The Hawk: Part Two

by Anna Scott Graham

  That evening, Eric called the Aherns, speaking to Sam. Lynne wasn’t up to attending mass with them in the morning, but she was feeling better, and the Snyders would love to host an impromptu lunch tomorrow when the Aherns were done with church. Sam asked Renee, who agreed. Lynne stood next to Eric during this call, and both cast happy, then wary, glances at each other.

  On the other end of the receiver, Sam and Renee shared the same kinds of gazes. They had discussed what might be causing Lynne’s ill health, and while neither had mentioned a baby, it ran through both of their minds. Eric’s somewhat ominous call stoked that idea, and by the time Sam and Renee were in bed, it was on the tips of their tongues. Yet, it remained unstated, for as Renee thought to herself, it could be anything else. And as Sam wondered, if Lynne was pregnant, what did that mean about Eric?

  The Aherns fell asleep, and said little about it in the morning, although Sam lamented not having time to fix something to take for lunch. Renee gently chided him, and they drove to mass in quiet. The service was long, a baptism taking place, during which Renee squeezed Sam’s hand, catching his eyes. He nodded, but still they said nothing.

  It wasn’t until they were halfway to the Snyders when Renee finally spoke. “Sam, what if Lynne’s….”

  He cleared his throat. “She might be. It’s all I can figure.”

  Renee nodded, then gripped his right hand. “If she is, oh my God.” Renee crossed herself, then sighed. Then she smiled. “If she is, I think that’s very good.”

  Sam glanced at her, then stared back at the road. “Yeah?”

  “Don’t you?”

  “Well….”

  Renee clucked. “Sam, I know what you’re thinking and….”

  “You know what I’m thinking?”

  “Well, I know you’re thinking about Eric.”

  Sam nodded, for that man was his main concern. Not that he didn’t care about Lynne, but Renee would consider Lynne enough for both Aherns. Renee would think about Eric, well, she already was, but it was in the context of her own husband, which Sam appreciated. “Honey, if Lynne’s….” Then Sam coughed. It was one thing to assume she was expecting a baby, but to say it? “If she is, then well, yeah, Eric, he, uh….” Sam smiled, taking his foot from the accelerator. He pulled to the side of the road, but didn’t stop the engine. Then he turned toward his wife. Renee’s teary face made his heart lurch. For several seconds, Sam prayed, asking God to let them also get lucky, for that was what had happened to the Snyders. They had been extremely blessed, and Sam hadn’t realized how deeply that desire still rested within him.

  As Renee sniffled back tears, Sam stroked her face, a plethora of emotions bubbling inside him. Mainly he was aroused, which made him roll his eyes, then he wondered what that meant. After all these years, he still wanted to do what Eric Snyder had probably done. Sam kissed Renee’s damp face, then embraced her over the gear box. She started to weep, but the sound wasn’t painful. It was similar to the sentiments Sam felt at that moment, pleasure for others, with a small hint of what if? What if Sam hadn’t been injured, what if he and Renee had conceived before he left for Korea, what if…. “I love you honey,” he whispered. “I love you so much Renee.”

  She nodded, then kissed him. Sam ached for her, then Renee pulled away. “Sam, it’s a quiet road, there’s no one here.”

  Her smile was naughty, then she blushed. “I know someone could drive past, but the chances are slim and you’re….” She giggled, setting her hand on the front of his trousers. “Sam, please?”

  Killing the engine, he grinned, feeling seventeen years old. “I love you baby, yeah, let’s.”

  She kept giggling as she got into the back seat. Sam retrieved some blankets from the trunk, then laid one over the seat. The other was placed around Renee’s shoulders, which to Sam’s great joy were bare. In fact, Renee was completely naked, and he laughed, wondering how she had managed that so quickly. Moments later, he wasn’t thinking about anything but how good she felt, even in the back seat of their car. Then he only considered how fantastic he felt, as she mumbled very intimate notions, which led to Sam’s release.

  By lunchtime, Lynne was feeling mostly well. She had kept down breakfast, and Eric was preparing steaks, which he had pulled from the freezer. She had fixed a green salad, and while the fare would be minimal, perhaps that would ease their news. She wondered if the Aherns were late due to guessing the reason for this invitation, or maybe church had run long. Lynne was on the patio when she heard Sam’s car outside the gate, and she called for Eric, who had gone back in the house. He returned, then gripped her hand, and together they walked toward the front wall.

  Sam and Renee stepped through, looking somewhat disheveled, but not displeased. “Well hello,” Sam said with a laugh. “Sorry we’re late, church took forever.”

  The men shook hands while the women embraced. Lynne had never seen Renee looking so flushed. “There was a baptism,” Renee smiled. “Sometimes they take ages.”

  A hint of bile crept up Lynne’s throat, but she forced it back down. “Well you’re here, and that’s all that matters.”

  Renee nodded, then grew solemn. Then she grasped Lynne’s hands. “We are, and you’re looking better.”

  Lynne couldn’t speak, but she gave a small smile. Then Renee stroked Lynne’s face. “Are you?” Renee started, but couldn’t finish.

  “Oh my goodness Renee, yes!” Lynne trembled as the words tumbled forth. Renee clutched Lynne, and both women broke into sobs. All Lynne could see was Sam in Eric’s arms, while Renee continued to cry, gripping Lynne with all her might.

  They walked to the patio arm in arm, conversation shared between them. The Aherns expressed sincere happiness, the Snyders conveying their grateful appreciation. Details were then noted, that Lynne had seen Dr. Salters that week, and while they were still waiting for the test results, all felt that yes, Lynne was expecting a baby, probably due in mid to late March. Renee cried again, but her tears were joyful, as was her tone. “That is so wonderful, oh my goodness.” She wiped her face, then laughed. “If someone was seeking a miracle, this has to be high on the list.”

  Eric chuckled. “I fully agree. But I think we need to thank you both for your divine intercessions.”

  Lynne stood beside her husband, but she gazed at Sam. “We have so much to thank you for….”

  Sam shook his head. “Just seeing you together, and with this news.” Then he laughed. “Really, this’s the best thing you could’ve said.”

  “Are you sure?” Lynne asked softly.

  Sam stepped her way, reaching for her hand. Then he placed Eric’s on Lynne’s, grasping both of them in his own. “Of course it is. Aside from God’s grace, this’s the most beautiful gift in the world.”

  Renee joined them. “He’s absolutely right. It really is.”

  Lynne nodded, and Eric did too. “We weren’t sure how to tell you, I mean….” Then Eric smiled. “But we couldn’t hide it anymore, Lynne’s just too darn sick.”

  “How’re you feeling now?” Renee’s tone turned professional.

  “So much better,” Lynne squeaked. Then she shook her head. “Actually, I need to….” She turned for the French doors, then ran into the house. Renee followed, leaving the men chuckling on the patio.

  The initial awkward moments were swept aside by many good feelings. After lunch, the women drifted into the kitchen, while the men stepped into the garden. Eric again showed Sam the land that he wanted cleared next spring, and perhaps some additional acreage past the studio, for a proper storage building. Sam didn’t ask specific details, still considering the biggest news; he accepted that Eric and Lynne were hoping for more than one child. Then Sam wondered if Lynne would be that forthcoming with Renee, but maybe Lynne wasn’t that optimistic. Eric certainly was, for he mentioned that they would probably tell Stanford Taylor when he visited in two weeks’ time. “I’ll need a good excuse to miss the October exhibit,” Eric joked. “If this doesn’t satisfy him, too bad.”
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  Then Sam realized there was no one else for Eric and Lynne to inform. Sam looked forward to telling his sister, but Frannie hadn’t met Lynne, only Eric. Sam smiled, then sighed, which caught Eric’s attention. Sam wasn’t sure what bothered him, certainly not that the Snyders were having a baby. They were so solitary, but maybe Sam was used to loads of relatives hovering nearby.

  “She wants to have the baby here,” Eric said, gazing past the studio. Then he looked at Sam. “Of course, that’s a long ways off, but if there aren’t any problems, she’d like Renee to be there, along with Dr. Salters, and I’ll be there.” Then Eric chuckled. “And we’ll need someone close, making the custard.”

  Sam blushed, then shrugged. “Well, if she’s not too noisy, we’ll see.”

  Eric laughed. “She’d known, or suspected it, for a few weeks, but didn’t say anything. I had to bring it up.”

  “How did you know?” Sam was curious, then he shook his head. “That was rude of me.”

  “I’ve painted her enough to know when, well, when something changes.” Eric took a deep breath, then gazed at the house. “I’d been hoping, you know, that since my foot healed, maybe something else would too. She always blamed herself, but it was never her fault, so maybe last year was worth it. Not that I wanna go through something like that again, but Sam, honest to God, I’d do it again, I mean….”

  A long pause emerged, then Eric sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up.”

  Sam inhaled deeply, then looked around the garden. He could still recall Eric in the thicket, appearing not at all like a man, or even a bird, but some otherworldly creature that if Sam hadn’t witnessed in person, he would never have imagined possible. “Renee and I talked about this, on the way over.” Sam hid his smile, then cleared his throat. “We’d been thinking that maybe Lynne was…. But we hadn’t said it to each other. I watched that baby being baptized this morning, and all I did was pray for you and Lynne. Renee and I can’t, I mean, it’s just not possible, but for you guys….”

  Eric stepped in front of Sam. “Nothing’s impossible Sam.”

  Sam shivered. “Well, okay, but Eric, your foot, I mean….” Sam wanted to speak openly, but both of these issues required delicacy. He wasn’t sure which was more awkward to broach, then he smiled. “Yes, you’re absolutely right, nothing’s impossible with God. But some things are more, well, improbable.”

  “Sam, what’s more strange, what happens to me or that….”

  “Eric!” Renee’s voice carried across the yard. “There’s a phone call for you, from Mr. Taylor.”

  Eric smiled, and Sam did too. “Tell him I’ll be right there,” Eric hollered.

  “Okay!”

  “Well, Mr. Taylor awaits.” Eric turned for the path, and Sam followed him, wondering if Stanford had heard Renee’s deference, and if Eric would spill the beans. Then Sam said a prayer, asking God to look after Lynne, but Sam didn’t include anything about himself and Renee.

  Eric didn’t tell Stanford that Lynne was pregnant. Stanford only wanted to know if another guest could be included; his father Michael was interested in seeing where Eric worked, and while Eric was pleased for another visitor, he inwardly lamented that the elder Taylor’s presence would probably preclude anything being admitted about Stanford and Lawrence. Eric asked if Mrs. Taylor would be joining them, but Stanford said no, and didn’t elaborate. Eric heard something else in Stanford’s tone, yet Stanford was eager to end the call, apologizing for interrupting the luncheon. Eric didn’t say anything about that to the Aherns, but would tell Lynne, after Sam and Renee had left.

  All were surprised that Stanford’s father wanted to travel to this small town, but Eric conceded that after the October show, his stature in the art world would alter dramatically. Yet, he wasn’t overly concerned about it, for something else took precedence. He sat beside Lynne on the sofa, putting his arm around her. Renee sat on Lynne’s other side, Sam in the recliner, and all took inquisitive breaths. Then Eric chuckled. “So, shall I show you what I’ve been working on?”

  Lynne nearly jumped. “Eric, you can’t be serious!”

  Eric laughed. “I can show them the one in progress.” He stood, then motioned to the sunroom. “I’ve been painting my wife’s primary task over the last few weeks.”

  Renee shook her head, as Sam squirmed. “Uh, really Eric, I think it’s okay.”

  “C’mon, be brave Samuel. You too Renee. I’m sure Lynne’s told you she wants to have the baby here at home, with you at her side.”

  Renee rolled her eyes. “Eric Snyder, for goodness sakes, have some modesty!”

  “How can I Renee? I’m a heathen, remember?” Eric held out his hand to her. “Please, I promise you won’t blush too much.”

  Renee stood, as Lynne giggled. “Go on Renee, he’s just teasing. Sam, you too. It’s nothing awful.”

  Sam flinched until Renee nearly hauled him from the chair. “If I’m seeing it, you can too.”

  Sam put a hand over his eyes. “I’ll be scarred for life, I’m sure.”

  “Hey now,” Lynne complained, with a smile in her voice. “It’s not that bad.”

  Eric led them into the sunroom. “I’ll probably have more of her like this than nude by the end of it.” He stood back, as Renee slowly approached the canvas. Then she gasped, which made Sam immediately remove the hand from his face. “Oh goodness Eric, it’s beautiful!”

  Sam nodded, staring at the sleeping woman. Then he gazed at Lynne, who embraced her husband. Sam smiled at her, then returned to study the painting, which seemed nearly completed, and so peaceful. It reminded him of the horses gathered in the meadow, then he wondered who had bought that picture. Then Sam looked at Eric, who nodded. When he’d painted those horses, was he thinking of what now was their reality? Lynne was indeed expecting a baby; Sam discerned that from her clingy nature, also from Eric’s possessive hold. And as Sam returned to the painting, from how Eric depicted his wife, casually sleeping on first glance. But the longer Sam stared at the canvas, he noted how restful was Lynne’s slumber, and how it wasn’t at all solitary. Was that from her smile, or just that Eric managed to convey how no longer was his wife a single entity.

  And how had Eric done that? Probably the same way he had painted the barn that hung on Sam’s wall, a magical edifice, Sam allowed. That structure was a mirror into the soul of whomever gazed at it, but how in the world had Eric constructed it? Was it the same sort of miracle that Sam acknowledged when he came home from Korea, or how Eric had turned back into a man, or his healed left foot? What about Eric’s…. Sam trembled, then he ached to speak honestly with his brother, for somehow that was another phenomenon; Sam had a brother who wasn’t Catholic, but who was just as tightly bound to Sam as his blood siblings were. For a time they had shared another bond, but no longer was Eric unable to give his wife God’s greatest corporeal treasure. Faith was separate from what humans could actively achieve, or most human beings. But Sam didn’t feel less of a man, that wasn’t what any of Eric’s paintings conveyed. They implied possibilities, endless opportunities. That barn could mean anything to anyone.

  To Sam it meant himself and Renee and…ponies, for children. But Sam and Renee couldn’t have children, although now Eric and Lynne could. And Sam was thrilled for them, and in how Renee had started to cry, she was too. They would talk about this, perhaps as soon as they got in the car. Or maybe they would wait until they were home, or maybe Sam would think about it, and find himself able to make love to his wife, and again he would stop the car and…. He laughed, as Renee continued to weep. Why did the idea of procreation stir Sam, and why had he thought about ponies in that barn?

  “I think that’s one of the most gorgeous poses you’ve ever struck Lynne.” Sam smiled at her, then he glanced at Eric. “And I agree, I think you’ll be painting lots of similar scenes, at least for the next few months. Just don’t paint one of her kneeling in the bathroom. She might not want another if you remind her of these early days.”


  Tremendous optimism flooded Sam Ahern, then he laughed out loud. He hadn’t felt this hopeful since the day Renee agreed to marry him. Not even during their wedding had he realized such assurance; that day was marked by extreme nervousness and overwhelming religious inviolability. Yet, this was just as blessed, for from marriage came forth children, usually. Sam gripped Renee, who still wept. He kissed her head, then smiled. “I see several series ahead of you Eric, either of Lynne fast asleep, or Lynne wishing she was napping. Or you wishing she was baking, but both of you will be too busy for pies. Guess I’ll have to start sharpening my pastry skills if we’re ever to have proper dessert again.”

  Renee wailed louder, but Sam wasn’t worried. Something was being released in her cries, and it wasn’t all from her. He wrapped her close, to shield her, for he knew how badly she ached, yet, she needed to expel this, even if it was in front of Eric and Lynne. What did it matter now, for Sam had tended to Eric when that man wasn’t even a man, and next spring Renee would minister to Lynne in her most compromised moment. But the situations, while somewhat tenuous, weren’t bad; they were about new life springing forth, wounds being healed. Occasionally pain was involved, but ultimately those aching memories were set aside by the joy of what had been transformed. Eric had suffered immensely, Lynne would too. Sam could sense Renee’s agony, similar to how he’d felt on the battlefield, and as with every dying man he had held in his arms. Was all their pain akin to Mary, cradling her dead son, Sam wondered. Maybe, for while Mary was mother to a savior, Jesus had also been her human offspring. Perhaps she’d had no idea of his divinity, or maybe Sam had it all wrong.

  But in that moment, he grasped the barest edges of why Christ had come at all, to ease the torment, to give new life. In that room, a new creation was forming. As Renee started to calm, Sam stepped toward Eric and Lynne. Sam stroked Lynne’s cheek, then he gestured for Eric to take Renee. Then Sam embraced Lynne, whispering something only for them. She nodded, then began crying profusely. Sam hadn’t wanted to stir her tears, but maybe the soul could respond in no other fashion. As he comforted Lynne, Sam stared at her image on the canvas. Then he gazed at Eric, who nodded his head.

  Chapter 34