Reaching His Heart

by Tressie Lockwood

  “When I was a child, my dad used to come home drunk pretty often. He was angry and looking to take it out on someone. Usually, it was my mother.”

  He made no sound at all, but she was sure he listened.

  “On stormy nights it was worse.” Pain tightened the muscles in her chest.

  “How?”

  “My mother would tell my sister and me to get into the closet and stay there until she came to get us. We could hear though. All the shouting and dishes breaking. But on stormy nights, I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t tell if that was the night he would come and find us. Every time the thunder cracked, I thought it was his heavy step. Or if the slit beneath the door lit up from the lightning, I was convinced that shifting shadow was him.”

  “Come here.”

  “What?” She squinted in the darkness and sniffed. That’s when she realized she had started to cry. She always did when she talked about her family, but she had forgotten that in the midst of dealing with the storm.

  She scrubbed an arm over her face and looked away from Cason.

  “Come over here, Solette,” he insisted, not with the least amount of compassion. “I will make you feel better.”

  “I’m sure I’ll be fine.” But she slipped off the chair and approached him. Maybe just for a minute to feel his strong arms around her. He leaned against the headboard, and she tucked into a spot beside him. His left arm encircled her, and he didn’t wait for an invitation but dipped his head and captured her mouth with his own. She told herself no, but parted her lips right away. His tongue slipped inside, and she clutched the front of his T-shirt.

  “I’m still a man,” he said in a low rumbling when he released her.

  She swallowed. “I know.”

  “Then?”

  She longed to run away and to stay right there. One word. One gentle word, and she would melt into his embrace. Why was she so soft?

  “I can say nice words like I used to.” The man read her mind. “But if you stay, you can do it because you wanted to. I know I can make you feel good even though—”

  She kissed him, smothering his words and slid a hand over his chest, feeling the scars but actually turned on by them. She peppered his warm skin with small caresses. He tasted good, and she liked the rhythm of his heartbeat as it pounded beneath her palms.

  “I know you can make me feel good,” she said. “We shouldn’t.”

  Blue eyes glittered in the dim lighting that peeked through the window. “Is that your last ditch effort to resist?”

  “You’re impossible, Cason.”

  “Impossible to deny.” His voice dropped to a dangerous low. “Come closer and let me show you what I can do.”

  * * *

  “Mommmm.”

  Solette opened her eyes, looked down at herself, and panicked. She didn’t have a stitch on under the sheets, and she was still lying in Cason’s bed. What in the world had she done? Just because of a stupid storm? Her career was over. Her prospects for the future were dim. Once the agency that she worked through found out she’d slept with her patient, they would probably spread the word. They might even do everything in their power to get her license revoked.

  “Oh no, oh no, oh no,” she whispered and rolled over to bump into Cason. He lay on his back, eyes shut, and his long lashes brushed flushed cheeks. She reached out to touch his forehead but paused to take him in. His chest was bare because the sheets had slid down to his waist. She recalled how slow they had taken their lovemaking and how gently it had been because of Cason’s condition. It was good—really good. As much as she regretted her weakness she wouldn’t forget it.

  She traced a finger over one of the scars on his chest. Cason had a rugged and dangerous look to him that he hadn’t had before. She’d seen pictures. Before the accident, he was a playboy, always smiling. Now, he frowned more often than not or simply offered a cold stare. She didn’t imagine after their night in each other’s arms, he would change. If he woke and made some cruel comment, it would hurt her.

  She touched his head and found he was only slightly warm. A quick check of his pulse found it steady, so she climbed over him and snatched up her nightgown. At the door, she listened to see if she heard anything. The call for “Mom” hadn’t been repeated, and she began to think she’d just dreamed it. Maybe if she hurried to her room, no one would be the wiser about her night’s activities. She eased the doorknob to the left.

  “Slinking away in shame?”

  She jumped but didn’t turn around. Cason didn’t speak again, and instead of facing him, she did exactly what he claimed she was doing. She slunk back to her room. The only positive thing that came out of her foolishness was that no one caught her before she made it to safety.

  Solette spent the rest of the morning hiding in her room after she made sure Joseph ate with the family as had been arranged. She knew she’d have to show her face at some point, but she hoped Cason would somehow not need her that day. Then she could spend the rest of the time trying to get her mind together.

  Unfortunately, close to lunchtime, someone knocked on the door, and without waiting for an answer, Joseph stuck his head in the door. “Mom, are you going to hide in here all day?”

  She frowned at him. “No one’s hiding.”

  He shrugged and walked into the room, leaving the door wide open. Kids! “Joe, close the door.”

  “Joseph, Mom. And we’re going anyway.”

  “Going where?”

  “Mr. Cason wants us to have lunch with him.”

  Her stomach dropped. “We?”

  “Yup, we’re going to eat in a room that he says has a secret passage to the second floor and then up to the secret third level.”

  “Joseph, I’ve never noticed a third level to the mansion. Is it invisible?”

  “Mom, be serious.” He looked at her as if she had challenge written on her forehead.

  “Well, it sounds like he’s more willing to come out of his room today.” Goodness, had her sleeping with him brought on that much willingness to live? She had no idea her hoohoo had so much power. Guilt again washed over her. This was no time to joke about her situation. Cason probably didn’t call her to have lunch with him to shame her about unprofessional conduct. He wouldn’t bring the subject up at all in front of Joseph, would he? She wasn’t so sure.

  “Come on, Mom. I’m hungry.”

  She sighed and stood to slip her shoes on. “You ate breakfast, didn’t you?”

  “Forever ago. A growing man needs food.”

  “Man, huh? Whatever. Come on.”

  She led the way out into the hall, smoothing the dress she wore down over her legs. When they reached the dining room on the first floor, where Joseph said they would find Cason, she drew in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Voices reached her from beyond the door, one feminine one raised above the deeper male voice. All of a sudden, Solette began to wonder if this lunch date wasn’t about her at all or the influence she may or may not have had on Cason.

  The woman seated next to Cason with a slender pale hand lying over his was beautiful beyond reason. Her long blonde hair lay in soft waves as it framed a beautiful face with big green eyes and pouty collagen-filled pouty lips. The woman released a laugh that was so smooth it was almost musical.

  “Oh, Cason, you’ve gotten so mean,” she teased, and poked a pink lower lip out. “But I’m glad you let me come over today. I’ve been calling you for months, and today is the first time you actually got on the phone.”

  Cason turned from the woman and watched as Solette entered the room. She could read nothing from his expression. “That’s because I was dealing with a little problem like almost dying.”

  “Cason!” The blonde’s cheeks reddened.

  “Oh, you have a guest,” Solette said. “We’ll just—”

  “Bambi, this is my nurse Solette and her son Joseph. Come and sit down,” he ordered. “You’re late.”

  Solette almost choked and patted her chest. Bambi? Is she serious? Solette
had another look at the woman. The nickname fit—it couldn’t possibly be her real name, could it? “I wouldn’t want to get in the way. Joseph keeps talking about some ridiculous secret level in the mansion.”

  At the moment, her son was checking behind every curtain and going so far as to knock on parts of the wall. She glared at him and signaled for him to get back to the table.

  “It’s true. Tell her, Mr. Cason. My mom never takes me seriously. Wait until I’m president. Then she’ll want me to pass laws for her and use the secret service to go to the corner store.”

  Solette pressed a finger to her temple and shut her eyes.

  Bambi burst out laughing. “Oh, he is precious. I just love kids, don’t you, Cason?”

  “Joseph is interesting.”

  His emphasis on her son’s name made Solette open her eyes. He was still watching her. She had no choice but to settle down at the table and shake out the cloth napkin provided. The table had already been set, but the place settings were only for four people. Apparently, the rest of the family were either having lunch in the usual dining room or weren’t available. That surprised her given Ezio had ordered that one of her responsibilities was to get Cason out of his room and into attendance at family meals. Of course, the family usually only ate all together at dinner and sometimes during breakfast, from what she’d been told.

  Solette’s spot had been set across the table from Cason with Joseph at her side. Bambi continued to lean in close to Cason as if they were the only ones at the table. A maid entered the room and began offering a choice between Tortellini Salad with bacon and broccoli, and broiled strip steak sandwiches on French bread. Solette went with the salad, figuring it was healthier despite the bacon.

  They began eating, and Solette squirmed a little in her seat, feeling Cason’s gaze on her. He tapped a finger on the table in a slow cadence. “You should be over here in case I need help.”

  She focused on her salad. “I’m sure Bambi can help if you have trouble.”

  “You were helpful last night. I thought you wouldn’t have a problem doing the same today.”

  She froze and then pulled herself together. He wouldn’t goad her into giving their secret away. Pinning him with a pleasant half-smile, she said, “I’m your nurse. Of course, I’m always happy to help you, Mr. Cason, but I wouldn’t be a very good nurse if I didn’t encourage you to take every opportunity to strengthen your hand and do things on your own.”

  “Mr. Cason?”

  She pressed her lips together. Bambi didn’t appear to like being left out of the conversation, especially because of the hired help no doubt. “You look good to me, Cason. I bet you’re able to do everything we used to. Why don’t we forget lunch and go see for ourselves?”

  Solette dropped her fork on the floor. Joseph’s eyes grew round. “Mom, do you think—”

  She pointed at her son. “Not one word, Joe. Mr. Cason, having lunch with your and your guest doesn’t seem like a great idea at the moment—certainly not for my son.”

  She scraped her chair back, but Cason interrupted. “You stay. Bambi, watch your mouth or go home.”

  The blonde gasped. “I can’t believe you’re defending rude staff, Cason. Before your accident, you never would have done such a thing.”

  “I find it interesting,” he said with a chill rolling off his words, “that you use every opportunity to bring up the subject of my accident. Are you here to remind me how I should have married you when I had the chance?”

  She let out a small squeak. “Of course not. I care for you. You know that, Cason, and I’m surprised you would ever question my affection.”

  Solette was still standing. Cason gave her a look that said she’d be better off sitting down than dealing with the drama he would raise if she went against his wishes. She looked at Joseph and found he had grabbed the excuse to go back to looking for the secret passage. She didn’t have the energy or the will to get onto him. At least he was out of direct earshot of Bambi.

  Bambi turned to Solette. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to offend you or your son. See, my Cason and me have been on and off forever. We’re pretty much engaged.”

  Cason grumbled.

  “And I know how to deal with him after so long,” she bragged. “This meanness is new. I have to admit I’m a little thrown.”

  Solette sat in shocked silence. All that stuff about Cason asking if she was involved, and he was engaged, or at least Bambi thought they were. If she thought that and it wasn’t true, he wasn’t clear with her about where they stood.

  The maid brought Solette a new fork, but she didn’t bother to use it. “I wish you a happy life, Ms. Bambi and Mr. Cason. If you’ll excuse me, I don’t have much of an appetite.”

  This time, she pushed her chair back and didn’t bother to listen to Cason’s order to sit down. Looking over to where she’d seen Joseph last, she didn’t see him, so she figured he had already left the room to go play with Catarina. Solette had every intention of returning to her room and staying there the rest of the day no matter what anyone said. As far as she was concerned, Bambi could give Cason a sponge bath and administer his meds. One of the staff could help him out of his chair and leave her be.

  She reached the foot of the stairs as Goro was descending from the second floor. A clipped command in Italian sounded from somewhere behind her, and Goro stepped from the opposite side of the stairs to where she stood and blocked her path. He held out a hand palm up as if he were a waiter ushering her to a table.

  The whir of Cason’s chair grew steadily closer. She sighed.

  “Solette.” He sounded angry. She wasn’t surprised. “You’re causing my food to get cold.”

  She spun around. “Mr. Cason, I’m sorry. I have my duties, and I understand that, but I agreed to certain hours. We’re beyond them. I’m going home. I will see you on Monday if I still have a job. Have a good day!”

  He reached for her, but she ran around Goro and darted up the steps. Her work kept her in good shape, and her past honed her reflexes. Before either man could catch her, she was in her room with the door locked. Even if she had to go back to working in a drug store the way she did when she was in college, so be it. Things always worked out in the end.

  Chapter 7

  Cason had screwed up. He knew that. His favorite thing to do before his accident was to poke fun at people and push to see how far he could take them. After the accident, he couldn’t lift his mood enough not to be mean. Common sense should have told him to take it easier with Solette. Now, as he watched her heading for the front door with her son reluctantly in tow, sharp regret rolled through him.

  She was something different than he’d ever met before. He didn’t know why and refused to explore it, but he wanted to play with her some more. No, that was more of his meanness. He wanted her around…for…whatever they decided to do.

  Thoughts of their night in bed ran through his mind. He’d enjoyed himself, but his physical limitations had driven him nuts. If he could move the way he wanted, he might show her a few things she had never experienced. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to give rehabilitation a real try. If he could walk on his own, he could show her pleasure that would blow her mind.

  Am I seriously thinking about fighting to walk for a plain little mouse?

  She stopped just inside the front door and was talking with Ezio. A hand rose to her hair, and she gestured a tad bit frantically as she spoke. Cason let his gaze slip down over her form. He focused on her curvy rear and imagined having the strength to stand behind her. He could almost see the way she’d tremble for him. He’d rest heavy hands on her shoulders and drag her back to his chest before stealing several kisses from her lips. Who would have thought he would enjoy kissing a black woman so much? Solette’s mouth was so sweet he almost forgot his pain.

  He rolled his wheelchair forward and then stopped. No, he wouldn’t force her to stay. Let her run. She might even feel sorry for herself, thinking what Bambi said was true—that he wasn�
�t available. On Monday, he would straighten her out, and he definitely wouldn’t allow Ezio to fire her.

  * * *

  It took effort, and Cason had to depend on his family and staff to get through the weekend, but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before. The problem was the hours dragged on. He wanted to see Solette, to tease her.

  To get her in my bed.

  He chuckled under his breath.

  “Wow, I never thought I’d see that,” Romy said, walking into his room on Sunday. Cason kicked himself for his lapse. He didn’t want his family knowing about his plans, so he had to remain as hopeless looking as possible until he had a chance to speak with Solette.

  “Why are you here?” Cason growled. “Haven’t you heard of knocking?”

  Romy grinned. “Don’t worry, fratellino. I won’t tell anyone what I saw.”

  Cason pinched his lips together and refused to respond. He realized he must look like a recalcitrant child, but he didn’t care at the moment.

  Romy leaned over and kissed him on the top of the head and dropped onto Cason’s bed. His oldest brother grasped his left hand and held onto it for a while. “Your color is better, and the look in your eyes is less desperate. What is it that’s given you new life?”

  Cason faced the window. He tried pulling his hand from Romy’s, but Romy refused to let go. Cason wasn’t embarrassed by the open affection. Affection came naturally to his people. He didn’t want Romy reading him so easily.

  Romy leaned closer and lowered his voice. “Is it the nurse?”

  Cason stiffened.

  His brother’s eyes glittered with amusement, and then he straightened. “I saw an interesting sight the other night. No, don’t get all worked up. I don’t plan on telling Ezio. You and I both know how our brother is. I’m just asking you to be careful, Cason. I have a feeling this woman is different than the ones you used to toy with. She’s more sensitive, and if a person can look past their own situation they might see in her eyes that she’s been through something.”