Refusing to Fall (Dennison Series Book 3)

by Ferraro, W

  When he had gotten home from Sanctuary, he had one mission and one mission only; to get so pissed drunk that he would forget everything. He wanted to erase his ability to feel.

  But the only thing he accomplished as he emptied the first bottle was that in the solitude of his home, he remembered why he had stayed away from here. More than once last night, after he pulled bottle after bottle down from his liquor cabinet, did he hear phantom reenactments of her voice, her moans, her sensual demands for him to make her body and soul sing. He swore at least once, if not twice, he thought Colby was here in this room with him.

  However, as the amber liquid continued to run down his throat, he didn’t get the outcome of nothingness. It was just the opposite, in fact; he could replay the events of the evening in perfect detail. How her nose scrunched up in the slightest when she spoke with Dustin, signaling her sincerity. How her normal calm and easiness was nowhere to be found when they were alone. Instead, pain and devastation replaced them. His presence did nothing to aid her in this. No, it was the reason such emotions emanated out of her. Let us not forget how she practically had to hold herself together as to not crumple when she told him that he made her feel like nothing more than a poorly paid prostitute.

  So as his head spun from the aftereffects of his apparently poorly chosen emotional remedy, he would not complain. It was nothing in comparison to what he had caused her.

  Reed opened his other eye and noticed the two canvases that rested just a few inches from his feet. He tried to sit up to get a better look at them, but his current condition reared its ugly head then. Reed laid back down, breathing deeply to stop the room from spinning.

  With eyes closed, an image came to him from the back of his eyelids. A perfect vision, simplicity and grandeur wrapped up together in the form of Colby—stripped of makeup, looking as if she had just stepped out of the shower, cheeks and skin rosy and healthy. Eyes so large and clear that you would think you were looking in a bakery’s case at the most decadent and unbelievable chocolate creations that just had your mouth screaming for a taste. Hair and body so perfect they begged to be touched, if not for pleasure to confirm that such perfection was, in fact, real. She wore just a long white t-shirt and her gorgeous smile for him. She was his line on the horizon. She was what he focused on as his body went through the unpleasant motion-causing nausea. He just continued to focus on her image, and soon, she began to fade, her image taking steps away from him until she was nothing but a minuscule dot that could no longer be recognizable as his everything.

  When he opened his eyes again, the room no longer spun but the heaviness in which he felt returned with a vengeance. He slowly pulled himself up to a sitting position and was able to move enough that he sat on the coffee table, forgoing the overly priced sofa and chair that were mere feet away. He sat with his legs spread wide, and his elbows resting on thighs as his hands cradled his head.

  Reed willed the perfect perception of Colby to return to his mind, but all that he could see now was the saddened and reality version from ten hours ago.

  Raising his head once more, he stared at the two canvases, not knowing who or when they got here, but appreciative just the same.

  She made mention that he practically broke her, but the truth was he was completely shattered.

  He lost track of how long he just stared at the pieces of priceless art, envisioning how she looked when she was painting them. How she looked when he instructed her to cover herself in paint; how she felt when he covered her in paint, how perfect they fit together and how amazing she felt.

  Minutes, hours, days—who knew how long he sat there reliving both the wonder and tragedy of his time with Colby when his front door opened, and he heard someone climb the steps.

  A descriptive phrase of what the visitor could do to themselves was on the tip of his tongue when he heard the undeniable click of expensive heels.

  “There you are! I really would have been pissed if I had to file a missing person’s report,” Lacey said, taking off her pink leather driving gloves and placing them in her coat pocket.

  Reed never moved his eyes away from the canvases but spoke clearly despite the dryness of his throat, “Don’t know how the hell you got in, but I don’t give a shit. Just see yourself out the same way.”

  Lacey looked around the main living area, taking in all of Reed’s décor with obvious distaste, before saying easily, “No can do. We have a lot to do today, and you hiding out here isn’t going to get any of it done.”

  “Fuck off, Lacey. I’m not in the mood for your drill sergeant orders.”

  Stopping to looking at the canvases, and obviously finding nothing of value, Lacey finally turned her full attention to the unshaven and unshowered man.

  “You know, Reed, I’m really getting tired of your bullshit. Do you have any concept of how lucky you are and how much of a virtual victory I’ve made your campaign? Would it really be so difficult for you to show just a little appreciation? I have other things to do rather than come and dig you out of unnecessary personal holes if you would just listen.”

  Refusing to answer her specific barbs and out of line insults, Reed just continued to stare at his new prized possessions.

  “Fine! You want to get into it, then we’ll get into it. What the hell were you thinking going to that poor excuse for an art show last night? I mean, it was a miracle I was able to keep the press at bay.”

  With clenched teeth, Reed seethed, “Didn’t ask you to. In fact, I would have been glad to give a truthful interview to why I was there.”

  Lacey sat down next to him, and as if she had every right to, she laid her head on his shoulder. “And that is why I’m grateful I was smart enough to know to keep the press away. You spouting whatever bullshit you were going to about the little artist just would have made my day difficult, and you should know by now I don’t do unscripted.”

  Reed jerked his shoulder before standing up and walking away from her. He stepped into his kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. Lacey followed.

  “Please don’t tell me you are still stuck on her?”

  “Colby and what I feel for her is absolutely none of your business, Lacey.” Reed turned to her, hoping she understood the severity in which he meant every word.

  Lacey put her head down before looking at him coyly as she walked closer to him until she was so close that barely enough space was between them for air to pass by. She ran one of her French manicured nails down the line of buttons of his wrinkled shirt.

  “I just thought with all the time we’ve been spending together, you would see plenty of other women are much more on your level and could give you much more than she ever could.”

  Lacey’s behavior disgusted Reed, but he was furious by her words even more. He extracted himself from her by placing much-needed space between them. “Who? You? You couldn’t hold a candle to Colby.”

  Apparently, Lacey thought she was desired above all others, or at least that was the interpretation her absolutely appalled expression said.

  “Is that a fact?” she hissed.

  “Might as well be carved in stone,” Reed responded, crossing his arms over his chest.

  She matched his stance, leaning a DKNY clad hip against his counter. “Well, I have to say, I’m surprised to hear you say that. Especially after that dinner we shared in Concord.”

  “You mean the dinner when you had one too many Manhattans and you passed the key to your room at the Hilton across the tablecloth? The same dinner where I left the key right there on the table and told you clearly that I prefer my women soft and sweet, not with biting teeth and the feel of tossing a rock into the Grand Canyon?”

  Lacey smacked her palm clear across his face, causing the right side of his face to sting. She raised her hand to do it again, but he was faster this time, grabbing hold of her wrist. “Do it again, and I will personally put my name as the byline on page one. I’m sure many will find it fascinating how you slept your way through your clients and how
you are still sleeping around with most of them, depending on which state you are in. Let’s face it; such a black mark on one’s resume could truly make finding credible and national level campaigns nearly impossible. Not to mention monogamy isn’t exactly your strong suit, now is it?”

  Lacey’s blue eyes widened, and she sputtered, “I don’t know where you think you got your information . . .”

  Standing to his full height, he said, “I’m quite confident my information is more than accurate, but if you want to push me to see if I can follow through, then by all means, please do.”

  “You are making a big mistake threatening me!” she balked.

  “Bring it, because whatever you can dish out, I can more than take. Maybe then, you will understand just how much I mean when I say I don’t care about any of this anymore. Especially not when it has cost me the most important thing in my world. Everything in comparison to her is sufficiently disproportioned.”

  “You’re willing to sacrifice everything you’ve worked so hard for, for nothing more than a whore?”

  Reed had never struck a woman in his life, but suddenly, the inkling to do such a thing ricocheted through him.

  “If you ever say anything less than wonderful about Colby Jackson again, you’ll see how quick I can get New York Times, the Boston Globe, not to mention multiple television outlets on the phone.”

  This threat apparently was what it took to get through to Lacey. Without a word, she walked out of his kitchen.

  Good fucking riddance.

  Colby sat on Paige’s couch, staring out the large front window, watching the sun rise from behind the tall trees that surrounded Paige’s place. She knew it was childish, but she didn’t want to go back to her place last night. Afraid of the unwanted visitors she would have or feeling nothing but disappointment when no visitors showed.

  She knew she should be focusing on the success of her art show, the impressive amount of money that she would soon be depositing into her savings account, and the amazing support she had received from the majority of the town.

  However, what she should be doing and what she actually was doing were two completely different things.

  All she could think of was his face. The look of utter pain her words caused him was crippling. How incredible it felt to feel his arms around her once more. Smelling his seductive cologne and seeing him wearing her favorite suit and looking beyond sexy with the glimpse of his strong throat at his collar where the buttons were undone.

  Whenever Delaney gave her the credit card slip for his purchase, she wanted to cry. She couldn’t accept his money. She wouldn’t.

  After he left, and she and Paige left the restroom, Colby had tried her best to put it behind her, but she just couldn’t. Dustin tried to comfort her, but his closeness only caused her to feel more uncomfortable. Bree, Delaney, and Paige cemented themselves into the friendship hall of fame, being sure to have one of the three always with her to keep Dustin and anyone else at bay.

  Colby felt terrible about misleading Dustin, but after Reed had left, it was evident that jumping into a relationship with Dustin wasn’t the answer. If anything, it would just cause her to lose a friend and make an even bigger mistake. As of right now, she could only handle so many mistakes at a time.

  She tried her best to appear normal and appreciative the rest of the night, terrified she didn’t even accomplish a percentage of it. However, Paige ensured her no one knew a thing. Colby just wasn’t sure if she believed her.

  As she focused on a bushy squirrel jumping from one snow-covered branch to another a good distance away, Colby replayed what he said on repeat in her mind. I love you. Reed had said the three words she never thought would ever register in his brain, let alone pass through his lips, and she turned the what-should-have-been magical moment into a malicious and hurtful exchange.

  How she wanted to jump into his arms and tell him that she wanted to be with him forever, but she couldn’t be selfish. She needed to put him before her. He had worked too hard and deserved to see his dreams become a reality without her weighing him down.

  Paige said she didn’t understand her reasoning, but it didn’t matter because she understood it.

  She loved him enough to let him go to achieve his dreams.

  “Morning!” Paige said coming out of her bedroom, pulling Colby from her thoughts. Colby wiped her cheeks, not believing she wasn’t aware she had been crying.

  “Colby? I hate seeing you like this. Are you sure you are doing the right thing? The right thing shouldn’t have you feeling like this,” Paige implored her, joining her on the couch.

  Bald-faced lying, she answered, “Oh, I’m fine. Promise!” She was overly perky, not convincing either of them.

  The two women sat in silence, just holding hands, neither speaking; one hoped to be offering what the other needed while the other knew she was sucking the life out of the other.

  “You know, I’ve never thanked you for all that you did for me; both before I moved here and last night, not to mention everything between.”

  “You’re family; I would do anything for you,” Paige responded easily, meaning every word.

  “No, really. You, Bree, and Delaney talked me into something I would have never done on my own. Not to mention you took care of everything. I can never repay you guys.”

  Paige sat up straight now but never let go of Colby’s hand; she squeezed it tight and looked her straight in the eyes. “You listen to me; it was as much for us as it was for you. I’m just glad you are finally seeing what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. You are a wonderful artist, and you need to share your talent with more than the Cancer House.”

  The two women continued to talk and enjoy each other’s company. Colby made coffee, and the two watched a movie on one of those tear-fest channels on cable. When the credits rolled, and both women’s faces were completely blotchy and red-nosed, Paige turned the television off and went to grab each of them a tissue.

  When both were back to composed, she faced Colby. “So Delaney was telling me that Tuesday night at Sanctuary is where Reed will be holding his, hopefully, celebratory party if not his depressing repudiatory announcement.”

  Colby just nodded along to the information, unsure of what to say.

  “But then again I don’t think there is even a way for the other guy to catch him, but anyway, back to the question; do you think you’ll be attending?” Paige asked bluntly.

  Taking her used tissue and the two empty coffee cups into the kitchen to dispose of them properly, she was surprised when Paige followed her, trapping her in the small kitchen.

  “Well?”

  “Well, what, Paige? Don’t you think it would be a little awkward if I show up? God, can you imagine what everyone will think?”

  Paige rolled her eyes. “Who gives a shit what everyone thinks? Don’t you think you should go to show your support? I mean you are going to vote for the guy, aren’t you? The whole town is going to be there; don’t you think it would speak louder if you didn’t show up?”

  Paige had a point, but Colby couldn’t think about that. She would want nothing more than to stand there in support, but to see him in person would just be too painful.

  Considering we live in the same town, We should get used to seeing each other? But if he becomes a State Senator, would he still live here?

  Colby hadn’t thought about that because she hadn’t asked him his plans. She was staying away from him so he could have the brightest future, yet she had no idea what he wanted for the future.

  A small voice began to sound in the back of her mind, but she quickly shut it down, realizing she had spent too much time in her own head these last couple of weeks.

  “I don’t think it would be a good idea if I go. Besides, Molly will definitely want to be there so someone will have to stay at the restaurant. Sounds like the perfect option for me,” Colby answered, passing Paige and heading into the bathroom to take a long hot shower.

  She had just step
ped into the blue tiled bath when she heard Paige say, “You mean the perfect option for you to hide.” Colby didn’t say anything in response, just stripped and stepped into the shower, trying not to agree with Paige’s assessment.

  “Mom! He is thirty-eight years old, not to mention the newly elected state Senator, will you stop fussing over him like he’s ten and competing in the town spelling bee,” Bree begged, trying to drag a doting Bianca away from cleaning nonexistent lint from Reed’s suit.

  This earned a grumble from the matriarch and a mumbled response, “I’m just trying to help,” to a round of uncontained chuckles from the large family circle in the private suite of the building.

  Everyone of importance was there to share this moment with him. Well, almost everyone. The election was called early, with him obtaining eighty-two percent of the vote. He had already called his opponent and graciously accepted his congratulations.

  Now all that was left was to go out and speak to the huge crowd gathered to celebrate his win with him.

  When the election win was sanctioned, Lacey left without even a “congratulations.” Reed knew that the need for a win was the only thing that kept her here today, and as soon as she could add his campaign to her resume, she was gone.

  Garrett and his entire staff had driven out to Clearwater Falls to join in the celebration. Conrad and Tom’s presence were noticeably absent but not disappointing. Reed knew that his falling out with Lacey would have certain ramifications, but he welcomed them. Now that he was in office, he had no problem clarifying who and what he would be aligned with.

  “Your mother and I are very proud of you,” Grady said, placing a hand on his son’s shoulder.

  Reed accepted the fatherly hug and returned it with equal vigor. He would never be able to repay his parents for their ongoing support. His mother was next in giving him a long, tight hug and a kiss. She fixed his tie once more before Bree was able to pull her away, after placing an admiring kiss on his cheek as well. The two women stepped away, giving the others a chance to congratulate Reed. Delaney and Molly were next to kiss the winner, followed by more unabashed, prideful hugs from each of his brothers and Jamie.