Deep Diving

by Cate Ellink

  The news guy aims straight for Cooper, armed with a notebook and asks for an autograph. No hello. No how are you. No do you mind. Then he shoots a photo of Cooper while he signs. When Cooper hands him back the notebook, he launches into questions about Coop’s holiday, the dives and his photography. He finishes off with, ‘I’ll catch you inside,’ before he whirls away. Cooper hardly says a thing worth reporting.

  As we walk up the beach to clean and drop off the gear, I turn to Cooper. ‘This is insane.’

  He catches hold of my fingers. ‘You really aren’t used to the public spotlight, are you?’

  ‘You mean this isn’t odd — the autograph, the reporter?’ My eyes widen and I frown as I try to work out if he’s serious.

  ‘Not entirely.’ He shakes his head a little. I keep staring at him. ‘People think they know you, that they’re friends with you. Didn’t that happen to you?’

  I laugh. ‘Good God, no.’ Doesn’t he realise that crowds don’t follow triathlons? ‘So, even though you play league in AFL territory, people still know you, you still have fans?’

  He twists his mouth in something between a smile and a grimace. ‘Yeah.’

  ‘And this…’ I wave my hand towards the dive shack. ‘This public involvement in our…our private business, doesn’t shock you?’

  He gives a short bark of laughter that contains no amusement. ‘Not any more. It used to.’ He hesitates as if thinking back in time. ‘It used to bother me until I learned you can’t change it, or control it, you can only roll with it.’

  ‘So how do you get any privacy?’

  ‘They’re sharing a tiny part of me. I control how much more is shared, and usually that’s minimal.’

  I must show my doubts because he moves closer and wraps his arm across my shoulder, his lips touch my ear. ‘They know we’re competing. That’s it. They don’t know how much we compete, or what we mean to each other.’

  I nod, slide my hand across his stomach and hang on to his waist.

  He nips my ear. ‘Give away only what you want to. Protect yourself.’

  What we mean to each other. Hell? What’s that? It’s more than friendship. It’s deeper than a fling. I don’t want to go there. Not here. Not now.

  I squeeze his waist. ‘Thank you.’ Sometimes Cooper’s quiet self-assurance and generosity shake me to the core. It shouldn’t. They’re two qualities I love about him. Each time I experience them, my heart swells. That he shares them with me is incredible.

  I turn my head and press a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. I can’t find the right words to express myself verbally and I hope my kiss expresses enough. Humour is so much easier and stops my wayward thoughts. ‘Let’s go see if I can beat you…again.’ I give his waist one last touch as I turn back towards the crowd.

  This time there’s a big screen slideshow and that brings me to a halt at the doorway, but Cooper’s hand low on my spine reminds me I need a backbone to get through this.

  Pulling in a deep breath helps me find my courage. A cup of tea is shoved into my hand and a plate of fruit cake into the other. Brian has a seat for Cooper and me at the back near him and the computer.

  ‘Big show,’ Cooper says.

  ‘Hope you don’t mind but it’s the best fun we’ve had in ages. Two tough competitors leaving nothing to chance.’

  I do a crazy eye roll but Brian only laughs and digs his elbow in my side. ‘Next time you bring a big name to town, Sam, warn me beforehand and we’ll put on something better than this.’

  I say nothing, just give what I hope is an enigmatic smile. This fame Cooper deals with easily is confronting. I imagine it’s worse for him in Melbourne and that makes me feel ill.

  Cooper gives me a surreptitious wink.

  The photos begin. Cooper’s are first today. He has some great shots of fish and a brilliant one of seaweed brushing a colourful nudibranch. There appears to be movement in the shot. It’s magical. I can’t give him my opinion because the room is full of loud critique. I blow him a tiny kiss. He nods. He thinks he’s won.

  My photos come up. Most are ordinary. My first dive didn’t inspire photographic greatness. I couldn’t get a good shot in my mind, let alone find one in reality. Right at the end of the first dive I took a fantastic shot and it comes up on screen now. Another collective gasp makes my lips push out a smile. I moved to macro mode and took some funny shots. This one is a close up of a brightly-coloured wrasse’s mouth and eye. The colours jump from the screen. It was a lucky shot. You can’t organise for those guys to come close.

  The room is filled with silence as the rest of my shots pop on screen. I’ve played with lighting and macro settings and the photos have worked. I’m incredibly pleased, almost to the point of preening. There are fish, unusual angles of rocks, tiny shells, nudibranchs, little weeds, a miniscule pile of rubble, and Cooper, of course.

  I look over at the subject and he’s immobile. His face is blank, staring straight ahead, and I wonder if he’s seeing the images on screen and cringing inside at my obvious adoration, or if something else is on his mind. The news guy is glued to his side.

  I’m still puzzling about him when a thunderous cheer goes up and my close up of the fish is declared the winner.

  Cooper laughs loudly. ‘I’ve been beaten by a mouth.’ He tilts his head and congratulates me.

  For the next half hour or so, a slideshow of all our photos is projected on the screen while people mingle and chat. I’m caught with people I’ve seen on dives but not spoken more than a few words to. Cooper’s right, people do think they know you. I fob off questions that are almost intimate, stunned they think I might give personal details. Although maybe they don’t expect an answer because they don’t push to receive one, just move on to the next topic or the next person. The reporter never comes near me but he hovers around Cooper all night. Obviously a fan.

  Brian booms before the crowd breaks up, asking people to vote for an overall winning photograph. To make it easy, he has our six daily winning photos, four of Cooper’s and two of mine, which he plays on a continuous loop. They’re great photos and I can’t pick which is best. I love the sharks but mostly for the look in Cooper’s eyes. His firefish will most likely win.

  The clinking of a spoon against a glass brings the room to silence. Brian gives a little speech thanking everyone for their votes and support, but making a big deal of thanking us for our competition. The room cheers. ‘The winner of the best overall photo, by popular opinion is…’ Brian draws it out. I’m not nervous. I don’t think I have a chance of winning. I’m looking at Cooper across the room and a ghost of a smile flickers across his lips when he captures my look, but it’s gone quickly. The reporter glances up to follow his gaze but before he can connect the look to me, a photo flicks onto the screen.

  The sharks.

  My stomach goes into freefall.

  I blink. Look again. It’s still my photo.

  ‘Sam, congratulations.’ Brian hands me a small box of Lord Howe Island coasters. ‘Please accept a small memento of your win.’

  I’m wrapped in a hug from Brian. Then a heap of back-patting and hand-shaking. A huge grin from Cooper and a wave is all he can manage, crowded in as he is.

  I’ve won.

  I’ve beaten Cooper.

  With a fluke of a photo but who cares? No one knows I took it on a whim, at the last moment. As a memento of my lust.

  It takes an age before most of the crowd depart. I spend a few moments thanking Brian for looking after me again before I make my way outside. Cooper’s still caught up with his crowd, so I shoot him a look across the room as I leave. I hope he understands I’m escaping and I’ll see him outside.

  I wander down to the water’s edge and stare into the distance until my eyes ache. Meeting Cooper has stirred up so much inside me that I can’t make sense of how I feel. I love being with him. I love competing with him. It’s a thrill whether I lose or win.

  But will I see him after the holiday? Or, maybe the b
etter question is, do I want to? I hesitate and a small grin works its way onto my face. Hell, yes. He’s the best sex I’ve ever had. This is the best holiday I’ve ever been on, because of spending time with him. I’d love to see him again.

  Could we have a successful relationship full time? I don’t know. Do I want a child? Do I want his child? Do I want his child without him around?

  So many questions and no answers. The night is cooling off and Cooper could be caught for ages. I head slowly towards town, splashing in the shallows, trying to distract my thoughts. Before long there’s the sound of someone running behind me. It makes me grin. Cooper catches me around my waist with a whoop as he slows beside me.

  ‘Did you survive, Sammy?’ His enthusiasm’s infectious and my solemn mood lifts instantly. I’ve become a competitor again.

  ‘Yes.’ I hesitate for a second and then crow, ‘Because I won.’ I can’t help laughing while I gloat. All thoughts of any rewards are left behind for this moment of pure pleasure. I won.

  ‘I hate to tell you, but overall I’m still winning with the photos.’

  I stop. ‘How do you work that out?’

  ‘Well, you’ve won the last two and the most popular, so that’s three. I’d won four before that. So that means I’ve won, four to three.’ He captures me, picks me up and holding me tight to his chest, spins us around. ‘Don’t go enjoying your winning streak too much.’

  Laughing, I reply, ‘I’ll bask in my win, thank you very much.’ I plant a quick kiss on his mouth. I can’t argue with his logic, or his maths, but I’m still happy with my win. A win is a win, especially when competing with him.

  He puts me back on my feet. Wrapped together, we make our way home. ‘Why does your apartment feel like home?’ I ask the question before my brain catches up. I want a baby, I don’t. I want a relationship, I don’t. I want Cooper, I… Hell yeah. That’s the only thing I do know. I’d want him with my last breath.

  Cooper opens his mouth to speak, then his eyes flare. He shuts his mouth quickly and turns away.

  I follow, silent until we get inside. ‘What? What popped into your mind and stopped you speaking?’

  ‘Nothing.’ He stands in the bathroom and sheds his clothes. ‘You joining me?’ He turns the taps for the shower without waiting for my answer. He steps in under the steaming water and I can’t help myself. I strip and join him.

  Taking the soap, I rub it between my hands until suds fill my palms. I rub my hands across Cooper’s chest and stomach. I lather up again and soap his arms and shoulders. Pressing a quick, open-mouthed kiss against his lips distracts me for only a moment. I move behind him and soap up his back and buttocks, before dropping to my knees and lathering his legs. I even wash his feet, lifting each and soaping and rinsing.

  My ministrations are sensual but quick. We’re both conscious of not wasting water. Lord Howe Island relies on rainwater, having no rivers for supply, and we haven’t had rain since we’ve been here.

  Cooper takes the soap from me, stands me against him, stroking my back with suds and huge palms. He cups my buttocks and pulls me close. A squeeze and he releases me. His hands sweep along my arms, across my shoulders, down my breasts, over my stomach and between my thighs. I love his touch. His hands are certain, his touch smooth, his knowledge of my body insurmountable. From the moment he touches me I want to groan but his movements are so rapid the groan doesn’t have time to build and expel.

  When suds have gone and we’re both clean, he holds me tight to his chest, face protected from the spray but water dropping all over me. Salty water gone from my hair, he reaches around and turns the water off.

  I look up and his thumbs brush away droplets from my eyes. His lips close over mine. He tastes me at first, as if I’m an exquisite food for him to sample. His lips touch, move lightly, nibble, press firmly for a moment, before softening and sucking on mine. My knees weaken. I’m clinging to his shoulders and a sound not unlike a deep purr reverberates throughout the room.

  Our kiss breaks. With an arm still wrapped over my shoulder blades, he walks me out of the shower and bundles me into one of the huge fluffy bath sheets. He holds me for a long time, making sure I find my feet back on the bathroom tiles, before he grabs a towel and roughly dries himself.

  I love to watch.

  I like the way the towel flicks over him, baring flesh then covering it. Water droplets shimmer before he brushes them away. His arm muscles flex as he moves. His tight buttocks have deep shadowed dips. I drool over the thick thigh muscles as he lifts his leg or bends.

  I need to get another occupation.

  ‘Are you done?’ he asks, prompting me to briskly rub the towel over myself. When I’m finished, I rub my hair with the towel, getting rid of most of the water.

  ‘Coop…’ I say his name without being entirely sure what else I want to say. He murmurs. I have to say something more but I’m not even sure where to start. ‘Thank you.’ That will have to do.

  ‘What for?’

  I let out a big sigh. ‘Everything. But mostly for getting me through tonight, for coping with my freak-outs, for making this the best holiday I’ve ever had.’

  ‘Sam.’ Cooper strokes his thumb across my cheek and leaves it sitting against my lower lip. My lip throbs beneath his touch. ‘It’s been my absolute pleasure. No hardship at all. And definitely the best holiday I’ve ever had.’ His thumb slides over my chin and he plops a quick kiss to my lips. ‘But this isn’t over.’

  ‘I know. We’ve got the walk tomorrow, and Friday.’

  He gives me a look that I can’t interpret and his lips twitch before he gives a sharp chuckle. ‘Us, Sam. We’re not done.’

  ‘We aren’t? But how’s that work when you’re in Melbourne and I’m in Adelaide?’

  ‘I don’t know exactly but this is too good to give up.’ He frowns, a hesitation before he says, ‘Unless you don’t find it like that?’

  I take hold of his hand and kiss the back of his knuckles. ‘Yeah, I find it like that. It’s kind of scary though.’

  ‘So long as we’re both scared we can work it out.’

  ‘I like your optimism.’ I close my teeth around his big middle knuckle, biting sharply, before soothing with my tongue. ‘Can we talk about this later? I’ve been waiting all day to have my wicked way with you.’ I give a fake leer and swipe at the towel still wrapped around his waist.

  ‘Sam, what we have is more than just sex. You know that, don’t you?’

  I meet his gaze. It’s honest, clear, intense. It’s not just me who’s falling somewhere deeply out of their depth.

  ‘Yeah, I know, but right now all I want is you writhing beneath me while we have more than just good sex.’

  He chuckles, allowing me to once again get away with avoiding the deeper issues, and that’s good because I don’t know how to face the deeper stuff.

  Chapter 13

  I wake slowly from a sexy, hot dream only to find I’m not dreaming. I am sprawled across a sexy hot man whose hard cock nudges my thigh.

  ‘Hey, Coop.’ My sleepy murmur sounds thick and full of lust.

  ‘Hey yourself.’

  ‘I see my riding efforts last night haven’t worn you out.’

  Cooper gives a deep chuckle that rumbles from his chest right through my rib cage. Goosebumps spring up all over my skin. ‘I’m sure it didn’t wear you out either, Sammy. Not judging by those little sounds you were making while you woke.’

  Ah, yes. Those little sounds. ‘It was a pretty steamy dream.’

  Cooper nuzzles beneath my jaw and his cock wriggles beside my thigh. ‘Did it feature me?’

  I chuckle. ‘Well…I’m not sure, you woke me too soon.’

  Cooper grabs me and flips me onto my back, his mouth moving straight to my nipple and sucking tight before dragging it out as he releases. I make one of those little noises before locking my legs around his hips and squirming beneath him. ‘Do we have time?’

  ‘We have five minutes until breakfast is deliv
—’

  My arm flies out for a condom, which I rip open with my teeth. In record time I sheath his cock in latex and direct it inside me. Relief. And then he pounds into me.

  Dear God. The little noises quickly become very loud sounds. And as I shout his name and cling to him, there’s a knock on the door.

  Breakfast.

  I shouldn’t laugh but I do. Cooper buries his head in my shoulder.

  ‘I’ll get it.’ After I make the offer, he rolls away. I grab his gown and sash it around my waist, run my fingers through my hair and open the door to take the breakfast tray from the discreet room service lady who only blushes and refuses to meet my gaze.

  When I come back he’s grinning.

  ‘Did they know what we were doing?’

  A burst of laughter explodes from me. ‘Oh, yeah. Sometimes I think the whole freaking island knows what we’re doing.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be so loud.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be so good.’

  We breakfast quickly, then jog down to meet the group for the mountain walk. The groups are limited in size but ours is even smaller than the maximum, with us, two older couples, and the guide.

  We introduce ourselves. Jim and Sue are one couple, Matt and Margaret the other. Greg is the guide.

  Jim looks when Cooper introduces himself. ‘You look like that bloke…plays for Melb—’

  ‘Yeah, I get that all the time,’ Cooper says with a grin.

  ‘So what do you do for a crust?’ Matt asks.

  Cooper looks at me, so I answer. ‘I’m a children’s sports coach.’

  Sue gapes. ‘I don’t think I’m fit enough for this walk.’ Her voice is above a whisper but there’s a quiet desperation in it.

  ‘You’ll be fine,’ Greg says. ‘You’ve done lots of walks harder than this. We talked about it earlier.’

  ‘I coach kids, Sue, to run, swim and ride. I don’t do a lot of bushwalking and these hills are bigger than I’m used to.’ I smile gently, hoping to reassure her. There’s nothing worse than defeating yourself mentally before you start.