The Outcast (Sacrisvita Book 7)

by Dylan Steel

  Sage tilted her head as she watched in amusement as Penelope glanced around furtively. Satisfied they weren’t being watched, she began arranging Sage’s pillows and sheets. She stood back, examining her work.

  “I look lumpy,” Sage said, holding back a grin.

  Penelope shrugged. “Looks pretty normal to me,” she teased.

  “Thanks,” she said dully, swatting her. She reached out to straighten a section of her fake form. “That’s a little better.”

  “Not like anyone will notice anyway.” Penelope rolled her eyes. “C’mon.” She started walking toward the door.

  Sage’s eyebrow shot up in surprise, but she followed her without saying a word.

  They made their way to the edge of the room as discretely as possible, staking out a spot along the wall beside the door as they waited for the new influx of Level Fifteen girls to show up.

  “You’ll have to time it just right,” Penelope said. “Too soon or too late, and you’ll get caught by Madame Humphrey. And you have to leave before the Level Sixteens get here—it’s your only shot.”

  “Right.” Sage nodded. “I figured.”

  Penelope’s lips formed a tight line. “Sure I can’t convince you not to try?”

  She grinned wryly. “You’re always the one telling me not to worry so much.”

  “Yeah, but then you went and got yourself kidnapped and nearly shunned,” Penelope muttered. “Maybe being cautious isn’t such a bad idea.”

  Sage looked away as she leaned casually beside the door. “Or maybe it doesn’t get you anywhere at all,” she said under her breath. Her eyes flitted up, and she caught Penelope giving her a disapproving look.

  Her face flushed with guilt, but she didn’t have time to give it much thought.

  A low rumble began in the distance, growing steadily louder. Penelope and Sage exchanged a look. The older girls were on their way.

  The door flung open a few moments later, and Level Fifteens started pouring into the room, streaming past the two girls without so much as a glance.

  Penelope raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question.

  Sage gave a slight nod. There was no doubt she still wanted to leave. She just wished she didn’t have to come back.

  While Penelope watched for the end of the line of girls, Sage took a final look around the room. She scanned everywhere from the bathrooms at the end of the enormous room to the bunks closest to where they were standing.

  Her eyes landed on one of the youngest girls in the room, already tucked into the bed at the end of the row but not yet asleep. She remembered her from her trip to the infirmary after her last unfortunate encounter with Carnabel. She was watching the two older girls closely.

  “Sage?” Alira whispered. “What are you—”

  “Shh,” Sage warned quietly, holding a finger in front of her mouth and then winking.

  Alira’s mouth closed tightly as she snuggled deeper under her sheets, eyes wide as she continued staring at them.

  There wasn’t time to explain. She just had to hope Alira wouldn’t say anything to anyone.

  Scanning the room once more, she turned her attention back to Penelope just in time to see the last few girls coming in the door.

  Penelope nodded to her. Go now, she mouthed just before dropping into line behind the other girls and walking away.

  Without hesitation, Sage slipped out behind the last girl as the door swung closed. She held her breath and tiptoed to the end of the corridor as quickly as she could, rounding the corner just before she heard Madame Humphrey stop and turn around to survey the empty hallway.

  Relieved she hadn’t been spotted, she began trekking through the maze of corridors that littered the Institution. She made her way through the halls deftly, only needing to duck into an empty classroom once to avoid a stray instructor patrolling the halls after hours.

  By the time she reached the end of the final hallway, it was too late to turn back. She knew the dorm door had to be locked by this point, and if it wasn’t yet, it definitely would be by the time she could get back. Not that it mattered. Nothing really mattered tonight except freedom—however temporary it might be.

  Sage glanced back over her shoulder. She thought she heard something. Probably just her imagination. Skulking around the halls late at night had always made her paranoid—even more so since she’d gotten back.

  And tonight, she had every right to be on alert. Penelope promised she’d do what she could to cover for her, but that wouldn’t go very far if she got caught out of bed. And if she did get caught, she was pretty sure the goodwill she’d banked with Mr. Gaztok wouldn’t extend far enough, and she’d already run out of leverage to keep herself in her level with her classmates.

  But at the moment, that didn’t matter. She felt like she was going to suffocate if she had to stay stuffed inside the Institution’s walls for another moment. Even if she was shunned by the morning, she’d have a night—one night—where no one was watching her or telling her where to go or what to do or who to be with or what was true. One night of feeling the brush of fresh spring air against her skin.

  Sighing, she pushed aside the tapestry and heaved open the door, slipping into the small space behind the wall and beginning the long climb to the roof. She almost never ventured out here on her own. Her heart raced with anticipation.

  She knew she’d have to stay there all night—the dormitory door would be locked as soon as the final Level Sixteen girl walked into the room, and it wouldn’t be opened again until the next morning. Somehow, she didn’t mind the idea of sleeping under the stars again. It had been a long time, but she still remembered what it had been like when she was a little girl, falling asleep as she traced shapes in the constellations, hearing the chirping of the insects in the forest, feeling the light breeze blowing across her face.

  Chills prickled down the length of her spine at that last thought, and she zipped her jacket a bit higher. It had been a warmer spring day and with any luck wouldn’t be too chilly tonight, but the jacket was the only real warmth she could rely on. She hoped it would be enough.

  As she neared the top of the staircase, she could finally glimpse the outline of the exterior door several flights above her head. She lost sight of it as she continued climbing in a circle, but her heart started thumping faster as soon as she saw it, butterflies welling up inside her stomach in anticipation.

  When the soft glow outlining the door came back into view again, she picked up her pace, excited to step into the night air.

  In her eagerness, she stepped too quickly and slipped. She let out a small cry, catching herself on all fours as her shins smashed against the stairs. Grimacing, she sank onto a step and rubbed her legs for a moment to recover.

  Picking herself back up, she took another step and then froze. A strange sound reached her ears. Someone breathing, maybe? She wasn’t alone.

  Sage spun around quickly, scanning the darkness for a hint of what could have made the noise. Even the smallest noises echoed haphazardly throughout the small space. If she’d really heard something, she certainly couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.

  It was nearly pitch black in the stairwell, lit only by cracks of starlight reaching past the door’s edges above her. She told herself there was nothing there. Turning back around, she took another step upward and knocked face first into something solid protruding from the step in front her.

  “Mrwmphf—w-oh!”

  She was sure whatever it was hadn’t been there a moment earlier. She staggered back down a couple steps, heart thumping wildly in her chest. It wasn’t a something. It was a someone.

  18. CONFESSION

  Sage’s eyes widened. She wasn’t alone.

  Instinct took over, and she turned and began sprinting back down the stairs. She felt a rush of wind behind her as whoever was standing there reached out to stop her, just missing her arm. Her feet flew over the edges of the steps as she practically slid down the stairwell.

  “It’s
ok—it’s ok! It’s just me. There’s no one else here.”

  Her legs continued moving forward automatically for another moment as her mind pieced together what she’d just heard. It was Mr. Walsh’s voice. She gripped the rail to stop herself, her arms jerking painfully as her momentum continued pulling her downward.

  “Ugh.”

  “Sage?”

  “Mr. Walsh?” She peered into the darkness above her, barely able to make out his outline. “W-what are you doing here?”

  “Hoping to talk to you, as a matter of fact.” His footsteps echoed off the walls in the small stairwell as he made his way toward her. He stopped a few steps above her. “I’ve been paying attention to the feeds. As soon as I saw you’d left the dorm, I knew where you’d be heading.”

  “I…”

  “Don’t worry,” he said hurriedly, “I’m not going to turn you in.” He stooped down, taking a seat on the stairs. “Truth be told, foolish as it was, I’m glad you snuck out tonight. I’ve needed to talk to you for quite awhile now, but there hasn’t really been an opportunity.”

  “Oh.” Sage was still holding the rail tightly, still debating whether or not to run. The whole point of leaving tonight was to be alone. She felt trapped, and she’d really grown to hate that feeling. “Ok.” Dropping her hands to her sides, she climbed back up the steps to join him. She didn’t appreciate being cornered, but she had questions for him too.

  “Why didn’t you say something before I ran into you?”

  “I didn’t know for sure that it was you until I heard your voice.” She could hear the smile behind his words.

  “Oh,” she repeated. She was sitting across from him but could scarcely make out his silhouette.

  “I’m not quite sure where to begin,” he said, shifting his weight. “I’m sorry we haven’t had a chance to talk—I know you must have a lot of questions for me.”

  “Yeah.” She hesitated. “Is it—can we actually talk here?”

  Her question was met with silence.

  “Oh! Sorry, I forgot you couldn’t see me nodding,” Mr. Walsh said sheepishly. “I’ve taken precautions to make sure our conversation won’t be heard. You don’t need to worry about that.”

  “Ok.” She ran her fingers along the edge of the step, waiting.

  He cleared his throat, beginning again. “I know you must have questions—so many questions—about your time away.”

  “Just a few, really. They’re just kind of big ones,” she said bitterly.

  “I’ve little doubt.” He paused. When he spoke again, his voice cracked. “I truly detest even being able to tell you this, but I can probably answer those questions. Although I must admit, I’m not supposed to.”

  She swallowed, a boulder forming in the pit of her stomach. Based on the tone of Mr. Walsh’s voice, it sounded like her biggest question had just been answered. But she had to ask it anyway. She didn’t think she could accept it if she didn’t hear it for herself.

  “I-It was the Lawless, wasn’t it? They’re the ones who took me.”

  For an impossibly long moment, she heard nothing but her own shallow breathing.

  “I’m so sorry, Sage.”

  She gritted her teeth, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. She needed to hear it. “Yes or no?”

  Mr. Walsh sighed. “Yes,” he said softly.

  Silence stretched between them as the stairwell brightened a bit. A cloud must have drifted away from the front of the moon. She could finally see the shape of her old instructor beside her. Sitting there now, he looked haggard and worn. She couldn’t see herself, but she didn’t imagine she looked all that different than him at the moment.

  “Why?” she finally whispered. “Why would they do that? When Mr. Gaztok… when he told me—I thought it was another lie.” Her voice cracked. “Why would they have done that to me? I—I’m one of them.”

  “Sage…” Mr. Walsh’s eyes were filled with sorrow when he looked at her. He shook his head slowly. “You agreed to it. You didn’t know what you were agreeing to at the time, but your kidnapping—that was the plan to rescue Lita.”

  She stared at him. Her whole body had gone numb, and she was suddenly very aware of every breath she took.

  “I was against the plan from the start,” he continued. “I argued with the others about it, told them we needed to find another way—but no one could come up with a better option, and we were running out of time.”

  “That’s not what Lita would have wanted,” Sage said softly. The words were selfish, but she also knew they were true.

  “I agree,” Mr. Walsh said firmly. “Completely. And I told the council as much. But they insisted I at least put it to you as a question and—” his voice caught, “—I agreed that I wouldn’t unduly influence your response.”

  Sage’s gaze remained locked on the ground in disbelief. “You know I would have done anything to save Lita,” she mumbled.

  She looked up at him, her vision blurring through tears. “But why? Why wouldn’t you have just told me? I might have said yes anyways, and…” she trailed off. And I wouldn’t have been so scared, she thought.

  As he looked back at her, his face twisted as if he were in physical pain. “When you said you would do anything to rescue Lita—even something horrible that brought you nothing but misery—I had to report back to the council that you agreed to their terms.”

  Her mouth fell open. She remembered having that conversation on the roof, not far from where they were now. But that felt like a lifetime ago. And she never would have guessed where it would lead.

  “And I couldn’t tell you what was going to happen,” Mr. Walsh continued hurriedly, “not even a hint, because we knew you were likely to be subjected to the very sort of questioning that Ms. Verdan has been putting you through all year. And for your sake, it was critical that you could pass those tests without question. That you could answer Mr. Gaztok unequivocally. Be above suspicion.”

  He hesitated, adding regretfully, “And ideally, you would have been able to answer any question they could have asked you without incriminating anyone in our organization. That was the plan.” A weak smile spread over his face. “No one counted on the extent of your determination. Sophia never expected—” he stopped himself.

  Sophia.

  Sage felt her stomach suddenly rejecting its contents. She jerked backward and spun away from Mr. Walsh, hanging her head over the stairs below just in time.

  “Are you alright?” Mr. Walsh asked in alarm. “Do you—do you need to see the nurse?”

  “She real-ly wa-as Law-less.” Sage choked the words out between breaths. She dragged the back of her hand across her mouth. “I’m… fine,” she spluttered. “B-but I don’t think Sophia is.” She was shaking. “I…” She paused, gulping back the bile that rose threateningly in her throat again. “I told them about Sophia.”

  A heavy silence fell over the staircase. Sage could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

  “I know,” he finally said in a quiet voice.

  “You do?” Her eyes widened. “H-how?”

  “Communication with her had been spotty for awhile, but it was cut off completely a few months ago. Then rumors started not long after…” He shut his eyes and breathed slowly. “It’s hard to keep the arrest of a benefactor quiet. Especially a Bennick. It’s been common knowledge for awhile now, outside the Institution, at least. And despite the administration’s efforts to lock everything down, I still have a few ways left of finding things out.”

  Sage’s cheeks were warm. “Is… What are they going to do with her? Sophia?”

  “I would imagine it won’t be much different than what they did with the others,” Mr. Walsh said grimly. “But I’m afraid there’s not much we can do for her.”

  She gripped the edge of the stair, steadying herself. “I thought he was lying,” she murmured. “I never thought…” She buried her head in her hands. “They told me I was being held hostage in exchange for information.
”

  He smiled wryly. “In a way, I suppose that’s true. Lita obviously knew things about the Lawless.”

  Sage was trembling violently. She wrapped her arms around her knees, trying to soothe herself. “What did I do? What did I do…”

  “No,” he said sharply. “Sophia knew the risks, Sage. She took them willingly.”

  “W-why?” She could barely breathe. “Why would she trade her life for Lita’s?”

  Mr. Walsh didn’t say anything for a few moments. “Sage, Lita wasn’t the only person you were exchanged for,” he said. “Do you remember all the people who were taken? All the Lawless that Eprah had taken?”

  She nodded, realization washing over her. “The ones they said the Lawless took.”

  “We weren’t able to save them all,” he said sadly. “Some had already died in interrogations. But those who didn’t…”

  He stopped, looking at her intensely. “Sage, you didn’t even know it, but your actions saved sixteen lives. I have no doubt they would’ve all been killed eventually—once they were determined to no longer be useful.”

  “And Lita?” She sucked in a breath as she realized he still hadn’t confirmed that she was alright. “Where is she? Is she ok?”

  He gave a slight nod then looked away. “Lita’s safe now, thanks to you.”

  She breathed out, relieved. “Can I see her?” she asked hopefully.

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Sage. All I can really tell you is that she’s in hiding. And I honestly don’t know if you’ll ever see her again or not. Maybe someday, if Eprah…” he trailed off wistfully. His jaw twitched. “I’m not sure if it’ll ever happen. Losing Sophia, your parents… these aren’t minor setbacks to the Lawless cause.”

  The Lawless cause.

  Sage stiffened. “What exactly is the Lawless cause?”

  Mr. Walsh’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “We’re fighting Eprah. You know this.”