Rewriting Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC #1)

by Shelly Morgan

  I wanted to draw something that I could incorporate his brother into. So I did some research and came up with an idea; it would be mostly military themed, but with a little twist. I drew the boots, rifle, and helmet for the memorial. Then I added the Texas Longhorns symbol on one side and a motorcycle on the other. I figured since they both wanted to play football together and loved motorcycles, it would be the perfect combination. On the top in big block letters I wrote ‘He Gave His Life For Me’…and on the bottom, ‘I Live, Play & Ride For Him.’

  Tonight is the party for all the seniors who graduated this year. I have an hour before Zane will be ready to go, so I jump in the shower to wash my hair and shave my legs. After I dry myself off, I go over to my closet to figure out what to wear. I decide to go with my favorite pair of jeans. They are old and faded but they fit me perfectly and are comfortable. I throw on a plain white tank top that shows a hint of my midriff, then complete it with my cowboy boots. I don’t have time to do anything with my hair, so I just throw it up into a messy bun and call it good. I’ll add a bit of makeup, and I’ll be ready.

  Just as I’m finishing with my mascara, I hear Zane honk his horn outside. I grab the folder with the tattoo sketch in it and run down the stairs. I stop to give my grandmother a kiss and tell her I’ll be back later. She looks up from her book and gives me a tired smile. “Have fun, and be safe.”

  Concerned, I force a smile and ask, “Are you feeling okay, Gram?” She looks so worn out. She is barely able to get around anymore.

  “I’m fine, sweetheart, just tired. I’m going to go to bed early. Don’t you worry about me.” She gets up and starts to head for her room.

  “Okay, Gram. I love you!” I tell her as I head outside.

  Zane is waiting for me in his driveway. I take a good look at him, and holy shit does he look good. He’s wearing his favorite black boots, an old pair of faded jeans that have tears in the knees, a black t-shirt, and the cap I got him for his birthday, on backwards. His dark brown hair is cut so short that it’s hidden by the hat. His green eyes, which are so deep they almost look gray, sparkle with mirth. Add his signature smirk, and damn that boy is H.O.T.

  “Hey, Baby Girl!” he says as I run up and give him a hug. He’s been calling me Baby Girl for the last couple months. I’m not sure why he does it since I’m sixteen now, but I like it anyway.

  “Looking good, college boy!” I tell him with a smile and give him a wink.

  He laughs at me and opens the passenger door. “Get in the truck, smartass.”

  “I’d rather be a smartass than a dumbass,” I say with a chuckle as I slide into the truck and wait for him to walk around to his side. Once he’s in, he starts the truck and cranks up the music.

  ***

  We pull into the field by the lake a little after seven. There are a lot of people here already, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since Zane is the most popular guy in the senior class. Star quarterback on our football team, champion for the last three years in wrestling, and he was also nominated Prom King this year.

  We head over to where his friends from the football team are all standing around the keg. Most of them are seniors like Zane. There are a couple that will be taking their place next year, but I don’t really recognize them except for a guy I know whose name is Jaxon. Someone hands Zane a red Solo cup filled with beer, which he passes over to me. Now that’s what I call service! I smile at him and start to walk away to see who I can find to sit with while he talks with his buddies. Before I even get a couple steps away, someone is pulling me back by the waist.

  “Where do you think you’re going, beautiful?” I recognize the voice as Zane’s best friend—Kolby.

  “Well, I was going to go find a place to sit down and drink my beer away from you circus clowns,” I tell him with a laugh and go to remove his hands so I can get away.

  “Oh, come on, at least have a drink with us first. It is our party, ya know.”

  I turn around to look at him and then over to Zane. At first when I glance at his face, he’s staring at Kolby’s hands around my waist with a glare of utter hatred. But before I can really think about it, he looks up at me and puts on his trademark smirk and winks.

  “Fine, I’ll have one drink with you guys, then I’m going to see if I can find some girls to hang with.” I glance back over at Kolby, who is holding his hand over his heart.

  “You wound me, babe!” Whatever. I lift up my cup and say cheers to them all.

  After finishing my drink with the guys, I get myself a refill, then head off to see who’s here. I spot Becca, Leanne, and Tori over by the lake sitting around a small fire. I pull up a chair beside Tori.

  “Hello, ladies!” I say with a smile. We aren’t close friends by any means, but they are usually the ones I hang out with at these parties. They are seniors this year as well, so if I decide to come to any parties after this year, I’ll have to find new people to drink with.

  After chatting with them and nursing my drink for an hour, I head over to the keg for another refill. As I’m filling my cup, Zane comes over holding a brown paper bag. “How about we break out the good stuff? What do ya say, Baby Girl?”

  I drop my eyes down to the bag, then lift them back up at him. I tip my full beer to my lips and chug the whole thing. “Abso-fucking-lutley!” I yell.

  He pours us each a shot, then we hold our cups up in the air. “To Zeke,” he says.

  I share a sad smile with him and clink my plastic cup with his. “To Zeke,” I reply. We down the shot, then fill it with another. “To new beginnings,” he says for his next toast. “To college boys,” I say next, with a laugh when he gives me a look that says “Really?” Then we down that shot too.

  We spend the rest of the night drinking the bottle of Jack Daniels and sharing memories of the good times we had with Zeke and our plans for the future. When the bottle is empty and the keg is gone, we head back to his truck. Once inside, we sit there trying to sober up a bit before heading home. We’re staring out into the night and listening to music from the radio.

  “Thank you for tonight, Zane! I think that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I don’t know what I’m going to do when you leave,” I tell him after a couple minutes of silence. I’m really going to miss him when he leaves.

  “I’m glad you had a good time, Baby Girl. And don’t worry, I’ll be back,” he says as he turns and looks at me. I flinch a little at his last words, remembering that his brother said those exact words before he left. It never happened, but I’m hoping this time will be different. Zane will come back to me. At least I really hope he does.

  “Your gram is going to be so pissed,” he says after a while.

  I laugh and tell him, “Nah, she told me to have a good time. She knows you’re leaving soon, and since I don’t go out much anyway, she wanted me to get out of the house and have fun.” After the words leave my mouth, he stares at me. I can’t look away. I feel like I’m under a spell. There’s something about the way he’s looking at me that is making my head spin.

  I shake my head and am finally able to look away. What was that? It felt like I was floating, as if I couldn’t breathe. I hear him clear his throat, then he puts the truck into gear. “I better get you home.”

  I don’t want to leave, I want to stay here in this moment forever. It feels almost perfect, but it scares me too. I have no idea what I’m feeling right now, but it feels like more than the brother/sister/best friend bond we have had for the past couple years. Like my feelings for him are growing, changing.

  He pulls up into his driveway, so I get out to walk over to my house. When I’m almost to the porch, I turn around. “Oh, hey! I can’t believe I forgot to give this to you.” I pull the folder out of my purse that holds my drawing and walk up to hand it to him.

  I watch his face as he opens the folder. He looks at it for the longest time with a blank expression on his face.

  “It’s for a tattoo. I thought it would be something you could get, sor
t of as a memorial for Zeke,” I whisper with a small smile on my face. I’m so afraid that I did a horrible job and he’ll hate it.

  After about a minute of him not saying anything, I start to get uncomfortable and feel worried. Maybe I should take it back so he doesn’t feel like he has to keep it. I shouldn’t have given him anything that would make him remember he lost his brother. I should have drawn something different or given him something else.

  Finally, he looks up at me and a blinding smile takes over his whole face. Wow…just wow. He is so beautiful. That smile, it’s like I told him he won the lottery. I have to look away because it’s too much.

  “It’s amazing, Baby Girl. I love it,” he says. Then he walks over and tips my face up to look up at him. “You’re amazing. Thank you for making this for me.”

  Oh my God, I think I’m going to pass out. He’s so close, and he’s touching me. The way he’s looking at me is like I hung the moon for him and it’s making me feel crazy things. It’s like I have a swarm of bees in my stomach.

  I step out of his reach and look away again. “You’re welcome. I thought it would be something you might like,” I say with a shy smile. I look in his eyes for a second and then start walking backwards. “Well, thanks again for tonight. I’ll see ya later.” I give him a little wave and jog up to my porch.

  Once in my room, I quickly undress and jump into bed. I lie there thinking about the night. I go over every detail—the fun we had, the way he touched me, and the feelings I got when it seemed like he was staring into my soul. Just as I’m on the verge of sleep, a thought passes through my head.

  I’m falling in love with Zane Hendricks.

  Chapter 2

  The sun is shining brightly and I’m with Zane on his motorcycle. I’m pressed up against his back with my arms wound tightly around his stomach, and my thighs are squeezing his hips. I can feel the vibrations from the bike underneath me and his hard abdominal muscles under my hands. It feels so real and natural, like I was meant to be here with him like this.

  He pulls over by the lake; then suddenly the sky turns dark and not even the moon can be seen over the water of the lake. He reaches back and pulls me over his leg so I’m straddling him on the bike. I should be nervous or stop him, but it feels so right, like we’ve done this exact thing a million times before.

  I look into his eyes and I see not just his love for me as a friend, but something new, something that builds a fire deep down inside me. I lift my hand and run it along his jaw. “I love you, Zane.” It comes out smooth, as if I’ve said it to him before. He looks deeply into my eyes, like he’s searching for something.

  Then, suddenly, in the distance, thunder booms and lightning flashes. It scares me so bad, I jump in his lap. I look off into the distance and see a storm brewing. I turn back to tell him we should go, but when I do, he’s not my Zane anymore. He’s this hardened version of himself, and he’s looking at me with such contempt and hatred that it makes me fall off of him and the bike. I get to my feet in front of him and reach for him, but he turns his head in disgust. He turns the bike around and leaves me there, alone.

  It starts raining, and I hit my knees and my arms reach out to him automatically like it will make him return to me. “Zane! Come back! I love you! I need you, please don’t leave me!” But he doesn’t even look back, and then he’s gone completely from my sight.

  ***

  I gasp and sit up in bed. I can’t breathe and my body is trembling so hard I can almost hear my bed shaking. My clothes are sticking to my skin, soaked from my sweat. What the fuck was that?

  I’m so far in my head, I barely register that someone is walking up the stairs. It can’t be Gram; she hasn’t been up here in years. Then there’s a knock at my bedroom door.

  “Baby Girl, you awake?”

  Zane. What the hell is he doing here?

  “Um…yeah, give me a minute.” I jump out of bed and toss my drenched clothes on the floor, then slip into a pair of yoga Capri pants and a sweatshirt. “Uh, you can come in now.” I sit back on my bed with my arms wrapped around my knees and wait for him to walk in. When he opens the door, he looks around my room and then his eyes land on me.

  “I didn’t wake you, did I?” he asks with a sexy smirk on his face.

  “No, um, I’ve been up for a while. What are you doing here?” I glance at him and then lower my eyes. I can’t even bear to look at him; all I can see is the face I saw in my dream. The one before his expression hardened.

  “Well, it’s past lunch time, but I was wondering if you wanted to go get some breakfast with me.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

  He comes over and sits on my bed. I’m suddenly nervous, even though I shouldn’t be. I mean, he’s been in my room numerous times before. We’ve even lain in my bed and he’s held me while I’ve slept. Why does it feel so different today? Oh yeah, maybe because last night I realized I’m falling for him. “Um…I should really stay here. Gram wasn’t looking well last night.” Please don’t question me, please don’t make this into a big deal. Walk away, Zane, just walk away.

  “Oh no. I talked to Gram when I got here and she said she must have just been tired last night, but she feels fine now. She said I should drag you out of your bed if I have to. So, come on, get up. I’m hungry, and I’m not taking no for an answer. End of discussion.” He gets up and strides to the door. Before exiting my room, he glances over his shoulder. “If you aren’t downstairs in five minutes, I’m coming back up here. And trust me, it will not be pleasant. For you, anyway.” He mumbles the last part and I almost don’t catch it. Then he walks out of my room and I can hear him whistling as he goes down the stairs.

  Well, shit! This is just what I need today, hanging out with him after last night and that fucked-up dream I had. But I know how stubborn he is when he has his mind set on something. I quickly get up to get dressed. The sooner I go and get it over with, the sooner I can come back home to try and figure out what the hell I’m feeling.

  I head down the stairs, stop to give my grandmother a kiss, and head out the door with Zane not far behind me. He walks over to his bike, hops on, and hands me my helmet. This just isn’t my day. Of course we would have to ride his bike after the dream I had.

  On the way to the diner I try to figure out what the hell is going on with me. Could I really be falling for him? I mean, we have always been close, like brother and sister. But after last night, it’s like there is a shift in our relationship. Or maybe it was just me and all the alcohol I consumed at the party last night. Maybe I need to stop thinking so much and forget about it.

  ***

  The past month has flown by, filled with softball practice and games, and spending as much time as I can with Zane. At the same time, I've been going back and forth in my head on whether to keep distance between him and me. Or maybe I should continue on like I didn’t have that mind-numbing epiphany the night of the party. Not only is it stressful, but it’s exhausting, both physically and mentally. I don’t know what is going on with me. I can’t get the idea out of my head that there has been a shift in our relationship, but I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe things are changing because he’s going away soon and I’m getting older? But what I fear the most is that I’m actually falling in love with him. I don’t know what I would do if that is the case; there is no way he returns those feelings, and I don’t want to lose him as a friend by bringing up that I may feel more for him than just friendship.

  On top of all of that, my grandmother hasn’t been herself since she got back from one of her doctor’s appointments a couple weeks ago. It seems like she is always sleeping. Today I even found her asleep in her recliner. I’m trying to get her to make another appointment with Dr. Tatum, but she says there is nothing wrong with her but old age. I don’t believe her, but what else can I do? I worry that I’m losing her, that it’s been too hard on her taking care of me for the past thirteen years.

  I’m in the middle of cooking some soup for my grandmother, since she hasn’t
been getting around well and I want to make sure that she is at least eating, when the doorbell rings. I go to the front door to see who it is. When I peek through the curtain, I see Zane on the other side. When he sees me looking at him, he makes a funny face at me, which has me laughing. I open the door and head back into the kitchen. “Hey, I’m making Gram some soup. Ya want some?” I ask.

  “You know I can’t pass up food when you’re cooking, Baby Girl.” That makes me laugh even harder, because he and I both know that I’m a crappy cook. I’m only even attempting to make something because I feel I have to for my grandmother's sake.

  “Ha ha, you’re so funny. One day my cooking skills will be amazing, and you won’t get to eat any!” I stick my tongue out at him, loving the way he can make me forget all that has been getting me down with only a few simple words.

  After I take my grandmother her lunch, I sit at the table with Zane sitting across from me. “So what’s up?” I ask him. He’s been coming over every day for the past week to see if I want to hang out, but I haven’t wanted to leave Gram.

  “I was thinking about going swimming at the lake, and you’re coming with.” He doesn’t ask, he tells me. “Then we’re going to a party tonight.”

  Swimming does sound fun, and with today feeling like it’s going to be the hottest day in recorded history, it’d be great to take a dip in the lake to cool off.

  “Oh my God, that sounds amazing! Who’s all going?” I get up to put my empty bowl in the sink and turn back toward him.

  “Just you and me. I asked Kolby if he wanted to go, but he’s busy finishing up some last minute things before he leaves for California in a couple weeks.” Whoa, what? I thought Kolby was going with Zane and a couple others to the University of Texas. He must have read my mind, because he says, “Yeah, he was going to come with me, but I guess his dad really wanted him to go to California. Says he wants him to follow in his footsteps, or some shit like that.”