Bodyguard of Love

by Lane, Terri

  “We need to talk,” she said softly, searching his face for clues to see what he was feeling.

  “Yes, of course.” Jack answered. “I was just going to ask you if you had time to talk. I have some big news, it’s the main reason I’ve been pulling some long hours these past few weeks.”

  Sam felt relieved. At least he wasn’t pulling the long hours because of her. That would have been too much to bear. “I’ll go get showered. We can talk over breakfast,” she said lightly.

  Jack nodded. “I’ll go throw something together.”

  Twenty minutes later, they were seated at the table, sipping coffee. Sam looked at Jack expectantly. “You go first.” She needed time to gather her thoughts.

  “Well, I’m going on another mission,” Jack said bluntly.

  “What? Where?” Sam was startled.

  “Afghanistan.”

  Sam didn’t say anything. Her face must have said enough, though.

  “It’s for six months,” Jack clarified.

  How was he so calm about this? A lump clogged Sam’s throat and she couldn’t form the words she wanted to say. Suddenly she was thirteen years old again, and scared about being alone in a situation that she had no say in.

  “I see,” she said finally. Sam lowered her gaze and sipped her coffee quietly focusing on keeping her tears hidden.

  “I’m sorry, Sam,” Jack said leaning back. He stared out of the window. “I shouldn’t have pressured you to accept me when you weren’t ready. I hope my leaving will help give you clarity. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  He didn’t want to hurt her, yet every word out of his mouth was stabbing her. She wanted to point out the irony to him but couldn’t. Maybe she read too much into their night together. It was possible that she wanted to believe there was more between them than there actually was because she needed someone to cushion the blow of losing Papa.

  “You didn’t hurt me,” she said with false cheer. “You do what you need to do. I don’t want to stand in the way.”

  A look of hurt crossed over Jack’s face but he quickly masked it and she wondered if she was mistaken. “Same to you, Sam,” he said with a quick smile. “I’ve got to get back to the office and prepare to leave by Monday so you’ll have to excuse me.” He scooted his chair back and rose to leave. “Eat some eggs, you look like you’ve lost some weight. By the way, thanks for leaving the plate of food last night, it was delicious.” He flashed her another quick smile and was out the door before she could react.

  Tears streamed down her face. She set her cup down and wrapped her arms around her belly. Rocking back and forth, she allowed herself to release the sadness that she carried with her through childhood. It was too much. She certainly wasn’t going to tell him about the pregnancy now. There was nothing he could do until his mission was over. She would do what she did when she was younger, throw herself into her work and forget everything else.

  ***

  Jack spent several hours in meetings the rest of the day. Normally, he would be given time off before a mission to decompress. But since the nature of this mission was so intense, he knew it was in his best interest to keep his mind on the task at hand. He and the rest of the team were briefed by several officers. They went over every type of strategy and overview of several possible scenarios.

  Towards the last hour, Jack had to stifle a yawn. Since he was in and out of the field, much of what was being covered was redundant. He could do this in his sleep. He knew why he was asked to go on this mission. An officer that was close to Walter had recommended him for it for two reasons. One, he was a natural choice given his success rate, and two, the other officer had gotten wind of the classified files that had been sealed. He gave Jack some time to disappear while the files were being fought over in court. It saved him the humiliation of having to defend keeping them sealed in vague and possibly not-so-vague terms

  But Jack had full faith in Sam. She was dedicated to her job. He heard as much from Walter and he’d seen for himself how hard she was working. He appreciated it, and knew that she got her work ethic from her father. He had no doubt she would clear his name by the time he came back. He hoped by then she would have come around to accepting him.

  He’d made a promise to Walter to look after her, and he intended to uphold that promise, even if it meant that he was going to be rejected by her. If she chose to walk away, there was nothing he could do about that. He hoped she would change her mind, though.

  The night that they’d spent together left him wanting her not just in bed again, but in other ways as well. He wanted to know her favorite ice cream, he wanted to know about her fondest memories. He wanted her to listen as he shared things about himself. But he knew that it wasn’t possible to do any of that until he got back. If he got back, he thought, startling himself at the direction his mind had gone. He’d never worried about not returning from a mission. In fact, he never worried about anything. He always lived for the moment.

  Sam’s face came to mind. Would she be upset if he didn’t return? He wanted to think that she would be affected somehow, but he wasn’t sure. The way she had pulled away from him even after they had slept together had sent him into a state of deep confusion about what direction their relationship was going in. If it was going anywhere at all.

  As the final meeting wrapped up, Jack headed to his desk to clear out some of the files. He realized as he was doing it that he had virtually no personal artifacts or photos on his desk like others did. It made moving easy, but he wished he had more anchoring him to this place, suddenly. He wished he had someone crying about him having to leave. Sam. He wished she would miss him, though he didn’t want her to be upset. They were conflicting ideas, he knew. But he didn’t know how else to make sense of what he was feeling.

  He drove home distracted by his thoughts. He didn’t have much to pack, as most everything he needed was standard issue. As far as entertainment, he had enough books on his e-reader to keep him busy on the off chance he had free time.

  Jack’s mind flitted back to the meeting he’d had a couple weeks ago. Until that point, he had been only helping plan and strategize the mission. He had no intention in partaking in it even though they asked him to take the lead on it since he had more experience than any guy on the team. But when the opportunity later presented itself, he jumped on it. He was trying to save himself the agony of hearing Sam reject him to his face. If he removed himself and they slowly drifted away from each other, maybe it would be tolerable.

  Since the first time he saw Sam, he felt connected to her. He felt like they were meant to be together, and he was sure she felt the same. That is, until she saw him transform. After that, she seemed more repulsed by him than anything. It was painful to feel the constant rejection and he grabbed at the first opportunity that allowed him to leave.

  In the SEALs he was hailed as a hero, but he felt like a coward. He couldn’t face the rejection so he opted to run. It was a cowardly move, nothing more. He held out hope even this morning that Sam would show some emotion about him leaving, but left disappointed. She’d made her feelings abundantly clear. She had none when it came to him.

  Tonight or tomorrow, he would make sure to tell her how much he appreciated her working on the case for him. She had at least that much kindness in her heart, and he was grateful to her for it. For now, he was going to go home and take a well-deserved rest before he had to finish packing.

  As it happened, Sam was gone for much of the evening and he was disappointed, but relieved that they didn’t have to make polite conversation when he really just wanted to demand that she explain why she couldn’t love him. Love? Where had that come from. His hand stilled while he was folding one of his shirts.

  Did he love her? Yes, he answered himself immediately. He did, absolutely. He loved everything about her, and every new thing that he picked up about her only made her all the more endearing. But what was done was done, he thought, shoving the clothes in the duffle bag to the side to make room for h
is toiletries.

  He had no more time to think about this or he was going to be distracted. Distractions during missions were never good. He had both an attachment and a distraction, but he couldn’t let either bother him. He’d seen how Walter had gotten in trouble with his sole liability, Sam. Now, Jack saw himself in the same situation. It was as if the old man had arranged for this to happen himself. Why, though, he had no idea.

  ***

  Jack loaded his luggage into the back of the ride that was taking him to the airport and gave the house one last glance. He’d said goodbye to Sam who lingered in the kitchen as he got ready to leave. She’d made breakfast and hovered, as if unsure of what role she was supposed to play.

  Jack didn’t need her to do anything, but he was glad to see her at least. He sat her down the night before to thank her for working on the case. Jack gave her all the information she might need to contact him, including fellow team members in case something happened with his phone.

  “We’re in remote areas sometimes, so try at different times during the day if you need to reach me,” he’d warned her. “And don’t be alarmed if the phone is dead. I might not have a way to charge it or I might have turned it off if I’m not at the base.”

  Sam had nodded, but said nothing. She didn’t speak much about the mission and she asked virtually no questions. It took a moment for Jack to realize that it was probably because her father had been on so many, she was used to the routine. Still, he wanted her to show some concern.

  Pacing before him, she’d offered a few items from the pantry that he might want to take for snacks. He added them and then turned to find her coming from the bedroom to offer him a travel pillow and other comfort items. He took a few of them gladly and declined the rest.

  She was leaning in the doorway now, watching him leave. He opened the door to get into the cab when the driver turned to face him.

  “You’re not going to leave her without a kiss goodbye, are you?” His eyes sparkled at Jack.

  “Oh, right.” Jack turned look at her. She looked wan and tired. A result of the long hours she was putting in on his behalf. He climbed the steps back up to her.

  “Did you forget something? I can go get it,” Sam said straightening.

  “Yeah, I did. But you don’t have to go anywhere.” He meant to just lean in for a small kiss, but once his lips touched hers, an overwhelming need came over him and he kissed her deeper and deeper until he felt like he was feasting on her mouth. She responded immediately, as if she was waiting for it. Her arms came around him easily and soon he had her body trapped between the doorway and his own rapidly heating body.

  A honk sounded behind him and Sam pulled away first, startled.

  “I have to go,” he said. “I’ll call you when I get there. Remember what I said about trying to reach me.” He saw her eyes darken with fear.

  Sam wrapped her arms around her middle. “I remember.” She bit her lip and he could tell she wanted to say more. She was probably going to warn him not to shapeshift out there, jeopardizing not only the mission but also the case here.

  “I know,” he said. “I’m not going to do it. I know how to control it. Thanks to Walter, actually,” he said with a wry smile.

  Sam gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I bet,” she said softly. “He was good at hiding things.”

  Jack didn’t know what she meant by that and wanted to press her but another honk sounded behind him. He did have to go if he wanted to check on some of the larger items before the flight. He also had to go help some of the newer team members navigate their first mission.

  With a final wave, Jack got into the car and drove off. He looked back to see Sam still standing in the doorway. He watched until she became a spec and even after when she was no longer visible, replaced by miles of changing landscape.

  As they neared the airport, Jack touched his lips, her taste still on his mouth. She tasted the same, but something was different. It wasn’t anything they ate, but something deeper. From her essence. He wondered what it could be.

  She had responded to his kiss like she was waiting for it. But damn it all, if she wasn’t the most confusing female he’d ever been with. He had Walter to thank for the mess he was in now, he thought drily. The man was right, they were good together. In bed. It seemed to be that out of bed was where their problems began. The solution was obvious, they should never leave the bed, he thought chuckling to himself.

  “You two been married long?” the cab driver spoke up, breaking Jack out of his reverie.

  “A few months now,” Jack said.

  The driver entertained him the rest of the way with his own stories about marriage and misunderstandings. “I’m only telling you this because I know that look she had on her face. I’ve seen it a thousand times on my wife’s face.”

  “Oh? And what look is that?” Jack asked.

  “She loves you. No matter what you fought about. Forget about it. Being right isn’t more important than being together.”

  “You’re right,” Jack murmured. He didn’t know how the older man’s advice was supposed to help him. They hadn’t fought, really. He wasn’t holding an opposing view from her. But he clung to the first words the driver had said. She loves you.

  If that were true, Jack would be incredibly happy but also in deep trouble. He had no idea how he would make it through the next six months knowing that Sam loved him. The work she was doing for him was already too much for him, a man used to doing everything himself.

  ***

  “You think that we can get by with defending all the files without knowing all the information in them?” Jonathan flipped idly through one new case file that was handed to him.

  “The date for court is scheduled already,” Sam sighed. She shoved her hair out of her face and examined another file that was given to them two days prior. “It’s like they don’t want us to be prepared at all. I’m worried they may ask for all these cases that we have no information about.”

  Jonathan nodded thoughtfully. “I’d like to think that they will be more understanding than that. The military hasn’t been forthcoming, hardly our fault. And we’ve tried all the channels. It’s not as if illegally obtained material will stand up in court anyway, so no use beating ourselves up.”

  He pushed himself off Sam’s desk and made a circle in her office, flipping impatiently now. “I don’t know about the files you’ve seen but some of these aren’t even worth defending. Look at this one, the guy was caught in another guy’s tent. Doesn’t say what they were doing, just that he was there.” He flipped it closed, a look of disgust on his face.

  Sam hoped he didn’t pry into what Jack’s file read. Thus far, he’d been respectful and didn’t ask about it. He left it up to her to sort out and deal with since he was now her husband. Having a personal interest in a case made it meaningful, but the stress levels increased tenfold.

  The only problem in this whole scenario is that eventually, he could find out about this if the judge asked her about it in court. And quite likely, he would. She had to tell Jonathan, but she didn’t know how to explain something she herself was just beginning to understand.

  As far as she knew, he wouldn’t harm anyone unless he was protecting someone else. She didn’t feel endangered by him, at least not since the first time when she’d run from him. But she was intimidated by it. To explain to someone else...well, it wasn’t easy. She saw now why her father hadn’t done the best job explaining to her.

  “Jonathan, I wanted to talk to you about Jack’s file,” she said hesitantly. Then she rose and shut the door to keep out anyone else. “It’s big.”

  Jonathan stared at her, “Big, how? Big like he killed a guy or big like he’s a double agent?”

  “Neither,” she said. “It’s, uh, unique.”

  “Oh, now you got me hooked,” Jonathan said. He settled into a seat across from her desk and craned his neck to look back at her. “I’m waiting for more, unless you’d rather I just rea
d the file.”

  Sam walked over to her tote bag where she’d stashed his file since she’d gotten it and withdrew it. “This doesn’t leave this room,” she warned.

  “Of course. But that’s contingent on the idea that the judge won’t request more information about what’s being suppressed here.” He thumbed through with a blank look and then his eyebrows rose. “Is this a joke?”

  “It’s not,” Sam said flatly. “It’s real. I’ve seen it. And even my father told me about it.”

  He gave a low whistle. “I don’t even know if I know what that means, to be honest.”

  “It means he’s human, mostly. He just has this other side to him. Anyway, wrong place, wrong time, right intentions, and now a decade later he has to make sure the world doesn’t find out about it.”

  Jonathan frowned as he read the papers intently. “Is there more to this?”

  “No, not that I know of. I just have this file.”

  “So every account you’ve heard matches this file?” Jonathan prodded her.

  “Yes,” she came to peer over his shoulder. “What do you see missing?”

  “Well, for starters, it doesn’t say why they had to have it suppressed. Was he being threatened?”

  Sam straightened to rub her belly with one hand and her lower back with the other. She wasn’t quite showing yet, but she was expanding and the pain was getting to her whenever she wore her heels. “Hmm, well, no. The story I got was that they, meaning Jack and my father, took preventative measures in case it became anything big.”

  Jonathan looked up at her, “Your father must have known someone would try to get ahold of this information at some point. This doesn’t look like standard protocol for something.”

  “He’s a shapeshifter!” Sam said in exasperation. “Isn’t that reason enough?”

  “Sure, but he did save an officer’s life, and nobody has seen him use his skills before or after. If you ask me, your father knew they would try to exploit him. Force him into missions, using him as a weapon of sorts. Your father was trying to protect him.”