Ice Lolly

by Jean Ure

  If she does answer, she’ll be cross. She hates people telephoning her. But I have to do it, for Mr Pooter.

  I let the phone ring three times and press the off button. then I ring again, and this time I let it keep ringing. It rings and it rings. I sink down next to Mr Pooter, and for just a minute my ice house begins to crumble. I feel the back of my eyes prickling. And then I hear Stevie’s voice, barking into my ear.

  “Yes?”

  “S-Stevie?” I say.

  “Who is this?”

  She sounds suspicious. I tell her that it’s Laurel. She says, “Laurel Winton? This time of night?”

  It’s only six o’clock. But Stevie is an old lady. I stammer that I’m really sorry to be a nuisance.

  “Well, get on with it,” says Stevie. “I’m in the middle of feeding time.” And then she shouts, very loudly, “You! Thomas. Get out of that dish!”

  I giggle, in spite of myself. She has always had trouble with Thomas. He’s large and stripy and he steals food.

  “No laughing matter,” grumbles Stevie. “Cat has no morality. What can I do for you?”

  I tell her that I’m worried about Mr Pooter. “He doesn’t want to eat and he keeps being sick and his ribs are showing!”

  “Kidneys,” says Stevie.

  I swallow. “Is that serious?”

  “Old cat. Could be. Needs to go to the vet, get treated.”

  “Will they be able to make him better?”

  Stevie says there are things that can be done. Special diets. Tablets. But I must take him straight away. “No hanging around. Get him there immediately.”

  I falter. “You mean, like…now?”

  “Tomorrow. Make an appointment.”

  I hear myself wailing down the phone, “I don’t know where the vet is!”

  “Yellow pages,” snaps Stevie. “Local library. ask!” And then, in her gruff, gravelly voice, she goes, “Must look after him. Gave your mum a lot of pleasure. Not fair to let him suffer.”

  I wouldn’t! I wouldn’t ever let Mr Pooter suffer. I tell Stevie that I will do what she says. I will find a vet and I will make an appointment.

  Talking to Stevie makes me feel strong and confident. I can do what she says. I will do what she says. It’s for Mr Pooter.

  And then I ring off, and bit by bit my confidence starts to trickle away. Instead of feeling strong I feel feeble and useless. I’m not sure that someone of twelve years old can make appointments with vets. And even if they can, how am I going to pay? Vets cost money. I don’t know how much, but a lot more than my pocket money. What am I going to do?

  I look at Mr Pooter, trustfully gazing up at me from the bed, and I know that I have to do something. I wish Mum was here! But she isn’t. It’s up to me. I know what I have to do, I have to get my courage up and ask Uncle Mark.

  I go downstairs. Uncle Mark is in his shed. He makes things in there, bird tables and dolls’ houses and stuff, which he sells to people. Mum always said he should have been a carpenter instead of the manager of a DIY shop.

  I tell him that Mr Pooter needs to go to the vet. “He’s not eating properly. I think it might be his kidneys.”

  “Well, now, Lol, you have to face it,” says Uncle Mark, “he is an old cat. I’m not quite sure how much they can do.”

  “There’s tablets,” I say. “They can make him better. Please! Can’t we make an appointment?”

  For a minute I think he’s going to say no; but then he sighs and says all right, we’ll take him along. “I’ll ask next door, they’ve got a cat. they’ll know which the nearest vet is.”

  I settle down to do my homework, with Mr Pooter sitting next to me. I tell him that we’re going to take him to the doctor and get some medicine. I feel happier now that I’ve talked to Uncle Mark. But then I go downstairs to get a glass of milk and Uncle Mark and Auntie Ellen are in the kitchen and the door is open a crack so that I can hear their voices. I hear Auntie Ellen saying something about “Ridiculous expense” and Uncle Mark saying “All she’s got”, and I know that they’re talking about me and Mr Pooter. I turn, and come rushing back upstairs and into my room, where I fling myself on to the bed and cuddle Mr Pooter as hard as ever I can.

  “I love you, I love you, I love you,” I whisper, into his fur. Mr Pooter rubs his head against me, and I tell him that everything is going to be all right. I’ll look after him.

  I decide that I will make a start on Three Men in a Boat. It is about these three men who go off in a boat with a dog called Montmorency. I know that it is supposed to be funny because of Mrs Caton telling how me she found it hilarious, so I am trying to find bits that make me laugh. When I find one I am going to write it down in my special notebook that Mum gave me last Christmas. It has a beautiful silk cover, embroidered in bright blues and oranges and emerald greens, with scarlet flowers. I have the page already open, but so far I haven’t found anything. It is quite worrying as I am already on page 32. I have to find something funny so that I can tell Mrs Caton tomorrow. She would be disappointed if I don’t like her book.

  There’s a bit about Montmorency, saying how his idea of living is to collect a gang of the most disreputable dogs he can find and lead them round town to fight other disreputable dogs. And a bit where J, who is the man telling the story, can’t find his coat and grows very cross when none of his friends can find it, either. He says, “You might just as well ask the cat to find anything!” Those bits are quite funny, I suppose. Especially the cat bit. I remember once when Mum had lost the front door key and we were looking all over for it, and Mr Pooter just sat there, with his paws tucked in, watching as we crawled round the room on our hands and knees, peering under the sofa and poking down the sides of chairs. And then he yawned, and stood up, and we discovered that he’d been sitting on it the whole time. Sitting on the front door key! Mum said, “That is just so typical of a cat!”

  I am about to take out my pen and start writing things down, to tell Mrs Caton, when Michael knocks at the door and says, “Dad wants you to come downstairs and be with the rest of us.” I hesitate. “You’re part of the family,” says Michael. “You can’t keep hiding away.”

  Reluctantly, I put down my notebook. Michael looks at me. He seems concerned. He says, “Don’t you like being with us?”

  I feel my cheeks grow pink. I mumble that I don’t think Auntie Ellen really wants me here. It’s not a criticism! If this was my house, I probably wouldn’t want me here.

  Now I’ve made Michael’s cheeks go pink, as well. He says that Auntie Ellen is doing her best to make me feel welcome. “She wants you to be happy…I think you should come down.”

  I leave Mr Pooter curled up on the duvet and obediently go with Michael to join the rest of the family. Holly, very self important, informs me that Auntie Ellen has just finished making her costume for Book Week. “I’m going as a Woodland Fairy… Holly tree fairy! Can I try it on, Mum?”

  She puts it on and starts pirouetting round the room.

  “Yuck,” says Michael; but he’s not being fair. Auntie Ellen is good at sewing. She’s made this really brilliant holly costume, all decorated with shiny green leaves and bright red berries.

  “Did you ever dress up for Book Week?” says Holly. “What did you dress up as?”

  “A pirate,” I say.

  “A pirate? You don’t have girl pirates!”

  “Why not?” says Michael.

  “Cos you don’t! Why did you go as a pirate?”

  “Just fancied it,” I say.

  I didn’t really fancy it. I really wanted to go as a fairy. Rainbow Fairy. that’s what I’d set my heart on. But Mum wasn’t ever very good at sewing. My fairy skirt was all limp and saggy, and the top bit didn’t fit properly. And when I picked up my fairy wand it immediately collapsed, which made Mum giggle. I didn’t giggle; I burst into tears. I sobbed and raged, cos now what was I going to do?

  “I look like I’m wearing a dish rag!” I blamed Mum for leaving everything till the last minute. “Li
ke you always do! Everyone else has had their costumes for weeks.”

  Mum immediately stopped giggling and promised that she would make me something else. “Something better! Even if I have to sit up all night.”Which she did. She made me this pirate outfit and I wasn’t in the least bit grateful. I shouted that I didn’t want to be a pirate, I wanted to be a Rainbow Fairy. Poor Mum! She begged me to give her a kiss and say she was forgiven, but I wouldn’t. I went off in a sulk and spent the whole day being jealous of all the people who had proper mums, who made them lovely sparkly fairy dresses which didn’t sag and bag. I was still cross when I got home. Mum tried so hard to make it up to me.

  “Oh, Lollipop, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I’m such a rotten mum!”

  But she wasn’t. She wasn’t! She was the best mum anyone ever had. I wish so much that I’d told her so!

  I have to go back upstairs. I need to cuddle Mr Pooter.

  “Where are you off to?” says Auntie Ellen. “You’ve only just come down.”

  I tell her that I have to write a book report for Mrs Caton. “I want to do it while it’s fresh in my mind.” Auntie Ellen shakes her head, like, I give up!

  “Go on, then,” she says. “If that’s what you want.”

  I gallop back up the stairs. Mr Pooter opens an eye and stretches. I check the room, but I don’t think he’s moved, so that is all right.

  “Good boy,” I say. “Good boy!”

  I settle down beside him and start writing in my notebook. I put down the bit about Montmorency and his gang of dogs. I put down the cat bit. I can’t think of anything else. The truth is, I am finding this book quite difficult to get into. Maybe it is because I am worried about Mr Pooter and not in the right mood. Or maybe it’s because this is the first grown-up book that I have tried to read on my own, without Mum. If Mum were reading it to me, and doing all the voices, then I am sure I would find lots to laugh at. But I am not going to give up! I am a real book person and Mrs Caton is eagerly waiting to know how I get on.

  On the way in to school this morning Uncle Mark says that he will ring the vet and make an appointment for this evening. Auntie Ellen is with us, as it is one of her days when she works in the shop. She says that she is the one who will be coming with me. My heart goes plummeting. I don’t want Auntie Ellen coming with me! But I haven’t any choice. It’s Thursday, and late-night shopping, and Uncle Mark won’t be home in time.

  After lunch I go to the library. I take out my notebook and read Mrs Caton the bits I’ve written down.

  “I think those bits were hilarious,” I say.

  I wasn’t quite sure what the word hilarious meant until I looked it up in the dictionary. It means “very funny”, and I didn’t honestly find either of the bits very funny. Just a little bit funny. But Mrs Caton looks pleased.

  “I’m so glad you’re enjoying it,” she says. “I thought you would.”

  I promise her that I will make a note of all the other bits I find funny, so that I can tell her about them. She says that’s a good idea.

  “It’ll be something to look forward to at the start of next term.”

  “I’ll have finished it long before then,” I say. “I’ll probably have read a million others by then!”

  Now I’m being boastful again. I don’t mean to be, but it’s probably true, I will have read a million others. there are eight long weeks to go and I can’t think what else there’ll be to do.

  I get home to find Auntie Ellen waiting impatiently for me. “Go and fetch the cat,” she says. “Put it in its box, we have to be at the vet for 4.15.”

  I hate that she calls Mr Pooter “the cat”. He’s Mr Pooter! I go upstairs to get him and he purrs amiably. I think he quite likes his box. Holly, for some reason, insists on coming with us. She says she’s never been to the vet’s before and she wants to know what it’s like. I tell her it’s like being at the doctor’s, except all the patients are animals.

  We sit in the Reception area, waiting to be called. I hold Mr Pooter on my lap, in his box. He crouches, watchfully. There are other people with cats, some people with dogs, one little girl with a pet rabbit. I try to interest Mr Pooter in the rabbit, but Auntie Ellen tells me sharply not to make a nuisance of myself. all I was doing was just turning his box in the right direction, so he could see! Holly wrinkles her nose and says there’s a smell. auntie Ellen tells her it’s disinfectant and she goes, “Ugh! Yuck! Poo!” But then a vet puts his head round the door and calls out, “Fluffy Marshall?” and Holly giggles – “Fluffy Marshall!” – and wants to know whether that’s the name of the cat or the name of the owner. auntie Ellen tells her to be quiet and stop showing off, so then she sits in a sulk, scuffing her feet on the floor.

  When it’s our turn the vet calls, “Pooter Walters!” He’s not Pooter Walters, he’s Pooter Winton, but I suppose it’s not really important. What’s important is that the vet is going to make him better.

  We all troop into the surgery. the vet asks what the problem seems to be, and I tell him about Mr Pooter being sick and not wanting to eat.

  “And how old is he?” says the vet.

  Proudly I say that he’s sixteen.

  “Quite an old fellow,” says the vet.

  He examines Mr Pooter all over. Mr Pooter is so good! He doesn’t complain once. I stroke him and tell him that everything is going to be all right.

  “Well,” says the vet, straightening up. “In view of his age, I’d say it’s almost certainly a kidney problem, but we’d better do a blood test to make sure.”

  “Is that really necessary?” says Auntie Ellen.

  The vet says if we want a proper diagnosis, it is.

  “What I mean,” says Auntie Ellen, “is it really worth it? At his age?”

  I hold my breath. I squeeze Mr Pooter.

  “We can’t treat him if we don’t know what’s wrong,” says the vet. “I agree that he’s old, but he’s not ancient. Cats can easily live to be nineteen or twenty. Even older.”

  I am so relieved I let out my breath in a big whoosh. I don’t think Auntie Ellen is too happy, but she lets the vet take a sample of Mr Pooter’s blood. I keep him very close and whisper in his ear and he doesn’t even flinch. He is a very brave cat. the vet says the results will be through in a couple of days and then we can decide on the appropriate treatment. In the meanwhile, he says, we should try him with a special diet.

  I put Mr Pooter back in his box and we go out to Reception to collect some cans of special cat diet and pay the bill. I am scared when I see how much the bill comes to. I would have to save up my pocket money for months before I would have enough to pay it. Auntie Ellen is outraged. angrily she drives us home, saying over and over that it is daylight robbery. I tell her that I will pay it back, that Uncle Mark needn’t give me any more pocket money until—

  “Until kingdom come!” snaps Auntie Ellen. “Don’t be absurd.”

  “It’s her cat,” says Holly, “so she ought to pay it back.”

  I say that I will. “I promise!”

  “It’s only fair,” says Holly.

  Auntie Ellen tell us both to be quiet. “I’ve had enough for one day.”

  As soon as we’re back I go upstairs with Mr Pooter and ring Stevie. It’s only five o’clock, so maybe she won’t be too cross. She’s not cross at all! She wants to hear about Mr Pooter. I tell her what the vet said and she says that the special diet will help, but if Mr Pooter is still being picky I could try buying some prawns and whizzing them up in the food processor.

  “Make them into a nice soft mush…that should tempt him.”

  I am going to go out first thing tomorrow and buy some prawns with what is left of my pocket money. Before I stop getting pocket money. I am not sure whether Uncle Mark is going to go on giving me any or not. When he came in I told him he needn’t, “I’m going to pay back every penny!” Uncle Mark told me not to be silly. He said of course I didn’t need to pay him back. But then Holly chimed in with “It’s her cat!” and Auntie E
llen said again about daylight robbery. So now I don’t really know. that is why I am going to buy the prawns, quickly, while I still can.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Auntie Ellen and Holly are getting ready to go into town to do some shopping. auntie Ellen wants to know if I’m going with them, but I say I can’t as I have to finish reading my book.

  “All this reading,” says Auntie Ellen, sounding irritable. “There has to be more to life!”

  “I just want to finish it,” I say.

  They’re only going to Tesco. I don’t know why it makes her so cross, but lots of the things I do make Auntie Ellen cross. I think she doesn’t really like me very much. I try to pretend that I don’t care. But deep down, I do. I just can’t think what to do about it.

  As soon as she and Holly are gone, I’m going down to the minimart near the roundabout to buy prawns for Mr Pooter. there! That’s it. they’ve gone. I wait for the sound of Auntie Ellen’s car, backing out of the garage, then I snatch up my purse and dash off.

  I come back triumphantly with a medium-size bag of frozen prawns. I fetch Mr Pooter from the bedroom so he can see me warm them up under the hot tap and put them in the blender. He sits on the table, looking interested.

  “Special treat,” I tell him. He’s definitely interested. the only time he’s ever tasted prawns was one Christmas, when me and Mum had prawn cocktails for a treat and he got so excited he jumped up and started hooking prawns out with his paw. We laughed so much, we didn’t have the heart to tell him off. In the end, he ate more prawns than we did. But as Mum said, “It’s his Christmas too.” I wonder if he remembers?

  I put the prawn mush into a plastic pot and carefully wash and dry the blender. I don’t want Auntie Ellen knowing what I’ve done; she’d be sure to disapprove.

  “Let’s go outside,” I say. I pick up the pot, plus Mr Pooter’s dish and Three Men in a Boat, and Mr Pooter follows me into the garden, where we settle down on the grass and I spoon out some of the mixture. Mr Pooter’s nose is twitching. He seems really eager. He’s eating! I’m so happy I immediately ring Stevie to tell her. Stevie says that’s good. “But only little bits at a time. Don’t want him throwing up.” I ask her how little the bits should be, and how often I should give them to him, but she just snaps “Common sense!” and rings off. I think perhaps just a couple of blobs every half hour.