The Cats of Butterwick Sands

by Gabriella Thomas

  “Well, well, where are you off to, old boy?” he had asked in surprise. Rather like himself, Horatio tended to stay indoors in the evening unless they went night fishing of course, besides they were both up at four in the morning and out in their little boat to get the days catch. Some of the catch would be kept for their lunch and supper the rest would be sold from Isaac’s stall on the prom and so he was really surprised this evening to see his deaf old cat running toward the cliff end of the prom. Old Bloom had taken his seat next to Isaac, but stood up politely when old Miss Parr, now nearly ninety and ex-headmistress at Butterwick, entered the room. The school, an old Victorian one was still used and although it been modernised, it still had the high gabled Victorian windows. Old Miss Parr shakily came in to take her seat. She was still treated with much reverence by her ex pupils who remembered the harsh discipline and the cane! “Firm but fair,” old Bloom would say, “taught us respect, not like these days, when the kids do what they like. They could do with a Miss Parr these days! Don’t make them like that anymore.” Looking around the packed pub with all the familiar faces you could also see other people such as Bill and Mildred Trotter who come on holiday to Butterwick every year and others past and present who came to stay in the B and B’s and the old hotel (now closed) that used to be the pride of Fairmile. Over there is Reno Ravioli with all his family from the Italian restaurant in Barrow and Alex and Karolina from the minimart in Butterwick. All these people knew that if the fairground and caravan park thrived again, it would be good for all the shops, cafe’s, restaurants and bed and breakfasts and maybe even the old hotel would open again. Even Mr Brewster, the arcade owner, had come back from Spain and was now talking animatedly to Bertie Peabody on the stage. At 8.10pm, a little later than scheduled, Chief Inspector Bob Mold of Fairmile police, as one of the guest speakers, called the meeting to order and invited Bertie to address the meeting. Grandpapa Giuseppe, who was seated near the trestle tables looked longingly at the food and hoped that the talking would not go on too long. He was about to sneakily reach out and grab a homemade pork pie when Mama Ravioli kicked him in the shin. Bertie spoke into the microphone, “Welcome, my friends, and thank you for coming out this evening. Welcome to what I hope to be the dawn of a new Butterwick!”

  15

  The Animals’ Meeting

  It was a cold, crisp evening with the caravan park and old fairground bathed in the light of the coloured bulbs that were still lit up every night, despite the park having been closed for so long. In this dim light, could be seen cats of all shapes and sizes, dogs, horses, donkeys, chickens, a sheep or two and even some cows. In the shadows, several foxes were slinking through the long grasses on the edge of the old swimming pool toward the big open space in front of the bumper car ride and seagulls were swooping in the dark sky. This vast space once had a magnificent carousel in its centre, with gaily painted horses going round and round and there were once little stalls dotted around and selling all manner of treats and toys. Hot dog vans, candy floss stalls and jellied eel stands were mixed in, next to stalls selling dolls and train sets and ‘penny’ toys for children. The people of Butterwick still remember hearing the old sounds of the fair and going up the cliff path full of excitement; the older people remember the barrel organ playing tunes and brass bands coming to play on a little raised stand in the corner next to the ‘hook a duck for a prize’ stall. There were lots of stalls where you could shoot, hook or throw to win ‘a fabulous prize’ or even a goldfish in a bowl. Years later, their own children would bring their children, the music was now ‘pop music’ and the rides had become bigger, scarier and faster, but people could still take home a goldfish; some of whom were still alive and had reached ripe old ages! This space so deserted for many years was now full of life again but this time with lots of different animals and birds.

  Olly Beak the owl had come out of Malachi’s barn, where he lived amongst the dark rafters in its roof and sat himself on top of the roof of the bumper car ride. There were already lots of pigeons and seagulls of course and there was Gunther taking centre stage as usual saying, “Ze seagulls will sit at the front of course, which is our right.” The other birds who were sitting on the roof started to squawk in indignation as Gunther and Sigmund his brother and other seagulls in Gunther’s gang pushed their way to the front of the roof. There were the two squabbling sparrows, which were still squabbling even though they were nearly falling off the roof and for some reason, a solitary swan which had puffed up its feathers and was sitting quite serenely on the far end of this roof… how on earth it got up there no-one knew. The chickens, Head hen Rhona, Hilary, Daphne, Lucy and Felicity had decided to sit on some bales of hay that had been left on the corner at the front of the ride. A rather fine peacock was strutting up and down in front of the hens showing off its magnificent plumage and the hens were getting all hot and flustered by this handsome specimen of birdhood. Felicity has become quite giddy with excitement and Hilary went into a faint in front of the peacock, which took absolutely no notice of them and carried on strutting and being handsome.

  Caesar the rooster was so upset by this that his cockscomb became redder and redder. “All puffed up with that stupid tail thinking he’s someone. Why, he can’t even crow!”

  “Doesn’t need to,” said Rhona rather unkindly, “now shut up and sit down!”

  The birds had set up such a cacophony of sound that all the animals now assembling also started, barking, miaowing, bleating, mooing, and neighing and so on. All around in the trees and bushes and in the darkness there were even more birds sitting on the branches. At the front of the bumper car ride, where one of the tarpaulins had fallen off one of the cars, sat Percy, Sergeant Reggie, with his deputy Jonty and Ernie from Barrow. Representing the dogs and looking rather nervous was Bilko, there were also official representatives from the birds. Even Gripper and his gang from Fairmile, who would NEVER show they were interested in the future of the park, had come up hissing and snarling and frightening any small animals and birds in their path. They took up position in the long grasses not far from the foxes but even Gripper was afraid of foxes. The vixen turned her head and gave Gripper such a steely stare.

  “Good evening,” said the fox to Gripper.

  “Good, good evening,” Gripper stuttered back as he and his trembling gang lay down to listen, as both cats and foxes agreed to just lie quietly and observe.

  It was so very strange to see so many animals of different species all together in one place, all there for the same reason. Percy suddenly stood up on his hind legs and lifted his paw seeking to bring the gathering to order. He nodded to Griff the Labrador from the newsagents in Fairmile, who was known to have the loudest bark on the coast; he bounded up to the front to bark the loudest two barks anyone had ever heard. A hush fell over the fairground.

  At the front, sat with her paws daintily tucked underneath her, was Lala and her kittens, now all grown up with their own kittens and there was Milo looking proudly at his brood. Lala blinked at Milo which in the cat world is a sign of affection, she had now become the grand mama of all the cats in the fairground. She is still rather grand at times and Milo continues to spoil her but overall, she has blossomed from the silly vain creature she once was, even though she still keeps her long fur beautifully groomed. Her youngest daughter, Lilibet takes after her mother with her dainty paws and colouring and she is sat next to her mother with her young brood and a handsome young tom-cat, who was once a stray on the park, but now is part of Milo’s very large family. Lala and Milo’s other kittens are now grown up but also stayed close to home, Martha and Woody also had their own little families, but sadly their eldest son Clarence had left the fairground, he wanted to see the world and have adventures; he had always been a little jealous of Woody, who seemed to have all the fun. Lala and Milo were very sad when he left, but now and again he would reappear and tell them all about his exploits and she looked forward to his homecomings very much and today, throu
gh the wonderful cat grapevine, Clarence had heard of the meeting and had arrived back again that morning. They had all shared a lovely chicken stew left by old Mags and now here they were all together, waiting for Percy to speak. Next to them sat Fergus, old Mags’ cat and even Kiya who had said she could not be bothered but was now fast asleep on a piece of tarpaulin. Big Roley the biggest and fattest cat in Fairmile from the industrial estate had his huge bulk across the front of this ‘stage’ rather like a bouncer would outside a human night club. No-one would dare to take Big Roley on, in fact Roley was at this moment scanning the caravan park looking for Gripper as a favour to Fergus his old chum, Gripper had better watch out!

  Percy nodded to Bilko who overcome with pride had been given the job of holding down one corner of the big piece of paper that two pigeons were at this very moment unfurling, the other corners were being held down by Griff the labrador and by Blossom and Burt, the pub donkeys. Over the last few weeks Blossom had never tired of telling all who would listen that, “Mr Percy knows how reliable we donkeys are when important jobs need doing,” Burt was very happy to see that Blossom was happy to be a donkey at last! And how clever of Percy to think of asking them to help! The paper was now flat on the ground and all the animals gathered round to look, although most of them were unable to see it of course because there were too many other animals in front; even if they had been able to see, it would have been hard to make out all the lines squiggles and squares actually mean.

  “Dear friends,” boomed Percy, in his loudest voice, “here we have a copy of the very map that the humans are looking at this evening at their meeting in the old sea dog. As you can see,” he continued, pointing his paw at the paper, “the plan shows that an area of this fairground will be fenced off and a row of huts will be constructed along the back of the grassed area where Malachi has his barn. It looks like there will be about twenty huts and if you look here,” he said pointing a claw, “it shows you the inside of one of the huts. There are wooden planks, two in each hut going all round the walls and these will be wide enough for several numbers of cats to sleep and find shelter. The huts will have straw and there will be metal troughs which will have fresh piped drinking water. There will be cat flaps so that the doors will be closed to keep the huts warm in the winter months. It looks like Malachi’s barn and the chicken coop remains the same.” At this, a general squawking of approval was set up by the hens and by Ollie Beak and his brother Fazoulle, who were up on the ride roof giving a few hoots.

  Malachi said, “Hurrumph I should think so too, although I am not happy at the thought of living next door to a menagerie of cats, I am not happy at all! I didn’t get where I am today living next to cats!”

  “Well where are you today?” clucked Rhona, “Just in some mangy old barn anyway!”

  “Why how dare you!” snorted Malachi.

  “Order, order,” shouted Percy, to which Malachi gave another “hurrumph,” turned tail and left the meeting.

  “Miserable old piece of leather,” added Rhona as he left.

  Percy continued, “The two caravans will also remain and as I said the whole area will be fenced off… this means that this fairground will be open once more with the old rides all done up and some new ones added, the swimming pool and clubhouse will be done up as well and Mr Peabody is also adding an indoor pool and spa.”

  “What’s that, old chap?” asked Ernie, who had been listening intently.

  Mario piped up, “I know watta it iz, you justa sitta in a bath and de water it is moving, de ’umans love sitting in it, I dunna know why.” All the cats, who hate water of course, all started laughing and caterwauling.

  Bourneville and Malutky who were both rather naughty and were good friends had bagged good positions on the neighbouring ghost train car, were almost falling off the car in mirth. “These humans they are craaaaazy,” they said, falling on their backs and rolling around. All the animals then started barking, miaowing, clucking, neighing, baaing, braying, bleating and mooing. Gunther who had been listening up on the roof decided to fly round dropping bird poo on everyone below the roof. The situation was getting out of hand. Percy turned to Griff again, who again proceeded to give another of his almighty barks and finally order was restored and Percy could continue.

  “A new caravan park, housing about a hundred caravans will be built on the far side, so a large part of the woodland at the back will be cleared away and he will also be making a new putting green and a track for racing go-karts to go round and round.”

  “I don’t like the sound of that,” remarked Oatmeal, who was wearing a tartan waistcoat with tassels.

  “You don’t even know what a go-cart is,” piped up Pebbles, old Miss Parr’s cat who was always unkind to poor Oatmeal. “How silly you look as usual…” poor Oatmeal just tried to disappear into the background.

  “Now really, Pebbles,” said Percy, “that was uncalled for.” Pebbles just started washing herself nonplussed.

  “In the summer, there is no doubt that the park will be very noisy, with music and children everywhere and so on, but on our side of the park it should be quieter and the public will not be able to get in. The cats on the park and fairground will have a big adjustment to make, but the alternative is much worse, I have found out, through my excellent sources that if Mr Peabody did not buy this land, then a housing development would have been put here and they would not bother with trying to re-home the Butterwick cats, in fact they will be sure to get rid of them all by whatever means.” Percy paused for effect and continued again after all the animals had gasped. “This chap Peabody grew up here and wants Butterwick to thrive and he also doesn’t want to lose the cats because they are the very character of this place. In fact he wants to use us cats as a selling point on his logo.”

  “What’s that?” asked Ollie, who had pushed himself to the front with half a Cornish pasty in his mouth.

  Percy was becoming exasperated and sighed. He turned to Blossom and Burt. “The other scroll please,” he mewled. Blossom who was taking her duties very seriously put the rolled up paper on the floor and Burt took the other end and pulled. The paper was then smoothed out by Ollie rolling himself along the length of the paper. “Thank you Ollie,” said Percy, “this, my friends, is a logo.”

  The paper had the picture of a view of Butterwick from the cliffs showing the pier and clock tower and a cat, who looked suspiciously like Percy himself was overlooking the scene. The picture was coloured in bright blues, greens and yellows and around the picture in bold black lettering was written

  happy days for happy stays

  caravan park and fairground.

  Percy held up his paw again, “This is what is in front of us and I for one, think we should give it our support!”

  Percy jumped nimbly off the car as Blossom, Burt, Bilko and Griff kept their positions, as different animals came up to look at the plan and the logo, most of them could make head nor tail of it, but all agreed that Percy had explained it all very well. A gasp went up when very slowly, through the throng, a very, very old limping pussy cat made her way slowly to the front; she was painfully slow but all the animals parted to let her through. She finally reached the front and looked at the plan, her rheumy eyes blinking in the light cast by the fairy lights and everyone held their breath. She looked at Percy then at the plan. “It’ll do,” she said in a surprisingly loud voice. She then turned round very slowly and made her way out again to where Horatio was gallantly waiting to escort her home. With the approval of old Hester, all the animals agreed to the plan and gradually all the animals began to disperse and go off in different directions, bleating, clucking, whinnying, mooing, miaowing and barking about all they had heard.

  “How does that old pussy get down from that high shelf?” asked Malutky.

  “No one knows,” said Toots, the bank manager’s cat.

  “I think she flies,” added Isis, a multi-coloured cat belongin
g to Miss Honeywell.

  That night Bertie Peabody’s plan was endorsed by the humans and the animals and birds of Butterwick and the surrounding places. He invited the whole town to have drinks and soon the pub was heaving with happy revellers drinking and singing and soon dancing as well. Why there was old Bloom dancing with Miss Parr and old Isaac dancing an Irish jig and Mr Brewster leading a conga all around the pub and in the background, could be heard the loud booming voice of Reno Ravioli in a duet with old George from the station. Mr Peabody was beaming with delight, Ben played tunes on his guitar and old gypsy Mags twirled round and round with her colourful skirts twirling and her spindly woollen stocking legs on show. The children of Butterwick were all soundly asleep in the pub’s upper rooms, with Sonia and the other mums and willing volunteers all taking turns in keeping an eye on the sleeping children and then joining the fun. Mildred Totter was amongst the babysitters, huffing and puffing up the stairs with her dear cat Rosie under her arm. Rosie had grown into a very fat cat indeed because she was carried everywhere; Rosie also knew about the famous animals meeting but would have been unable to climb the cliff.