If I Loved You (Harper Falls Book 1)

by Mary J. Williams

  “I met her, once. We’d only been in town for a few weeks and I was coming out of the hardware store. Parked across the street was that ridiculously large Rolls Royce that she rides around in. I could see she was waiting for her driver so I thought I’d introduce myself.” Jack shook his head at the memory. “I tapped on the window and waited while she looked me up and down.”

  “I know that look,” Rose laughed.

  “You only have to see it once for it to be burned into your brain.” Jack pulled her in closer. No reason except that he liked her closer. “So, she finally rolls the window down. And before I can say boo, she tells me she knew who I was and considering that my background was nothing to be particularly proud of, I had been wise to attach myself to her son. Window rolls up—end of conversation.”

  “Tyler calls her crazy. Not that that’s all she calls her. But I think she’s evil.”

  “Evil how?”

  Rose thought for a moment. “Evil in the this is my world and if you don't live up to my standards I’ll kick you out, kind of way. She tried it with Tyler. She held on to Drew so tightly that he left her altogether. As I said, I should feel sorry for her, but…”

  “But she makes it impossible.”

  “I thought about not telling Tyler that she was the real reason I’d been summoned to Harper House. That woman has already handed her too much crap and I hated being part of shoveling on another layer.”

  “But you did tell her.” Jack understood wanting to protect someone you love. Keeping things from them wasn’t the way to do that. Besides, things had a way of coming out, and no matter how innocuous the omission, it was better to get it out in the open and deal with it right away.

  “And she took it like I would have expected. With a sharp tongue and a shrug.” Only Rose and Dani knew better. Inside that tough girl shell was a center of hurt and insecurity. Most things rolled off with little damage, but the Harpers were a wound that had never really healed.

  “Do you think Regina realizes the main reason Drew moved back here was because of Tyler?

  “He told you that?” Rose had always suspected; the timing was just too coincidental. But to have Jack state it as fact was something else altogether. Now she knew.

  “Drew is pretty closed-mouthed, and not just about Tyler. But now and then when he’s in a certain mood and has had a few drinks, he’ll get talky. He’s not over her, Rose, but something is keeping him from telling her.”

  “Fear of losing a vital organ?”

  Jack laughed. “There is that. I just wish he’d do something. I would never have called Drew a merry old soul, but lately he’s become even more reticent than usual.” And it began soon after Jack had started seeing Rose, a fact he was not going to share with her. Seeing Jack so happy, with Tyler’s friend, just magnified what Drew was missing out on.

  “I can’t tell you how Tyler feels about Drew, she would never forgive me. And I promise not to tell her anything we've discussed tonight. If something is going to happen it has to be up to them to do it.”

  “Agreed.” Jack slid down until they were face to face.

  “Such a pretty face.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  Loving the outrage in his voice, Rose cocked her head and studied him. “No, I stand by it. You, my friend, have a pretty face. I noticed it the night of the Lilac Ball. I was looking for someone with much longer hair, so at first I didn’t recognize you. But when I did the first thing I thought was how beautiful you were.”

  “Rose—” Jack wanted her to find him attractive and hot and really, really sexy. But pretty? Beautiful? Come on.

  “Hear me out. I said beautiful, not feminine.” Rose could tell Jack wasn’t mollified by the distinction. “It was the short hair that did it,” she continued. “And your amazing cheek bones.” She leaned over and kissed each one. “And the bright blue of your eyes. I called them Paul Newman eyes.”

  “Great, another movie reference.” Jack was about to rethink how much he liked the way her brain worked.

  “But mostly? I found you so sexy I couldn’t wait to get you alone and rip your clothes off.”

  “Now that I like the sound of. But I’m still growing my hair out.” His blue, blue eyes held hers as he leaned in and claimed her mouth in a scorching hot kiss. “I need to let Edgar out. So it’s either a quickie or wait until I get back.”

  Rose slipped her hand between his legs to gauge his readiness. Making a happy hum she squeezed his hardening length gently. “Why not both?”

  Jack tumbled her back onto the bed. Why not, indeed?

  JUNE WAS IN full bloom.

  Rose could smell the sweet combination of flowers, their fragrance intensified by the hot afternoon sun. She had spent so much time working on the Wishes soundtrack that she’d almost forgotten what it felt like just to stand outside and take in all the sights, sounds and smells of nature. But now that she had finished all but the final love song she decided to break out of her self-imposed prison for the rest of the day and reconnect with the world. Or at least her part of it.

  Rose had been using work as a way of avoiding Jack. And, to be honest, after almost a week, she had missed him. A lot. She missed him so much that she found herself calling him every night to ask how he and Edgar were doing. They would end up talking for an hour or more. She didn’t mean to call. Or talk so long. If she was so busy how could she spare the time? Why didn’t Jack call her on it? If he had asked her to hang up the phone and come be in his bed, Rose knew she would have caved. But he didn’t ask. Her bed, the great big bed she’d ordered because he asked her to, was sitting in her newly painted bedroom. Surrounded by her brand new bedroom furniture. The brand new ultra-soft sheets never having been slept on. Like an idiot, she was sleeping downstairs on the couch—alone.

  And why was she alone? Because she was a coward and because Jack wanted to take her home to meet his parents. Not that he’d put it precisely like that. But that’s what it amounted to.

  On Friday, Jack was traveling to Oregon to help celebrate his parent’s fortieth wedding anniversary. Seven children, eleven grandchildren, forty years waking up next to the same person every morning. And he wanted her to go with him.

  Rose had tried to get out of going by arguing that it was a family get together and she was not family. Jack had argued that everyone in the county was going to be at the huge event, neighbors, friends and probably some drop-ins who just liked a good party. It wasn't going to be just family. The argument, though never heated, had gone back and forth until Rose threw up her hands and had told him she’d think about it.

  She’d been thinking for a week. And even though he was leaving tomorrow, Jack hadn’t tried pressuring her during their nightly talks. In fact, he hadn’t even mentioned the trip again, which, as he probably knew, made her think about it constantly. Either he was sneaky as hell or he didn't care if she went with him. God, she had to stop or her brain was going to explode.

  Tyler and Dani told her to go. It was one weekend, not a lifetime commitment. And how could she pass up the chance to meet the woman who had named her son Jack Rabbit Run? Frank told her to go. She would be miserable the entire weekend if he went and she stayed home. Maybe she would be miserable in Oregon, but at least she’d be with Jack. Even Sam Laughton told her to go. If she needed inspiration to finish a love song where better to get it than at a fortieth wedding anniversary party?

  So everyone thought she should go. And Rose? Damn it, she wanted to go. She looked at her phone but decided Jack had put up with enough phone calls, he deserved to hear her decision in person. He also deserved an award for the most understanding, patient man in the world. That and an apology just might start to make up for her idiocy. She hoped he thought so.

  But first a quick shower and a change of clothes. She had only gotten two stairs up when there was a knock at the door. Groaning at the inconvenient timing, she changed direction. If this was another invitation from Regina Harper poor Potts was going to get an earful.


  “Look, I don’t have time to…” Rose stopped in mid-sentence. It was the one person she had plenty of time for. “Jack.”

  “Should I go?”

  “No!” She grabbed him and pulled him into the house before he could get away. “I was just coming to see you.”

  “Then I saved you a trip. Any particular reason you wanted to see me?”

  “I’m sorry.” Rose launched herself into Jack’s strong arms and just held on. “If you’ve come here to tell me you’ve had enough of my nonsense I don’t blame you a bit. All I ask is that I can visit Edgar now and then and that you call me whenever you’re, you know, in the mood.”

  Jack buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply letting her scent wash over him. He’d gotten used to his daily fix of Rose. He had a week of deprivation to make up for and he planned on starting right now.

  “Sweetheart, if you think you can get away with visiting Edgar now and then, you’re out of your mind. I’ve had to look at his sad puppy face all week and it has gotten a bit old. I think he secretly blames me for your absence, but he’s afraid I’ll cut off his kibble, so he’s kept quiet.” Jack paused to kiss her senseless. “And I have no idea what nonsense you’re talking about. As for calling you whenever I’m in the mood? For a while now you’ve been the only woman to interest my mood so that one’s a given.”

  Rose felt her mood lift and her libido kick in. Smiling knowingly, she pulled away from his embrace and began to slowly back up the stairs. “There’s a brand new bed in my room that needs christening. Do you think you’re up for it?”

  Jack started to follow her. “In about thirty seconds I’m going to show you just how up for it I am. So unless you want those clothes ripped off right where you're standing you’d better get your pretty ass up those stairs.”

  Twenty-five seconds later they were both naked, limbs entwined, on the bed. They felt the urgency of a week without this, but neither was in a hurry for it to end. Jack took his time; he needed to taste every inch of her soft skin. Her breasts were of particular interest. He stopped to savor how they felt as he rubbed his cheek over her plump nipples and then pulled one into his mouth. Her gasp of pleasure shot through him, sending his arousal into overdrive. A man could die happy if his last moments were spent loving Rose.

  “You know just where to touch me,” Rose sighed. She reveled in the sensations that bombarded her as his hand slid between her legs. When he replaced his hand with his mouth, she wondered why her heart didn’t burst from her chest. This is what she needed, what she craved. And Jack was the only one who could give it to her.

  “Tell me you’ve missed this—missed me.” Jack moved over. Rose reached for him, her body begging for him to fill her, to give her the release she craved more than air.

  “Yes, Jack,” she gasped at the feel of his teasing entry. “I’ve missed you, only you.”

  Hearing the words he craved, Jack entered Rose, driving them both closer and closer to the edge with every powerful thrust. And when they toppled over it was together, swallowing each other's cries of fulfillment with a long, soulful kiss.

  Totally spent, Jack rolled to the side of the bed, bringing Rose with him. He tucked her into his arms; one hand gently stroking up and down her arm. She relaxed against his body with a sigh of pure contentment. Leaning back, he stared up at the ceiling. This was more like it. Jack was thrilled to know that Rose had been about to come to him, that she had missed him, needed him. Jack could be patient when necessary, but he wanted Rose so much it was becoming more and more difficult to keep his feeling suppressed. Part of him knew he couldn’t force her to love him. The primitive part of him wanted to beat his chest and keep her in bed until she admitted she couldn’t live without him.

  “Has this room been painted?” Jack’s brain had been so busy running in the same circle it had been caught in all week that it took several minutes for him to register that he was looking at an entirely new color.

  “It has.” Rose was pleased he’d noticed. “Do you like it? It’s a pale blue but in this light it looks a bit darker.”

  “It’s great, really.” He looked around the room. The furniture looked different and so did the curtains. “When did you do all this?”

  “This last week. Though technically, I didn’t do any of it. The painters finished two days ago and then the furniture and drapes came yesterday. I just opened the door and left them to it.”

  Jack shook his head in amazement. “I just asked you to get a new bed.”

  “Which I did. But then nothing matched.” Rose looked around. Normally she would have done most of the work herself. She liked to paint—it was soothing. But she’d wanted it done right away. Hiring professionals saved her time, which at the moment was in short supply.

  “You should see the little room off of the front door. To be fair, I started that project a few weeks ago, but the half bath looks amazing.”

  “Rose," Jack said softly.

  “Now that the bedroom and bath are done I was thinking about painting the whole house—inside and out. The guys who did in here gave me a great quote for the whole job.”

  “Rose." His voice was a bit firmer this time

  “I know, I’m rambling.” Her thoughts were pinging off each other so quickly that her mouth couldn’t catch up. She breathed in and steadied herself until what she wanted to say was in the right order.

  “Thank you, Jack.”

  Jack laughed. “If you’re talking about the mind-blowing sex, you’re welcome.”

  “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

  “Rose.” Jack took her face between his hands, his eyes an intense blue. “I will never give up on you—on us.”

  “You should.” When he began to protest Rose gently covered his mouth with her fingertips. “I should make you. I know if you honestly believed I wanted to end it you would leave me alone.”

  “If I believed it.”

  “That’s the problem, isn’t it?” She trailed her fingers over his lips, across his cheekbones and then along his jaw. Touching him was addictive. She sighed. Right now she didn’t have the strength to give it up—to give him up.

  “I know what you want, Jack. You haven’t said it, and I’m grateful. I wish I could promise you that one day soon I’ll be able to give you everything you need, everything you deserve. But I don’t know if I’m capable of that. But, God, I want to be. Maybe—.”

  This time it was Jack that silenced her. “That seems like a good place to stop. Okay?”

  Rose nodded. She kissed his fingers then pulled one into her mouth. So much better than any lollypop.

  “Ready for another go, are we?” Jack groaned. He could feel the suction of her mouth down to his toes.

  Rose nodded again. Her eyes changing to a deep sherry color, warm and inviting.

  “One more thing before I lose all ability to think. Oregon. Yes?”

  “Oregon, definitely.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  ROSE HAD PEPPERED Jack with seemingly endless questions about what kind of clothes she should pack. She knew he didn’t understand, but she did appreciate his patience. But once she started in on shoe choices? Jack finally reached his limit.

  “Rose, I have no idea what my mother and sisters will be wearing. But if it’s that important I’ll a call mom right now and you can ask her yourself.”

  Horrified at the thought, Rose snatched Jack’s phone out of his hand.

  “I’ll figure it out for myself.” They were leaving tomorrow and coming back on Monday. Not even three full days. But Rose wanted to be prepared for any contingency. “There’s plenty of room in your SUV. I’ll bring a few extra things, just to be safe.”

  They had decided to go out for dinner. Rose, as usual had almost nothing in her refrigerator and Jack was in the mood for something more substantial than cold cereal. On The Waterfront had a great view of the river and eclectic cuisine. He looked at Rose over the top of his menu.

  “We aren’t driving b
ut there will still be plenty of room. Unless you plan on taking steamer trunks. The plane has lots of cargo space, but that would be pushing it.”

  “We’re flying?” Rose didn’t mind, but she was surprised.

  “It usually takes less than an hour, so I like to fly when I visit my family.” Jack smiled at the waitress as she walked up to take their order. Rose could almost hear the woman’s wistful sigh. She understood completely. She’d felt the power of that smile the first time they’d met and it still got to her—every time. The crazy part was, he wasn’t even trying. He didn't do it consciously and he left a trail of breathless women in his wake. These days he reserved the deliberately sexy smile just for her. The poor waitress wouldn’t have been able to function for the rest of her shift if she'd witnessed that one.

  “Have you decided what you want, sweetheart?” The warmth in his voice sent a little shiver down her spine.

  Oh, she knew what she wanted, Rose thought. But she was going to have to wait until they were alone to do anything about it

  ROSE SLID OUT of Jack’s SUV. Edgar bounced impatiently in the back seat, waiting for someone to let him out. It only diminished his enthusiasm slightly when Jack fastened a lead on his collar. Jack had decided to bring the dog with them so that he could visit the brother who still lived with Jack’s parents. But Rose knew the real reason. It might only be until Monday, but Jack would miss him. The private plane they were taking was plenty big enough for all of them, so there was no reason not to bring him along. Taking control of the dog, Rose let him explore the exciting new territory while Jack unloaded their luggage.

  “I can’t believe after all that outfit anxiety you only brought two suitcases.”

  “Dani talked me down and then helped me decide what to bring. Honestly, Jack, we’re only going to gone a few days.”

  Rose gave him an innocent look which Jack returned until they both burst out laughing. Shaking his head he took the bags to the plane and loaded them in the cargo bay.

  “Is the pilot already on board?” Rose turned away so Edgar could have some privacy.