Crystal's Calamity (The Red Petticoat Saloon)

by Stevie MacFarlane

  “I hope you enjoy it, and no more going out on that roof,” he scolded. “It’s not safe.”

  “I won’t, I promise,” she said with a wink. “As long as no more peeping Toms come around that is.”

  Jasper snorted and crossed his arms, returning the other man’s nod as he left the room.

  “Miss Crystal,” a young man cried as he rushed into the room next, waving a letter. “She said yes. I can hardly believe it.”

  “That’s wonderful, George. I’m so happy for you,” she replied, taking his hand.

  “Are you all right, ma’am? I wasn’t here last night, but as soon as I heard the story this morning, I had to come and see for myself.”

  “I’m fine and very happy for you. Are you going back home then?”

  “Yes, quick as I can. My mine’s about played out anyway. I’m awful sorry about what happened to your Pa, ma’am,” he said sadly. “If there’s anything I can do for you…”

  “Thank you, George, but there’s nothing anyone can do. It’s enough to know the man who murdered him will pay for it,” she replied softly.

  “Oh, I almost forgot. I brought you a little something,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a golden brown ribbon. “I thought it matched your eyes.”

  “It’s lovely. I’ll wear it right now, “she insisted, lifting her hair and tying it around her head. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Jasper rolling his and glared.

  “Your sweetheart is a lucky girl getting such a thoughtful young man for a husband,” she cooed.

  “Aw, shucks, Miss Crystal. I’m the lucky one. Lucky you taught me to read and write and real lucky she said yes. I don’t even know how to really thank you.”

  “Knowing you’re happy will be thanks enough,” she assured him with a smile.

  ***

  It went pretty much like that for the rest of the afternoon.

  “Miss Crystal, my Pa wrote and told me my letter got to Ma just before she passed. Said she was so relieved to hear from me she just went quietly in her sleep. How can I thank you?”

  “Miss Crystal, I caught the bank trying to cheat me. Now I’m not sayin’ twernt an honest mistake, but I’d a never noticed it if you hadn’t spent all that time teaching me my sums. You sure look pretty. You feeling better?”

  “I’m going to be an Uncle, Miss Crystal. I got the letter two days ago and was able to read it all by myself!”

  “I got that job in San Francisco, Miss Crystal. I never could have done it without your help answering the advertisement and filling out those papers. I hope you’re feeling better soon, honey.”

  “I passed that Robinson Crusoe book you gave me on to another one of the miners. I hope you don’t mind. That sure was a good story, Miss Crystal. I’ll come by and check on you again in a few days. Will that be all right? I’m sure glad you weren’t hurt worse.”

  ***

  A good portion of the afternoon Jasper spent leaning forward, his arms on his thighs as he stared at the floor just listening. Clem amassed quite a collection of tributes from her devoted customers. Peppermint sticks, chocolates, perfume, ribbons, and even a few gold nuggets.

  When the last of her visitors had filed out, she was exhausted. Sinking back onto her pillows, she looked at Jasper. He raised his head and pinned her with his eyes. Holding out her hand she beckoned him toward the chair beside the bed but he stayed where he was, just staring at her.

  Clem felt her stomach clench.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice deep with emotion, but strangely calm.

  “Tell you what?” she hedged, fiddling with her treasures spread around her on the bed.

  “You never slept with any of those men, did you?”

  “A whore rarely sleeps with her customers,” she replied, looking away.

  “Clementine,” he growled, getting to his feet. “The time for lies and deceptions is over. Now, tell me the truth before I really lose my patience.”

  Clem snorted. “What patience?”

  “The patience that keeps me from pulling you over my knee and giving you what you deserve.”

  “You can’t do that. I’m not well; even Dr. Norwood said I needed rest,” she hissed, fighting the rush of panic she felt at his words.

  “He said you’d be fine with a little rest,” Jasper reminded her. “You can rest on a red bottom as easily as you can on a white one.” He approached the bed, but did not sit. Instead he towered over her with an unholy gleam in his eye. “Let me rephrase my question so even a dunderhead like you can understand. Did you have sexual relations with any of those men?”

  “No,” Clem admitted softly.

  “With any men?” he questioned further, placing his hands on his hips.

  “Just one,” she whispered.

  “And the child you carry is mine?” he stated.

  “Yes.”

  “Yet you let me leave town?” he demanded.

  “It wasn’t as though you asked my opinion,” she snapped, bolting upright.

  “Don’t try to turn this on me,” he yelled. “You let me think you’d become a whore when all the time you were running some kind of school house up here.”

  “I am a whore,” she said with an almost proud toss of her head.

  “A whore who doesn’t sell her body,” he snorted.

  “I did sell my body, to you, you jackass!” Throwing a box of candy at him, she smiled when it wacked him in the forehead. “It’s not as though I kept everything from you,” she shouted.

  “No, only the really important things! Tell me, what were you going to do about the baby once you finished your ‘mission’ if you both happened to survive that is?”

  “I was going to come and find you,” she sighed, deflating back onto the bed, her energy spent along with her temper.

  “And how were you going to do that? I didn’t know myself where I was going,”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted softly. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

  “Why am I not surprised? You’re the most single-minded female I’ve ever met.” Shaking his head, he sat on the bed. “Suppose you finally did find me. Suppose I’d already married someone else?” he asked.

  “You wouldn’t have,” she insisted with great certainty.

  “How do you know?”

  “You love me,” she replied simply, looking at him with her brown eyes shining.

  “Everyone gets lonely, Clem,” he said sadly, taking a curl from her breast and wrapping it around his finger.

  “I know,” she sniffed. “I missed you terribly even though you weren’t really speaking to me when you left.”

  “I spoke to you. Told you I was leaving and why.”

  “That was informing, not speaking. You haven’t really spoken to me in weeks.”

  “Would it have done any good? If I’d prostrated myself before you, begging you not to take any more men upstairs or pleaded with you to marry me, would it have changed anything?”

  “No, it would only have made me feel worse,” she acknowledged, her eyes filling with tears. “Jasper, I think I fell in love with you that first night, but I couldn’t let anything stand in my way. I had to find the man who killed my father. I know you don’t understand.”

  “You’re wrong,” he said, lifting his hand and kissing the curl. “There was a time you would have been right, but not anymore. You see, once I left you, I realized I felt the same way about you as you did about your so called mission. Nothing mattered but being with you, having you in my life. I could overlook the other men, the quest for more and more money; in fact, I found I could overlook anything if it meant seeing you every day. Even the smiles that weren’t for me brought me pleasure because they meant you were still here, still on this earth and there was still a chance.

  “I came back to tell you I’d take you anyway I could get you and to remind you that I love you. That’s when all hell broke loose and I found out you’d taken White up to your room.”

 
; “Oh God, Jasper, I was so scared,” she admitted with a shiver as she threw back the covers and climbed onto his lap.

  “Me too,” he breathed into her hair. “Which reminds me, we have a few things to straighten out don’t we?”

  “Oh no,” she cried, trying to scoot away from him.

  “Oh yes,” he laughed, keeping her firmly on his lap. “From now on we’re in this together. There will be no more secrets and no more missions that don’t involve us both, is that clear? We’re a team you and I, understand?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you know what’s going to happen if you misbehave or keep things from me again?” he asked, tipping her face up to his and forcing her to look at him.

  “No. What?” she asked, pretending ignorance.

  “I’m going to put that paddle I made you to good use,” he promised, kissing her sweet lips.

  “Um, Jasper, about that paddle…”

  Epilogue

  Carl White was convicted and hanged within a week. Crystal did not attend the hanging, trusting Whiskers to see that justice was done. For the first time in months she felt at peace, taking flowers to her father’s grave and spending the rest of the day in her room reading poetry. Adam Barlow was working on having White’s claim to Eliza’s Dream set aside. If he succeeded, and Clementine was hopeful he would, Jasper would see about hiring men to work it for her.

  ***

  Two weeks later, Jasper Montgomery and Clementine McKay were married at The Red Petticoat Saloon by Lawrence Black, the preacher who occasionally came down to Culpepper Cove. The turnout was the biggest the town had ever seen with miners and farmers coming out of the hills.

  Citrine stood as Clementine’s witness with Whiskers standing up with Jasper. There were not enough seats for everyone, so Nettie served the meal buffet style, all the gems moaning when they saw yet another ham supper.

  “Not ham again,” Amy sighed.

  “With Crystal leaving us, it’ll soon be gone,” Nettie laughed.

  “I still can’t believe Jasper was paying her a hundred dollars a night,” Dottie whispered.

  “He can afford it,” Amy replied. “Look at that dress he had sent down from San Francisco.”

  “It is gorgeous,” Opal sighed, watching Crystal twirl by in Jasper’s arms. Yards of golden satin seemed to reflect every light in the room.

  Gabe slipped his arm around Jewel’s waist. “She finally looks happy,” he remarked.

  “Yes, she does,” Jewel agreed, placing her hand over his. “I wasn’t sure it was going to happen.”

  “He has a lot more patience than I do,” Gabe laughed, shaking his head.

  “Good thing,” Jewel replied with a giggle. “I think he’s going to need it.”

  As soon as the dance ended, Whiskers announced his departure on the next day’s stagecoach and Clementine shed a few tears as she wished him luck.

  “You send me a wire and let me know how things work out,” she made him promise. “You can always come and visit us.”

  “I’m goin’ to be fine,” he assured her, kissing her cheek. “I’ve got a mind to see what I can make of that old farm no matter what happens. I’m too old to be traipsing all over creation.”

  ***

  Jasper carried his bride over the threshold of their home and right up the stairs to the bedroom.

  “In a hurry?” she teased.

  “You might say that,” he replied with a broad grin. “We only have tonight.”

  “We have the rest of our lives,” she protested.

  “Yes, but we’ll be traveling for a while. Tonight we have complete privacy,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

  “I can hardly wait to get to Philadelphia,” Clementine sighed. “I’ve always wanted to see more of the country.”

  “And so you shall, my darling,” he promised, kicking the bedroom door closed behind them. “We’ll stay in our home there until the baby is born. Once you’ve recovered, we’ll go anywhere your heart desires.”

  “Oh, Jasper, you’re so good to me,” she sighed, hugging him close as he gently placed her on her feet. Spying a present on the bed she squealed. “Oh, another gift for me?” she asked.

  “No,” he drawled. “Actually that one’s from Nettie for me. She asked that I not open it until after the wedding.”

  “Well, hurry up,” Clem scolded. “I love surprises.”

  Jasper untied the ribbon and lifted the top of the box. Instantly, his laughter filled the room. “You’re not going to like this one,” he warned, smiling broadly.

  “Why?” Clem asked, leaning over the bed to peer into the box. “Oh,” she gasped. “She was supposed to burn that for me,” she pouted. “I can’t believe she did this.”

  “I can, and I’ve very thankful I won’t have to make another.”

  “You would have?”

  “You bet I would. My hand was stinging pretty badly that day.”

  “You poor thing,” Clem cooed sarcastically.

  “That’s not a good way to start a marriage, making fun of your husband,” Jasper scowled, picking up the paddle and smacking it against his palm. “Ow,” he yelled, dramatically shaking his hand.

  Clementine laughed. “Exactly, that’s why I’m not going to take that kind of thing sitting down.”

  “Oh, you won’t be sitting down,” he teased. “Not during and certainly not after.”

  “Are you really going to spank me with that?” she pouted, sidling up to him and reaching to undo his tie. “I can think of much more pleasant pastimes.”

  “So can I,” he agreed, turning her around so he could unbutton her dress. “I love you so much,” he whispered, baring her shoulder and kissing it. Sliding his hands down the front of her loosened dress, he cupped her breasts, tweaking her nipples. Clem moaned, tipping her head back and sagging against him.

  “God, I adore your new breasts,” he groaned, pushing the dress down farther and baring her to the waist. Circling her, he bent and suckled her nipple, clutching her bottom to steady her as her knees shook.

  “Don’t get used to them,” she breathed. “I understand that after the baby, they will go back to normal.”

  “Not for a good long while,” he murmured, switching to her other nipple. “As long as you’re nursing our child, I intend to enjoy the bounty.” Kneeling, he pushed her dress over her hips and kissed her belly gently.

  “Jasper,” she cried, holding his head close to her and stroking his dark hair. “I love you so.”

  Rising, he swiftly finished undressing her and placed her on the bed. He stripped slowly, almost teasing her until, in frustration, she began to pinch her nipple.

  “Good lord,” he cried, tearing off the rest of his clothes as she watched him, smiling. “Who taught you that?” he demanded, diving onto the bed.

  “Opal; she said sometimes it’s a way to sort of speed things along. Apparently men like to see a woman touching herself.”

  “Is that so? And what else did she teach you, Miss Fancy Pants,” he growled, plucking her other nipple.

  “Well, she really only told me about some of the other things. I haven’t had time to try them out,” Clementine sighed sadly.

  “Like what?” he asked.

  Clem rolled to her tummy and scooted down the bed.

  “She said most men like it when a woman does this,” she said, giggling before taking his hard shaft in her hand and touching her tongue to it.

  “Really?” Jasper choked out.

  “Yes, really,” she insisted softly, “but they especially like it when she licks them. Sort of like this,” she demonstrated.

  “Ah, I see,” he panted. “Anything else?” he asked with a deep throaty groan.

  “Well,” she drawled, pushing her long hair behind her and bending her head. “I imagine a man who likes those things would also enjoy this,” she cooed, taking him in her mouth fully. Stroking him with her tongue until he began to shake, she started sucking, drawing him in as deeply as she cou
ld before releasing him with pop.

  “Was Opal right?” she asked, grinning.

  “Oh God yes; remind me to buy her a very expensive present,” he sighed. “More please.”

  Clementine obliged until he suddenly stopped her, pulling her up his body until she was astride his hips.

  “I can’t take anymore, baby,” he growled, lifting her hips until she was positioned over him. “I hope you’re ready.”

  “I am,” she purred, swiveling her hips so he could feel her gliding across the tip of his cock.

  With a mighty cry, Jasper pulled her down on him. Holding her firmly in place, he threw his head back, his breathing ragged. “I may die tonight,” he rasped out.

  Clementine giggled and wiggled her bottom.

  “Stop that,” he ordered, slapping her bottom cheek and pulling her down to kiss her. “I’d prefer if our first marital joining wasn’t over in thirty seconds. What other wicked little things did Opal and the others tell you about? Wait, don’t tell me,” he pleaded. “I think that conversation is best left to a less intense time.”

  Releasing her hips, he slid his hands up her sides until they reached her breasts where he proceeded to tease and torment her tender buds until she was wiggling incessantly on his well seated cock.

  “Can’t you be still?” he teased, letting one nipple go in favor of zeroing in on her clit, charmingly visible and oh so available between her spread thighs.

  “No,” Clem wailed, “not when you’re doing that and are so deep inside me.”

  “Do I need to get my new present?” he asked, eyeing her speculatively.

  Clem froze her brown eyes wide.

  “I’ll try to be still,” she whimpered with a pout.

  “God, I love it when you obey me; it’s sexy as hell,” Jasper hissed, stroking her firmly and feeling her clench around him.

  “It’s also going to be a very rare occurrence,” she gasped out, throwing her head back in the beginning throws of her orgasm.

  “We’ll see, fancy pants, we’ll see,” he said, moving one hand behind her bottom and touching her anus. “You were very well behaved with the beads,” he reminded her as he slipped a finger inside her tight opening.