, and whilst his heart was beating ten to the dozen, he knew he needed to think fast… but where could he go? Where could he hide?

  He scrambled over another wall which was very high, much higher than he thought; he barely got over it and he was panting with his efforts. He jumped down hard and hurt one of the claws on his paw, which was now bleeding and sore. He looked around him and saw a small conservatory with the door slightly ajar and ran like the clappers, ducking inside. There was a tall vase in the corner and two wicker chairs. He also noticed a large cat bed in the far corner. Without thinking he jumped up and into the vase. It was a very tall vase so he slid down, his heart was beating so fast he thought he would explode; his whiskers were all bent in the vase, thank goodness he was sleek! He was standing upright in the vase and but fortunately his head and ears could not be seen over the rim. The gang had now got over the wall and were sniffing and prowling around the garden.

  “Where is he, where’d he go?” said Gripper. “I’m going to tear him limb from limb.”

  “Yeah, how dare he come on our patch,” said Jake.

  The gang carried on looking round the garden, running under bushes, sniffing round plant pots and looking round all the garden ornaments. Gripper took a look in the conservatory he was about to step inside when he heard human voices and the door opening into the conservatory. Gripper did not want to be seen by humans, he did not trust them, so fortunately for Ernie, Gripper ran out of the conservatory door, calling over to his gang, “Come on let’s go.” Six pairs of paws, tails and whiskers scrambled up the garden wall and over and they ran into the next garden. Gripper was angry as he knew that Ernie must be in that garden somewhere but where? The other cats sat around Gripper panting after their mad scramble.

  “Maybe he dug his way out,” suggested Jake.

  Gripper swiped at Jake with his paw. “Shut up, you stupid animal! Has anyone else got any bright ideas?” The other cats just sat looking down at their claws or up to the sky, anywhere but at Gripper. “Come on, let’s go,” he said, “We can go and have some fun up at the school. Let’s go and scare that Coleman and his brother Parker and then we can go and see if the Barlington gang are up for a fight in the manor house. But first I feel hungry, let’s go to the chip shop.” Gripper gave a low growl. “But I haven’t finished with that Ernie yet, just you all remember that.” With that the gang jumped over the wall and made off toward the chip shop… for Gripper’s supper!

  Of course, waiting in the vase, Ernie did not realise the gang had gone and he heard the human voices.

  “Come on Joyce, you go the front way, I’ll leave the kitchen door open for the cats and I’ll lock the back.”

  Ernie heard the man come in and heard his footsteps pass in front of him. He then heard a door being locked, before it all went quiet. Ernie remained in the vase for a few more minutes listening and only when he thought the coast was clear, he started to try and get out of the vase; unfortunately this meant tipping the vase over, where it fell and broke in pieces! Ernie was very startled by this and a bit scared and darted to run out of the door but he couldn’t get out! He saw that a door was open over on the other side, maybe he could get out that way! He made himself flat and s-l-o-w-l-y made his way into the kitchen.

  Ernie crept slowly along the kitchen floor past kitchen units and then through a rather old-fashioned beaded curtain into another room. He rounded the corner and padded softly into the room hoping to find a window open. He looked around the room; there was a green sofa with a gaily coloured throw on top and on top of that, big brightly coloured cushions and on top of them two pairs of deep blue eyes which were staring intently at Ernie. He stopped in his tracks. The eyes belonged to two extraordinary looking cats, who both were sitting very close together on the sofa. They had triangular heads and very slim, sleek and tall bodies. Their fur was cream coloured but they had dark brown ears, dark legs and very dark tails; their ears were very pointy and big. Ernie gulped, “Er he…ello madams. I’m er, really sorry, but you see I was running away from Gripper and his gang and I didn’t know where to run so I came in here by mistake and now I don’t know what to do, as I can’t find a way out and I wonder if you could help me and…”

  “Silence!” said both cats at the same time, both lifting a paw and adding, “Only speak when spoken to.” Both the cats had strange high pitched miaows, like human babies when they cry. “We are of royal birth you know. I am Princess Cleopatra and this is my sister Princess Salome so you can call us ‘your royal highnesses’, if you please.”
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br />   “Yes, if you please,” said Princess Salome.

  Ernie could not believe his eyes or his ears, “Um well, your royal, um, highnesses, er do you think you can help me… find a way out I mean.”

  He could not tell them apart but Salome spoke next, “Us, help you? But you are a common tom-cat, what family do you come from? What is your breed? What do you call yourself? Who is this Gripper, a type of bird or maybe a rat? You dare to trespass in here and ask US for help.” She turned to Cleopatra, “Really, my dear, I feel quite faint.” Cleopatra had been looking at Ernie very closely and she jumped down elegantly from the sofa. “Oh my dear please do not go near him,” said Salome, “he may have FLEAS, you know.”

  This was too much for Ernie, “Now just a minute…” he said.

  “Don’t worry, my dear,” said Cleopatra to her sister, “he is rather well groomed and clean, in fact he is a rather handsome specimen for a common cat.” She then started to circle around Ernie, swishing her tail, “Oh do come and look, Salome, he is rather sleek.”

  “Now just a minute…” said Ernie again.