Us Again

by Jennah Thornhill

  “Thank you Sammi, I’m actually glad I'm here. No scrap that, I'm glad you made me come. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you.” I manage to say eventually.

  Finally releasing me from her hold, she gives me a big smile that spreads all over her face. Before patting me on the shoulder and telling me to get changed and come and join the goings on downstairs. Once she shut the bedroom door behind her, I turn back around and face the fabulous view in front of me, I could very easily get used to this. It's pure heaven.

  Going back into the bedroom, I leave the door open to let some fresh air in, as I go and check out the rest of my room. I was right earlier when I said the two doors would hold a bathroom and closet. The first door I come to, opens up to a spacious bathroom, that's bigger than my entire dorm room back at college. It has a big, claw-footed bath with all silver fixtures that sits neatly under the bathroom window. My eyes then go wide when I spot the biggest walk-in shower I've ever seen. It's got gray tiles from floor to ceiling and I'm pretty sure I see built-in water jets in the walls.

  Holy shit.

  Just with the bathroom alone, I know I'm not going to want to leave this place. Sammi is going to have to force me to leave at this rate and I haven't even slept in the bed yet. Something about that bed tells me it's going to be the comfiest thing I've ever slept in. Slowly turning on my heel, I notice a huge sink and countertop to my right, with a huge oval mirror attached to the wall. The countertop is littered with miniature toiletries. Upon closer inspection I can tell they are the expensive brand. As a college student, I know I would never be able to afford these things, so I'm going to enjoy them while I can.

  Leaving the bathroom behind, I close the door and go to inspect the other closed door. Turning the handle, I place my hand on my chest, as I’m in complete and utter shock at what I'm seeing before me when I walk-in.

  Oh, wow

  I've never seen a closet this big before, it has rails up on rails of empty hangers just waiting for clothes to fill them. Clothes I don't have. Well I do have them, but not that many. There's a vast number of drawers, even a shoe rack. Slipping my Converse off my feet, I pull my socks off and squish my toes in the soft gray carpet beneath me. It's then I notice a soft crushed, velvet bench in the middle of the room. Completely taken aback by my beautiful surroundings, I know I owe it to Sammi to go downstairs and mingle. If I don't like it, I could always come back up here and read for a bit.

  Grabbing my bag from the door where she left it, I pick it up and take it back into the closet. It’s warm here in Florida, but I have no intention of bearing my skin to a bunch of strangers. Unzipping my bag, I pull out a few t-shirts and a few pairs of shorts that I brought along with me, as well as some swimwear and flip flops. Once I placed a few clothes onto a shelf, I decide to get out of these jeans before going back down stairs. Grabbing a pair of denim shorts and a swimsuit, I changed quickly, before slipping my feet into a pair of flip flops. It's then when I look into the mirror, that I don't feel entirely comfortable just wearing these clothes. Going back into the closet, I grab a gray hoodie of Nate’s, that I can't seem to let go off and pull it over my head. Before tying my hair up into a messy bun.

  Unable to put it off any longer, I leave my room and head downstairs to find my best friend. Before I even get to the bottom of the stairs, I can hear chanting and the loud music from before. I come to a complete standstill as I hit the bottom step, taking in the scene before me. The scantily clad girl from earlier is now lying on her back on the already overflowing kitchen island. Only this time the same guy is doing shots off her stomach.

  Nice.

  Unable to see Sammi anywhere inside, I take it upon myself to go look for her outside, when I spot some open French doors. The minute I step through them, the heat hits me and I’m already regretting putting the hoodie on, but I’m not taking it off. I walk out on to a larger version of the deck I have outside my room, only this one is littered with people I don’t know. It has a large glass table with chairs surrounding it, that are all occupied. Again Sammi is nowhere to be seen.

  Seriously. Where the fuck could she have gotten to that quick

  My mind is reeling and I’m starting to think I’ve made a mistake coming down here. I should have just stayed in my room.

  No.

  I’m not gonna hide. Going over to a mini-fridge I spot by the table; I grab a bottle of beer from it. Then go and stand at the far edge of the decking and take in the view. I’m lost in the sound of the waves and watching a few of the boats that glide effortlessly along the water. When the hairs on the back of my neck start to prickle and goosebumps takeover the rest of my body.

  “You’re joking right? I wasn’t going to miss this party, Dean.”

  Fuck. Please god, no.

  Chapter Six

  Nate

  Florida 2011

  Going back to Dean’s dads beach house, is like coming home. I’ve spent many hours on that beach. When you’ve lived in New York all your life, having a beach at your disposal, is like it being Christmas every day. Only with golden sands and miles of blue ocean, instead of cold wet snow.

  When he called me and said he was having a blow out at the house, I didn’t hesitate to say I’d come. Dean had graduated the same time as me, but he’s still undecided on what to do with his life. Even though he has a law degree under his belt. Luckily for me, Coach gave the team the week off before we fly out to Boston. Coming here though, did leave me a little nervous. Dean is also Eliza’s best friends’ brother and I’m pretty sure she hates me, even though Eliza is the one who left me. She’s her best friend, so of course Sammi’s going take her side. After voicing my concern when he called me, he quickly reassured me that Sammi wouldn’t be anywhere near the beach house. Let alone the Florida state.

  So, you can imagine my surprise when I walk into the house and the place is banging already. No way is this all just Dean’s doing. He doesn’t know this many people surely?

  Spotting the coat closet by the door, I place my duffle inside for now, until I know which room Dean’s put me in. I usually have my own room set aside for me, but with this many people occupying the property, I’m not going take anything for granted right now.

  Scanning the entire lower floor, I try to spot Dean in the crowd, but I can’t see him. Even though I did text him to say I was on my way and I wouldn’t be long when I jumped into a cab at the airport. Pushing my way through the dancing bodies, I finally make it to the kitchen. Just as I’m about to pull my phone from my pocket to call him to see where the fuck he is, I hear my name being called.

  “Nateeeeee, about time you got your ass here, fucker, I’ve been waiting for you.”

  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Dean was already on the road to being shit-faced, but I know it’s all for show. Since a girl he was seeing got spiked at a party once, he’s very careful of how much he drinks. Barreling his way over to me from the other side of the room, he pushes people out of the way. I laugh at his enthusiasm at my arrival.

  “Hey fucker, long time no see. It’s about time you came back to see your real friends now that you’re the golden boy of baseball. We’ve missed your ugly mug around these parts.” He jokes as he swings an arm around my shoulder and guides me over to the large fridge.

  “Erm, yeah. I’m glad you called me.”

  Handing me a beer out of the fridge, he heads out the French doors towards the large deck out back.

  “I wasn’t sure if you’d come for definite. I know how busy you are.” He says over his shoulder.

  “You’re joking right? I wasn’t going to miss this party, Dean.” I laugh at him.

  As I take my first step on to the deck I come to a complete stop, my laughter dying on my lips. My whole body starts to tremble. My stomach does at least a million somersaults and the sweat suddenly starts to pour out of me. I think I’m gonna puke. The beer Dean handed me slips through my fingers and crashes to the floor. I don’t give two fu
cks, because standing there in the far corner of the deck, leaning over the railings is Eliza. I would recognize those legs anywhere and especially her ass that she has encased in those denim shorts. My heart literally stops beating in my chest as she slowly turns around and faces me. I can tell by the look on her face that she wasn’t expecting me to be here. Well the feeling is very much, fucking mutual, I certainly wasn’t expecting to see her either.

  After that morning I kicked the redhead out of my bed, I vowed to get back on the straight and narrow; no more fucking random women. Except, I didn’t stick to it for very long. Believe me I tried, but there’s only so many times a man can use his own hand on his cock before it becomes painful. I had to do something to keep her out of my mind and it was working perfectly fine… until now.

  When she’s fully turned around, I look straight at her and scan her entire body from top to toe. Her hair is in one of them messy up-do things girls like to do. Her face is void of any make-up; not that she wore much of the stuff when we together anyway, she doesn’t need it. I skim past the hoodie she’s wearing because only she could wear a sweater in this heat. My eyes trace every curve of her legs, where her feet are in a pair of flip flops. It’s only when I allow my eyes to travel back up to her face, that I realize whose top she’s wearing; it’s mine. My Harley Davidson hoodie hangs off her tiny frame, yet it thrills me deep down that she’s still wearing it. The entire time we’ve stood staring at each other, not a one of us has mumbled a single word. That is until Dean breaks the spell when he realizes what's happening.

  “Fuck, shit and balls. Nate, dude I’m so sorry. I didn’t know she was gonna be here. Sammi wasn’t supposed to be come, but she showed up three days ago. Not once did she mention El was coming as well. I swear, I’m gonna strangle her one day, baby fucking sister or not.”

  I can hear what he’s saying, but I don’t reply. I know he wouldn’t do something like get her here on purpose. He knows how her leaving, nearly killed me, but seeing her again here, is like cutting the wound back open. Only this time I’m bleeding out all over Dean’s dads, overpriced deck. I’m still watching her intently as she places with her beer bottle between her fingers. Then lowers her head and turns to run down the steps that lead to the beach.

  Snapping out of the trance I’ve been in for what feels like forever, but in fact it’s only been a few minutes. I push past Dean and run after her. I always do. She’s ingrained in me, no matter how much I try to forget her. No number of faceless women, whose names I never remember is gonna change that. No amount of time away from her is ever going to change my feelings for her. If I had to chase her to the ends of the earth, I would. My feet carry me on autopilot as I run down the stairs to the beach.

  “Eliza. Please wait, don’t run from me. I just want to talk to you.” I yell as I hit the bottom of the steps.

  I know she heard me, because she falters for a split second, but decides to keep running from me. The thing she’s clearly forgot about is that I’m faster than her. There’s a reason I’m the golden boy of baseball. At six-foot-four, I can claim a home run in just under nine seconds. My legs are worth a fortune these days.

  Tiredness soon starts to take over her the further she runs away, because she starts slowing down. Which effectively closes the gap between us the faster I run along the sand. Before I even get to her, she’s stopped running altogether and is bent at the waist, with her hands on her thighs. I can tell she’s out of breath, her shoulders are moving rapidly as she tries to get her breathing back under control. I try my hardest not to look at her ass in those denim shorts as I approach her, but it’s really fucking hard not to when it’s staring me right in the face.

  Afraid that she will bolt again when I come to a stop next to her, I place my hand gently on her back.

  “El? Are you okay?” Concern laces my voice as she’s still bent over and her whole body starts to shake.

  “Don’t touch me.” She whimpers, I can’t see her face but I know that she’s crying. Which gives me a small piece of hope that she still has some feelings for me, even after all these months apart.

  Pulling my hand away from her, I put both of them into my jean’s pockets, so I’m not tempted to touch her again. Everything inside of me is screaming to take her in my arms and show her just how much I’ve fucking missed her, and that she belongs with me.

  “Eliza… please look at me?” Her name still rolls off my tongue like silk and it feels amazing. Since the day I left college, I always thought I’d never see her again, but now she’s here, living and breathing in front of me. I can’t let her leave me again. I have to convince her somehow that us breaking up was a mistake and that we can’t live without each other. Well… I can’t live without her actually, but if her actions of running away from tell me anything, is that she feels the same about me. I still don’t understand why she ended what we had that day and I don’t fucking care. She’s here now and I’m not letting her get away again. She can try to push me away all she wants; she gives me her lame excuses, but this time they’re not gonna wash with me. For once she’s gonna listen to what I have to say, whether she likes it or not.

  Sensing I’m not gonna leave, El finally stands up properly. Unfolding her body from her current bent position, she turns her head in my direction. It’s then for the second time in the last fifteen minutes, the breath is knocked out of me when I look at her. Tear streaks mark her beautiful soft cheeks; her eyes are red from crying. When she bites her bottom lip to stop herself from crying even further, I want nothing more than to kiss her. To make the pain she’s feeling go away, but I know she wouldn’t let me; she’d give me a swift kick to the dick if I so much as even attempted anything with her.

  She’s like a newborn animal, skittish and scared. I can see it in her eyes, she wants do nothing more than to run from me again, but then she surprises the shit out of me when she speaks.

  “H... h… hi Nate.”

  I can feel the mile-wide smile spread across my face, but I don’t give two fucks. She’s talking to me and that’s all I can ask from her right now. This is progress, I think.

  Chapter Seven

  Eliza

  Still In Florida 2011

  What the fuck was I thinking running away from him? Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t. He’s always chased after me when I’ve tried to run from him. Apart from once, but that’s because I left New York before he had the chance too. When I laid my eyes on him on the deck, up at the house, my fight or flight kicked in. I chose flight straight off the bat, there was no way I could see him and not break. I may have been the one who ended us, but it doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving him. I just let him go for his own benefit as well as my own.

  In all my life, I’ve never ran so fast or for that long, but when I heard his voice call out to me, I kept pushing forward. I was hoping he would realize I wasn’t worth the effort and just go back to the beach house. Only the further I ran, the quicker he tried to catch up with me. When my lungs started to burn from the exertion and my chest started to get tight from my lack of breath, my body started to slow down and give up on me. I knew I couldn’t go much further.

  Finally giving up and stopping, I bend over with my hands on my thighs, trying to get my breathing back to a normal rate. Sweat is dripping down my back and loose strands of my hair stick to my face where the tears I didn’t know had started to shed, have ran down my cheeks. The closer he gets to me, the more the tears just pour from me. I’m just not ready to see him. In fact, I was never supposed to see him again. I can’t handle this; I can’t handle being this close to him and not want to touch him. Or have him to touch me. Only he’s coming up behind me on the sand and I’ve got no choice, because I can’t move.

  When I see his pristine, white converse in my line of sight, my whole body starts to shake and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Feeling him place a hand on my back, makes me want to cry even more, but then he speaks and I lose it.

  “El? Are you
okay?”

  His voice is soft and I can tell he’s concerned about me, but I just need him to not have his hand on me.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  To me, my voice sounds stern, but I’m pretty certain it didn’t come out that way.

  “El, please look at me.”

  He’s not asking, he’s pleading with me to look at him. I can’t bear the sound of desperation I can hear coming from him. Giving in like I knew I eventually would, I pull myself up and look at him.

  “H... h… hi, Nate.”

  Looking like total shit is not the way I wanted him to see me, but when you don’t ever expect to see that person again, what’s a girl to do?

  Swiping at my face to move my hair off my wet cheeks, I look up at him properly. My stomach falls through my ass and my heart rate, that I’ve just managed to control, decides to go completely off the scale. He’s changed since the last time I saw him, now he’s even more gorgeous than I remember. He’s fuller across his shoulders, that lead to muscles in his biceps, that definitely weren’t there before. The light gray t-shirt he’s wearing, clings to him like a second skin. I know I’m staring at him, but I can’t help it. He’s no longer the boy who left NYU all those months ago. Nate is now all man and I can’t help but squeeze my thighs together when I trail my eyes down his body. Noticing the way his jeans lie perfectly on his hips, that I just know are going to be just as perfect as the rest of him.

  All the pain I’ve suffered from the day I walked away, temporarily vanishes. As we both just stand there in silence, taking each other in. With his hands in his jean pockets, he shuffles his feet back and forth in the sand, unsure what to do now he’s caught up with me. I don’t blame him; all I’ve done is run and snap at him.

  His jaw is moving from side to side and I know he wants to say something, but daren’t. So, to put an end to the awkwardness that’s started to envelop us, and decide it’s up to me to put an end to it.