Bodyguard of Love

by Lane, Terri

  My heart hammered so noisily in my chest I feared it might burst out at any given second, my mouth ran bone dry with terror despite the fact that I’d just had a drink, at one point I thought I could hear someone calling out my name, but I couldn’t move my head. I needed to keep on going.

  Then I stopped still. I wasn’t sure why, but instead of getting near enough to Markus to actually talk I simply loitered nearby him instead, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. This was a mistake, I should’ve stayed where I was. Now I looked more of an idiot than ever before.

  I needed to run… or maybe to get another drink…

  “And who is this beauty?” A voice boomed out, as an arm grabbed me around the shoulder. “Where have you been hiding this one, Markus?”

  I blinked for a second too long, before opening my eyes to find myself staring at the man I’d adored for far too long. He was smiling jovially at me, an expression which I attempted to return, but my mouth couldn’t quite make that happen.

  “Oh, this is my lovely PA, Cassie. Come and have a drink with us, Cassie.”

  Suddenly I found myself unexpectedly sandwiched between the two very beefy, intimidating men. I wasn’t sure if this was what I wanted really, it felt a little weird.

  “So, Cassie, since my dear friend, Markus, isn’t about to introduce us, I will tell you my name. I’m Ryan.” He extended his hand to me which I shook eagerly. Talking to Ryan was actually easier than dealing with Markus because there wasn’t all that one ended sexual tension to deal with.

  “Hi, Ryan,” I smiled happily. “It’s nice to meet you. How long have you known Markus?”

  “Oh, we went to school together…”

  As they started to share old stories with me, I leant back and relaxed a little bit. If they would just keep talking, this would all be just fine…

  ***

  “Oh my goodness, are you serious?” I snorted as I laughed, the expensive champagne allowing me to be more open than perhaps I usually would be. “That’s hilarious.”

  “Well, that’s Markus for you. You only see one side to him at work.”

  There was something about Ryan, it was becoming increasingly obvious with each passing second that he was flirting with me. His hand kept brushing my arm, his eyes twinkled as he stared at me, and his knee was knocking against mine.

  The weird thing was I actually liked it. It was incredibly strange with Markus sitting the other side of me, talking to me too, but the more I drank the easier it became to deal with.

  “I erm…” My breaths came in a little ragged and sharp as the overwhelming nature of the situation overcame me for a second. “I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

  I crashed into the bathroom and splashed a little cold water on my face. I needed to be careful if I didn’t want to end up in a crazy mess right now, I had to act smart.

  ‘Amber, I’m freaking out! X’ I sent a text to my friend in panic.

  ‘Stop overthinking, just have fun. Remember there’s a hundred dollars at stake. Love you xxx’

  Okay, stop freaking out, I needed to stop panicking. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, almost stepping back for a second when I saw myself. I forgot how hot I was looking tonight. I did look good, and this look would be wasted if I did nothing about it.

  Come on, just do this, I told myself quite seriously. Just get out there, and have fun. Amber has commanded it.

  As I slid back through the bathroom door and into the party area, a hand grabbed my shoulder which made me jump.

  “Oh… hey…”

  Ryan was staring back at me with a smile. His emerald eyes sparkling, his pale skin dotted with sweet freckles, his lips pursed in my direction.

  God he was hot… so hot! He was almost irresistible.

  “Come here.” He tugged my arm and pulled me out into a hallway where no one else was standing. I glanced from side to side, a weird, terrified thrill racing up and down my spine as I waited for him to speak out once more.

  “What’s going on?” I eventually felt compelled to ask.

  “You’re so cute.” He touched my cheek, his fingers moved over my lips, and he sent bolts of electricity racing all over me. It was almost too much. All I wanted to do was lean in. There hadn’t been this chemistry in my life for a very long time. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had made me feel this way. “Can I kiss you?”

  No, of course not! I don’t even know you, plus I work for your friend. I’ve adored your friend from afar for years….

  But I didn’t say any of that, I simply nodded instead. Then Ryan’s lips crashed against mine and fireworks exploded inside my stomach. He felt so good, his hands made their way into my hair, I wanted to give myself over to him wholly. He had my heart hammering, lust trickling down into my underwear, passion flooding me.

  He felt so good against me that I was happy to forgo absolutely everything in that moment. Nothing else mattered apart from me and Ryan.

  ***

  Shit, shit, shit.

  Humiliation thumped through my body, sickness swirled in my stomach, I felt like every single giggle and whisper that floated through the office was about me and my sordid behavior at the Christmas party only just over a week before.

  Of course in reality not a single person knew that I’d kissed Ryan. It happened quickly and discretely, we had a mental five minutes, then we went back to the party and didn’t even share another look, but I couldn’t help freaking out all the same.

  The party had not gone to plan, as I’d been constantly reminded by my wonderful best friend over the Christmas period. I hadn’t hooked up with Markus. I didn’t end up sleeping with anyone. I simply kissed a man that could potentially rock the boat of my entire life. Luckily because she felt so sorry for me she didn’t make me fork out the money, but still I had to live with the fact that I was a massive loser and I’d failed miserably.

  How the hell would Markus feel knowing that I kissed his friend? In a professional sense it was the wrong thing to do, and in a personal sense… well, how could he like me now? He would never want to be with me knowing that I’d done that. Even if there was no chance in the world of that ever happening, I didn’t like knowing that I’d wrecked my chances.

  I slid behind my desk and kept my head focused downwards, hoping that no one would even pay me a scrap of attention, but of course I wasn’t about to be so lucky.

  Why was I the unluckiest person in the world?

  “Cassie?” Markus’s tone was sharp as he called out to me, it sent an iciness up and down my spine. “Can you come into my office please? I need to speak to you about something.”

  “Erm, sure.”

  Oh God, this was it, this was the moment where I got a serious reprimand. I would probably end up losing my job anyway and I hadn’t even gotten to be with him. This wouldn’t have felt so drastic if I’d gotten what I wanted. I would know that I deserved it, but at least I’d have some damn good memories.

  I shoved the door open and tentatively took a step inside, my hands clasped tightly in front of me. I usually felt so comfortable in this room, it was like my second home in Markus’s office, but now I didn’t know where to position myself. My hands felt weird, my legs were like jelly, my pulse rate racing.

  “Take a seat.”

  “Okay, sure.” I did exactly as he asked, feeling a little like a school girl in the head teacher’s office. “Is… is everything okay?” I couldn’t keep the nervous tremor from my voice, however hard I tried.

  “Yes, I just wanted to talk to you about the Wilson account.”

  The Wilson account? “Oh, right…” Work, huh? “Erm, sure?”

  I was expecting him to scream at me, to tell me that I was an idiot for kissing his friend, but there was nothing. He was actually picking up bits of paper and talking about work.

  “Yeah, I think we need to go with a new strategy…”

  ***

  I chewed my lunch thoughtfully, my mind all over the place. This had b
een the weirdest day of my whole life, and I really wasn’t sure where my future lay.

  Markus genuinely didn’t seem to know what had happened with me and Ryan, which was a good thing… wasn’t it? Why did I feel like I was all over the place?

  “You okay?” Sasha, one of the eighteen year old interns asked me. There was a distance between me and the other employees because of my position in the company. It was unfortunate but I didn’t mind too much, I didn’t need more friends. Still, it was nice that Sasha always made an effort. “You look a bit sad. Bad Christmas?”

  “Nah, it was okay.” I shrugged and smiled sadly. “How about you?”

  She pulled out her hand and flashed me an incredible diamond ring, clearly getting to the main point of why she’d dragged me into a conversation. “My boyfriend, Luke, proposed on Christmas day. It was like a total shock.”

  Of course it was, you’re still a teenager!

  “Oh well, that’s lovely,” I told her instead. “Congratulations. You must be so happy.”

  “Oh we are, we’re planning on a June wedding.”

  Urgh, I’d never even been close to planning a June wedding, and I was heading far too quickly towards thirty years old. Okay, so I was twenty-seven, but I had a decade on this girl. Maybe she was a naïve teenager, but still it would be nice to have someone love me enough to want to spend the rest of their life with me.

  “How about you? How’s your love life?”

  Don’t panic, don’t freak out.

  “It’s okay, just dating, you know…” The sympathetic look Sasha shot me did not go amiss. “Anyway I have to get back to work.”

  I stood up to leave the room feeling about two feet tall. This sucked, and it only highlighted what Amber kept telling me. I needed some real excitement in my life, and not a cheeky make out session with someone I didn’t know, I meant something real.

  “Oh, sorry, Markus.” In my dazed and confused state I actually walked right into him. In the past that would’ve sent me into a horny tailspin, I would’ve turned this moment into something huge in my mind, but now I was too morose to really react. “I didn’t see you there.”

  “That’s okay.” He smiled brightly and touched my shoulder. “I don’t mind you bumping into me.”

  There was something in his tone, something I hadn’t ever heard before. Was that… flirting? Seriously? I opened and closed my mouth a few times, feeling utterly speechless.

  “Anyway, I better go and get these emails sent, if we don’t want to end up working a lot of late nights together.”

  Okay, it was definitely there now. How typical was this? I’d needed this for so long, it was a dream come true, but because of my insane Christmas party behavior I didn’t know what to say. I felt helpless, hopeless, like I was drowning in my own despair.

  “Anyway, see you in a bit.”

  Markus walked off, leaving me dazed and totally befuddled. What was I supposed to think now? What was I supposed to do with that very roundabout flirting?

  I shook my head and forced myself back to my desk. I needed to grab my cell phone to text Amber. Maybe she had a bit of a one track mind when it came to my lack of sex life, but she was the only one who could give me any kind of decent advice.

  ‘What do I do? I think Markus is flirting with me? X’

  ‘Yay! Kiss him, seduce him, finally make him yours! X’

  Her reply that came back in an instant made me smile, but it was impractical. I couldn’t just kiss my boss, even if I did really want that. God, I wanted it so damn badly.

  ‘But what about the party? X’

  ‘What about it? What does it matter? It was one kiss! You didn’t do anything crazy, did you? X’

  ‘Yeah, with his friend. Urgh, I’m an idiot. Why can’t I just behave like a normal person? X’

  ‘You’re a worrier, stop worrying. Please, for the love of God. Please I have done way worse than you! x’

  Stop worrying… if only! I sighed deeply and dropped my cell phone back into my desk drawer. This was a mess of my own doing, and now I needed to try and dig my way out of it somehow.

  I stared towards where Markus had just left me behind, wondering what was going through his mind. Why now? What was going on with him? Why did I feel like I was the absolute last person to know?

  ***

  I held my head higher as I walked through the office doors a week later because I was certain that no one now knew about me and Ryan. I was silly to worry, I really was a panicker, and it was good to shake some of that off. Positivity worked a lot better for me.

  “The Wilson account is running much smoother now,” Markus grinned happily at me the second he saw me coming in. “I’m glad we made all those changes.”

  We… he’d been talking that way a lot more recently, including me in his sentences when he discussed jobs. He’d always been a good person, a wonderful boss, but everything was always his idea, even during the times I was involved.

  It was nice, it made me feel really awesome, warm and fuzzy inside, like I was incredibly worthwhile.

  “Yeah, I think they’ll stay with us now.” I nodded happily. “So that’s great news.”

  His hand brushed my arm, shocking me into stepping away. Even now, even after all that mess with Ryan, he could still make me feel incredible. He warmed my body up in a way that no one else ever could, that no one else ever had.

  “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  My face flamed brightly and I felt myself turn coy. “Oh I don’t know, you do an amazing job of this stuff.”

  “I probably could’ve taken a step back years ago, allowed someone else to manage the business for me, but I just love it. This sort of problem solving is my passion.”

  “It shows.”

  We shared a smile, and in that moment my heart began to thunder noisily in my chest. I wanted to be cool and calm around this incredible man, but it was never going to happen. He turned me into a genuine shuddering mess.

  “So…” He leaned back in his chair and smiled widely at me. “Would it be totally insane if I asked you out on a date? I know that we work together and it could end badly, but… I don’t know, I really would love to take you to dinner.”

  I paused, for just a beat too long, my mind whirred frantically the entire time. This was my dream come true, and I knew that my confidant would tell me to just go for it, but still I felt like there was this massive elephant in the room, a black cloud over my head that I couldn’t quite shake off.

  “Erm, really? I… I don’t…”

  “Oh don’t worry about it, I don’t want to make things awkward. I know it’s crazy, we’ve worked together for years and I haven’t said anything before this, but…” I could see Markus shutting down, which made me feel absolutely terrible.

  “No, no, it isn’t that. I just… I would love to go to dinner with you.”

  I could not turn down this opportunity, it was all I ever wanted. I could easily deal with the other stuff later on.

  “Great, I’ll pick you up at eight tonight. I’m sorry it took so long, I guess it just feels like the time is right.”

  It took all that I had not to scream, I didn’t want to freak and make an idiot of myself, but this… it was overwhelming, it was exciting and terrifying, and wonderful.

  Amber was going to love this!

  ***

  “Did you get the picture?” I gasped into the phone, terror tearing through me. “What do you think about my outfit?”

  “It looks wonderful!” Amber cried back just as happily. “You look amazing, I can’t wait for this for you. You need this.”

  “You’re happier than I am,” I laughed loudly, trying to lose myself in the mirth. “Maybe you should focus on your own love life.”

  “Actually my love life is amazing, you know that. Tex is wonderful in bed. He makes me feel like a brand new woman. I’m wondering ‘Seb who?’”

  I wasn’t totally sure if Amber was genuine or if this was all a cover up for the hurt s
he was still feeling, but I let it go. I knew Amber well enough to know that she’d open up to me when she was ready. I had to just be patient with her.

  “So are you finally going to write off your debt to me tonight?”

  My heart flip flopped in my chest as I considered finally getting underneath that amazing man. I hadn’t even thought about it since he asked me out on a date but now it was the only thing on my mind.

  Maybe that was where this night was going to head.

  “Oh I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”

  “Why? It isn’t like you’re in love with him? It’s just a physical thing, right?”

  Oh, of course, she didn’t know the true depth of my feelings. I almost forgot about that. I needed to keep my walls up in case this all fell apart. I couldn’t stand the humiliation.

  “Yeah, right.”

  “If you wanted him to fall in love with you, I would say different, but that’s not the case here.”

  “Yeah, yeah, of course.” I needed to hang up the phone, I couldn’t keep faking my feelings so close to the date, it was messing with my mind. “Okay, I better go, I need to finish getting ready and he’ll be here in a moment.”

  “Love you, bye!”

  “Love you too.”

  I hung up the phone and stared at my reflection, tugging on the ends of my skirt as I did. The black mini, teamed with a slightly oversized orange top looked kind of good. Well I hoped it did, at least Amber had suggested it did and I was inclined to believe her. I didn’t want to go too dressy, in case the date wasn’t that sort of night out, but I also wanted to look classy.

  Had I pulled it off? I wasn’t sure.

  I sighed deeply and started to shove the rest of my clothes back into my wardrobe while I waited for eight o clock to come around. This was nerve wracking, I wasn’t sure what was about to happen, and that terrified me. I hadn’t ever really gone out on a date before, not like this, and I didn’t know if I was ready or not.

  Beep, beep.

  Oh my God, he was really here! Early too. I pressed my face up against the glass, to see an actual real life limousine outside waiting for me. This was serious now, this was a really high-class date and I had a mini skirt on.