Possessed by You

by Jo-Anna Walker

  I bristled at the harsh tone of Evan’s voice and met his cold stare head on. I wasn’t in the mood for his shit or anyone else’s for that matter. “He’s here for me so drop it, Evan.”

  Evan got in Brett’s face, forcing us apart. “I’ll hit you again, asshole.”

  “I don’t think this is the right time for that, Evan. There are more important things to deal with first.” Brett’s voice was calm, collected as his gaze bored into Evan’s.

  My older brother backed down, a huff leaving his lips as he spun around and headed back down the hall.

  I sighed as tears stung my eyes and brushed them away. Needing to find out what happened with my dad, I went in search of my jackass brother when Ethan came out of a room.

  He smiled down at me and pulled me into an embrace.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, hugging him tight.

  “Heart attack.”

  I gasped, my eyes widening. “How?”

  Ethan looked away, his jaw clenching.

  “This fucker got in an argument with him, that’s how,” Evan snapped coming up beside us.

  “Excuse me?” I asked, gaping at my brother’s.

  Ethan’s eyes narrowed as he took a step towards Evan. “That’s not fucking true and you know it, asshole.”

  “Stop. Please.” I placed a hand on both of their chests, keeping them separated. “Someone tell me what happened.”

  “They got in a fight over why he was in jail and how stupid he was for getting caught. Dad said that he taught him better,” Evan said, keeping his eyes locked on Ethan.

  “He did teach me better but I was sloppy. It’s my fucking fault I got caught. No one else’s. Mine,” Ethan growled.

  I didn’t know exactly what Ethan did to get thrown in jail but I knew that they wouldn’t tell me. I didn’t care about that. I just wanted my family whole again. I wanted everyone to get along even if it meant bashing some heads together.

  “I just want to know what’s going on with dad,” I stated, pushing Evan back.

  “Your father is resting.”

  The three of us turned to a deep voice. A tall man sporting a white coat walked up to us, his green eyes softening.

  He held out his hand to me first, his mouth lifting into a warm smile. “I’m Dr. Charles.”

  “Evvie,” I said, returning his handshake.

  Introductions were said between him and my brothers but I couldn’t help the tumble of anxiety in my belly.

  “How’s our father doing?” Evan asked, his mouth set in a grim line.

  “He’s stabilized. We’ll keep him here under observation for the next couple of days,” Dr. Charles answered.

  A breath left me on a whoosh. “Can we see him?”

  “Of course,” the doctor smiled. “I’ll be back in a bit to check on him.”

  “You guys go in first,” I told Ethan and Evan. Something held me back as I watched them walk into the room that held our father.

  I wanted to see him. I wanted to make sure that he was truly okay but my body froze in place.

  The hairs on the back of my neck tingled and my shoulders relaxed when a warm hand cupped the back of my neck.

  “Are you okay?” Brett asked, rubbing his thumb up and down the side of my throat.

  Was I okay? A part of me felt lost, like I had no control.

  “I’ve been there, Evvie,” he whispered.

  I looked up at him, not realizing once again that I had spoken out loud.

  His blue eyes were distant, like he was remembering a terrible pain. Losing both of his parents at the same time must have been awful. I couldn’t imagine and then to have his real mother out there, doing God knows what, made my stomach cringe.

  I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him with everything in me. A lump formed in my throat as he returned my embrace. We may not have been together but he being there gave me strength.

  “Will you come see my dad with me?” I asked, looking up at him.

  He nodded and kept a firm grip on my hand leading me into the room where my father slept.

  When we walked past the curtain, I gasped. Anxiety swirled in my body at the sight of tubes and wires covering my dad. He was still, his skin ashen as he rested.

  I wanted out of there. My heart started beating fast against my ribs, pounding hard in my ears.

  Rough calloused hands cupped my face forcing me to look into Brett’s deep blue gaze. “Look at me, Evvie.”

  My breathing picked up and I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t control the raging urge to run. To bolt. To escape my problems. Daddy.

  A sob left my lips, my heart threatening to explode.

  “Damn it, Evvie. Look. At. Me,” Brett said, his voice firm.

  My eyes popped open and I focused on him.

  “Listen to the sound of my voice. Breathe with me, Evvie.” He took a breath.

  I followed his actions and took several cleansing breaths of my own, easing the impending panic attack.

  His handsome face relaxed and he pulled me into an embrace.

  “Please don’t leave me.” I couldn’t deal with this on my own. My brothers being there was one thing but having Brett nearby helped more.

  “I’m not leaving,” Brett said and kissed my hair. He wasn’t leaving at the moment but he would after. I had no doubt about it.

  He released me and pulled me around the curtain that surrounded my father. Ethan and Evan were sitting in chairs by his bed. I could feel their eyes on Brett. But I didn’t care. I was only able to focus on the large man lying before me, sleeping so still in the hospital bed.

  My dad, big bad Eddie Neal looked at peace. Like he was ready to go at any moment and if he did, he would be fine with it. But I wasn’t fine with it. I needed him. He was the only man in my life that never intentionally hurt me. Yes, he going to jail hurt but that wasn’t intentional. He didn’t mean to cause me that pain.

  Brett lied to me. Told me he cheated on me when he didn’t. What the hell was I doing? Why was I putting myself through this torture? For love? The sex?

  A sob escaped my lips as I fell to my knees. I grabbed my dad’s hand, holding it tight in mine. My chest constricted, my throat tightening as I cried.

  “Fuck,” Ethan mumbled, his voice thick.

  Shuffling sounded around me and I looked up to find myself alone with my father.

  “Brett?” I called out, my voice small.

  “I’m here, Evvie,” Brett said, coming around the corner of the curtain holding a chair. He placed it behind me and sat, pulling me into his lap. He pushed us close to the bed, wrapped his arms around my middle as I held my dad’s hand.

  “You don’t have to stay.”

  “I’m here for you.” Brett rubbed small circles on my back, gently massaging his fingers into my muscles.

  “Why?”

  His eyes narrowed. “You asked me to come in here with you.”

  I huffed and turned back around. This wasn’t the time or the place. My father needed positive energy flowing around him. Not my messed up relationship with my…with Brett.

  “I don’t know what we’ll do if things take a turn for the worse,” I whispered.

  “You all are strong. You’ll make it through this. Your dad is a fighter from what I hear.”

  A small laugh escaped my lips. “That’s an understatement. I remember seeing him take down four cops because they handcuffed him in front of me.” I smiled at the memory.

  “God, Evvie. What you’ve been through.”

  I turned to Brett, keeping my hand in my dad’s. “Don’t judge him. My dad is a good man. He loves us. He just made some stupid choices and he had to pay for them.”

  Brett cupped my cheek. “I don’t judge but I do worry when it comes to you.”

  My stomach quivered. “Why?”

  He frowned. “Why do you keep asking that?”

  “Never mind. This isn’t the right time anyways,” I mumbled. I brought my dad’s hand up to my lips and kissed his knuckle
s, praying that my strength would pour into him. He needed to survive this. He had so much left to live for.

  “Hey sis.”

  I looked up as Ethan walked back into the small area. I rose from my spot on Brett’s lap and wrapped my arms around Ethan, giving him the hug that I knew he wouldn’t get from anyone else.

  His big body tensed before he returned the embrace, crumbling against me. “It’s all my fucking fault.”

  A sob escaped my lips. “No. It’s not.”

  “Evvie, I caused the heart attack.”

  I pulled away and stared up at him. “You listen to me. You did not cause this. You hear me?” I asked, my voice firm.

  He shook his head, looking anywhere but at me. “You weren’t there. It was fucking brutal, Ev.”

  “You guys have fought before.”

  “This was different. If he doesn’t wake up from this…” His breath caught, his eyes glossing over.

  A hard lump formed in my throat and I squeezed him, wrapping my arms around his hard waist. Guilt radiated off of him as I hugged him. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say to make this all better

  For the first moment in my life, I felt a tug, a pull at my soul to pray. I wasn’t a spiritual person or even religious. My mom grew up in the church but stopped going when she met my father but at this moment, I was desperate. I would do anything to help ease the ache in my family’s lives, so I prayed. For what I wasn’t sure.

  A deep guttural groan sounded from the bed.

  A sigh of relief left my lips as I met the blue eyes of my father. His sapphire gaze, although tired and strained, bored into mine.

  Thank you.

  Brett and I left Ethan alone with my father. As much as I wanted to talk to him, I knew that Ethan needed him more. The guilt that was eating at him needed to be eased before he could move on.

  “Are you alright?” Brett asked me as we made our way to the waiting room.

  “I guess.” I flopped down in a chair and leaned my head against the wall, my emotions weighing me down.

  Brett took off his jacket and placed it in his lap, bunching it into a pillow. “Rest.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t sleep.”

  His deep gaze met mine. “Even if you don’t sleep, it’ll help make you feel better.”

  “Yeah right.” But I took his word for it and leaned against him, resting my head in his lap.

  His heavy arm curled around my waist while his other hand brushed my hair off my forehead. “I love you,” he whispered.

  A lump formed in my throat. I love you, too.

  I wanted him to explain what happened. I wanted everything back to the way it used to be. I wanted him. The real, raw Brett MacLean.

  I rolled onto my back and squeezed my eyes shut, tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t want him to see me cry. I didn’t want to expose the pain he had caused. All of the emotions since Brett had broken up with me and now everything with my father, crashed into me. It was suffocating as the sorrow gripped my core.

  I sat up and leaned my head in my hands. I couldn’t do this.

  “Evvie,” Brett whispered, wrapping his arms around my middle.

  “Stop. Please. God, it hurts too much,” I sobbed.

  “I’m so fucking sorry. For everything. For me. For us. For your dad. I’m sorry.”

  I looked up at him over my shoulder and wiped my cheeks free of my tears. “I can’t do this. I can’t be near you and not touch you.”

  “I’m touching you right now,” Brett said, swallowing hard.

  My stomach hardened as nausea set in. I knew what I had to do. “I’m quitting the club. I can’t be there. I can’t be around you.”

  “Evvie, please. Please stay.”

  I shook my head and looked away, my heart breaking at the hurt in his voice. Yeah, well he hurt me too. But then why did I feel so damn guilty? “I’ll stay until you find a replacement but after that, I’m gone. I’m moving on.” I met his gaze. “I’m forgetting you.”

  He winced and he pulled away, releasing me completely.

  A cold shiver ran down my spine as I watched him shut down in front of me.

  His eyes turned icy, his jaw tense as he rose to his feet. “I wish your dad well.” And with that he left. Again.

  ***

  Two weeks later, there was still no replacement at the club so I was forced to stay. I could just leave but that wasn’t in my nature and I wouldn’t do that to Jake or Tatiana. As much as I was pissed at Brett, I wouldn’t take it out on my friends.

  Paying little attention to the things around me, I willed myself to be happy. To move on. It’s the reason I was quitting. It was too hard and I wasn’t able to get my job done knowing he was around.

  “Hey Ev, can you stock up Brett’s bar?”

  My back stiffened at the mention of his name and I turned to Jake, pasting a small smile on my face. “Sure,” I said, my voice small.

  Jake’s eyes saddened as he handed me three bottles of rum. “I can do it if it’s an issue.”

  I shook my head. “No. It’s fine. Really.” I had to face him sooner or later.

  I turned and headed for the office that had changed my life. Memories of our first kiss forced their way into my mind. Brett’s dominating control over my body as he kissed the hell out of me. God, would I ever get over him? Not if I stay here.

  Once reaching his office, I lightly knocked on the door but got no reply. Brett had probably left early like he had been doing for the past couple of nights.

  I took a breath and opened the door, walking into the office when I saw it. Them.

  Claire had Brett pressed up against the wall, rubbing her lower half over his.

  My stomach sunk, my heart raced as I stood there, staring at the both of them as she ground her hips into him. “Kiss me, Brett. I know you want me. You’re not with that little whore anymore so what will it hurt?”

  Brett pushed her back and snarled. “I don’t want you.”

  “But you need me, handsome,” she crooned, licking up the side of his neck.

  They didn’t notice me. Brett was too busy trying to pry her hands off of him.

  “No, I fucking don’t.”

  “You’re stuck with me for life and I’ll do anything to make you mine.”

  My vision clouded, a sob escaping my lips. Brett released her. His eyes widened when they landed on me.

  Claire smirked and ran a hand down his chest. “As much as I don’t like you, you’re more than welcome to join us.”

  Bile rose to my throat and I shook my head in disgust.

  Brett shoved out of her grip. “Get out,” he told her before meeting my gaze.

  Her face reddened. “I don’t fucking think so. We were just getting started.” She reached for him again.

  “And now it’s ended. Get. Out,” Brett snarled, not taking his eyes from me.

  “Bitch,” Claire mumbled. “I’ll be back Brett. You can’t fucking get rid of me that easily.”

  “I don’t care. Threaten me all you want. Just get the fuck out,” he yelled.

  Her eyes widened before she glared at him and gave him the middle finger. She stopped in front of me. Her eyes were clouded, glassy as she tried to focus on me. “He will be mine again.” She shouldered past me in a huff and slammed the door shut behind her.

  My heart jumped and a breath left me on a whoosh. Why was I still there? I should leave. I needed to leave. To get out of there and never look back. I needed to forget him. He was the only man that could destroy me. Take away something that is mine. My heart.

  “Evvie,” he whispered, tentatively taking another step towards me.

  I looked up into warm blue eyes that captivated me from the very beginning. His dark stubble lined his jaw, begging for the touch of my fingers. My gaze travelled down his body. His clothes were wrinkled and images of Claire rubbing herself against him made my stomach twist with fury. My vision clouded and the next thing I knew, I slapped him. “I hate you. I hate yo
u for what you’ve done to me. I hate you for changing me.” I punched his chest as a hard sob escaped my lips. “I hate you for making me fall in love with you.” I continued punching him, my arm muscles burning.

  He didn’t stop me. He let me hit him as I cried out my anger.

  “I love you,” he said softly.

  “No!” I screamed. “If you loved me, you would be with me!”

  He reached for my hands but let them fall to his sides instead. His shoulders slumped and he didn’t say anything. He had no response and that pissed me off even more. “I’m sorry you walked in on that.”

  “Why? Why would you go back to her?”

  “I didn’t,” he mumbled.

  I pushed him, punching him in the shoulder. “You could have had me if you only explained. God, I’ve thrown myself at you like an obsessed tween. I’ve begged, pleaded for you to tell me what’s going on. So don’t you tell me that you can’t have me ‘cause you haven’t even tried.”

  “I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry for everything I put you through, Evvie,” he said, his voice thick.

  I covered my face and wiped the tears from under my eyes. “Do you know how I felt walking in on you and Claire?”

  He looked away.

  “No? ‘Cause I’m going to tell you. I felt like you shoved your hand into my chest, grabbed my heart and pulled it out. You told me that I have that control. You also told that me that you were mine. ‘Mind, body and soul, I’m yours, Evvie.’ Do you remember that?” I asked, grabbing onto his arm.

  He shoved out my grip but wouldn’t meet my gaze.

  “Do you?” I pressed.

  Brett spun on me, forcing me to take a step back. “Yes, I fucking remember. I remember everything. About you. About us. Every breath, every sound, every fucking smell, I remember it.”

  Tears stung my eyes. “Tell me why you broke up with me then. The real reason.”

  “No.”

  I took a step in front of him and pushed him. “Tell me. I at least deserve that much,” I demanded.

  “I can’t have you because I got her fucking pregnant,” he yelled.

  My mouth fell open at Brett’s admission. Nausea settled in my belly, threatening to escape. My stomach burned. “You…you…” Oh God. She had a piece of him, forever. A piece that I wanted some day. We never talked about having children. Way too soon for that but I liked to think that it was a possibility.