A Light in the Dark_Survival of the Fittest

by Christina Kirby

  “I said,” she wiggled a jersey in the air, “do you think Cohen would like this?”

  Brie nodded. “I’m sure he would.”

  Jess stared at her and tapped her foot, a signal for her to say more.

  “Um, it’s cool?”

  “Ugh.” Jessica hung it back on the wall. It seemed cool wasn’t what she was going for. “He probably already has ten of them anyway.”

  While Brie was thrilled Jess had a good thing going with Cohen, by the time mid-afternoon rolled around they’d peered in shop windows and rummaged through vintage records until Brie’s feet hurt from standing.

  “This is hopeless.” Jess leaned her head against the mirror in a store and watched while her breath fogged up the glass. “Why is this so hard? I never have this much trouble buying gifts for people. People love my gifts, don’t they?”

  “Definitely. You are the queen when it comes to gift giving.”

  “See. So, what is my deal today?”

  Brie collapsed onto a chair situated near the wall and did her best to keep from groaning in relief. “I think it’s because you like him so much.”

  Jessica turned around and then slid to the floor with her back resting against the pole. “You’re right, I do, and I never expected it. I mean where was Cohen last year or the year before that? He was right in front of me, but I didn’t see him.”

  Brie smiled. This was the first boyfriend Jessica had had in a long time who was a good match and who seemed to like Jessica as much as she liked him. It was nice to see even if it did spark a faint twinge of envy. Not that she wanted Cohen, but a chance to be with someone who was into her for her. She sighed. Maybe when the semester ended she’d get a chance.

  A little voice in the back of her head spoke up. As if Bailey would be interested now. After the trouble Theo caused him. Too much complication where you’re concerned. She straightened her spine and ignored the doubts creeping in. Today wasn’t about her or Bailey. As soon as the semester was over she’d find a way to set things right, but first . . .

  “Listen, I think you’re going about this the wrong way.”

  “Okay,” Jess perked up. “What do you suggest?”

  “You need something more personal.”

  “Like lingerie?”

  Brie pressed her lips together and nodded once slowly, “There’s that, or maybe something a little more from the heart?”

  “Oh, right. Okay.” Jessica’s hands pounded her knees. “I can do this.”

  “You can do this,” Brie echoed. “What’s he into other than football, and you, of course?”

  “Music, obvi.” Jessica tapped the top of her knee with her fingers. “Oh! There’s this jazz guy he loves.” Jessica shot to her feet and then held out a hand to Brie to yank her out of her chair. “He’s here in London. Maybe we could find him and have him sign something or get some tickets or I don’t know something. Let’s go.”

  Brie laughed as Jessica pulled her through the department store and out onto the sidewalk. Then, Jessica froze. Brie crashed into her back, “Hey, why did you . . .” And, then she followed her gaze. It was Bailey, but he wasn’t alone. He was walking beside some tall, dark haired girl on the opposite side of the street.

  “Who’s that?”

  Brie was too busy staring to offer any sort of suggestion as to who the girl might be. It seemed the end of the semester hadn’t arrived soon enough. She couldn’t blame him though, could she? Had she actually expected someone like Bailey Honeycutt to wait for her forever?

  “Listen, it doesn’t matter.”

  “Like hell it doesn’t. He’s crazy about you and there’s no way he waited all semester and then up and changed his mind right here at the end.” Jessica stepped toward the edge of the curb. “Bai—”

  “No.” Brie yanked Jess back by the arm. “Don’t. He doesn’t owe me an explanation. We aren’t a couple. He’s free to do what he wants.”

  She willed her feet to move, but they wouldn’t listen. Instead, she stood there as though stuck in wet clay while she watched him laugh and then hold the door open for the girl beside him.

  ~ ~ ~

  A bell overhead chimed as Bailey let the store door close behind him. While Simone moved toward a rack full of Wellington boots decorated in various patterns, he glanced through the storefront window. People were moving down the sidewalks in both directions, hurrying from one place to another to get out of the biting wind. It wasn’t the best weather for shopping, but he was running out of time.

  A man with a poodle strode by and then a woman on her cell. The sight was similar to L.A. in that way, but in few others. There were no palm trees lining the streets or scantily clad pedestrians, but there was life, hurried, busy life.

  Movement across the street caught his eye and as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing as a bus drove by, breaking his line of sight. He could’ve sworn he’d seen . . . he tried to see through the bus windows to the other sidewalk. Move.

  “Hey, what do you think of these for Lexie? Don’t you think she’d love them?” Simone came to stand beside him at the window. “What are you looking at out there?”

  “I don’t know. I thought I saw someone, but now I’m not sure.”

  “And, by someone do you mean Brie?”

  With one hand bracing the wall, Bailey turned his head this way and that, but whoever it had been, they were gone.

  “You should call her. You’re down to what? Two days?”

  He gave up and turned around. “Thirty-six hours.”

  Simone grinned. “But, who’s counting?”

  He laughed and then shrugged. “I’ve waited this long. I can wait another day or two.”

  “So, what do you think about the boots?”

  He tried to picture them on his sister-in-law. Hot pink rubber boots covered in old-fashioned clad nurses sporting little white hats. “She’ll like them.”

  “Yeah, she will.” While Simone dug out her wallet, Bailey rubbed a hand over his face. The last few weeks had been long. The entire time he’d worked on his final paper he’d wanted nothing more than to discuss it with Brie, but he’d done as promised and kept his distance. That time was almost over.

  She was more to him than a simple conquest. He’d felt that way all along, but now, after being kept away from her, he was sure. He missed her laugh and her company, the sound of her voice when her passion for art burned inside her, but damn if he wasn’t desperate to touch her. Thirty-six hours. And then, he wasn’t sure he’d ever stop touching her. He shook his head to clear it. Better not to think about touching any part of Brie unless he wanted to go outside in the cold to take the edge off.

  “So, what about you and that actor? Did you cut him loose yet?”’

  “Oh yeah. A few weeks ago.” Simone thanked the clerk and hefted her large shopping bag off the counter. “His time here was almost over and, to be honest, he was getting boring. I mean he’s hot, but he doesn’t talk about anything other than himself. At some point it’s like, get over yourself already, you know?”

  Bailey nodded and held out a hand for her bag. He did know. He’d been touring for years and after a while the girls waiting to meet them backstage all ran together. Chicks with their cleavage pouring out of their shirts, or skirts that left little to the imagination, guys showing off tattoos of their faces or instruments, young girls sporting tops with the band’s picture ironed on, forty-somethings looking for attention or a quick screw to fulfill some sort of fantasy. His nineteen year-old-self had loved the thrill of it all, but a decade and near-death experience later he wanted more.

  He wanted Brie.

  Simone bumped him with her hip jarring him back to the present. “Let’s grab some dinner before I have to go back.”

  “What’re you in the mood for?”

/>   “If you’re buying, something fancy and delicious. I’m so over the catering on set.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Brie held the door open to the coffee shop and allowed Jessica to pass. The coffee had helped her chilled hands, but its warmth hadn’t reached the iciness in her chest. They stood on the sidewalk and stared up and down the row in search of a taxi. It was time to go home.

  “Thanks again for helping me with Cohen’s present.”

  Brie nodded. “He’s going to love it.”

  The signed vinyl they’d picked up probably would’ve been enough, but Jessica hadn’t been satisfied. Determined, she had dragged a numb Brie to the club where the jazz player Cohen loved performed regularly on the off chance he’d be there, and to their surprise and delight, he had been. The signed swag was now tucked under Jessica’s protective arm where they stood huddled together.

  “He better love it.” Jessica smiled and leaned her head on Brie’s shoulder, her fluffy hair tickling her cheek. “I’m sorry about Bailey, but you know, it may not be as it seemed. She could be anyone.”

  Brie sipped her coffee. Jess was right. The girl could be anyone. She could be anyone to him, and for him, without any of the same hang ups or drama.

  “Brie.”

  At the sound of her name, she clutched her cup tight enough she feared she would crush it between her fingers. Jessica turned first, her reactions not paralyzed by things she felt for the man standing behind them.

  “Hey, Bailey.” Jessica nudged a subtle elbow into Brie’s side to remind her to blink or breathe or show any sign of life. “Who’s your friend?”

  Brie turned then, as much out of curiosity as to keep herself from looking more foolish than she already did. Why was he in the city? And, today of all days? A part of her wanted to get a better look at the girl he was with, but a much bigger part of her wished she could change the scene altogether and paint herself into a new setting—one far away from Bailey.

  He met her gaze, but remained quiet. The mood around the foursome remained suspended in time, the silence growing uncomfortable.

  “I’m Simone,” the pretty girl with the brown hair finally said after glancing at Bailey and then back at the two of them. “I’m a friend of Bailey’s from California.”

  Jessica shook her hand, but had the decency as Brie’s best friend not to look overjoyed by the action. “That’s cool. So, are you in town for a visit?”

  Brie tried to listen to Simone’s answer, but couldn’t hear what she was saying over the deafening buzzing in her ears. Bailey had yet to say anything other than her name. Instead, he kept staring at her like he was trying to memorize her face. As his eyes bored into hers, her hand curled into a ball inside her coat pocket. She wanted to reach out, to ask him a hundred questions about what was happening with his classes, to tell him how sorry she was, to try to make things right, but her mouth wouldn’t work.

  Bailey glanced toward Simone, “We need a minute. Do you guys mind?”

  Simone shook her head and stayed with Jessica while Bailey took ahold of Brie’s arm and pulled her into the alley between the two brick buildings behind them.

  If anyone else handled her that way she would’ve fought back, insisted she could walk on her own, but she couldn’t do more than let him lead her away. Maybe this was when he was going to tell her he was through waiting. Finished before they’d gotten started.

  Brie glanced down to where his hand lingered on her bicep. She could feel the heat from his body transferring to hers, but then he pulled away seeming to realize he was still touching her.

  “Listen, Brie—”

  “You don’t have to say anything. You’re free to do what you want.” She glanced back to the sidewalk where Jessica and Simone were talking. “She’s really pretty.”

  “Simone?” Bailey glanced at her like he’d never seen her before and then returned his focus to Brie. “Yeah, I guess, but listen, Brie that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Oh?”

  “No, I wanted to apologize about the pictures and the news.” He paused to look up and down the sidewalk as though paranoid they were being followed. “I never wanted to drag you into that side of my life. For me, it goes along with the rest of it, but you never asked to be a part of it.”

  He ran his hands over his face and met her eyes again. “I should’ve kept my distance like you asked, but I . . .” He shrugged, “I couldn’t.” He stopped fidgeting, stopped looking around as though nervous and reached out a hand. The air between them sizzled with heat as though they were standing in their own world.

  As his palm cupped her cheek, relief at his touch radiated through her and she tilted her head until she was leaning into his hand. He ran a thumb over her cheek. “There’s something about you, Brie.”

  Warmth started in her face and slid all over her body. “Bailey those pictures and the trouble at school were not your fault.”

  “But, they were. The lack of privacy, the interest in my personal life—”

  “Again, not your fault. Sure, it may have been amplified because of what you do, but that doesn’t make it your fault.” She stopped leaning into his touch as realization dawned on her. “That’s what you told Mr. Catling’s isn’t it? You told him it was your fault?”

  “It doesn’t matter what I told him. The important thing is that you get to keep your job.”

  She shook her head. “You didn’t need to do that, Bailey. I’m a big girl. I was just as much to blame as you.”

  “But, it doesn’t matter what happens to me. For me, it’s school, but for you, it’s a career. It’s your future.”

  Aware their voices were rising, but uncaring, she stood taller. He didn’t get to swoop in and sacrifice himself for her. She didn’t want to owe him anything. The days of owing anyone were over. “Don’t belittle what you’re doing here. You, yourself, said you were searching for something else, something more. It’s more than just a few classes for you, Bailey. I know it is.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “What happened in Mr. Catling’s office? What did you do?”

  Bailey shook his head and took a step back from her. “I agreed to do what I said I’d do from the beginning and until today I’ve done a pretty good job of staying away from you. But, it sure as hell hasn’t been easy.” He grinned at her, his boyish charm returning. “I hope it’s been better for you though, me staying away.”

  Better for her? She wanted to shake him. If by better he meant sleepless nights and constant anxiety, sure. Men could be such gits. Her life had been anything but better by his absence.

  She tossed her coffee into the wastebasket to her right and crossed her arms over her chest. “You make it sound so one-sided, like I don’t have a mind of my own. Well, I assure you, I do.”

  “What?”

  “You’re standing there acting like I didn’t want you to kiss me. Like I wasn’t thrilled to see you every chance I got.” Her foot tapped against the stones. “Damnit, Bailey, don’t you understand? You’re all I think about.”

  His hands were on her then, gripping her upper arms as he dragged her against him. He pressed is mouth to hers, not gentle like the first time, but desperate, hungry. She moaned against his mouth desperate for him to keep holding her, keep kissing her. All the pent-up frustrations of the last few weeks melting away as they stood pressed against each other until he jerked back.

  With red lips and eyes on fire he leaned in near her ear. “I won’t do this to you. I made a promise to Mr. Catling and I’m going to keep my promise, but Brie, when this semester ends, I’m coming for you.”

  He strode away from her and then proceeded to nod to an open-mouthed Jessica as he walked away with Simone following close behind.

  Jessica hurried over to the entrance of the alley where Brie was standing frozen. “Holy shit. That was hot.
”

  Brie touched her fingers to her still tingling mouth. “You have no idea.”

  Chapter 17

  A few days after London and the kiss, Brie’s nerves reached breaking point. Jessica said it wasn’t so much nerves as anticipation of what was to come, but whatever the case, Brie needed to keep busy. She couldn’t take another minute of fantasizing about Bailey or his perfect hands or perfect arms or his shoulders that made her want to hold on and . . . She gave her head a hard shake to clear away the images she’d managed to conjure and then hit the stairs in search of an escape.

  Jessica unhooked her arms from around Cohen’s neck where they were sitting locked together on the sofa and sat up. “Where are you going?”

  “Splash Pad for a bit.” Brie slid into her jacket and wound her scarf around her neck, but as she did, Jessica pounced her at the door.

  “But, why?” Jess turned her body so her back was to Cohen. “Bailey could show up here at any time.” She tried to whisper, but her words came out more like a hiss. “He said he’d come when grades went out and they’re out.”

  Brie sighed. She was well-aware most grades had been posted. Hell, she’d posted hers yesterday, but that didn’t mean anything. Bailey could show up tonight, or the next day, or she could shrivel up and die while waiting for him to touch her. What was it Jess had said about how she was going to turn into a useless old prune?

  “I know what he said, but I can’t sit in my room another second. I’m going to go mad up there.” She’d spent an hour cruising the internet followed by an hour attempting to sketch something other than Bailey’s face and every other part of Bailey that had filtered through her mind. And, considering her bed was within her line of sight, several of his more interesting parts had crossed her mind.

  “Look, if he comes by, I’ll tell him where you are.” Jess bit her lip and glanced over her shoulder at Cohen. “Assuming we hear the door.”