Sunny's Second Chance

by Nola Cross

  Why couldn’t Ben have been a black man?

  Chapter 4

  The rest of the day unfolded for Ben like some kind of magical Hallmark card. After eating their lunch from the tailgate of the SUV, they boarded the crowded hay wagon for a ride to the barn. Inside the fragrant, cavernous space, he and Sunny spent almost an hour watching as Spencer and Jasmine held hands and threaded their way among dozens of other children, visiting each animal pen and taking the time to meet each baby animal personally. Sunny dispensed sanitizer liberally. And Ben captured lots of memories on his phone’s camera.

  He reviewed the shots as he sat shoulder to shoulder with Sunny in the hay wagon on the return trip to the parking lot.

  “Here’s a great one of Jasmine. Look at that smile. Talk about a Christmas light.”

  He extended the camera toward her and she leaned slightly in his direction so that the faux fur trim of her parka brushed his cheek. Sitting there beside her, Ben was washed with a sense of contentment he hadn’t felt since Corrine’s diagnosis. For so long, he had been preoccupied with the endings of things. Their last Christmas together. The last trip to the grocery store as a family.

  The last time he and Corrine had made love.

  They had both sensed it was probably the last time. The daily chemo had drained her and stolen her appetite, so she was weak and thin. When he held her close, her body had felt so insubstantial, he knew without a doubt that she was leaving him. They had both cried.

  And so it was surprising to wake up here in the hay wagon to a sense of new beginnings, less than a year after his wife’s death. Again he questioned himself. Wasn’t it too soon? Shouldn’t he mourn her longer? He looked down at the photo now on the screen. Earlier, he had passed his phone to a woman in the wagon and asked her to take a shot of the four of them. The resulting photo captured the simple joys of the day to perfection. When he looked at the open gladness on his son’s face, he knew for sure the time for mourning had passed.

  He would never forget Corrine. Spencer would always have the essence of his mother’s love imbedded in him. But it would serve nothing to stay behind in the dark cave of grief from which he now felt himself emerging.

  By the time they reached the SUV, the children were sagging. Dusk gathered close. They joined a short line of cars at the gate, where he paid for the trees and a worker made sure their purchases were tied securely to the luggage rack. As Ben pulled out onto the dark country road, the car was filled with silence. A quick glance behind told him the kids had already fallen asleep.

  “That was a great afternoon,” he said. “Thanks so much for coming with us.”

  “Thank you for inviting us.”

  He felt her glance in his direction but kept his eyes on the road.

  “And the lunch was wonderful. Especially those cookies. Do you do a lot of baking from scratch?” He could imagine how it must have smelled in her kitchen as the warm chocolaty cookies came out of the oven. No one had baked anything in his kitchen in many, many months, though his mom often brought store-bought goodies for Spencer. It wasn’t the same of course.

  “I do bake a lot this time of year. Later this week I’ll be taking several dozen sugar cookies to the local senior center for their Christmas party. Jasmine will be helping me decorate them. The old folks will love that. They love it when I bring her along.”

  “What got you started doing that?”

  “My elderly neighbor spends every Thursday afternoon there playing cards with her friends.”

  “Nice.”

  Ben took his eyes from the road just long enough to glance at her profile, which was barely illuminated by the dashboard glow.

  God, she’s gorgeous.

  And just when had baking sugar cookies for seniors become such a turn on?

  Sunny Williamson seemed to have it all. She was smart and kind and beautiful. A great mom. And she smelled amazing.

  His cock stirred in his lap. Oh yeah. He was definitely through mourning.

  They didn’t talk much on the drive home, but the silence was a comfortable one. He put some quiet Christmas music on the CD player, and she made a remark or two about the songs as they came on. When they neared their neighborhood, Sunny asked him if he ever shopped at the Value Mart on the corner. She told him she liked their produce, because it seemed to be fresher than what she could get at the bigger grocery chains. He made a mental note to check that out. He and Spencer should both be eating better. She asked about his plans for the week, since Spencer was out of school. He told her he had made arrangements to work from home both weeks. Sunny asked what he did and he gave her a cursory explanation. The conversation felt easy, as if they had known each other longer than only a few days.

  They pulled into her driveway. Leaving the motor running, he cracked his door open.

  “If you can get your picnic basket, I’ll carry Jasmine inside,” he whispered.

  “Okay. But what if Spencer wakes up while you’re gone?”

  “He’s a heavy sleeper. He’ll be fine. I’ll only be in the house for a minute.”

  He undid Jasmine’s seat belt and scooped the little girl up in his arms, then followed Sunny through the back door. They went up a few steps and into a roomy kitchen, where a night light burned above the stove. For a moment he thought he could still detect the smell of cookies in the air.

  “This way.” She beckoned from another doorway.

  He went behind her down the hall and into a small, dimly lit bedroom that was decorated with posters of ponies and fairies. He laid Jasmine on the bed and turned to go.

  “Thank you, Ben,” she whispered, following him out into the hall.

  He came to a stop there, where a slice of soft yellow light came from what was probably the bathroom door. It fell directly across her face, making her eyes shine like golden pools.

  “You’re welcome.” His heart was suddenly going a million miles an hour.

  “I had a wonderful day. Jasmine did too. The best day in a long time.”

  “Good. Good. I’ll email you the pictures.”

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  Several beats of awkward silence ticked by. He cleared his throat and took a half step forward. They were still whispering.

  “Sunny.”

  “Yes?”

  “I had a wonderful day too.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I really want to kiss you.” His heart slammed even harder in his chest.

  She stared up at him for several seconds. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

  “Yes. I do.” Before she could stop him, he grasped her shoulders and pulled her in.

  They were both still dressed in their coats, so he had only the vaguest impression of her breasts and hips pressed against him. He hovered above her lips for only a second, enough time to register the look of surprise on her face and then the sweep of her lashes as she let her eyes close and lifted her mouth to his.

  Her lips were full and cushy, and she still tasted faintly of the mint candy cane she’d been sucking during the drive home. As he pressed his mouth to hers, careful to keep the kiss chaste, his whole body reacted. To her smell, her softness. To the kittenish sound she was making deep in her throat. His belly tightened and his cock hardened. His blood raced in his veins.

  Holy shit! He was so ready to take this to the next level. Somehow he managed to rein himself in. He pulled his lips away from hers and stepped back, leaving her with a stunned expression on her face.

  “Good night,” he whispered, and turned to go, not waiting for a response.

  * * * *

  Fingers on her parted lips, Sunny stood in the dark and watched as Ben disappeared down the hallway.

  What the hell just happened?

  All afternoon they had kept things lighthearted and platonic, nothing more than two single parents and their kids on an afternoon adventure. On the ride home he had hardly said two words to her as they listened to music and shared a companionable silence. It had been low-key and very
pleasant. She really had not seen this coming.

  Oh sure, she’d caught his appreciative glance a couple of times, but nothing that had warned her he was preparing to make this kind of move.

  But she had to admit, it felt good.

  Not only the kiss. As kisses went it was fairly unremarkable. Warm and sweet with maybe the faintest hint of fireworks. Surely promising. Her lips were still tingling a little. His technique was good. But it simply hadn’t lasted long enough to tell very much from it. And yet her body was suddenly alive with a new energy, a hot excitement she hadn’t felt in forever.

  I feel sexy.

  Yeah, that was it. The way he had looked at her today, as if everything about her was fine, maybe even more than fine, was stirring up some of her long-dead feminine confidence. After years of living with Charles, she had really thought she’d lost any mojo she once might have had. But in one afternoon, Ben’s reaction to her had begun to restore its luster.

  Was that wrong? To feel as if one man could take away or another could give you back your sexiness? Maybe. But right or wrong, it was a simple fact that sexiness occurred in the eye of the beholder. Ben beheld her as sexy, or so it seemed, and therefore she felt sexy.

  Or maybe she had misunderstood. Maybe that kiss had been nothing more than a polite thank you for a nice time. Some people kissed and hugged at the drop of a hat with no romantic intentions involved. Was she just so starved for male approval that she was ready to read meaning into a quick peck on the lips where there was none intended? How embarrassing!

  As she crept into Jasmine’s room once more and began to carefully unbutton her daughter’s coat, Sunny’s heart pattered an odd kind of tap dance in her chest. What should she do next? She was so out of her depth here. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted the kiss to mean something. Sure, Ben was a great guy, a great dad. And yes, he was even kind of handsome in that pale, blue-eyed, white-guy kind of way. And there had been a clear physical reaction to his kiss, which told her they might have some good chemistry between them. But attempting to pull off an interracial romance seemed like a lost cause. So many issues to resolve, so much bigotry still existed, even in a progressive city like Portland.

  And what about family? Hers weren’t really a factor, scattered as they were, but what about his parents? They lived right there in the neighborhood. Would they approve? Or would they make trouble?

  Maybe she should call LaRonda tomorrow and ask for more details about what had gone wrong between her and her white fiancé.

  As Sunny pulled off Jasmine’s coat and then her little boots and socks, the girl sighed and opened her eyes.

  “Hi, Mama.” Her voice was thick with sleep.

  “Shhh. Go back to sleep.” Sunny kissed her smooth forehead, groaning inwardly. Now that Jasmine was awake, they were probably in for at least a half hour of bedtime angst: storybooks, night lights, and endless reassurances.

  “Mama?”

  “Yes, babydoll?”

  “I had a really fun time today.”

  “That’s good. So did I.”

  “I liked the animals best, especially the bunnies.”

  “They were cute.”

  “And soft. I’d like to have a bunny some day.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Mama?”

  “Yes?”

  “I really like Spencer. And I like his dad too. They’re both nice.”

  “Yes, they are.”

  “I hope I can play with Spencer again.”

  “I’m not sure—”

  “Good night, Mama.” Jasmine shut her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. That was the last Sunny heard from her for the rest of the night.

  * * * *

  When Ben pulled into his own driveway five minutes later, he barely noticed the unfamiliar luxury sedan parked at the curb. There were people inside, but in the dark he couldn’t make out their faces. Probably they were visiting the neighbors across the street. The Johnsons seemed to have lots of company at all hours.

  He got out of the SUV and opened the back door to unbuckle his sleeping son’s seat belt. If his luck held, they could make it into the house and up to Spencer’s bed before the little guy woke up. Then he could spend a couple of hours in his home office, getting ready for the work week. Realistically, he didn’t expect to accomplish much in the next two weeks. You couldn’t expect a five-year-old boy to entertain himself for long.

  He was also anxious to email Sunny tonight with the pictures he’d taken that day. More than anything, he wanted to reach out to her right away, to let her know again what a great time he had had, and how much he looked forward to whatever was to come next. That kiss had been an intriguing hint at what might be possible between them. He was more than ready to push on and explore a full-blown relationship with her.

  A relationship with all the trimmings.

  He bent to put his arms under Spencer’s body, and as he did so, his glance fell on the two Christmas trees tied to the top of the car. Damn it! In his post-kiss glow, he’d forgotten to leave Sunny’s tree at her back door as planned.

  Now he’d just have to go back and see her again. Tomorrow. He grinned at the happy thought.

  “We almost gave up and left.”

  Ben wheeled at the woman’s shrill voice. Coming across the dark lawn were two figures. As they came into the circle of yellow cast by the back porch light, he saw it was Stan and Kathy Holt, Corrine’s parents. Ben felt a guilty heat rise in his cheeks at the same time as his joyous mood evaporated.

  “Oh. Hello, folks. I didn’t recognize your car. Is it new?”

  “Just off the showroom floor last week.” He could practically see Stan’s chest puff out. The man took inordinate pride in buying the latest overpriced American car every year. “Twenty miles to the gallon. All leather interior. Heated seats. Parking assist, rearview camera, and GPS of course.”

  “Stan.” Kathy’s warning tone said she was sick of hearing about their latest ride. She approached Ben with arms spread. “Give us a hug.”

  He dutifully put his arms around her and squeezed with care. His mother-in-law was very slim and toned. In her expensive sweater, it was rather like hugging a cold side of venison wrapped in cashmere. And then there was the thick cloud of vanilla perfume that followed her everywhere. Whew!

  “Is that my wittle Spency Wency?” She peered past him. Spencer slept on, oblivious.

  “Yes. I’m afraid he’s pretty tuckered out. We had a big day at the tree farm.”

  “What fun.” Her gaze brushed the top of the car. “Why do you have two trees?”

  “I…uh…cut one for a friend.”

  “Oh, isn’t that nice.”

  For the first time he noticed that Stan was carrying a large shopping bag full of wrapped gifts. Damn! He really needed to get the rest of his shopping done in time to ship things off this week.

  “Do you want to come in for a minute? I’m hoping to get Spencer up to bed without waking him up.”

  Kathy’s face fell. “We drove all this way to surprise him. We haven’t seen him since September, remember? Can’t you wake him for a few minutes?”

  Ben felt another twinge of guilt. Even though he’d never been particularly close to Corrine’s folks, they were his son’s grandparents. It was only fair to let them see the little guy when they came to town. He just wished they would have called first. Some warning would have been nice. Thank God they lived four hours away in Seattle. He couldn’t imagine having to deal with them on a regular basis.

  He knelt beside his son. “Hey, buddy,” he said softly. He stroked Spencer’s hair.

  Nothing.

  Never one for subtleties, Kathy reached past him and shook the boy’s shoulder. “Spencer, wake up and give your Gram-Gram a kiss!”

  The child startled awake, rubbing his eyes and blinking in the light.

  “That’s my boy. That’s my Spency Wency.” Kathy pounced, covering his cheeks with loud kisses.

  “Let’s all go in the house where
it’s warm.” Ben stepped in and rescued his son, lifting and carrying him to the door. Spencer clung like a leech to his neck, still disoriented. Once inside the house, Ben went ahead of his in-laws, turning on lights and flicking the thermostat up a few degrees. In the living room he pointed toward the hutch. “Scotch is in there as usual, Stan. Ice in the mini-fridge below.”

  As his father-in-law made himself a drink, Ben took Spencer’s coat off and settled him in a corner of the couch. “Would you like some wine, Kathy? I have a nice Riesling.”

  “Lovely,” she said, sitting down next to her grandson. “Wait ’til you see what Gram-Gram and Grandpa brought for you. Do you like science? Did you know Grandpa works for a company that makes important medicines?”

  Ben knew it was a source of Stan’s deepest pain that the pharmaceuticals made by the conglomerate he worked for had been unable to stop the spread of his daughter’s cancer. It seemed an odd thing for Kathy to bring up.

  “Open it!” she said, handing Spencer a gaily wrapped box.

  “I’ll get some scissors.” Ben left the room. By the time he was back with Kathy’s wine and the scissors, a second wrapped gift had come out of the bag and lay on the coffee table.

  “This one is for you.” She pushed the large flat package toward him.

  As Kathy helped Spencer unwrap what turned out to be a beginner’s chemistry set, Ben sat down and peeled away the gold foil on his own gift.

  “I’m afraid I haven’t finished my own shopping yet,” he said. “Now that I’m off work for a couple of weeks I hope to—” His forced joviality died on his tongue as the item in his hands was revealed. It was a large framed portrait of a woman who resembled Corrine.

  “Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t our girl just stunning?” Kathy’s voice trembled.

  Speechless, Ben stared down at the formal studio portrait.

  “When was this taken?” he finally managed, his mouth so dry he could barely speak. Shock and despair stabbed at his chest.

  “You remember two summers ago when she and Spencer came to spend a week with us? Before her diagnosis? We had a barbeque with some of her old friends and one of them was taking candid shots out on the patio.”