I gasp, my jaw dropping. He’s killing me. The intensity of that statement leaves me breathless.
He pulls back and laughs, his eyes alive with raw heat. “You have no fucking idea what I would do to you if I could. Your sweet body would never forget the places mine touched.”
“Grayson, good God.” I look away. I’m sure my body is a blazing hue of red at the heat in his words.
“I’ll wait until you’re ready, sweet cheeks.” He leans in to brush a soft kiss on my cheek, then lets me go and walks out of the bathroom.
I hop off the counter, trying to catch my breath as I trail behind him. I can’t formulate thoughts right now. The sexual tension between us is growing with every passing day, and I don’t think staying here’s a good idea. Once I make it to the living room, Gray opens the front door and greets Cali with a gruff nod.
She walks in, coming straight toward me. “Oh my God! I missed you! Let’s never be apart again.”
I laugh at her melodrama. “I missed you too, Cali girl.”
“We have so much to talk about,” she says rapidly. “So, so, so much, but first things first, I need to get this out of my hands. Your friend here”—she looks at Gray and winks—“had me pick something up for you.”
I look at the gift-wrapped box in her hands. I feel a flash of excitement cartwheel through me. I love presents and I’m never, ever one to shy away from a gift.
“What?” I squeal at Gray. “You bought me something?”
He smiles. “Maybe.”
I grab the package and rip it open. I have no dignity when it comes to presents. Once I glimpse what’s inside the box, I stop, tears pooling in my eyes. Oh my God… Nestled inside is a pair of six-inch, python-silver-encrusted Louboutin’s.
“Grayson…” I breathe, flipping my eyes to his. “How did you know I wanted these?” I set them on the ground reverently and slip my bare feet inside, closing my eyes. Heaven.
“Cali told me you wanted them,” he replies, his tone a tender caress.
My heart melts and I throw myself in his arms. “Thank you, Gray. And not just for the shoes, but for being you. For being there for me. For loving me regardless of the fact that I’m a fuck up. Just… thank you.”
He grips me tight and moves his mouth to my ear so Cali can’t hear. “You are not a fuck up. You’ve never been a fuck up. I’d give you everything if you’d let me. You shouldn’t be thanking me for this. This is what you deserve, Kylie.”
I bury my face in the hollow of his neck, moved by the way he shows his love for me. I’m all over the place. My feelings are morphing for this man. I pull back and look at Cali, wiping a couple of happy tears off my cheeks.
A scandalous smile brushes her lips as her brows rise in appreciation. “Mmm, my lover’s lookin’ sexy as shit.”
I giggle as she instantly cuts the tension. God, I love my friends. Even though, at this point, I don’t know what to classify Gray as. Tonight, I decided to wear dark, cropped skinny jeans and a red V-neck blouse. I didn’t want to go too fancy, so I left my hair down with a jeweled headband skimming my forehead. I went for a hippie chic look.
“Thank you,” I murmur. “You’re looking pretty good yourself, Cali.”
As usual, Calia looks stunning. She’s in a little red dress with black peep-toe pumps. Her hair is up in a high ponytail, her ears adorned with big jeweled earrings. Her face is flawless with just a hint of makeup. She really is drop dead gorgeous.
“Are you ready?” She grins and points at the door.
“Sure.” I glance at my new shoes. “I can’t believe you bought me these.” I’m still entranced by the pumps. I might be a shoe dork, but I try to soak up happiness from the little things in life. Friends. Shoes. A night out. All that equals escape. I want out of my head.
He smiles. “I’m glad you love them. Now go have fun and be careful.”
I kiss Gray’s cheek, and we’re off. We hop in a taxi and head to Braxton’s, one of the hottest and craziest clubs in the area.
When we pull up fifteen minutes later, Cali screams, “Hell yeah!”
I laugh as she grabs my hand and drags me to the entrance. The music booms through the closed club doors, and two huge bouncers stand guard. I watch her lean over and whisper in one bouncer’s ear. He tosses her a grin and nods, opening the black ropes to let us in. She kisses his cheek, flutters her eyelashes, and shimmies. The guy laughs and leans over to whisper in her ear. Cali shivers in response.
Interesting… I make a mental note to interrogate my friend about her blatant flirting when we get through the doors.
Eventually, she tugs me inside the club. The music blares, and the atmosphere is filled with excitement and possibilities. Single ladies dance, and the guys looking for a night of fun keep their eyes riveted to the beauty around them.
We shuffle to the bar, and Cali yells over the song, “What are we having?”
“Patron,” I yell back, grinning.
“Going hard.”
“As always, baby.” I giggle over the loud music.
Her eyes glitter with delight and uncontained joy. “You know it.”
This is our club, the place where we let our hair down and enjoy ourselves completely. We always come here together. Cali’s my pick-me-up, and I hope I’m the same for her.
She hands me a shot and a lime. “Ready?”
“Let’s do this.”
We skip the salt, throwing back the shots and sucking the lime quickly. We both grimace, not afraid to show our distaste for hard liquor. We do two more rounds, then grab a Patron and Coke to carry with us to the dance floor. The music switches to a techno beat, and we laugh with each other as we start to dance. We have a blast, singing and getting lost in each other. Just two girls having fun, holding our drinks in the air, and living our night to the fullest.
After several songs, I pull her aside, a nice buzz tantalizing my body. “Spill it! What’s up with Beefcake outside?”
She looks confused, then finally seems to register my question. “He’s a friend of my brother’s. I’m thinking of taking him for a long ride.” She wiggles her brows suggestively, and I can’t help but grin.
“When?”
A sly, seductive smile slips across her face, and her eyes flash with a naughty glint. “I was thinking of doing it tonight.”
“That’s my girl!” I hoot, taking a quick sip of my drink. “He’s definitely a hottie.”
“Oh God, he is. My brother played football with him. He’s really sweet. The last time we talked, he confessed to liking kink.” Her cheeks turn red.
“What? Like, what kind of kink?” My brows rise as I wait for her to divulge the juicy details.
She wraps her arms around my neck as though we’re dancing together. I grind into her, and she laughs.
“We are such kinky bitches,” she says.
“Yeah, we are. But stop stalling and give me the details.” I’m dying to lose myself in her life for a couple minutes.
She moves in close to whisper, “He likes whips, chains, and domineering type stuff. He told me he likes to have sex in front of people and enjoys watching it, too.”
“Holy crap!” I pull back, shocked. I like a little spanking here and there, and I definitely like to be controlled, but voyeurism is a whole other ballgame. “Are you okay with that, Cali girl?”
“I don’t know… I think I might want to explore a little, do some darker stuff. You know?” Her cheeks turn a deeper crimson from her confession.
“Damn, girl.” I whistle.
“I know. Do you think I’m crazy?” she asks, her face falling in apprehension.
“Do I think you’re crazy?” She nods, so I let go of her and step back. My face shines with mirth as I try to make light of her naughty confession. “I have three words for you.”
She stares at me curiously until I start to shimmy my boobs. I shake, drop, and dance around her, being silly. She covers her face, mortified by my antics. I watch her mood lighten as she shakes her
head.
In my best crazy voice, I scream, “Get it, girl!”
That makes her giggle, and her blue eyes sparkle once again. We dance a little more until I need to take a minute.
“You wanna grab a couple more drinks? I need some more liquor,” I say.
She nods, so we move to the bar, bobbing our heads along the way. Once we order, I look around at all the people having a good time.
Cali’s voice pierces the air. “Have you fucked Grayson yet?”
If I had a drink in my mouth, I’d probably have choked. “Jeez, Cali, don’t sugarcoat it.”
She shifts toward me, not an ounce of humor on her face or in her tone. “Why sugarcoat something that has either happened or is about to happen?”
I tip my head down as my buzz dribbles away. “I don’t want to hurt Coop.”
She strokes my arm until I look her way. “Let’s do these”—she points at six perfect tequila shots—“and then we can go outside to talk, okay?”
I nod, turning toward the drinks. We throw them back, and by the third, I start to feel sick from the nasty burn. A cup of Coke is thrust into my hand before the alcohol has a chance to come back up. I take a huge sip to chase the taste away. The buzz of the tequila hits me fast. Cali grabs my hand and pulls me to the exit for fresh air.
The night is cool, the breeze calming as we head to a little table behind Braxton’s. We sit in silence, enjoying the alcoholic haze and air whipping against our sweaty skin. My stomach hurts as I think of Cooper. I miss him so much. I want him, need him by my side. I pull my phone out of my back pocket and shoot him a text.
Me: I need you.
I set the phone on the table and close my eyes, wishing the alcohol would ease my burden.
“We haven’t had a lot of time to talk over the last three weeks,” Cali says. “Do you want to tell me why you’re staying with Gray, Coco?”
I’m not sure how to say it, so I just spit it out. “Cooper had a moment.”
Cali becomes quiet, very, very quiet. I give her time, letting her take what she wants from my statement. I open my eyes and meet hers.
“Did he touch you?” she asks, her body shaking slightly.
“No. Yes. Sort of.” I’m not sure how to communicate what happened. “He just sort of lost it. I’ve put him through a lot. I’m not making excuses for him, but he’s dealing with too much right now. Gray’s being over-protective and doesn’t want me to go home, but I’m fine. I just miss Coop. Why does it have to hurt this bad?”
“Because you love him,” she whispers.
“I know, but is it enough, Cali? I don’t know anymore. I keep telling myself I’ll wait. He’ll forgive me. But I don’t know if I can. I’m not sure I can get through to him. He’s too angry.” I admit, my eyes filling with tears.
My body pines for something it can’t have. I check my phone to see if he responded, but there’s nothing. I decide to send him another message, hoping it’ll make a dent in his hardened heart.
Me: I miss you.
I hold my breath, wishing for a response. I desperately will him to give me something, but all I get is the usual deafening silence. I feel distress setting in, an overwhelming feeling of abandonment pressing against my chest. Then my phone lights up, and renewed hope sets in. Maybe he’s thinking about me too. I glance at the display.
But the name skipping across the screen makes my stomach drop. My hope is dashed, and a tear drips down my face.
Nate: Are you ready for round two? Cause I can’t stop thinking of that sweet pussy.
I’m slammed by anger: at Cooper for acting as if I’m dead, at Nate for thinking there’ll be a round two, and at myself for getting involved with a slimeball. I set the phone down and inhale a cleansing breath. No way in hell will I text him back. That was a mistake, one I’m eager to put behind me. I’m sick of men. I don’t want to deal with them anymore. I just want the feelings that sex creates, not the baggage that goes with it.
I want to be free.
I hope I’m strong enough to break this cycle I’ve put myself in. But without a little communication from Coop, I’m not sure how long I can last. I look at Cali, at the compassion in her blue eyes. She smiles, but it’s forced. She sees my broken heart and knows that I’m struggling to get my life in order.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know you love him, and I know he loves you. He’s just being an asshole. You guys have been through so much, and he’s overwhelmed. If it makes you feel any better, he’s looked like shit for the past couple of weeks.”
That statement gets my attention. Cooper prides himself on looking put together. He prides himself on pretending he’s the perfect man. My stomach dips in dread.
“What do you mean?”
“He looks like he hasn’t been sleeping, like something’s bothering him. He’s not his arrogant self. He’s looked a mess.” Her forehead creases. “Of course, Layla’s been there picking up the pieces.” She rolls her eyes.
“Wh …What pieces?” I stammer, starting to freak out.
“Like I said, he’s seemed off. He hasn’t been paying attention. He’s been barking orders, which is typical Cooper, but the last couple of weeks have been different. He’s stressed. Overtired. Overworked. He looks like something’s on his mind.” She sighs, sadness swirling in her blue eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know if I should even tell you this, but I think something’s going on with him and Layla. After he got back from Key West, I noticed things between them heating up. I tried to keep an eye on them. Cooper’s pretty good at keeping up appearances, but I saw him leave the office with her two weeks ago. They’ve been taking the same car home every night since.”
My chest burns as if it’s been set on fire. Cooper’s left the office with Layla. Cooper’s left the office with Layla in the same fucking car, every night.
Oh God… Did he fuck her in my bed?
I’m assaulted with hurt. Nausea kicks in. “God damn it, that son of a bitch better not have taken that whore to my house.”
I feel myself shake, rage burning in my veins and sending me into a tailspin of emotion. I try to calm myself down. He wouldn’t do that to you. He wouldn’t.
Cali’s eyes simmer with pity. I hate pity, but coming from her, it makes me feel better. She knows I’m stuck.
“It’s going to get better,” she says.
I don’t believe that anymore. I need him back. Every day, the reality of that happening slips further and further away. My hopelessness grows more defined with every passing minute. Suddenly I just want to go home, crawl into bed, and sleep until Cooper comes back for me. “I need to get home.”
“It’s getting late anyway,” she says, laying her hand on mine. “Just remember one thing, Coco. With every new day comes a new opportunity. Give it some more time. Don’t give up. If you two are meant to be, you’ll be.”
I look at my friend, thankful to have her in my life. “I love you, Cali girl.”
“I love you more.”
We link arms and walk back to the club entrance. I tell her I’ll call her in the morning, and we hop in separate taxis. Hers heads home, and mine goes to a place that’s slowly becoming more and more promising with every passing day. Grayson’s house holds no pain, just a man who promises to give me what I need. I try to remind myself that three weeks ago, I was ready to wait for Cooper forever. But now I wonder if he’ll ever be ready to forgive me and move on.
How long can I hold on to a dream that may be dead?
The reality of that thought is terrifying. I will myself to keep living in a bubble of false hope that at any time he could come back to me and bring me home. But Cali’s confession about Layla hangs heavy in my heart. Just weeks after I threw myself at him, he’s chosen someone else. He keeps saying he needs more time, and I guess I’m stupid enough to give him that.
I need a fix. Something to soothe this aching hole inside me. If Cooper has Layla, then I can have someone too… someone like Gray.
I’m thankful for th
e dark silence that greets me as I stumble through the front door. I’m really not in the mood to have Grayson watch me melt down. I need silence and privacy.
I head for the liquor cabinet, grab the whiskey, and take some slugs straight from the bottle. I’m sure I’ll pay for it in the morning, but right now, I really don’t care. I move to the kitchen and grab a glass. I set the booze on the granite countertop, fill the glass with water, and take a sip. My head feels muddled, but the warmth of the whiskey slowly works itself through my cells. I alternate between the two until I feel blissfully unaware of the information dropped on me tonight.
I shift my head, feeling a prickle coat my skin. Something on the refrigerator catches my eye. I tug the mystery item out from under a post card. It’s a picture of Cooper, Grayson, and me at a family barbeque two and a half years ago. My heart hammers, and pins and needles slash through me as I follow Cooper’s hand to my swollen belly. Air drains from my lungs as the image in front of me triggers a memory so intense I stumble back, hitting the counter.
“Kylie, I’m so sorry, but we have to take the baby now,” the nurse murmurs, her tone full of sadness and compassion.
I look at Kayla on my chest and start to shake. I hold her as tightly as I can without hurting her and lay my face on her head. “No, you can’t have her. Please, I’m not ready.”
She stares at me, tears in her eyes. I’m sure she doesn’t know what to do, but I’m not giving her my baby.
She’s mine.
“Okay, honey. How about a little more time then.”
I hoist Kayla up on my shoulder, laying her precious face in the crook of my neck, and I press mine against her cold skin. I close my eyes and breathe her in, whispering in her ear. I rub her back, loving her dead body without a thought of ever letting her go.
I open my eyes and see Cooper staring at me. He looks devastated. The nurse whispers something in his ear, and he grimaces, his eyes springing with tears. He nods and reaches for his phone, typing something. I clutch Kayla tighter. Unease slithers across my skin when he walks to me slowly, taking a deep breath.
Against All Odds Page 9
