Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight

by Laura Edwards

  He shivers slightly and looks around my pitiful little room again, then back at me.

  "Didn't have you pegged as the sort of girl who liked slumming it. Whatever happened to Louise the diva? She wouldn’t be seen dead in a hole like this."

  I bite my lip, feeling deflated all of a sudden.

  "Who cares? All I need is a bed and somewhere to put my clothes."

  He narrows his eyes.

  "It seems like you don't care about anything right now."

  I hate how disappointed he sounds. He has no right to judge me.

  "Got it in one. Let me guess, my room offends you because you are in some five bedroomed castle or something. Perhaps the ‘oh so posh’ academy school you went to offered to pay for your digs at college as well? The amount of money they used to spend on you for competitions and hotels, it wouldn't surprise me."

  He does a low throaty chuckle.

  "You are wrong I’m afraid. It’s only got two bedrooms and my parents pay for it, not the academy."

  He smirks, happy that he has put me right. I go cold when he utters the word parents. Of course he still has his perfect parents in his perfect life. My insides turn ice cold, as they always do when I think about what I’ve lost. He notices my reaction. He raises an eyebrow, the self-satisfied smirk fading from his face.

  "Uh…. Are you….are you OK?”

  I shudder.

  "No. Can you go now? Please?”

  He stands up, and just for a second, I think he is going to listen to me for once and leave. Instead , he starts nosing around my room. The cheek of it. He picks up a paper I left by the window earlier, frowning as he reads.

  "Why have you circled a load of jobs?"

  I stay sitting on the bed, staring at the space he had just been sitting.

  "How have you got through life not knowing basic things Drew? When someone circles jobs in a paper, it’s usually an indication that they are searching for a job… But wait, I apologise. You aren't to know that people actually have to work because your Mommy and Daddy are so rich. You don’t know what a days work is."

  He rolls his eyes and picks up the paper. He comes over, sitting on the bed beside me.

  "Have you applied for any of these jobs yet?"

  I nod, surprised that he is grilling me about this.

  "All of them."

  "Have you heard anything back?"

  His voice is soft and gentle. It unsettles me.

  "They have all turned me down. Maybe if I get really desperate, I will do the whole selling my body thing. I mean, you did call me a prostitute last time we were together so…."

  I trail off. I have no idea why I needed to bring that up. Maybe I just liked humiliating myself.

  "Louise. Don't."

  I glance at him. He looks sad for me if I am not mistaken. His eyes hold unmistakable pity. He feels sorry for me. Brilliant.

  “My Dad is hiring at the moment but… it's probably not something you would want to do …. It's not your sort of job."

  "I just made a joke about selling my body. I’m pretty sure I will do anything. What sort of job?”

  He looks uncomfortable and take a good minute to answer me.

  "It’s a cleaning job."

  "Sounds perfect. Where can I apply?"

  Work is work. I could easily do a bit of cleaning. He seems surprised by how keen I am but I need to get the ball rolling. My savings are never going to last me in NYC. I have to be earning.

  "I’m honestly not sure this is your sort of thing Louise. I shouldn't have said anything."

  Why was he being so up and down?

  "Don't be ridiculous. I’m not such a diva I won’t get my hands dirty. I need work, your Dad is hiring…..what’s the problem? Why would you tell me about it if you don’t want me to actually do it?"

  "It’s just…..He owns a chain of stripper clubs."

  His cheeks turn pink and he picks at my frayed bed cover, not wanting to look me in the eye. I can see this is embarrassing for him.

  "So you would have to clean before the club opens, sometimes even after. Obviously in your case the club is just a few blocks away. It’s not breaking the law because you won’t be serving alcohol, just cleaning. It’s a seedy world, it’s not for you.”

  The fact I would be cleaning in a strip club made no difference to me. I just needed the work.

  "Can I have his number? Or do I apply some other way? Please Drew….I need the money.”

  He reluctantly grabs a pen from my bag, takes my hand and scribbles his Dads number on my palm.

  "Tell him I put you forward. If you need a job that much, it’s yours if he hears my name."

  I smile at him. It’s my first genuine smile in a long time.

  "Thank you." I say quietly.

  We sit in silence for a few minutes. He looks around my room, I can tell that something is bothering him. Finally, he speaks.

  "What's going on with you? Last time I saw you, you sparkled. You were a diva, but a good diva. Now it seems like you’ve faded. Something is missing. Something has gone."

  He couldn’t know how right he was. Again, the ice cold feeling spreads over my body.

  "And you can tell all that from meeting me once?"

  "Of course I can. You were alive Louise. You were living. You were passionate. Now, you are all…. I don't know. You are on a downer. You are even dressing different. You don't strike me as a jeans and jumper kind of girl. And your hair is a mess."

  I shoot him a filthy look. Wow, he really knew how to cheer a girl up.

  "I'm not one of your girls Drew. You can't expect me to dress up in little skirts and next to nothing tops with my hair immaculately groomed just in case I bump into you. I didn't even know you would be at this stupid place. I am so sorry that me being so horrendous is causing you to feel uncomfortable, but you know where the door is, I have been trying to make you disappear since we met. "

  He frowns and reaches over to touch my leg. He obviously thinks better of it and moves his hand away.

  "You've never looked as beautiful as you do right now."

  The words come out in a rush. He looks as shocked as I feel. He stands up quickly, clearing his throat.

  "Urm… well…. I’m going now so you get your own way. Ring my Dad and see what he's got for you. But I meant what I said earlier, I'm not going anywhere. At least not until I have made you feel great about yourself."

  I scowl at him. I know exactly what he means by that.

  " And trust me, you will feel great with me inside you."

  "Yes Drew. Charming as ever."

  I walk over and open the door to get rid of him faster. As he leaves, he flashes me a huge smile. I must admit, it turns my legs to jelly.

  "See you tomorrow baby."

  "Can't wait." I mutter sarcastically.

  His smile remains the same, despite my lack of enthusiasm.

  "Thanks for helping with the whole job thing."

  I look down at the floor, feeling embarrassed. I’m not sure why.

  "No worries. You can repay me in kind."

  "Never going to happen."

  On that note, I slam the door hard, needing him to go away now. If only he didn’t talk filth all the time, he would probably be bearable.

  An hour later, I nervously phone Drews Dad to see about the job. As soon as I mention Drew put me forward, he tells me the job is mine and to go to the club tomorrow at seven pm. I cringe when he mentions the name of the club. ‘Lacy Lolas’. He owns a whole chain of them. No wonder Drew looked embarrassed earlier when he was talking about it.

  I go to bed early that night after rooting out an old leotard and jogging bottoms for the dance class tomorrow.

  Just like every night for the last few months, I eat a forkful of pasta before I throw the rest in the bin. Hunger never registers with me anymore. I just felt nothing these days.

  But I had to admit, that night as I try to fall asleep, there was one person edging thoughts of my parents away for the first time
in months. Drew Evans.

  Chapter Seven - Louise

  The next day at NYSSA was much the same as the day before. I put a bit more effort in this time, but my dance teacher Amber still hated me, I still got told off for not putting any passion into my singing, I still sat by myself at lunch and Drew still kept making disgusting suggestions all through the day whenever I saw him.

  And to top it all off, I had to go and work at a lap dancing club tonight. If only my parents knew the mess they had left me in.

  When I get back to my room after a long day at NYSSA, I have a look through my pitiful clothes collection.

  What did people even wear to cleaning jobs? Nobody had suggested a uniform. In the end, I settle for some black trousers that were years old, with a grey long-sleeved top and tie my hair back into a neat pony tail. I hoped he would at least give me an apron or something, I didn't want to ruin what clothes I did have with cleaning chemicals.

  By six pm, I decide I had better eat some dinner. I knew I was at my lowest weight I ever had been and that I needed to sort myself out. But as hard as I tried to want to eat something, I could only manage a banana.

  I decided to set off at about six forty pm, Lacy Lolas was about five blocks away, and I wanted to be there in good time.

  As I open my dorm room door, I gasp jumping back in shock. Drew Evans was standing there, his hand raised to the door about to knock. He was wearing casual cut-off jeans and a light sky blue shirt, his black curly hair looked shiny as ever and his giant hazel brown eyes sparkled. Simply put, he looked like a sex god. My belly gave a little flutter as I stared at him, my mouth still wide with shock.

  "Drew Wha- What are you doing here? You scared me."

  He does that sexy grin, the one I was fast becoming used to.

  "I am here to walk you to your new job of course."

  He checks his black wrist watch.

  "We do have time for a quickie, just so you know."

  I roll my eyes as I exit my small dorm room, shutting the door firmly behind me.

  "Do you ever think of anything else? I don't need you walking me anywhere. I appreciate the help with getting me this job, but you are not needed now."

  To my annoyance, he grabs my hand as we walk down the stairs.

  "It doesn't matter what you say, I came here to walk you to the job, and I won't be leaving until you are safely at the venue."

  I lift our interlocked hands up.

  "Is the hand holding really necessary?"

  "Yes" Is all he says as we walk out into the chilly night air.

  Silence engulfs us as we pass one block, then two. Eventually, he clears his throat to speak. He seems more nervous than me.

  "So, Are you ready for this?"

  I look at him questioningly.

  "I'm not afraid of hard work Drew. I don't particularly want to do it, but we all have to do things we don't want to, right?"

  He lets go of my hand and runs his fingers slowly down my back, making me shiver. He stops when he gets to my waist, resting there gently.

  "Right. But we can also do things that make us feel good. And I know that I can make you feel good baby. But you won't give me the chance. And the harder you pull away, the more I will chase you. It is in your best interests if you come home with me tonight, we can do what we need to do, then we never have to see each other again. Well, except when we awkwardly bump into each other at NYSSA of course."

  I sigh, this whole routine was getting a bit tired now.

  "How romantic. Every girl wants sleazy hook ups and awkward meetings afterwards. I’m sold.”

  I have to laugh as his entire face lights up, and he looks at me with a smile.

  "Really?"

  He was unbelievable.

  "No."

  He huffs as we carry on walking, the fact that he still has his arm around my waist gives me butterflies It feels really good. Even though he’s a jerk, he makes me feel safe.

  Before I know it, we are already at the club. I look up at the building, a bright pink flashing sign advertising the club. I take a deep breath, then look at Drew.

  "Thanks for walking me. See you tomorrow or something."

  I figure I have to be polite, this job would never have existed without him, and I was grateful because I needed the money.

  "Don't worry about it. I'll see you around."

  As he starts to walk back down the street, I lift my head high and get ready to push the door open. Just as I am about to walk through, I hear my name being called.

  "Louise"

  I turn to see Drew running back to me, his eyes full of concern. This was weird.

  "Yes?"

  He lifts his hand and runs a finger down my cheek, just like he did in the hotel that first night we met.

  "Just… Just be careful OK? Don't let my Dad talk you into anything you don't want to do. "

  Confusion sweeps over me.

  "It's a cleaning job Drew, he is hardly going to make me work as one of the dancers."

  He flinches at my words. He rests both his hands softly against my cheeks, staring into my eyes with an intensity I have never seen.

  "Just be careful."

  Then to my astonishment, he leans over and places a gentle kiss on my nose. His concerned eyes give me one last look, then he hurries off back down the street. I watch his fading figure go, feeling more confused than ever. What was he playing at? Why was he so vulgar at times, and then soft and caring like this? He was a hard guy to figure out.

  I take another deep breath when I can no longer see Drew, then push the door open, taking in my first glimpse of Lacy Lolas.

  All around me are girls dancing around poles and stages in nothing but skimpy underwear. As it was only seven pm, there were no customers yet. I assumed the girls were practicing or something. I try to avert my eyes, and walked up to the huge bar situated at the back of the room, where a tall guy with light brown hair is polishing the glasses. He looks about my age, which surprises me as I thought the place would be crawling with men who are the same age as Drews dad.

  "Sorry love, we aren’t open yet. Come back at nine."

  He starts stacking the polished glasses up behind the bar, and turns away from me.

  "Uh, actually, I am here about a job."

  He swivels round, staring at me in horror.

  "A job? I know just by looking at you that you won't fit in here."

  He leans closer to me, his voice almost a whisper so nobody else hears.

  "You don't belong here, you are too young for this. Go and find something better sweetheart. "

  I smile, my cheeks turning red. He thinks I mean a stripping job. Great.

  "Thanks. But I am actually here for a cleaning job. I have an appointment with John Evans? "

  He laughs out loud, sounding relieved.

  "Oh, Right, well…. Sorry about that. John's not here just yet, but he will be in about five minutes. He is stuck in traffic or something." He holds his hand out for me to shake. "I'm Brett."

  "Louise Hart." I reply, shaking his hand.

  "Can I get you something to drink? On the house of course. No alcohol though, sorry , I know you probably need one to calm your nerves but I am guessing you are not yet twenty-one? "

  I smile at him.

  "An orange juice will be fine thanks. I'm eighteen. But excuse my forwardness, you don’t look twenty-one yourself and yet you are working behind a bar."

  He laughs as pops the lid of the little orange juice bottle and tips it into a glass filled with ice.

  "Only just turned twenty-one a few months back. My step dad got me the job, John Evans, the guy you will be seeing soon. He married my Mom three years ago. He has been promising me a job ever since I could remember, I snapped it up. I want to go travelling next year, so I wanted to get saving as soon as I could."

  I gape at him in surprise.

  "So that means your step brother is Drew?!"

  His face clouds over at the mention of the name. His eyes become dark and h
ooded.

  "Unfortunately. How do you know him? We may be related but I should warn you to stay far away from him and his waste of space brother Cooper. "

  My blood runs cold at his tone. It was clear there was issues between them.

  "Drew goes to my college. I had no idea he had a brother, we aren’t that close. He told me to phone here about the cleaning job because his Dad owns the bar, but that is all I know about him. Why should I stay away?"

  He gets distracted by somebody walking through the door, then shakes his head sadly.

  "Never mind. John has just turned up to see you."

  John Evans is a tall, intimidating man. His grey suit matches his grey eyes and grey hair, I can't see any trace of Drew in him at all.

  "You must be Louise? I trust my stepson has been taking good care of you?"

  Brett nods, and I smile.

  "Yes, he has been very welcoming."

  John Evans doesn’t even raise a smile as he glances at both of us.

  "Right, let’s go through to the office shall we?"

  I nod, following him to a room at the back of the building, giving Brett a quick wave as I go. The next few hours fly by as I am given my uniform and shown the basics. John is friendly enough in the end, but very boss like and I made sure to do everything perfectly. The evening goes well and I know that I will be able to do the work for however long I need to. When the customers arrive, I am mainly allocated to the toilets and other rooms, but when I did have to go to a table and clean, the customers completely blank me for the girl in front of them writhing around in a thong. Which is fine by me.

  The only awkward moment comes at the end of the night, when John finds me to tell me what a great job I have done. He also tells me that I am very pretty and could have a great 'career' if I wanted to follow in the footsteps of the other girls. I give him a firm no, which he accepts, then cheerfully waves me goodbye until tomorrow night.

  I try to find Brett to say goodbye to , but it seems he has already left before me. I grab my bag and shiver as I step out into the cold night air. I kick myself for not bringing a coat, I should have known it would have been a lot colder as the night wore on.

  "Good job I brought a spare jacket."

  I jump at the sound of Drew’s voice. He is leaning against a lamppost and is holding a leather jacket out to me.