Love Me or Leave Me

by Gwynne Forster

  “How’d you sleep last night?” He hadn’t planned to mention it, but it came out, so he’d pursue it. “Don’t tell me you went to sleep the minute your head hit the pillow, because I won’t believe it.” She inched closer to him, and he draped his left arm across her shoulder.

  “I’m not in the habit of lying for no reason,” she said. “Anything else you want to know?”

  He drew her closer to him. “What would you have done if I’d gone to your door?”

  “I would have opened the door.”

  He maneuvered her head to a place against his shoulder, leaned over her and ran his tongue over the seam of her lips. “I wanted you so damned bad I thought I’d go crazy.” Her lips parted and he plunged into her. When she sucked his tongue deeper into her mouth, he knew he had to stop it right there. “Hold it, sweetheart. I’ve got a long and busy day ahead, and I don’t want to spend it wrestling with my libido.”

  He stood, took her hand and walked with her along the riverbank until they reached a path that led to the main road. As they walked, he pointed to a hill that overlooked the river. “Remember I told you I hope to build my house there one of these days? I didn’t tell you that in the winter, when the trees are bare, you can look down the river for miles.”

  Her silence struck him like the sound of thunder, and he didn’t have to ask what she was thinking and feeling, because he knew, and he knew she wouldn’t tell him if he asked. Very soon, he would have to decide either to ask her to marry him or tell her that they should go their separate ways. Yet, the idea of a choice seemed laughable, because he couldn’t imagine not having her in his life. And furthermore, the thought of another man having her sickened him. I’ll give myself two months to go or stay.

  “Wha—” his foot skidded out from under him when he stepped on a patch of wet leaves. Both of her hands grabbed him, breaking his fall, deflecting what would have been a complete spill. Instead, he was able to reach for and hold on to the trunk of a young tree.

  “Thanks,” he said, aware that his face probably bore a startled expression. “Where did you get those kinds of reflexes?”

  “They’re not special. I pay attention to whatever’s important to me, and you are. So I was looking at you when it happened.”

  He finished picking the wet leaves off his jeans and stared down at her, knowing that it was only a matter of time, a short time at that, before he capitulated.

  At the dinner for the bridal party that Alexis and Telford hosted at the Francis Scott Key Hotel in Frederick that night, he didn’t think he’d ever been as proud as he was with Pamela beside him. Telford and Russ had beautiful women, but neither outshone Pamela, who wore a simple lace dinner dress in a shade of red that he liked. Telford toasted the bride and groom and wished them happiness, and Velma presented gifts to her maid of honor and bridesmaids.

  Henry stood, held up a glass of champagne and said, “It’s been me joy to raise these boys, to see them become fine men and make a name for themselves. It didn’t surprise me none when Tel showed he had good sense to marry Alexis, but I thought I was going to have to take me strap to Russ. I knowed from the first, just like Russ did, that Velma was the one for him, but I also knowed that Russ was just cussed enough to ignore what was good for him.” He took a sip. “After tomorrow, I’ll have me two daughters.” He looked toward Drake and Pamela. “I ain’t saying no more, but everybody here can guess what I’m thinking and hoping.”

  Why hadn’t he thought that Henry would say something like that? Drake stood, saluted the bride and groom and then tipped his glass to Pamela. “By now, everybody here should know that Henry’s mouth is a place without a hinge or a key, that its purpose is to release all those uncontrolled words that tumble out of him. In spite of that, I can’t imagine my life without him. Russ and Velma, the two of you have found something wonderful. Take good care of it, because it can’t be replaced.”

  Everyone at the table stared at him, but so be it. He’d spoken from his heart. And from your own experience with loving Pamela, a voice inside of him mocked. He knew then that he wouldn’t visit Pamela in her room that night and that he would warn her to that effect. He didn’t want any incident, however casual, to trivialize what he felt for her.

  “You’re letting it hang out there, brother,” Russ said. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you just made a personal statement.”

  Drake raised his glass and tipped it in Russ’s direction. “You have all the answers, brother. More power to you.” He put the glass to his lips, swallowed every drop of the champagne it contained and set it down with sufficient precision to let them all know he didn’t want to be toyed with.

  “It’s a right fine party,” Henry said, “but at me age, eleven o’clock and sleep are one and the same. Drake, if you and Pamela don’t mind leaving, you can drive me home.”

  Henry deserved a blessing for that. He looked down at Pamela. “Ready when you are,” she said, not waiting for him to ask her.

  He reached over and squeezed her hand. “Thanks. I’m ready. Sometimes I forget that Henry is getting older.” He stood. “Let Russ prolong his bachelor status. I’m taking Henry home. Everybody get home safely and sleep well.”

  “Yeah,” Telford said over his shoulder. “Do that.”

  He heard the snickers and knew what they implied but didn’t care. For once, he didn’t feel like an outsider. Oh, he had always had a woman with him at their social occasions, but only for show. This time, he had the woman he loved and who loved him, and as he assisted her in getting up from the table he felt that streak of possessiveness returning. I’ve got to curb this. If I don’t watch it, I’ll become jealous, and that would make me a bore.

  At five o’clock that Saturday afternoon, Pamela glided down the hall from the guest room to meet Drake, who waited for her at the bottom of the stairs that led to the second floor.

  He released a sharp whistle. “Man, have I got myself one gorgeous woman!”

  “You deserve a hug for that,” she told him, “but it’ll have to wait because I can’t risk getting that close to you.”

  “Why not, for Pete’s sake? Do I have a contagious disease?”

  “You may not have a disease, but you’ve got something that’ll make me arrive at the church all mussed up.”

  He took her arm. “Your tongue is getting to be as loose as Henry’s. You and I are driving Russ to the church. A couple of limousines are collecting the ushers and bridesmaids, Henry’s traveling with Telford, and Adam Roundtree is bringing Tara and his son, Grant.”

  She looked steadily at him. “I’m feeling weepy, and it’s so unlike me. Say, who’s bringing Velma?”

  “She and Alexis are at a hotel in Frederick. Bride and groom aren’t supposed to see each other till they meet at the altar. Are you feeling teary because you’re happy, or is it—”

  She was glad that Russ joined them, relieving her of the need to answer Drake’s question. She hadn’t expected that anything would make Russ Harrington nervous until he announced, “I’ll be fine if I don’t have to say one word to anybody until I hear that organ begin the strains of ‘Here Comes the Bride.’” She knew he was ready to fly out of his skin.

  Without comment, Drake put on his favorite music, Duke Ellington’s “Satin Doll.”

  “Not to worry, brother. Just sit back and let the Duke soothe you.” Russ chuckled, and Pamela had another opportunity to observe the empathy, understanding and love that the brothers shared.

  At the church, Drake kissed her cheek. “See you later,” he said and headed toward a side door with Russ, each elegant in identical black tuxedos, white shirts and silver accessories that matched the matron of honor’s dress.

  She joined the bridesmaids and marveled at the beautiful rainbow of colors. She found Jenny, the dressmaker, and congratulated her.

  “It’s something lovely to see, isn’t it?” Jenny said. “Wait till you see the bride. Her man gon’ swell up sure as shootin’.”

  If I ever get
married, she said to herself, I’m going to find this woman. Who would believe that three years ago she was homeless and living on the street with all her possessions in a shopping cart? She shook her head in wonder. “Jenny, when my time comes, if it ever does, I am definitely going to look you up.”

  “It’ll come all right. Men don’t pass up women who look like you.”

  She let herself smile, but there had been times when she wished they had.

  At six o’clock, the organ pealed strains of Mozart’s “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik” (“A Little Night Music”), Velma’s favorite piece of music, and the guests turned toward the door. Pamela felt the dampness on her cheeks as she walked, head high and footing sure up the long aisle that was bedecked with white lilies of the valley at the end of every pew. As she reached the altar, she glanced at Drake, who stood beside Russ, his face stricken with concern. She wiped the tears with the back of her hand and, when she did so, his frown deepened. She smiled to assure him that she was all right.

  Titters among the audience alerted her to the approach of Grant—dressed as the other males in the entourage—and Tara, wearing mauve-pink from hat to shoes and dropping rose petals as she walked. At the altar, they stood beside Alexis, who had walked just behind them. Trumpets sounded and the organ began the traditional bridal song. The guests stood and Russ, eschewing convention, turned and faced the door. She knew her lips quivered, and she sucked in the bottom one to control them. A glance at Drake told her that his mind was not on the ceremony or the two lucky people about to be married, but on her. She smiled again, but he didn’t smile in return.

  Get it together, girl. You don’t want to ruin it for him, she told herself.

  Velma approached with Henry at her side, and the woman’s radiance, her joy, was almost a living thing. Russ’s grin had an electric quality, a message that made Pamela feel like spreading her arms out and shouting. If she had ever before seen such happiness on a man’s face, she couldn’t recall it. She glanced at Drake and found his gaze on her. This time he smiled as if, by mental telepathy, he knew that she was rejoicing with the bride and groom.

  “Who gives this woman to be wed?” the minister asked.

  “I do,” Henry’s voice rang out, and he took his seat beside Adam and Melissa Roundtree.

  She listened intently as the couple exchanged their vows, and when the minister told Russ to kiss his bride, Pamela’s gaze shifted to Drake as if she had no control over it. His eyes mirrored his heart as he looked at her and, as if to knock her completely off balance, he mouthed words that she couldn’t understand and would have given anything to know. As best man, he should have escorted Alexis, but he whispered something to Telford, who stood beside him, and Telford escorted his wife.

  “You had me worried for a few minutes,” Drake told her as soon as he reached her. “What was the matter?”

  “I was just so full. So…so many things were going on in my head. The beauty of it, the pageantry, the church, the music. Everything. When I started up the aisle, I…uh…I felt lonely for a few minutes.”

  “I thought it was something like that. You don’t know how happy I was when I realized that you’d snapped out of it.”

  At the reception, Drake danced the second dance with Alexis as custom demanded, and when he looked around for Pamela to ask her to dance, he discovered that one of the ushers was dancing with her. The dance ended, and the man was requesting a second dance when Drake approached them.

  He didn’t hesitate. “Sorry, buddy, but this dance is mine.”

  “You can have the next one, pal. I was here first.”

  “He was here a few months before you,” Pamela said to the man. “I enjoyed the dance, but Drake is my guy.”

  The man’s eyebrows shot up. “Sorry, man. I should have known a dame like this one wasn’t loose.” He saluted. “Hang in there.”

  Drake had to toast the bride and groom, but he didn’t intend to leave her to her admirer, so he took her hand and walked over to the table. No rule said she couldn’t stand there with him. Besides, with the flowers, ribbons and that four-tier wedding cake, she looked better standing there than he did. When the waiters finished serving the champagne, he rapped a fork against his glass.

  “Allow me to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Russell Harrington!” Following the applause, he said, “Considering the love I witness between this man and this woman, I have no doubt that they were meant for each other. Russ, Velma, my happiness for you is boundless. God bless you both.” He stepped aside to make room for Telford.

  With his glass high, Telford said, “You were always the wisest one of us brothers, Russ, and you showed wisdom when you chose this woman. Velma, we welcome you to our family with all our hearts. God bless you both.” He beckoned Henry.

  “This is one of the happiest days of me life. It’s brought tears to me eyes to see the happiness of Russ and Velma and to know me dreams for them have come true.” He raised his glass. “To a long and happy life together.”

  “What time do you want to leave?” Drake asked Russ.

  “Any minute. Velma has to change. Say, why don’t you let Telford take us? The limousines can take the bridesmaids and ushers to their hotels, home or wherever they’re going.”

  Drake raised an eyebrow. As best man, it was his place to see the newlyweds to their plane. “That isn’t the way it works, brother.”

  “This time it does,” Russ said. He nodded toward the usher who was once more crowding Pamela. “You need to take care of business. See you in two weeks.”

  He embraced Russ and kissed Velma’s cheek. “You’re as beautiful a bride as I’ve ever seen,” he told her. “Old Sourpuss here is besotted.”

  “Yeah.” Russ grinned. “And from what I’ve seen lately, I’m not the only one. Take care, brother.”

  After telling Henry and Telford that he was taking Pamela to Baltimore, he walked over to the man who wanted to be his rival, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me, buddy.”

  “You again?”

  He grinned, although he wasn’t amused. “Yeah, man.” To Pamela, he said, “You ready to go, sweetheart?”

  For an answer, she extended her hand to him. “Nice meeting you,” she said to the man, mostly over her shoulder.

  “I’m driving you to Baltimore. If you want to spend the night in Eagle Park, we can go back there later, but right now, I want you to myself. What do you say?”

  “Fine with me. I’ve got plenty of clothes in Baltimore. Won’t you feel strange wearing that tux on a Sunday morning?”

  So she was way ahead of him, was she? He wanted to crush her to him, but he settled for a squeeze of her fingers. “I’ll stop by Russ’s apartment and get a shirt and jacket.”

  As they entered her apartment, he found himself marveling that she could be so devoid of coyness and pretense. She knew he wanted to spend the night with her, and she wanted the same, so she didn’t enter into a fencing match.

  “I want to get out of this dress,” she said. “It’s not the most comfortable dress to sit in.”

  He didn’t intend for her to spend a lot of time sitting, but he had sense enough not to say it. She returned quickly, wearing a green jumpsuit.

  “Would you like coffee, a drink, some food? I can put a couple of frozen quiches in the microwave and defrost some frozen shrimp.”

  He shook his head. “I’m sure I’ll take you up on that later, but right now I’m so hungry for you that I can’t think of food.” And he hadn’t overstated it. The previous night, he had been ready to climb the wall.

  She opened her arms and stepped closer to him. He steeled himself against grabbing her as he longed to do, but eased his arms around her and found her mouth. With a moan, she took him in and began to feast on his tongue. He broke the kiss and stared down at her, for her breath had already shortened to pants and he could feel her erect nipples through his shirt. He picked her up and carried her to her bedroom.

  “I have to try to take it slow,” he whispered to her
as he settled her on her feet beside the bed. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “We have all night. If you’re in a hurry, you can make up for it later. Not to worry.”

  With both arms around her, he brushed his lips over her forehead, her eyes and cheeks, trying to show her what she meant to him. She put her hands behind her neck, reaching for her zipper, and he eased it down. A gasp escaped him when she stepped out of the jumpsuit wearing only a red V-shaped patch that he supposed passed for panties. At the sight of her full, rounded and erect breasts, his blood roared toward his loins, and he reached for her, covered her right nipple with his mouth and began to suck it.

  “Oh, Lord,” she moaned, and he pushed his hand beneath the bikini, found her folds and began to tease and massage her. Her moans grew louder, and she began to undulate against his hand. She wanted him and didn’t mind letting him know it. He knew he couldn’t wait much longer, but he meant to fire her up until she burned for him. When her hand grasped his penis, he nearly buckled.

  “Don’t, baby. If you do that it will be over in seconds.”

  “Put me in the bed.”

  He turned back the cover and placed her on the pink satin sheets. Then, he undressed himself and joined her. “May I take these off?” She lifted her hips and he removed the underwear, flung it over his shoulder and locked her naked body to his. “I love everything about you, every inch of you,” he whispered as he worked his way down her body, kissing and fondling, loving the insides of her thighs with his fingers and his tongue. She writhed and moaned as he lit her up.

  “I’ll go mad if you don’t get inside of me.”

  Ignoring her plea, he kissed her legs, her feet and the dimple beneath her knees before spreading her legs, opening her folds, thrusting his tongue into her. She let out a keening cry, and her moans filled the room as he kissed, sucked, nibbled and twirled his rapacious tongue.

  “I want to explode. Drake, honey, get in me. I need you to—”

  “All right. I’ll give you what you want.” He reached down beside the bed, picked up the condom and handed it to her. The feel of her hands on him, the way she handled him as she quickly slipped it on him nearly sent him over the edge.