Shameless (An Enemies To Lovers Novel Book 5)

by Michelle Horst

  “I was a dick, Evie.”

  She pulls her face away from my hand. “Can we talk tomorrow? I want to be alone right now.”

  Her words are a punch to my gut. Evie’s biggest fear is being alone, and she’d rather face that than have me here.

  She drops the frozen bag on the floor, and when she gets up and walks over to her closet, it sinks in that she’s only wearing boyshorts and a flimsy tank top. The bastard in me would take advantage of this moment, and stare my full. Her ass and tits have given me many wet dreams over the past few months.

  But not tonight. My eyes are drawn to Evie’s face, washed clean of makeup. The evidence of her tears makes me feel guilt-ridden as fuck.

  I’ve kept my distance from Evie because she’s so innocent and I didn’t want to corrupt her with my depravity. How she managed to remain pure with the past she’s had to deal with, goes beyond my understanding.

  Evie is as decent as they come, and I called her a whore.

  I wait while she drags on a pair of sweats and t-shirt. When she’s done, she lets out a tired sigh as she finally lifts her eyes to mine.

  “Say what you have to say so you can go, Rhett.”

  I would’ve been able to handle her anger, but the hollowness in her voice guts me even further.

  She just wants me gone.

  I stand up and take a deep breath, needing to make her understand that I didn’t mean it.

  “You looked beautiful tonight. I lost my shit because of it. I didn’t want any of the guys seeing you like that, because I knew they would see what I’ve known all along. You’re drop-dead gorgeous inside and out. I was scared one of them would do what I was too chicken shit to do.”

  Well, I wasn’t planning on laying my heart out in front of her, but now that I’ve said it, there’s no taking it back.

  She just stares at me, and it’s making my stomach tighten with nerves.

  Please don’t tell me to fuck off.

  I send up the silent prayer as I wait for her to say something.

  When she looks down at her feet and tucks some of the curls behind her ear, my body tenses as I wait for her to tell me she’ll never forgive me.

  “The day I went to live with Eric and Charlotte, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. I finally had a family who wanted me. I had a home where I could be a part of something bigger than myself.”

  It’s not what I expected to hear, and it takes my mind a moment to play catch-up.

  “It only took me a few days to realize nothing was as it seemed. The kids didn’t laugh, and everyone would tense up whenever Eric or Charlotte walked into a room. At first, I was on kitchen duty, but a few months later one of the older girls left, and I took over doing the laundry.”

  I’m not sure where Evie is going with this story, but I listen greedily because it’s about her past. It’s something new I’m getting to learn about her.

  “Some of the loads were the usual stuff, clothes I saw everyone wear daily. But there were loads filled with lingerie and some –”

  She takes a deep breath and wraps her arms around her. She shrugs as she glances up at me, an unsettled look in her eyes.

  My heart starts to beat faster, and my gut tightens. This isn’t just a memory Evie’s sharing with me. Something happened, and I made it worse.

  She clears her throat and drops her eyes to my chest. “There was blood on the clothes. Charlotte brought the soiled loads and took the clean ones, and I knew better than to ask her where the blood came from. I suppose I was trying to protect myself from whatever was happening. If I didn’t know the truth, it couldn’t hurt me. Just before I turned eighteen, Eric and Charlotte sat me down. I was told that I would start working at the ranch on my birthday.”

  My breaths come faster, and when she takes too long to continue, I rasp, “What happens at the ranch?”

  “You become a sex worker.”

  I close my eyes wishing I could take back what I said to Evie.

  “That’s why I ran,” she whispers. “I couldn’t imagine anything worse than being forced to have sex with multiple men every night.”

  I take a step towards her, but catch myself in time. I’m not sure she wants me touching her right now.

  “I’m sorry, Evie. I didn’t mean it. I was jealous,” I say urgently, praying she’ll believe me.

  Her eyes find mine, and she pins me with a determined look.

  “I’m not a whore, Rhett. I’ve never sold my body for sex. I might have cleaned houses topless, but the worst that makes me is a stripper. There’s a huge difference. I never performed a sexual act for money. I never will. I don’t care if men stare at me. Their eyes can’t hurt me.”

  I open my mouth, but she quickly holds her hand up to silence me.

  “I feel violated. You think by throwing money my way I’m your property. I’m not. I never will be. I’m not a whore, Rhett. I’m definitely not your whore.”

  “I never said you were my whore,” I say lamely.

  “You treated me like one,” she whispers, but she might as well be screaming the words at me. “You’ve done it twice now. I’m grateful that you stepped in to help me when I had no one, but it doesn’t mean that I have no self-respect. It doesn’t mean that you can disrespect me. I might have been eating out of dumpsters,” her voice breaks and a tear sneaks down her face, “but I’m not trash.”

  When her face crumbles, I can’t just stand and watch her anymore. I shoot forward, and before she can move away, I wrap my arms around her. I hold her tightly as she breaks down. I want to kiss her pain away but instead I over her the comfort of my chest.

  “I’m so fucking sorry, Evie,” I whisper into her hair. “I never meant to make you feel like that.”

  Now that I know more about Evie’s past it makes my protective side grow into something dark.

  I’ve always been protective of Mia, but I’ve never felt anything like this before. Knowing that Logan would take care of Mia whenever I couldn’t, gave me peace of mind.

  Evie only has me. She’s been hurt, scared, and abandoned. The need in me to shield her from whatever life will still throw her way, becomes a living, breathing force.

  I press a kiss to the top of her head, then bringing my hands to her face, I frame her cheeks. Leaning down, I catch her eyes.

  “Since I’ve met you, all I’ve wanted to do was protect you. Tonight, I was a dick, and I hurt you. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I love you, Evie. I fucking love you. There’s so much good in you that it makes me feel half decent whenever I’m around you. I have my fucked-up issues, and they got out of control tonight. It won’t happen again.”

  The hurt doesn’t disappear from her eyes, and honestly, I didn’t expect it to. But when she nods, I feel the tight hold on my gut loosen a bit.

  Chapter 21

  EVIE

  “You wanna go back to the party?” Rhett asks.

  I pull my face free from his hands and shake my head.

  “No, I’m just going to go to sleep,” I whisper as I walk to the bathroom for some toilet paper. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and blow my nose before heading back to the room.

  “Can I stay with you?” Rhett asks.

  I sit down on the bed and think about what he just asked me. Part of me wants to put as much distance as possible between us so that Rhett will never be able to hurt me like he did tonight. But then there’s my heart, my foolish, forgiving heart that loves Rhett.

  With my mind screeching no and my heart yelling yes, I end up nodding.

  I get up and pull the covers back. I usually sleep in my boyshorts and tank top but seeing as Rhett is spending the night, I keep my sweatpants on.

  I pull the t-shirt off and duck under the covers.

  Rhett switches the light off, and I watch his profile as he pulls his shirt over his head. When he steps out of his jeans, I divert my eyes even though I can’t see much in the dark.

  He climbs into bed, and when he reaches for me, I let him pul
l me to his side. I rest my cheek on the warm skin over his heart and wrap an arm around his waist.

  His one hand disappears into my hair, and I’m not sure what he’s doing until he unties it.

  “That’s better.” His voice is a low rumble in the dark.

  We lie in silence for a couple of minutes, then Rhett asks, “Don’t you wonder about your biological parents?”

  “No,” I answer honestly. “They didn’t want me.”

  He presses his lips to my forehead, and keeping them there, he whispers, “I want you.”

  I smile into the dark and wrap my arm tighter around Rhett.

  ∞∞∞

  (Two years later…)

  Every time I say that I can’t handle anymore, the universe takes it as a dare.

  A week ago I walked in on Rhett having sex. I don’t know which part of the whole painful experience hurt most. Seeing him naked with another girl, or the fact that she has red hair like me.

  It’s no secret that if it has a pulse, Rhett will sleep with it. But actually seeing him thrusting into another girl… that just about killed me.

  Even though Rhett tells me often that he loves me, I’ve only said the words to him twice. The first time was the year we met, and I meant it in a friends kind of way. The second time was last year, but that time I meant that I loved him with all my heart.

  Rhett says he doesn’t see anything more than friendship between us, but then he holds me as if he’s scared I’ll vanish before his eyes. He looks at me as if I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

  Sometimes he even flirts with me, but nothing ever comes from it.

  “It’s time for me to let you go,” I whisper to the dark. I’m only hurting myself by staying here and holding onto a hope that will never materialize into something more.

  I can’t be around Rhett without it hurting. Every day my heart is crushed, and it’s becoming an endless cycle.

  I glance back at the cab that’s waiting to take me to the bus station and take a deep breath before I walk to the front door.

  Usually, I just walk inside, but tonight I knock on the door.

  I hear laughter inside, and when Rhett opens the door, and he sees it’s me, he frowns.

  “Why are you knocking? Come in.”

  I take a few steps backward and shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket.

  Rhett tilts his head to the side, and he takes a step towards me, which only makes me take another one backward. I need to keep the space between us.

  I force my eyes to stay locked with his, as I say the words I’ve repeated over and over to myself the past week.

  “I want you to know how thankful I am for everything you’ve done for me. I’ll never forget it.”

  The spit in my mouth thickens, and I swallow hard.

  The questioning look on Rhett’s face turns to shock as he catches on to what I’m doing.

  My heartbeat speeds up until it’s slamming against my ribs, trying to free itself from my body so it can stay behind with Rhett.

  “I’m leaving. I’ve come to say goodbye,” I whisper, unable to say the words much louder.

  “You’re leaving,” he breathes. His face turns hard, and it looks as if it has been chiseled out of stone. “Why?”

  I owe him honesty. It’s the least I can do after everything he’s done for me.

  “Loving you hurts too much. Seeing you with other women and knowing they’re getting the one thing I want most, is killing me. I’m in love with you, Rhett. I want it all. I want you, and I’m not prepared to share you with anyone else. But I know you don’t feel that way about me. I have to leave.”

  Pain flashes across his face, and I hate that I’m hurting him. Because I’m a selfish coward, I’m running away. It’s what I do best.

  Before I can lose my nerve, I dart forward and give him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. He’s so stunned that I manage to pull away before he can take hold of me.

  “I love you, Rhett Daniels. You’ll always be my hero,” I choke the words out before I turn around and run for the cab.

  “Evie!” He yells at me.

  I climb into the back of the cab as fast as I can, and scream, “Go! Drive!”

  The cab starts to pull away, and I look back to Rhett as he comes running towards us. I can’t hold the tears back any longer, and I let them fall as I place my hand flat against the window.

  “I love you so much,” I whisper as I watch him stop in the middle of the road. His hands fly to the back of his head, and the look on his face is pure devastation.

  “It’s for the best, Evie,” I whisper to myself, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand.

  The ride to the bus station is a blur of heartache. I somehow manage to pay the right fee for both the cab and the bus ticked when I get to the booth. I pick a random destination, Los Angeles. I’ve read the weather is perfect there.

  The thirty minutes I spend waiting for the bus, I keep glancing around, scared that Rhett will show up and convince me to stay. It wouldn’t take much effort on his part.

  When it comes to Rhett, it’s so easy to forgive him.

  But I have to do this for me.

  Chapter 22

  RHETT

  (Six years later…)

  I’m watching Frozen for the hundredth time with Danny tucked into my side. She’s rubbing a piece of my shirt caught between her thumb and forefinger, her eyes glued to the screen.

  When the movie gets close to our part, she scrambles to her knees and wildly slaps at my chest.

  “Get ready, Uncle Ledge!”

  I watch her take a deep breath, and I start to sing along with her on the soundtrack. I watch her little face as she concentrates on getting the words right.

  Her voice gets stronger as we near the chorus, and she squeals with laughter as I scoop her into my arms and dart up from the couch. I spin us around the living room as we both shout at the tops of our lungs, “Let it go. Let it go. Can’t hold it back anymore.”

  By the time the song is finished, I’m out of breath. I fall back on the couch, and Danny snuggles into my side again.

  We continue to watch the movie as if we didn’t dance and shout like a couple of crazy people just a few seconds ago.

  As the credits start to roll, Danny looks up at me. “When are you going to find your Elsa, Uncle Ledge?”

  I’m not about to ruin Danny’s little romantic heart, so I say, “I’ve already found my Anna, but right now she’s having an adventure.”

  Danny claps her hands. “Oh, you like Elsa’s sister. Ooooh. I can’t wait until she’s back and she can tell me all about it.”

  The smile fades from my face, and I whisper, “You and me both, Princess.”

  I told Danny I found my Anna because the character reminds me more of Evie than Elsa does. It was the easiest way I could think of to explain it to Danny.

  I sit and watch as Danny falls asleep before I slowly get up and cover her with the Little Mermaid blanket lying over the back of the couch.

  On my way to join the gang where they’re barbecuing, I grab a beer from the fridge. I pop the cap off and take a sip as I step outside.

  “Did she finally fall asleep?” Della asks, looking tired as hell where she’s sitting with Christopher sleeping on her lap. His one leg is up against her chest.

  “Let me take him so you can have a breather,” I say, setting down my beer and picking up my godson.

  “I swear, if it weren’t for you, I’d be crazy by now,” Della says a she gets up and stretches out. She presses a kiss to my cheek and walks towards the house.

  “Della, where are you going?” Carter yells from where he’s standing by the barbeque with Jaxson, Marcus, and Ryan.

  “I’m going to go pee before my bladder explodes,” she yells back at him.

  “Please grab me a beer on the way back.”

  Della glares at him before she disappears inside the house. I take a seat by Miss Sebastian, Mia, Willow, and Leigh. />
  “She wouldn’t let me take Christopher,” Miss Sebastian whispers to me. “She was waiting for you to come outside.”

  The smile on Miss Sebastian’s face tells me she’s not upset about it, but instead proud of me.

  “If I could have kids, I’d only trust you with them as well. I don’t blame her.”

  As Della comes back outside, I smile when I see the beer in her hand. She waves it in the air. “Come fetch your drink.”

  Carter comes over, but instead of going to Della, he heads in my direction.

  “How’s my little-man doing?”

  “Carter Hayes,” Della snaps. “Don’t you dare touch Christopher. I just got him to sleep.”

  “But you just handed him to Rhett?” Carter says with a look of confusion.

  “Because he is the only other person whose arms our children will sleep in. The second you touch them, they wake up and then I have to start all over again.”

  I smirk at Carter as he takes the beer from Della.

  Then I start to smell something just as Christopher begins to wiggle in my arms.

  “Oh, hell no. Take your kid,” I say as I dart up and pass him to Carter. “I draw the line at changing diapers.”

  I take a few steps back, almost falling over the chair I was sitting in, which makes everyone burst out laughing.

  “Scared of getting your hands dirty?” Miss Sebastian teases me.

  ∞∞∞

  By the time I get back to the hotel, I’m exhausted. Mia and Logan offered to stay with them, but as much as I love my niece, I don’t want to be woken by her crying every few hours.

  I rented out my place when I moved to LA. Everyone thinks it’s because I wanted to help Jaxson and Marcus set up the new business, but it’s because Evie is there.

  I haven’t seen or spoken to her in… fuck, I think it’s been six years. Yeah, I last saw her when I was twenty-two. I turned twenty-eight last month.

  Damn, it still feels like yesterday though. Marcus tends to drop something about Evie here and there, and it’s pathetic how I’ve become dependent on him just so I know what’s happening in her life.