High Jinx

by Shannon Esposito

  Devon rested his hand on my knee as he pulled into his driveway and squeezed. ‘I don’t know. That might be a good place for you to start digging.’

  ‘Yeah, about that.’ I turned to him, motioning for Buddha to sit so I could see Devon’s face clearly. ‘Please tell me you only volunteered me so you could help Breezy without taking her money. Because I know you wouldn’t want me getting involved in another dangerous murder investigation, right?’

  He shut off the Jeep and glanced at me with a smirk. ‘I have no idea what you’re gettin’ at, Miss Pressley.’

  I relaxed. ‘Yeah, right. You’re a sly one, Mr Burke.’ I leaned over and pressed my lips softy against his.

  He kept eye contact as he pulled me in for a deeper kiss. When he finally let me go, he said, ‘And a lucky one.’

  ‘And a dangerously charming one,’ I mumbled to myself as I hopped out and let Buddha out of the back seat. As we all made our way to the front door, I turned to him. ‘I forgot to ask: did Breezy tell the police who she thought Michael’s mistress is … was, I mean?’

  ‘Don’t know.’ He slid his hand behind my neck and kissed me even more passionately on the doorstep. Our eyes were locked as he swung the door open. ‘I will find out tomorrow. But tonight, no more talking.’

  I squealed as he swept me off my feet. Petey greeted us happily as Devon carried me through the door.

  SEVEN

  The next morning I’d finished my sunrise yoga session on the beach and sat in the sand watching the dogs romp through the shallow surf. There was a chill to the early morning air coming off the cooled Gulf waters, but I’d stopped noticing and my goosebumps went away after the first few sun salutations. Petey’s ears suddenly went up as his attention turned toward the love of both of our lives jogging toward us shirtless. I let Petey jump all over him with abandon while I sat back and silently admired his well-maintained physique.

  ‘I thought you were going to help me get this mutt under control.’ Devon planted a kiss on my cheek as he plopped down beside me in the sand and blocked Petey’s enthusiastic jumping kisses with a forearm.

  ‘Give him a break, he hasn’t seen you in a whole … thirty minutes,’ I laughed.

  Devon shot me a look. ‘He used to go on the morning run with me and still could.’ Rubbing the dog’s head in both hands, he added, ‘But the lazy clown prefers to stay here and play instead. Go!’ He waved Petey off, and with a last lick of Devon’s hand he was back in the water. ‘Listen, Elle, I’m going to be staying with Quinn for a few days at the hotel. Something important’s come up that we need to work on together. Can you mind Petey for a few days?’

  I bit my tongue and my initial reaction. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t give me details on the investigation. Every time I tried to probe, he’d shut down. Did he not trust me? He sure trusted Detective Vargas. Don’t be petty, Elle. ‘Of course, but I don’t understand why Quinn doesn’t just stay here at your place. It isn’t because I’m staying here, is it?’

  ‘No. Of course not. I told you that since Clyde Lynch was released from jail, Quinn’s been followin’ him. He can’t very well do that from a private island that you have to wait for a ferry to exit.’

  I nodded and wiped some sand from his forearm. ‘I see. This thing … it’s not dangerous, is it?’

  His gaze hung on mine for a moment before it skipped off and moved to the dogs, who’d worn themselves out and were now sprawled in the sand, both their tongues hanging out, eyes squinting in the bright morning light. ‘I’ll be careful, Elle.’

  I did not like that answer at all, but what could I say? Then I had an idea. ‘Well, since you’re not going to be here for a few days, why don’t I take the dogs and stay at the Pampered Pup? With me doing three classes a day now, they’d get way more attention there. I’ll set Petey up with some grooming and pampering. And plus, I won’t have to worry about getting a ride back and forth.’

  ‘Oh, sorry. Forgot all about your car situation. OK, but why don’t you just let me get your car fixed?’

  ‘Because my ego wouldn’t like that,’ I joked, but it was mostly true.

  After our shower and breakfast, Devon dropped me and the dogs off in front of the Pampered Pup. As he wrapped his arms around me and I melted into him, I felt the ache of missing him start in my chest. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid by not dating all those years. Attachment. The cause of all suffering, according to Buddha – the man, not the dog. Pushing back, I looked up into his eyes. ‘Please be careful.’

  ‘Or what?’ He smirked, kissing the tip of my nose.

  ‘Or Petey will be very angry with you.’

  One eyebrow rose. ‘Petey, eh?’ Kissing my mouth and then my hand, he said, ‘I’ll call you later and let ya know what I find out about Michael’s alleged mistress and the whereabouts of Sven.’

  I pressed my nose into his neck, taking in his spicy scent. ‘You’re very good at changing the subject.’

  ‘I’m very good at a lot of things. That’s why you love me.’

  ‘I do.’ I sighed, frowning.

  ‘I do, too. See you in a few days.’ He gave Petey one last ear rub and kissed him on the nose, getting a lick on the eye for his trouble. ‘Be good. Don’t embarrass us in front of all these uppity rich folks.’

  I crossed my arms. ‘You know you’re one of them, right?’ I teased.

  Chuckling, he waved and jumped in the Jeep. I picked up my yoga bag and backpack with my free hand and we all watched him drive away. I really needed to go back to my mom’s house and grab some winter clothes. A cold front was coming through this weekend. OK, our cold fronts may not deserve that title since they don’t involve ice or snow, and Canadians will probably still be happily frolicking in the Gulf, but everything’s relative. I’ll be freezing in the summer clothes I’d been wearing. This was the thing on my mind as I said good morning to our security guard, Marvin, and then led Buddha and Petey through the front doors.

  Rita Howell, the spa manager, was standing in front of my studio doors with two men in gray shirts and name tags. Her hands were on her hips and her eyebrows were doing that thing where they meet in the middle, signaling her unhappiness. This was something no one working at the Pampered Pup ever wanted to see, since her unhappiness quickly became our unhappiness.

  ‘Morning, Rita,’ I said tentatively. ‘What’s going on?’

  Her mouth hardened as she crossed her arms. ‘A pipe burst in the wall and flooded your studio.’ She moved her hot laser gaze to the two men. ‘Well, don’t just stand there. Go get the wet-vac or whatever you need to clean that mess up.’ I detected relief in their demeanor as they hurried away from her. I fought the urge to join them. ‘Of course, part of the wood floor is ruined.’

  ‘Ruined?’ I whispered. I felt Buddha lean against my leg, something he does when he senses I’m upset.

  ‘Yes, but don’t worry. I’ll get someone in here to replace it ASAP. Shouldn’t take more than a few days.’

  ‘A few days?’ I repeated, trying not to indulge where my thoughts were going … straight to the word cursed. ‘Soooo … I guess I could …’ Nothing. I was drawing a blank. I could what? Go lounge on the beach for a few days while not getting paid? Not. An. Option.

  Always one to think outside of the box, that’s exactly what Rita did. ‘It’s no problem. You can teach your classes outside in the gardens until it’s fixed.’

  ‘Outside?’ I repeated. All the energy was quickly draining from my body.

  She eyed me closely. ‘Are you feeling OK, Elle?’

  I nodded slowly as I thought about my pampered clients – who wear three hundred dollar yoga pants and diamond earrings to class – practicing doga outside, on actual grass, with actual uncontrolled air temperature and killer attack wasps.

  My eye twitched. My hand moved to rest on Buddha’s head. ‘Sure. I’m fine. That’s a great idea.’

  She was still eyeing me closely. ‘Good. I’ll have Carrie print out a sign to hang on the doo
r directing your clients to meet you in the gardens.’

  ‘Thanks.’ What was I going to ask her before this mess? ‘Oh, can you also have her open up a tab for dog food and some spa treatments for a few days? I’ll settle up on Friday.’ Devon had given me his credit card and told me to give Petey whatever pampering I thought he’d like. I thought he’d like a dead fish bath, but he’d have to settle for Dead Sea mud.

  ‘Of course.’ She rested a hand on my shoulder as she went to leave and then, snapping her fingers, she whirled back. ‘Oh, I almost forgot. I’ve got two judges lined up for the pet costume contest at the party Saturday night, but I need one more to prevent a tie. You’d be the perfect third judge. What do you say?’

  ‘Sure,’ I said, nodding and smiling, because that’s what I always say. I was beginning to feel like if you looked up ‘yes man’ or more accurately ‘yes woman’ in the dictionary, there’d be a picture of me. Smiling like an idiot.

  ‘Great.’ She eyed me cautiously. ‘Are you sure you’re OK? Because you’ve been through a lot lately and I’d understand if you needed to take some personal time.’

  ‘No. Nope,’ I said quickly, trying to make my face look smooth and unstressed. ‘Really, I’m good. Just need to get some coffee and wake up. But I do need to stay in a suite for a few days. That’s still OK, right?’

  She nodded with a dismissive wave. ‘Of course. We’re almost full but Suite 306 is open until Friday. You can stay in there. And I’ll get that sign up for you ASAP.’ ASAP seemed to be her favorite thing to say lately. I wondered if this applied in her personal life as well. ‘I’ll get those pancakes cooked ASAP’ or ‘I’ll iron that shirt ASAP.’ Wait, that wasn’t her at all. More like, ‘Bring me my breakfast and ironed shirt ASAP.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  I looked down at Buddha and Petey, two sets of bright eyes and two dripping tongues, waiting patiently. ‘All right, come on. Let’s go scout out a place where there’s no bees or ants.’ The landscape crew did a pretty good job keeping the fire ant mounds at bay but their bites were painful enough that I needed to double-check the area we were moving class to. I didn’t want the spa to get sued for my negligence, and I wasn’t feeling very lucky right about now.

  EIGHT

  My morning class went pretty well, despite the added distractions of gnats buzzing our eyes and ears, loud planes flying overhead and a few of the dogs wandering off since there was no door. But at least eight of the clients decided to stick it out since they were mostly here year-round and had some sense of loyalty. The new midday class did not fare so well. Only three ladies and pups decided to attend when they learned they’d be trading an air-conditioned, candle-lit, lavender-scented room for the great Florida outdoors. And by the time my last class at four o’clock rolled around, so did a booming, drenching October storm. The day was a bust.

  As I lay in bed that night, sandwiched between the two dogs, listening to the thunder rumble and heavy rain pelt the window, I couldn’t help but subtract the money I’d lost today from my budget. I was still giving Mom money to cover her bills, but if I did that this week would I be able to fix my car? I really didn’t want to see Devon lying under my old beater in the driveway of his million-dollar bungalow. It was humiliating enough when I parked it there when it was running. I grabbed a bone-shaped pillow and pressed it into my face as I groaned in frustration.

  I had just about fallen asleep when something startled me awake. And not just me. As I pushed myself up on my elbows and peered into the dark room, my heart beating like a jackhammer, both dogs lifted their heads and stared at the door with their jaws clenched and ears alert.

  We all listened. There it was. A sharp scratching sound on the door. Buddha growled and Petey lowered his head and glanced at me. Did one of the dogs get loose from a suite? Or the more important question: would a murderer wielding an axe scratch at the door?

  ‘Scooch,’ I whispered, nudging Petey off the bed so I could move my legs. I flung the covers off and tiptoed across the shadowy room. As I reached for the door handle, the scratching intensified. I flipped the lock, pulled open the door and …

  And nothing. There was no one there. No axe-wielding murderer. No loose dog. I stepped out and, glancing up and down the hallway, made little kissing noises in case the dog was scared off by the sound of the door unlocking. ‘Here, puppy, puppy,’ I whispered. Nope. Nothing.

  Shrugging, I shut the door and crawled back under the covers just as a flash of lighting lit up the room like a strobe. Thunder boomed on its heels. ‘Yikes. That was close.’ Sighing, I got into the position on the side I wanted to sleep on before the dogs pinned me down again. I scratched both their ears as they plopped down against me. ‘Guess we’re all imagining things. ’Night.’

  But we weren’t. At least, I didn’t think so. The scratching woke us three more times and the last time it was accompanied by a muffled yipping. Each time I yanked open the door to find the hallway empty. I even called to Angel, my deceased childhood dog who sometimes visited me in spirit form, thinking maybe it was her but she never appeared.

  The next morning, I dragged myself out of bed with a pounding headache. The storm had passed, but as I led Petey and Buddha into the gardens for their morning potty break and romp, I knew my day was toast. My flip-flops were sinking into the grass with a sucking sound as I walked. The ground was a sopping mess. There was no way I was holding my morning doga class out here.

  On my way back in, I wondered if things could get worse. I should not have asked that.

  As we came through the doors, M.J. was rolling Flavia and her little devil dog toward us. Petey had been happily bouncing beside me until Athena unleashed her indignation upon us in a fury of yipping.

  With a deep bark and gleeful bounce, Petey took off toward the little dog like it was inviting him to play. Petey was not one to pay attention to social cues. I had to give Flavia credit for hanging onto the little demon’s harness for dear life, and to M.J. for quickly whirling the wheelchair around to face the other direction. But that didn’t stop Petey from bounding toward them, yanking my arms from their sockets in the process. I lost my balance in what would’ve been comical in a silent movie kind of way if it hadn’t hurt so much when I landed on my face. My mouth met the floor with a sickening crack. I didn’t have the sense to let go of the leash either as he dragged me across the tiles. ‘Petey!’ I finally managed. ‘No!’

  I felt Petey halt and the leash go slack. My world at that moment consisted of a booming in my skull that reverberated through my teeth, a background symphony of panicked voices speaking Greek and the slow realization that the blood pooling on the floor beneath me was mine.

  A warm tongue licked my ear. My cheek. My eyelid. I used what little strength I had to push Buddha away. ‘I’m OK, boy.’ But he moved in front of me, a warning growl rumbling in his barrel chest. Lifting my head up, I saw M.J. standing with his palms out, looking a bit worried. ‘Easy, boy. Just want to help.’

  ‘Buddha! No!’ I scolded, getting a blaze of pain across my eyes for the trouble. ‘Sit.’ Ever since he’d seen me in danger at Devon’s house, he seemed to have gotten more protective. I’d have to fix that before it got out of hand. Or maybe he just sensed that I was cursed.

  M.J. leaned forward and reached for me. This time Buddha let him. With gentle hands, he carefully helped me sit upright and lean against the wall.

  ‘Ow. Ow.’ I cringed, gripping the sides of my head. The movement set off the bass drums.

  M.J. was frantically pressing a handkerchief into my hand. ‘For your lip. Try not to move. I’m going to go get help. Be right back.’

  ‘So sorry, Elle! Dis dog! Ack!’ Flavia said before M.J. wheeled her and Athena away with him.

  I dared to open an eye as I heard panting directly in front of me. Petey sat inches away from my face, tongue dripping saliva on my thigh next to a spot of blood, tail wagging.

  ‘You’re lucky you’re cute.’ Gingerly, I pressed the handkerchief against my
lips. They already felt swollen and hard as a rock. Great. Ow. Again, I pushed the word cursed from my mind.

  No. No. No. I don’t believe in any of that. I’ve always been accident-prone, and I just happened to be having a bad week. A really bad week. One for the record books, for sure.

  ‘Elle?’ Marvin, the security guard, came hurrying down the hall, his keys and various security guard duty things jingling. He patted Buddha, who thumped his stubby tail at the sight of Marvin as he kneeled down in front of me with a blue ice pack gripped in his meaty hand. ‘You all right? Anything broken?’

  I squinted at him through the pain. Petey gave him a lick on the ear for his trouble. ‘No. Just my wips, I think.’ Lips, actually, but he knew what I meant, even if I was speaking like a three-year-old at the moment. I pointed at my swollen mouth.

  I watched him cringe as he surveyed my face and made some empathetic noises. ‘Looks like milkshakes for you for a few days. Here.’ He handed me the ice pack. ‘Get some ice on those babies. I’ve seen prize fighters come out of the ring with smaller lips than you.’ He chuckled as I tried to frown at him and almost passed out from the stab of pain above my eyes. ‘You’ll be all right, I suspect. We just need to find you some aspirin and a soft bed.’

  ‘I’m staying in suite 306,’ I whimpered.

  He looked up at M.J. ‘You mind keepin’ her company until I can fetch a wheelchair?’

  ‘Of course.’ M.J. hiked up his khaki pant legs and squatted down beside me as Marvin hurried off. I eyed his expensive leather sandals and wanted to warn him about the swamp the gardens were at the moment. He grinned at Buddha, who was lying down against my leg but watching him closely. ‘What a good boy, taking care of your mom.’ And then he shook his head at Petey. ‘I’m not sure you’re going to be getting any dinner after that stunt.’

  Pulling the ice away from my mouth for a second, I said, ‘He ’ouldn’t have hurt Athena.’ At least, I didn’t think he would’ve. His posture had seemed more playful than anything, plus I’ve seen him interact with smaller dogs at the dog beach. He’s never been aggressive. Of course, we were talking about Athena here.