Ember

by Tess Williams

  It actually took me a moment to realize he was patronizing me. I furrowed, and he smirked.

  “I'd better go now,” he said. “I'll see you at dinner though, right?”

  I took a breath, distracted by the new dilemma. Simple and stupid, I didn't want Ikovos to go. “Okay,” I drawled.

  He grinned at this, till I started to turn red.

  “All right, go on.” I mumbled.

  And just like that he was off.

  I was surprised to see it was already getting dark, but decided to try the bow thing once more.

  It went further than my first try, though nowhere near what I had done with Ikovos. The extra distance must have been due solely on form. I was pretty happy about that and my smile held until I entered the study, that's when the small smile turned into a wide and completely unsubstantiated grin. A grin, that is, due to the lack of green flames and the reinstitution of a different color.

  I walked over and plopped down into the couch excitedly. Then I leaned forward, crossing my elbows on the table and resting my head on them, just inches away from the fire.

  Somehow it seemed like I'd never seen them before . . . but that's how it worked. Always new, more entrancing every time I saw it . . . the longer I looked at it. Though technically, it was exactly how I remembered, a deep maroon at the base, streaming up into shades of dark red, and ending in a piercingly, vivid, orange.

  I sighed and my breath made it flicker significantly. Apart from that though, the large flame was constant, unwavering. After I don't know how long I leaned back sideways onto the couch, still keeping my eyes on it.

  I'm not quite sure what was going through my mind as I studied the beautiful flames. It was almost as if there were too many thoughts swerving around beneath the surface to allow my conscious mind to focus on just one.

  The next thing I was completely aware of was the dim light pouring through the window and the realization that I had slept through the entire night without a single nightmare. My first response was elation, followed by slight horror because I had promised Ikovos I'd meet him at dinner.

  I jumped up from the couch so quickly that black spots dulled my vision, then rushed into the bathroom. I wanted to hurry down for breakfast, but a look in the mirror told me I definitely couldn't get away with skipping a shower again. It was quick though, very quick. By the time I was out and pulling on one of Sophie's custom outfits, all horror was gone. Replaced with unshakeable anticipation.

  I grabbed a clip quickly and latched some of my more annoying loose hairs into it before rushing to the door of the study. At this point I stopped, took a calming breath, told myself there was no reason to be in a hurry, obviously from the deep-blue lighting it was still early, and turned the knob slowly.

  By the time I was nearing the cafeteria my pace had re-increased. Rounding the corner, I grabbed a cup of coffee, waved to Sophie, then looked out over the giant room.

  A smile crossed my face. Apparently the only boys crazy enough to be up this early were under twelve. I didn't mind though. In fact, so far I liked hanging out with any of the boys here.

  I noticed that Trevor was eating alone at a table with a book in hand. I quietly scooted in across from him.

  “I didn't take you for the reading type, Trevor.”

  He looked up to me then, a bit startled. But it wasn't long before his features soured. “I'm not, I'm studying.”

  “Oh. . . .” I said, trying to sound empathetic. Situations in the past had long since taught me not to reveal the fact that I enjoyed studying.

  Trevor shrugged and set the book down onto the table.

  “What are you studying about?” I asked.

  He grabbed an apple. “This is . . . actually my favorite subject, Meodonic studies.”

  My eyes widened. “Really? What does it cover?”

  He scoffed. “Nothing too interesting, we don't get to read the good stuff until we get older. Most of this is just geographical . . . or about the language.”

  When he mentioned the last part I suddenly remembered the time I had heard the Meoden speak in the dark language. After all that had happened following that day . . . I had completely forgotten about it until now.

  “So they speak their own language then?”

  Trevor nodded then took a bite out of his apple.

  Still forgoing breakfast, I questioned him further. “How do they have meetings then? With Thoran and Cornelius.”

  “Oh, the Masters speak the language . . . or, at least understand it. It's not really possible for humans to imitate the Meoden dialect properly.”

  I nodded slowly. “But, Sylvanus . . . I mean, the Meoden, they can speak our language, right?”

  That was a close save. I couldn't be positive, but I doubted Sylvanus was brought up a lot around the younger boys. Besides that, I'd managed to avoid any word getting out about my encounter with the creature, I didn't want to blow that now. Luckily, Trevor seemed to miss it. Probably due to my usual mumbled voice.

  “Not all of them, but I know that quite a few of the higher ups do.” His eyebrows arched. “Like Demian.”

  Demian. I'd heard that name a few times now. Finally I had the chance to ask someone about him. Just when I was about to Nathan and a couple other boys came to sit down.

  After saying hello I considered continuing the conversation with Trevor, but . . . the thought of Nathan hearing about the Meoden, though I'm sure he did all the time, was wrong. He was just so young. . . . I switched the table to lighter topics and that is where it stayed for quite a while.

  Although I listened and talked with the group, the first more than the second, it all seemed a bit like background noise. The larger part of my conscious mind was passively, okay obsessively, searching the tables for my friend and . . . the other, yet to be determined.

  It was very bright out by the time my attention turned solely back to the table. Holdan had joined now and even after a polite good morning he looked a little sour. I didn't blame him after yesterday, and, feeling somewhat responsible, I took it upon myself to cheer him up.

  “How did you sleep?” I asked, adding a grotesquely sweet smile.

  He lightened a bit, but held the scowl. “Fine.”

  I tried again. “Did you ever find Master . . .”

  “Boron?” he finished for me. “Yeah. I did.” With that he reached for a plate and began grabbing food.

  When my eyes wandered to Trevor he was eyeing me significantly, apparently I wasn't the only one that could tell Holdan was upset.

  “What did he want?” I tried.

  Holdan's eyes moved up to me, then finally he let out a sigh. “He wanted me to watch the gate for the night.”

  My smile widened over the supposed victory, he was at least looking at me now. “Have you done that before?” I asked.

  He scoffed. “Many times.”

  “What's it like?”

  “You sit and watch a cave, waiting in case anyone shows up, use your imagination.” He looked back down as he said it.

  Whoa, maybe not so victorious. When I looked back at Trevor he was mouthing something. I couldn't usually make these out, but it was an obvious: ‘What did you do?’ I shrugged, then narrowed my eyes at the table. I hadn't done anything, but I could think of a certain, supercilious, boy that might be responsible.

  I reinstated a smile. Obviously it was going to take a little more effort to win Holdan back. “So, are we going to train today?” I asked him.

  He looked up, a little surprised actually, then his face softened slightly. “I guess, if you want to.”

  I nodded and finally he smiled, though it was much smaller than the blinding grin I was used too.

  For the rest of breakfast the boys continued their usual chatter. Slowly but surely Holdan was joining in, due chiefly to my efforts. To be honest I think I was just glad for a challenge I had at least a chance at succeeding in. it was a nice distraction from the two I had no clue with.

  When Derrith joined us he informed
me that Jaden and Ikovos were out scouting this morning and wouldn't be back until lunch. Once again, I was grateful for his informative attitude, if not his uncanny knowledge of my concerns. Either way, my mind settled and I was able to talk calmly with the other boys as we ate, resuming my attempts at making Holdan not mad at me.

  Trevor and the younger boys left eventually, followed by Derrith. I didn't notice that it was just me and Holdan talking until I heard Sophie's voice.

  “Having fun, you two?”

  I looked up, startled. She was standing next to our table with a warm smile. I realized, then, that the entire cafeteria was completely cleared. For some reason in my mind I was a very observant person, but that didn't really fit in with the amount of times I missed stuff like this. Holdan, for example, didn't seem surprised.

  “Yeah,” he said and I smiled.

  “Sorry, Sophie. Do you need us to get out of here?”

  She waved a hand. “Oh, no, no. I'm just used to being the last one to leave the kitchen. You guys can stay here as long as you like.” I smiled then she gestured with the mug in her hand. “Well, I'm off to go pack . . . actually, Evelyn, I wanted to ask a favor of you. I'm going to be gone till late tonight and I was hoping you could set the food out for dinner.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, sure. . . .What about lunch?” I asked.

  She waved a hand again. “No lunch today. I just told the boys to eat outside.”

  “Oh . . . ,” I mumbled. She didn't give me time to figure out why the statement bothered me so much.

  “The food is in the pantry, like I said, just set it out. And don't be shy about asking some of these strong, young men to help you out.” She ruffled Holdan's hair as she said it then waved and started walking off.

  I blinked once at her rapid departure. “Wait, Sophie?” I called. She turned around. “Ah . . . where are you going?”

  She grinned. “Just a short trip to one of the towns. Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it.” With that she vanished through the doorway.

  I watched after her, still a bit disoriented by her presence. She was so upbeat, so straightforward. A frown crossed my face. I wish I could disorient people. . . .

  Holdan pulled me back to reality. “I guess we have the place to ourselves then.”

  I smiled, but felt suddenly awkward in the empty room. “Yeah. . . .”

  He leaned forward. “And don't worry, I'll help you out tonight if you like.”

  I nodded, then couldn't hold back a large smile, it seemed I'd gone overboard with the cheer up Holdan plan.

  He must have taken the grin as gratefulness for his proposed chivalry, because he brightened even further. “So, what about you?” he asked. “What did you do last night?”

  I took a sip of coffee to excuse time to review my answer, then smiled at the simpleness of it. “Slept, actually. I went in my room and just . . . fell over. I guess I was tired.”

  He looked unnecessarily pleased at this. and though I couldn't think of a reason why, I found myself suddenly irritated at him . . . like I had been two days ago in the woods.

  “What's the weather like today?” I asked pleasantly. I wasn't about to let my unfounded emotions overpower my logical reasoning.

  Holdan frowned. “Nice, by regular standards.” He leaned on one hand. “A sunny, cloudless, clear, blue, sky.”

  I joined in the frown. “Any wind at least?”

  He shook his head back and forth and I sighed.

  “Maybe we should just stay inside today,” I joked.

  He pursed his lips, sat up straight, and looked around. “Hey, that's not such a bad idea. We could use the empty cafeteria.”

  “No lunch,” I added.

  We both smiled.

  “. . . Though, the sparring could get a little messy,” I pointed out, taking another sip of coffee.

  He laughed. “Hey, good job yesterday, by the way. I never got to tell you, but . . . you did well.”

  I felt heat rising in my face at the mere mention of the uncomfortable situation. In an attempt to smother it, I put on a wide grin. “Up to your standards then?”

  He waved a hand playfully. “Oh yeah, you smoked the standards.”

  I laughed then a thought crossed my mind. I eyed him. “Speaking of sparring. . .” he raised an eyebrow, “. . . someone promised to show me something after I fought with him.”

  He grinned flatly. “Oh, that's all. Don't worry, I won't complain about it as much as you do.”

  There it was again, the slight annoyance. It was easier to ignore it this time though, with the prospect of magic ahead of me.

  I smirked excitedly and he held out his hand. We both looked at it. . . .

  After a few seconds I glanced up to his face. With Ikovos and . . . even Jaden, it had always happened instantly so I thought he might have changed his mind. His face was concentrated though. I looked back down and sure enough, after a few more seconds, a small flame lit in his hand.

  It almost looked more like the magic Ikovos had used than anything, maybe because it started a deep grey. As it grew though, it resembled fire more and more until a cool silver sparkled at its tip.

  I smiled and looked up at him. “That's really beautiful, Holdan.”

  He grinned, eyes on me now.

  “Does everyone have a different color then?”

  He looked back down, resuming his concentration. “Yes, well, at least here we do.” I stared at the silver flames again. “I suppose eventually they'd have to overlap.”

  I nodded absently. My attention was much more engrossed with the fire. After a while I noticed that it was, once again, a poor substitute for the red flames . . . but I wouldn't let my thoughts rest on that, and eventually, all too quickly, the fire disappeared, leaving only an empty palm.

  “Doesn't your hand burn at all?” I asked, looking up at him.

  He nodded down. “Feel for yourself.”

  My throat constricted. Thoran wasn't precisely clear when he mentioned the whole boundaries slash etiquette thing, but I had a feeling this might apply. On the other hand, I didn't want to make things weird between me and Holdan. . . . Besides, he's like five years older than me anyways.

  I looked down and touched a finger quickly to and from his palm.

  “As long as you're the one conjuring it, it won't burn you.”

  I nodded. “Mmm.” His skin could have been anywhere between zero and five-hundred degrees for all I'd noticed. My physical sensitivities always sort of stop working properly in the midst of emotional distress . . . I wonder if that's gonna cause some problems if I ever get in a battle.

  Holdan interrupted my contemplation. “Oh! Blast it. I forgot, I was supposed to go see Master Thoran after breakfast.”

  He looked at me and I waved a hand. “Go ahead.”

  He started to get up. “Great, I'll catch up with you later, kay?”

  I laughed slightly. He was all over the place sometimes. “Yeah, I’ll see ya later.”

  With one more wide grin, now at maximum intensity, he turned around and walked towards the doorway.

  I didn't watch him go. Instead I let out a breath and dropped my head onto the table. I was completely wasted, socially wasted. It was strange because I thought that I’d been handling the morning really well. With Holdan though. . . . I didn’t want to have any dissensions with anyone here, but sometimes it really didn’t seem like he was twenty-three . . . and he seemed a bit insincere . . . maybe I was just tired still.

  Ugh, what time is it anyways? With a moan I looked up to search for a clock. My heart jumped frantically when I saw someone sitting across from me.

  “Good, god.” I gasped and put a hand to my chest. It was all a sudden reaction that I felt immediately stupid for. . . but at least I hadn't screamed. . .

  Jaden smirked across from me. Then there was a moment of silence when he should have been apologizing for frightening me or explaining that he hadn't meant to. . .

  He didn't.

  “How long hav
e you been sitting there?” I asked, attempting to catch my breath.

  His gaze stayed steady, like always -like every blasted time I saw him.

  “Long enough to pass Holdan on the way out.”

  I rolled my eyes excessively. The adrenaline from the scare must have been overpowering my better judgment, but it didn't matter much now either way.

  He looked shocked. “What was that for?”

  I eyed him. “What was that for?” I mimicked, then shook my head. “I just don't have the patience to deal with your attitude right now, Jaden.”

  His eyes widened.

  There, not steady any more, are they?

  “Meaning what?” he asked, his body already leaving its casual, relaxed, posture.

  “Meaning, I just spent the entire morning trying to get Holdan to speak to me again because of how you acted yesterday, and I really don‘t need you giving me a hard time for it.”

  God, when I get in my right mind, I'm gonna kill myself for this.

  He cocked his head haughtily, some trace of a smirk returning to his face. “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you two had gotten so close.”

  I straightened up scoffing. His smile vanished. “Don't you dare. This has nothing to do with that and you know it.”

  He eyed me incredulously. “Oh really? Then mind informing me what it is about?”

  I took a heavy breath, if I spoke loud enough he might not hear the shuddering. “I already told you, it's about how you acted.” Nope, shuddering still came through.

  We were both staring hard at each other now. I couldn't believe how quickly we had gotten here, evidently neither could he. He shook his head dismally. “You're insane. Yesterday you're all sweet and apologetic, and today I get this?”

  My face went hot. “Excuse me for at least trying to be nice! In the future I'll just follow your example and be rude everyday!”

  He stood up. “I'm not rude! And I don't have to take this trash.”

  I threw my hands down on the table and stood up as well. “Neither do I. I live here too now, so you can't just say whatever you want to me.”

  He waved a hand. “No problem. I'll just stop talking to you.”

  I nodded quickly. “Good plan, that'll work out great when you have to teach me to use magic.”