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QI: The Book of General Ignorance - The Noticeably Stouter Edition

Page 33

by John Lloyd


  Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman (1836–1908) was born Henry Campbell. The name Bannerman was added in 1871, as a condition to his inheriting his uncle’s estate. After succeeding Arthur James Balfour, who resigned in 1905, Campbell-Bannerman became Britain’s first official Prime Minister. His unusually strong cabinet included two future Prime Ministers (Asquith and Lloyd George) and he led the Liberals to a landslide victory in the 1906 General Election.

  More radical than liberal, he supported women’s suffrage and Irish devolution; introduced the Old Age Pension; improved the lot of the poor; denounced British ‘barbarism’ in the conduct of the Boer War; arranged self-government for much of South Africa; and pushed through the Trade Disputes Act in 1906 which gave unions considerable freedom to strike.

  In 1907, the year after the election, he had a heart attack, followed by a second one in 1908, after which he resigned in favour of Asquith. Just over two weeks later, he died at No. 10 Downing Street.

  His last words were: ‘This is not the end of me.’

  Who invented the Penny Post?

  Once upon a time every schoolboy’s hand would have shot up and the class would have shouted ‘Rowland Hill in 1840, Sir!’ in unison. Not these days.

  This isn’t such a disaster, because those clever-clogs were wrong. William Dockwra had already established the London Penny Post 240 years earlier. It handled packets up to one pound in weight, there were several deliveries a day, and items were also delivered to addresses within ten miles of London for an extra charge of one penny. In 1683, Dockwra was forced to surrender his business to the government-operated General Post Office, a monopoly controlled by the Duke of York, later King James II.

  In 1764, Parliament authorised the creation of Penny Posts in any town or city of the UK. By the beginning of the nineteenth century several were in existence. In 1840, Rowland Hill’s Uniform Penny Post was established throughout the UK, and soon afterwards postage could be prepaid with the adhesive stamp known as the Penny Black. In 1898, the Imperial Penny Post extended the rate throughout the British Empire.

  There are several candidates for the first true postal service. Egyptian pharaohs had an organised courier system as early as 2400 BC. The envelope was invented in Assyria around 2000 BC: both letters and envelopes were made of pottery. Cyrus the Great (568–528 BC), the founder of the Persian Empire, had a swift courier service that greatly impressed Herodotus. Confucius (551–479 BC) wrote: ‘News travels faster than the mail,’ so presumably the Chinese had one around that time too.

  The word ‘post’ comes from the Latin posita, ‘placed’, from the verb ponere, ‘to place’. The Roman postal service was two-tier: first class went by horse and second class by ox-cart. The word ‘mail’ comes from Old French male, a wallet or bag

  The Postmaster General in 1840, Lord Lichfield, criticised Hill’s scheme as ‘wild and visionary’ but it was an immediate success, especially with Queen Victoria. She liked the profile portrait of her on the Penny Black so much that she ordered that the same image be used on all subsequent issues of the stamp for the next sixty years.

  The first philatelist surfaced within a year of the first stamp being issued: a young woman who advertised in The Times for sufficient stamps to cover her bedroom walls. Because the UK was the first to issue them, British stamps have the unique distinction of not carrying the name of the issuing country.

  What do you get when you’re 100 years old?

  A telemessage.

  It’s no longer a telegram from Her Majesty and it isn’t automatic – you have to apply for it.

  UK inland telegrams were abolished in 1982 and replaced by telemessages which are delivered the next day, along with the normal post. BT describes the new service as: ‘an efficient means of contacting customers with vital information, integrating into their whole customer communication strategy to produce real added value results.’ Sounds enticing, doesn’t it?

  In the United Kingdom, the Queen (if asked) sends telemessage greetings on the 100th birthday and on every birthday after the 105th. In the United States, centenarians receive a letter from the President. Today, centenarians are the fastest-growing demographic group in the UK – increasing by 7 per cent each year. In 2000, there were 7,000 people in the UK aged 100 or more. Worldwide, there were an estimated 100,000. By 2050, there could be more than two million.

  According to Genesis 5: 27, Methuselah lived to be 969 years old. It has been suggested that this was a translation error in which lunar cycles were mistaken for the solar ones, and the actual ages are 13.5 times less. This makes Methusaleh a rather ordinary seventy-two. However, other patriarchs such as Mahalalel (Genesis 5: 15) and Enoch (Genesis 5: 21) were said to have become fathers after sixty-five ‘years’. If the lunar cycle theory is accepted this would translate to an age of about four years and ten months.

  Jeanne Calment of Arles is the oldest person whose age has definitely been verified by modern documentation. Born in 1875, she lived to the age of 122.

  At 116 years, Christian Mortensen (1882–1998), a Danish-born American, is the oldest documented male. His closest rival, Shigechiyo Izumi (?1865–1986) from Japan, is supposed to have reached 120, but there are rumours that his birth certificate was actually his brother’s. His claim is recognised by the Guinness Book of World Records.

  On her 121st birthday, Jeanne Calment was asked for the secret of her longevity. She attributed it to olive oil, which she ate nearly every meal as well as rubbing it into her skin. ‘I only have one wrinkle,’ she gurgled coquettishly, ‘and I’m sitting on it.’

  EPISODES

  SERIES A

  Pilotf

  Alan Davies (118 points)

  Bill Bailey (Winner with 132 points)

  Eddie Izzard (131 points) 1st and only appearance

  Kit Hesketh-Harvey (125 points) 1st and only appearance

  Episode 1 ‘Adam’

  Alan Davies (–5 points)

  Danny Baker (Winner with 18 points) 1st appearance

  Hugh Laurie (11 points) 1st and only appearance

  John Sessions (10 points) 1st appearanc

  Episode 2 ‘Astronomy’

  Alan Davies (–30 points)

  Bill Bailey (5 points) 1st appearance

  Rich Hall (Joint Winner with 20 points) 1st appearance

  Jeremy Hardy (Joint Winner with 20 points) 1st appearance

  Episode 3 ‘Aquatic Animals’

  Alan Davies (–20 points)

  Clive Anderson (Winner with 26 points) 1st appearance

  Bill Bailey (10 points) 2nd appearance

  Meera Syal (19 points) 1st and only appearance

  Episode 4 ‘Atoms’

  Alan Davies (–24 points)

  Jo Brand (Winner with 36 points) 1st appearance

  Howard Goodall (13 points) 1st appearance

  Jeremy Hardy (7 points) 2nd appearance

  Episode 5 ‘Advertising’

  Alan Davies (15 points)

  Gyles Brandreth (Winner with 54 points) 1st and only appearance

  Rob Brydon (17 points) 1st appearance

  Rich Hall (35 points) 2nd appearance

  Episode 6 ‘Antidotes’

  Alan Davies (8 points)

  Danny Baker (Winner with 19 points) 2nd appearance

  Jo Brand (13 points) 2nd appearance

  Howard Goodall (17 points) 2nd appearance

  Episode 7 ‘Arthropods’

  Alan Davies (0 points)

  Jo Brand (–38 points) 3rd appearance

  Jimmy Carr (–1 point) 1st appearance

  Jackie Clune (Winner with 5 points) 1st and only appearance

  Episode 8 ‘Albania’

  Alan Davies (–30 points)

  Clive Anderson (Winner with 37 points) 2nd appearance

  Sean Lock (25 points) 1st appearance

  Linda Smith (30 points) 1st appearance

  Episode 9 ‘Africa’

  Alan Davies (10 points)

  Jo Brand (15 points) 4th appearance<
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  Dave Gorman (Winner with 20 points) 1st and only appearance

  Jeremy Hardy (15 points) 3rd appearance

  Episode 10 ‘Alan’

  Alan Davies (Winner with 23 points!) 1st win

  Rich Hall (3 points) 3rd appearance

  Julia Morris (9 points) 1st and only appearance

  Peter Serafinowicz (–5 points) 1st and only appearance

  Episode 11 ‘Arts’

  Alan Davies (–18 points)

  Bill Bailey (–2 points) 3rd appearance

  Richard E. Grant (Winner with 12 points) 1st and only appearance

  Linda Smith (5 points) 2nd appearance

  Episode 12 ‘Advent’ (Christmas Special)

  Alan Davies (–6 points)

  Phill Jupitus (5 points) 1st appearance

  Sean Lock (7 points) 2nd appearance

  John Sessions (Winner with 28 points) 2nd appearance

  SERIES B

  Episode 1 ‘Blue’

  Alan Davies (–22 points)

  Bill Bailey (7 points) 4th appearance

  Jo Brand (–20 points) 5th appearance

  Sean Lock (Winner with 17 points) 3rd appearance

  Episode 2 ‘Birds’

  Alan Davies (–40 points)

  Jo Brand (–8 points) 6th appearance

  Rich Hall (Winner with 3 points) 4th appearance

  Phil Kay (1 point) 1st appearance

  Episode 3 ‘Bombs’

  Alan Davies (–4 points)

  Clive Anderson (1 point) 3rd appearance

  Rich Hall (2 points) 5th appearance

  Phill Jupitus (Winner with 4 points) 2nd appearance

  Episode 4 ‘Bible’

  Alan Davies (–6 points)

  Jeremy Clarkson (Winner with 5 points) 1st appearance

  Barry Cryer (–6 points) 1st and only appearance

  Jeremy Hardy (3 points) 4th appearance

  Episode 5 ‘Bears’

  Alan Davies (–35 points)

  Bill Bailey (–5 points) 5th appearance

  Jo Brand (8 points) 7th appearance

  Jimmy Carr (Winner with 15 points) 2nd appearance

  Episode 6 ‘Beavers’

  Alan Davies (–18 points)

  Bill Bailey (6 points) 6th appearance

  Sean Lock (–18 points) 4th appearance

  Anneka Rice (Winner with 7 points) 1st and only appearance

  Episode 7 ‘Biscuits’

  Alan Davies (–20 points)

  Rich Hall (2 points) 6th appearance

  Dara Ó Briain (Winner with 4 points) 1st appearance

  Arthur Smith (–18 points) 1st appearance

  Episode 8 ‘Bees’

  Alan Davies (–19 points)

  Rich Hall (Winner with 5 points) 7th appearance

  Jo Brand (–8 points) 8th appearance

  Fred MacAulay (4 points) 1st and only appearance

  Episode 9 ‘Bats’

  Alan Davies (–72 points)

  Rich Hall (Joint Winner With 4 points) 8th appearance

  Josie Lawrence (Joint Winner With 4 points) 1st and only appearance

  John Sessions (–14 points) 3rd appearance

  Episode 10 ‘Bills’

  Alan Davies (–26 points)

  Phil Kay (0 points) 2nd appearance

  Clive Anderson (Winner with 1 point) 4th appearance

  John Sessions (–10 points) 4th appearance

  Episode 11 ‘Beats’

  Alan Davies (–13 points)

  Mark Gatiss (–4 points) 1st and only appearance

  Sean Lock (–8 points) 5th appearance

  Linda Smith (Winner with 2 points) 3rd and final appearance

  Episode 12 ‘Birth’ (Christmas special)

  Alan Davies (–52 points)

  Rich Hall (Winner with 7 points) 9th appearance (6th appearance of

  the series)

  Mark Steel (2 points) 1st appearance

  Phill Jupitus (–3 points) 3rd appearance

  Stephen Fry (–56 points)

  SERIES C

  Episode 1 ‘Campanology’

  Alan Davies (–25 points)

  Bill Bailey (–5 points) 7th appearance

  Rob Brydon (–16 points) 2nd appearance

  Rich Hall (Winner with 8 points) 10th appearance

  Episode 2 ‘Cummingtonite’

  Alan Davies (–4 points)

  Andy Hamilton (Winner with 5 points) 1st appearance

  Doon Mackichan (–2 points) 1st appearance

  Arthur Smith (–6 points) 2nd appearance

  Episode 3 ‘Common Knowledge’

  Alan Davies (–9 points)

  Jimmy Carr (–12 points) 3rd appearance

  Sean Lock (0 points) 6th appearance

  Rory McGrath (Winner with 88 points) 1st appearance

  Episode 4 ‘Cheating’

  Alan Davies (–52 points)

  Alexander Armstrong (Winner with 93 points) 1st and only

  appearance

  Jeremy Clarkson (0 points) 2nd appearance

  John Sessions (–10 points) 5th appearance

  Episode 5 ‘Cat’s Eyes’

  Alan Davies (–18 points)

  Jo Brand (–28 points) 9th appearance

  Rich Hall (3 points) 11th appearance

  Sean Lock (Winner with 12 points) 7th appearance

  Episode 6 ‘Cockneys’

  Alan Davies (–19 points)

  Bill Bailey (Winner with 3 points) 8th appearance

  Phill Jupitus (–12 points) 4th appearance

  Rory McGrath (–1 point) 2nd appearance

  Episode 7 ‘Constellations’

  Alan Davies (–18 points)

  Jeremy Clarkson (Winner with 5 points) 3rd appearance

  Rich Hall (2 points) 12th appearance

  Sean Lock (3 points) 8th appearance

  Episode 8 ‘Corby’

  Alan Davies (–40 points)

  Bill Bailey (–8 points) 9th appearance

  Phill Jupitus (–9 points) 5th appearance

  David Mitchell (Winner with 0 points) 1st appearance

  Episode 9 ‘Creatures’

  Alan Davies (15 points)

  Helen Atkinson-Wood (Winner with 200 points) 1st and only appearance

  Bill Bailey (–20 points) 10th appearance

  Andy Hamilton (22 points) 2nd appearance

  Episode 10 ‘Cleve Crudgington’

  Alan Davies (–84 points)

  Clive Anderson (–28 points) 5th appearance

  John Sessions (–16 points) 6th appearance

  Mark Steel (Winner with 2 points) 2nd appearance

  Episode 11 ‘Carnival’

  Alan Davies (–26 points)

  Clive Anderson (Winner with 0 points) 6th appearance

  Jo Brand (–23 points) 10th appearance

  Phill Jupitus (–23 points) 6th appearance

  Episode 12 ‘Combustion’

  Alan Davies (–47 points)

  Bill Bailey (Winner with 3 points) 11th appearance

  Phill Jupitus (–18 points) 7th appearance

  Dara Ó Briain (–8 points) 2nd appearance

  SERIES D

  Episode 1 ‘Danger’

  Alan Davies (–19 points)

  Jo Brand (Winner with 7 points) 11th appearance

  Jimmy Carr (0 points) 4th appearance

  Sean Lock (4 points) 9th appearance

  Episode 2 ‘Discoveries’

  Alan Davies (0 points)

  Clive Anderson (–7 points) 7th appearance

  Vic Reeves (Winner with 16 points) 1st appearance

  Arthur Smith (–23 points) 3rd appearance

  Episode 3 ‘Dogs’

  Alan Davies (–36 points)

  Jeremy Clarkson (–13 points) 4th appearance

 

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