On His Knees (Blasphemy)

by Laura Kaye

  What he was supposed to do with that revelation, Jamie didn’t know. And luckily he had something else to think about. Because he found a card atop a small box in his locker.

  Jamie,

  Insert this. You know where. And then put on only your jeans and meet me at the bar.

  —A

  Inside the box was a four-inch anal vibrator with an attached cock ring. A slow grin crawled up his face as he examined it, but he couldn’t find a way to turn it on. Using some lube on the bathroom counter, Jamie made quick work of inserting it, and then he stepped back into his jeans. And hell if trying to walk around with something inserted in your ass didn’t make you feel it with every single step. Heading out of the locker room, Jamie carried the Christmas gift he’d brought. The big day wasn’t for another three days, but Jamie was flying to California in the morning to spend a week-long holiday visit with his parents.

  A week ago, Jamie had been glad to be getting out of Baltimore. Now, leaving sat like a rock in his gut.

  God, he had it really freaking bad, didn’t he?

  A few minutes later, he was making his way through the crowded club toward the bar. The vibe was festive and a little frenetic, and it sent a shiver of arousal through Jamie’s blood. He couldn’t find a seat at the big marble-and-iron counter that formed the bar, so he squeezed in at one end, giving himself a decent one-eighty view of a wide section of the floor that would hopefully allow Master Alex to spot him.

  “Can I get you something?” a deep voice asked from behind him.

  Jamie turned and looked into the mismatched eyes of Master Leo. “Oh, hello, Sir. No, thank you. I’m waiting for someone.”

  “For Master Alex,” he said.

  Ah, holy awkward. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good for him, then.” He winked. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

  “I will, Sir,” Jamie said, meaning about a drink. But then it occurred to him that maybe the Dom had meant it in some other way.

  His thoughts were all tangled around that axle when a hand slid around his waist. “Were you waiting long?”

  Jamie grinned. “Not at all, Master Alex. Hello.”

  “Hello.” The Dom murmured the greeting against his lips before kissing him deeply, lingeringly. And then he bit on Jamie’s bottom lip, just a little stinging nip. But it made Jamie hot for the man. “Did you find my present?”

  “Wearing it now, Sir.”

  Approval banked heat in those dark eyes. “Good boy. Come with me,” he said, entangling their fingers. “I’d like us to hang out with some people for a bit, and they saved us seats.”

  “Yes, Sir,” Jamie said, willing to follow the man pretty much anywhere. Following had another benefit—it gave him the opportunity to really look his fill at this man who’d planted his flag in Jamie, claiming pretty much everything he had to give. And Alex, Alex managed to be both harshly masculine and classy and refined all at once. He wore what Jamie had come to think of as his club gear—the black slacks and black-button down combo with the sleeves cuffed that now made Jamie’s mouth water like a fucking Pavlovian response.

  Master Alex stopped short just before they reached the grouping of couches. “Our scene begins now, Jamie. Do you understand?”

  His pulse kicked up under his skin. “Yes, Sir.”

  “You will kneel at my feet. And no speaking unless I ask you a question or direct you to.”

  Jamie nodded and goosebumps rushed over his skin. This was the first time Master Alex had ever called something they’d done in the public spaces of the club a scene. And without yet knowing what his Dom was going to require of him, Jamie felt self-conscious and nervous. And way more excited.

  Damn Master Alex for knowing just how much humiliation turned him on. And damn his own twisted brain. Not that he really minded. Jamie far preferred understanding and accepting his own deviance than being a stranger to himself who couldn’t connect with others. But still, damn his fucking awesome sadist of a Dom.

  Master Alex led them to the couches and introduced everyone. Masters Kyler and Quinton and their subs, Mia and Cass, Jamie had already met. Master Griffin and his submissive, Kenna, were new but familiar to him—they were the couple he’d watched do the bondage demonstration on his first night.

  “Everyone this is Jamie Fielding. Jamie, say hello,” Master Alex instructed.

  Standing a half step behind his Dom, Jamie gave a wave. “Hello, Sirs. Ladies.”

  Master Alex sat in a leather wingback chair and Jamie knelt, his knees touching the man’s shoe. He placed his gift on the floor, and then assumed the waiting position, gaze down. It was an interesting challenge to both submit to this position and remain situationally aware and alert in case Master Alex called for him, especially when he wasn’t involved in the others’ conversation. But it became easier when Alex gifted him with little caresses and touches, stroking his hair, massaging his neck, tracing the lines of his tattoos with a single dragging finger.Centering Jamie with the evidence of his attention.

  A sensation. No, a vibration. From deep inside his ass.

  Jamie bit back a moan at the pressure against his prostate.

  “Look at me,” came Master Alex’s voice.

  He did, and aw, man, the blatant lust in those dark eyes rushed heat over Jamie’s skin. The vibration increased, and his cock hardened, tormented by the tight circle of the toy’s ring.

  “What do you want?” the Dom asked, spreading his thighs.

  Jamie didn’t have to think about this. “To do whatever would please you, Master Alex.” He wasn’t just saying that either. Not only had he learned that submitting to the sadist’s torture always rewarded him with pleasure in the long run, but all week Jamie had found that he was happiest when he’d pleased or satisfied Alex, or when he received the Dom’s praise.

  Now he craved that.

  “Move between my knees and take out my cock.”

  Jamie’s stomach went for a loop, like he’d just crested the highest hill on a tall roller coaster. This was different, engaging in such an intimate act in front of others.

  “Where is your mind right now, boy? On me.”

  On Alex. Only Alex. Nodding, Jamie shifted positions and unzipped Alex’s pants. He wore nothing underneath, allowing that big cock to spill out into his hand. And there was nothing like this fat dick to chase the rest of the world away.

  Master Alex nailed him with a stare that brooked no argument. “Make me come with your mouth.”

  Knowing what the Dom liked, Jamie didn’t hesitate and he didn’t hold back. He held the thick pole in one hand, spit on the wide head, and opened his mouth as he sucked him in. On some level, Jamie felt hundreds of eyes watching him, and it was possible a blush was blooming across every inch of his skin. But Alex’s size didn’t give him the luxury of lax concentration, and so he put everything into taking the cock deep, deep, deeper.

  Alex stroked his shoulders, his hair, his hand. He ratcheted up the vibrator until Jamie was all but humping the front of the chair. And then, out of nowhere, he roughly grabbed the back of his head and forced him all the way down.

  Jamie didn’t want to fight him. Didn’t want to struggle. Didn’t want to fail to make him proud. Not in front of all these people. So he moaned and he gagged and he accepted the burn of the deprivation of air. But what he didn’t do was fight.

  For just a moment, Master Alex let him up. Air sawed into Jamie’s lungs, and then the Dom bit out, “Again.”

  The blow job went on that way for long delirious minutes. Oxygen-stealing deep throating interspersed with brief windows of air and control. Until tears streamed down Jamie’s face and his cock needed to explode.

  “I’m going to give you my cum, Jamie, and you’re going to swallow every fucking drop.” Mouth too full to speak, Jamie nodded. And Alex rewarded him with a few smacks against his tear-streaked face. And then Master Alex groaned, too. “Get ready. Get ready to take it. Show me what a slut you are for my cum.”

  On an
up-stroke, the first hot jet of the orgasm hit the back of Jamie’s throat. He’d blown Master Alex several times, but he’d only drank down his load once before. He tried to swallow as fast as he could, but his Dom fucked his face through the repeated pulsing of his release and some spilled out onto Master Alex’s cock.

  The Dom pulled him off his erection and shook his head. “I said every drop. Clean me with your tongue.” Between knowing he hadn’t done what his Master had required and the word slut still ringing in his ears, heat roared into Jamie’s face. But he licked up what he’d spilled, the taste salty and sweet. “Better,” Master Alex said in a low voice.

  He peered up at the man, gratitude on the tip of his tongue, but he wasn’t supposed to speak.

  Alex tucked himself away and closed his pants, then gave a single nod like he knew what Jamie wanted. Of course he did. He always seemed to. “Thank me.”

  “Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.”

  “Your reward.” The vibrations inside him spiked so hard Jamie yelped. Alex chuckled. “Relax now,” he said, gently pushing Jamie’s head to rest on his still-spread thighs and stroking his hand over his hair. Jamie no longer knew who was around them or who might be paying them any mind, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t care. And he couldn’t relax either.

  Because the vibrator was absolutely brutalizing Jamie’s prostate and calling forth what was sure to be a huge orgasm. He fought against it and he moaned and shifted, but it was impossible to still his hips. One hand fisted in the fabric of Alex’s pants leg. And still the Dom said nothing.

  Jamie was going to come. He was going to fucking come. His moans became alarmed cries and he slanted his gaze upward. Master Alex’s dark eyes were trained on Jamie’s face. He knew what was about to happen.

  Alex mouthed a single word. Come.

  The orgasm barreled down Jamie’s spine and nailed him in the lower back and then it exploded out the front of his cock inside his jeans. He cried out, his head grinding into the muscle of the man’s thigh.

  But the vibrations didn’t stop. And Master Alex didn’t stop watching Jamie’s face.

  Jamie shook his head, silently pleading, silently praying. He couldn’t tolerate the intensity of the assault. He couldn’t come again. He couldn’t stay quiet when he was so fucking sensitive.

  “You’re going to come again, Jamie,” Master Alex said. “You’re going to give me your release.”

  And he was right. Jamie came again in a brutally hard orgasm. And then he screamed through a third time and a fourth. He hadn’t even known his body was capable of such a thing. Nor that an orgasm could feel so good and so painfully bad at the same time.

  When the toy finally turned off, Jamie lay absolutely limp in Master Alex’s lap.

  The Dom pressed a single kiss atop his head.

  And only his utter exhaustion kept Jamie from giving voice to the love he felt for the other man.

  Ten

  Welcome to the Master’s lounge,” Alex said, guiding Jamie into the private space. The Masters did occasionally bring subs here, though usually that was reserved for those in committed or collared relationships. But Alex hadn’t thought twice about bringing Jamie, not when his own actions had trashed the man’s clothing.

  He owed Jamie a shower, and since he wanted to take it with him, they’d come here.

  “Thank you, Sir,” Jamie said, peering around, his expression solemn like he understood that coming here was special. He went to the big window. “What an incredible view. You can really see the beauty of the building from up here.”

  “Indeed,” Alex said, taking the other man in. Just observing and watching. Because he couldn’t fucking get enough.

  Jamie caught him looking, and Alex let him, continuing the blatant stare until Jamie’s cheeks pinked and he chuckled. “Is anything wrong, Sir?”

  “Fuck, no.”

  The sub ducked his chin and grinned, which made Alex realize he still carried a square wrapped box in his hand.

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  Now the kid’s smile turned a little shy. “It’s just something small. For you. Merry Christmas.”

  “That was very thoughtful of you,” Alex said, opening the paper and then the carton underneath. He pulled out a black coffee mug that said, I think the phrase you’re searching for is Yes, Master. Alex chuckled at the humor of it, even as that phrase played with things in his chest. Yes, Master. He should’ve corrected Jamie when he’d said it, but he liked hearing it too fucking much to correct him. And didn’t that say something. “This might become my new favorite saying.”

  Grinning, Jamie nodded. “There’s something inside, too.”

  Pulling out the tissue paper inside the mug, Alex could fill the weight of something solid wrapped inside. A slim titanium identification bracelet spilled into his palm with his initials engraved into the front in a bold, classic lettering.

  A M M

  Alexander Michael McGarry.

  The piece was beautiful, tasteful, refined. And it moved Alex to a surprising degree. Maybe because he’d been debating trading out Jamie’s white cuff to red, and marking him as attached. But Alex had hesitated. Fuck, he’d hesitated because he wasn’t nearly as fearless as the younger man before him. But now he knew he should’ve done it. Now everything inside him was screaming attached so loud he could no longer ignore it. “How did you learn my middle initial?” he managed to ask around the emotion lodged in his chest.

  “Master Kyler.” He cleared his throat and said more quietly. “Turn it over.”

  Alex flipped the bracelet and found more engraving on the inside.

  You are my weakness.

  You are my strength.

  “Jesus, Jamie,” he said, completely overwhelmed. “I fucking love it.” Alex couldn’t keep his distance any longer. He got right up in Jamie’s space and cupped his hands around Jamie’s face. And then he kissed him like he was the air Alex needed to breathe. “I will cherish this.”

  They stood with their foreheads touching. “I just wanted you to know that, no matter what else happens, I am who I am because of everything you’ve given me.”

  “Aw, my sweet boy. You were strong before you ever walked into this place. Never forget that.” And then Alex just couldn’t stop with the praise, not when the man had so lit him up inside. “You did so good tonight. Was it hard, in front of people?”

  “A little. I’m not used to being so open. But more than that, I didn’t want to do anything to embarrass you.”

  Alex appreciated the sentiment, but he shook his head. “You’re going to make mistakes. Hell, so am I. You’ve come an incredibly long way in a short amount of time, Jamie. I’m proud of you.” Alex kissed him again, unable to get enough of the man’s touch and taste and service.

  And even more than being proud, Alex was awed by Jamie Fielding. The man had been nothing but fearless all week. Fearless in trying so many new things, in his commitment to learning more about himself, in accepting Alex’s sadism, and in being willing to show exactly how much it meant to him.

  With each passing day, Alex had allowed himself to hope a little more, a little stronger, that he and Jamie could be about more than sex. They had conversations late into the night, the kind he hadn’t had with anyone for years, that ranged from funny to serious, the basics of getting to know another person to the deeply intimate. Those conversations revealed that they’d both been seeking connection in their lives. And it’d all given Alex hope that, in the end, he’d been right to take this chance and let this man in.

  And now, these gifts and these words turned that hope into resolve. Damn, he hated that Jamie had to leave, or he’d change his cuff tomorrow. But no matter, he could make it a surprise at the big New Year’s Eve party next Sunday. That was the perfect time to take things to the next level.

  When Alex broke the kiss, Jamie’s eyes were soft and so fucking pretty. “Thank you, Sir. That…that means a lot.”

  A warm pressure filled Alex’s chest. “Mmm, I
want to wash you. Would you like that?”

  “Uh, yeah. I mean, yes. Yes, Sir.”

  Alex chuckled and led him to one of the big shower stalls. And then he stripped his submissive down and took the most careful, tender care of him. Cleaning his body, washing his hair, massaging his shoulders and back. They didn’t much speak, and Alex never made it sexual—though Jamie’s very presence turned him on. But it still felt intimate beyond anything Alex had experienced with anyone else in a long, long time.

  When they were done, Alex lent Jamie a pair of sweatpants. And then he stood before him and held out his wrist. “Would you hook the bracelet for me?”

  “Yeah?” Jamie whispered.

  He nodded and nailed him with a stare as he worked at the little clasp. Alex might be the sadist, but this man had the power to break him.

  Or finally make him whole.

  But as they said their good-byes and promised to text while they were apart, Alex refused to give into his old fears. Which just proved that Jamie Fielding was his weakness and his strength, too.

  I can’t wait to see you. What time do you land?

  Phone in hand, Jamie lay sprawled on his parents’ big sectional sofa in the family room, grinning like an idiot as he texted with Alex. His dad sat in his recliner watching a World War II documentary on The History Channel, and his mom was pulling together what smelled like a fantastic dinner.

  He’d spent a great week with his family, celebrating Christmas, visiting old friends, and helping his parents out around the house, which was starting to become too much for his dad to handle on his own. Despite the good times and the beautiful weather and the home-cooked meals, Jamie was eager as fuck to head east tomorrow. Back to Baltimore. Back to Alex.

  Too fucking late. Pushing 10, Jamie replied.

  The little bubbles that indicated Alex was typing popped up immediately. Come to my place when you get back. Stay with me tomorrow night.