I trekked beside them, but stayed astride.
Merlin shrugged. "Rex must have a spy in the lab."
My blood pumped fire into my heart that began its race again. I stared at the helmet of Thor as I looked down my nose. I wish I knew how to shoot so I could help. "My father needs us. I have to go back home."
Thor grabbed the reins as if guessing my plan to race in the other direction. "No."
I tapped his metal glove off my reins and he let go. I clenched my jaw, ready to pounce. "Excuse me," I said in my most cutting tones.
Thor jumped back on his steed and shook his head. "I will return to your father's camp. You will ride back to Avalon with Merlin. If Rex is here then he's after you."
Somehow I trusted that Thor would save my father. While Rex wasn't known for mercy, I scoffed at Thor's concern for me. "Why? I'm not a queen and I never will be."
"Gwen, you can't escape your destiny."
He didn't know me.
"Get her to Avalon, Merlin."
Merlin straightened his spine. "I should be close in case you need my council, sire."
Yes, his friend needed to stay which meant I wasn't going anywhere. "I know the forest better than any of your men. I won't get in your way."
Save my father. I didn’t say it, but the words were on my lips, ready to beg if I had to.
Merlin then fixed his sword. "I can protect her in the back of our formation. If anything goes wrong, I will get her to Avalon. You have my word."
My voice grew lighter as I realized I'd stay close. "Can you tell me what is happening?"
Thor nodded at Merlin. Then he rode off without waiting to give me an answer. Merlin also said nothing, but at least we turned around. This was the right direction. Once I made it back to my room, I'd curl under the blankets and never leave. With time, Father would see reason and not send me away. There had to be another forest to hide in. There had to be. I was going home.
Chapter 4
The smell of fire and burnt wood wafted toward me. Thor was so far ahead I couldn't see him. Merlin reached for my horse's reins and yanked as a tree collapsed nearby. I cringed. The knights’ horses roared forward into the smoke.
My horse halted, uneasy. I looked over my shoulder and saw Merlin and the squire from before. With my chin held high, I shouted, "My father's house is not far."
I kicked my horse to go, but Merlin grabbed my reins. "My lady..."
"Don't call me that." I clawed the straps, but my nails were unable to dig into metal. Nothing broke Merlin's steel. Despite knowing better, I tried to push his thick arm back so I could gain my freedom and get to my father.
"I have no choice, my lady. Thor has decreed."
The man's voice sounded less fierce and foreboding than Thor's. Merlin was almost pleasant in comparison, though I might be delusional. I was tired and wanted to lie down in my bed and not get up until this nightmare was over. "He can decree all he likes."
"He doesn't want you in battle."
"Battle? Don't be absurd. My father has ensured our camp was far away from any battle scenes." Thor and his men had no business in my life. This was the forest and my home. I picked berries not far from here, and surely it was time for my father's dinner.
The squire whispered something to Merlin, who leaned closer and breathed against my ear. I winced and pressed my lips together. "Smell the air. It's not lamb for dinner."
I sniffed beyond his earthy scent. I detected meat and even though we hadn't moved closer to camp, the smell was overpowering. His words replayed in my ear. Not lamb?
I tried again for my reins. "Let me go. I demand it."
Merlin made a noise through his metal suit that reminded me of a whistle making its way through a tube. Then he made a click which again sounded musical in his armor. "If Rex sees you? It will be all over." He nodded once. "We will dress you as a man. Chaus! Come here, boy."
I raised my eyebrows. "Who is Chaus?"
Merlin pointed to the young man that had whispered to him. "Thor's squire."
Chaus seemed my age or possibly younger. He was tall, but gangly thin and his hands shook as I continued to study him.
I crossed my arms. This was all too much. He discussed a boy that was right there with them. "Can't he speak?"
Merlin dismounted and so did Chaus. Merlin then stood next to me, still holding the reins of my horse as he said, "Not to you, my lady."
They were being stupid. My father was here. We were almost to my house. I refused to budge. "I don't want to wear Chaus' clothes. Why can't he speak to me? Thor's decree? Are you to keep me hostage so I can't try to escape back into my own home?"
"You don't understand the danger you're in." Merlin took off his helmet. His light brown hair and gray eyes made him unusual, like an owl staring at me, never blinking and appearing to see past everyone and everything.
Then he smiled and showed off his perfect white teeth, and he appeared younger than I first thought. Thirty, perhaps? "And you're jumping to the wrong conclusions, my lady. Chaus doesn't know how to talk to women. He clams right up when we bring him into town."
I eased up on my horse and dismounted. If the men were still in their metal armor, I could outrun them if I had the chance to bolt. I was fast, even in my dress.
Merlin motioned for Chaus to remove his gauntlets. The second his hand was free, he flexed it a few times like he'd been constrained. I almost laughed. These men and their battles and their armor knew nothing of being held back. My father always said no to me, but I still got my way.
From my brief moments where I spied on armies and men, soldiers seemed to live life like it wasn't guaranteed there would ever be another. I sighed and dropped my hands to my sides. These men didn't frighten me, which was a first. The smell of smoke and meat did though. I licked my lips. "Then how can he dress me in armor if he's too shy to even speak to me?"
Merlin held out the gauntlet and handed it to me. I smiled and took his metallic hand as an offer of faith. At least he hadn't thrown it down to challenge someone to a duel like they did in the stories. I rubbed my neck as Merlin said, "His eyes will be closed and you will keep your pretty dress on."
I chuckled. Men with silvered tongues sometimes made their way into the forests too. "Now I know you're a liar. Pretty dress." I turned around as Chaus threw something metallic over my shoulders. The cold chain metal almost knocked me to the ground. My shoulders bowed from the extra weight. My knees buckled, but I refused to fall. I'd definitely not run anywhere dressed like this.
Merlin's eyebrows shot up. He must've known this was too heavy. I'd be crushed in the full metal suit.
Chaus lowered the breast plate on me as I lifted the bottom of my skirt in a mock curtsy. The metal wasn't as heavy as the chain underneath. I swallowed and refused to cower. I'd get out of this mess, somehow, and get to my father.
Chaus's high-pitched voice came over my shoulder. "We have to pin your dress to your legs so we can lower your legs into the armored saddle."
This was taking too long. My shoulders slumped. I fought with the weight to stand straight. "What?"
Merlin stared at the sky. "We're wasting time. Thor won't want to get too far ahead."
Chaus wrapped my dress around my thigh making it impossible to walk. I coughed. "I thought we were staying here."
Merlin squinted as he stared at me. "Thor doesn't want to separate us from the group. This is as safe as we can make you, my lady."
I turned around, like I could walk, and the boy fell back. It took me a moment to realize his face was bright red. He stared at Merlin and not at me. Poor guy. I decided to respect the boy's wishes and spoke back to Merlin. "I'll need help if you expect me to get on the horse like this."
Merlin's gray eyes turned into a dark cloud. "If anyone is attacked, call out for Thor and he'll find you, my lady."
I flinched, but held my feet in place. "I will never call for him."
Merlin handed me his helmet. I held the heavy metal, but my arms flapped dow
n to my sides. This suit already weighed more than I did.
Merlin said, "Put it on your head."
I tried to lift it, but they couldn't be serious. Then Chaus took any option from me and threw it over my head. My shoulders felt a pressure on them so tight that they burned. I refused to cry and instead tried to look toward my home. The two holes blocked my peripheral vision. My eyes watered. I could hardly see anything, and it was so hot. "How do you see through these slits?"
Merlin's voice echoed through the helmet as he said, "Your head is too small, Gwen, but get used to it. The disguise is better than I imagined. Nobody will recognize you."
Something bad could have happened in all this time. I moved my arms to see if I could and the metal made so much noise that I stopped. The armor pushed itself into my ribs and the pain jarred me with every move. I'd get horrible bruises. I froze and the suit clinked back to its original form. This was impossible. "The armor is loose."
Merlin gazed at Chaus who shrugged. How could the boy move in armor but I couldn't? It must at least fit him. These men must all be stronger than me. Merlin put his hands on my hips and lifted me back on my horse. "It's as tight as it will go. You're far too skinny for most of it."
They'd already wasted too much time. My back, somehow, held up despite the weight. I gulped. The night was coming fast now. "That has to be enough. Let's go. I wish to see my father."
Merlin stood in front of me and circled my horse. He'd wait a long time if he expected a thank you. I stared at him. Then he said, "You will need a weapon."
My sigh sounded like a hum to my ears. The metal helmet made me musical. "I can't hold a sword. I've tried to lift my father's sword."
Chaus handed something to Merlin who then came to my side. "Hold the crossbow on your back."
I stared at the black and gold crossbow with anticipation. I swallowed back how I had always wanted to learn. The gold circles underneath the handle of the crossbow Merlin held swirled out toward the sides. If I wasn't in this blasted armor, I'd reach out to hold it.
I turned my head, my muscles quivering with strain. "I cannot shoot."
Merlin had Chaus give him a different type of helmet for himself, and his chin was still visible. Merlin then said, "You must appear as another soldier if you wish to go home."
I stared at the road. It was dark now. The moon would be out soon. "Then strap it on me and be done with it."
My fingers curled as I imagined what it would be like to shoot a crossbow. My father's simple bows had always stung my fingers, but the crossbow had a mechanism that might save me from bleeding.
Merlin put the crossbow on my back. Chaus added arrows to a bucket he placed on the horse. Merlin nodded after studying me. "Gwen, you will make Thor an excellent queen."
I'd not fall, if that was what he meant, but I'd never be Thor's. I urged my horse forward, but with all of the additional weight, we were slower than I liked. I tucked my legs behind the plates Chaus attached to the saddle. "Merlin, you're delusional."
He laughed. I smiled behind the safety of the helmet.
The man mounted and rode at my side as Chaus followed behind. "Many people have told me that. Let's go. Your future husband desires you close."
I flinched. I'd not think about Thor that way, ever. “Why did you call Thor Arthur?”
“It’s his given name. I knew him when he was a boy, though I and everyone else call him Thor.”
I understood. The name Thor sounded more like thunder and a warrior.
As we made our way home, my heart beat grew faster as I stared at the gate. Our house should be hidden, but it was in plain sight. Adrenaline rushed through me. No one was outside when they neared camp, but that wasn't a surprise. My skin grew goose bumps, and I had rocks in my stomach from the charred smell in the air.
Merlin called out as he grabbed his sword. "Make haste. Something is wrong."
The need to vomit grew as the stench of burned meat went beyond my nose and into my throat.
As we approached the same spot where we left this morning, my heart raced. My skin prickled. The smoke was so thick I couldn't breathe. I thought that just outside the gate, I'd be safe enough, so I lifted the helmet off my head before I threw up in it. The blackness in the air made it impossible to see. I blinked to clear the dust, but my eyes watered and I put the helmet back on.
As we passed through the gate, Thor's huge shoulders came into focus. He had changed his helmet to one like Merlin's. My heart raced. Men on horseback surrounded me as I rode further toward my house.
At some point I was separated from Merlin and Chaus. The other knights parted for me to pass until Thor's hand pressed against my back. I didn't flinch. The metal near my body was like a shield. Thor being here meant I was safe, not that I'd ever say that.
I blinked trying to see through the smoke and the slits in the helmet. My home was blackened. Burning. I tried to cover my mouth, but the metal weighed too much.
Thor kept his hand on my back. "You shouldn't be here."
No. I spun my horse around to get a better look at everything. The house was destroyed. A gasp escaped my lips. I charged forward to the open inner gate. My eyes teared as I stared down. Who would have done this? The boy I'd fed this morning was burnt and lying dead on the ground.
"My father?" We had to save him.
My stomach churned, but I ignored the pain as we continued forward.
My gaze scanned the charred remains of my house. My father had to be fine. Thor grabbed my reins like he'd lead me away, but I tugged them free.
Thor's teeth were clenched. "Gwen. Let's take you out of here. Don't look."
The crack in his voice meant something horrible. Once we found Father, we'd be safe, sound and secure. I turned my head around. I had to find him. There was something here. My heart beat so loud in my chest as I focused on my blackened home and the men on horseback that stood amongst the ashes.
My gut churned as I stared toward the servant's doors and then I screamed.
My father's body, stretched out on the ground, had a dozen arrows in his heart. I slid from my horse. I had to save him.
I fell in a lump of metal onto the ground. I didn't care. I had to go to him. The armor held me down, but I squirmed to get out of it. I screamed in frustration, but once I was free, I rushed onto the steps to somehow get the arrows out so we could save him.
His body was stiff to my touch. Tears wouldn't stop running down my face. I sniffled, and called out, "Father, I need you."
"He's dead, Gwen."
I know. Thor's words tore through me. I stared at him and emptiness grew inside me. I wanted him to be wrong.
"I'm sorry." He came to my side and squeezed my shoulder like he cared. I hugged my father's body. There had to be something I could do, but Thor's words pressed into my heart.
My entire body shook.
Thor lifted me off the ground, my arms outstretched like I could hold my father next to me. With every step the distance grew and I struggled to stop Thor. My place was here.
He plumped me onto my mare and took the reins. I couldn't speak. With tears in my eyes, I didn't argue as he led me out. I didn't fight. I didn't care. Why should I? My life was over.
Father thought I hated him.
This couldn't be the end or else I'd be lost in guilt forever.
Chapter 5
My body was numb. I wasn't cold or hot or anything. Nothing mattered. The sound of the horses as their hooves dug into the ground during the all-night ride didn't matter. My thoughts returned to the image of my father with arrows protruding from his heart.
Trying desperately for a way to make it all right, I wondered if I should be happy that it was a clean death. He hadn't suffered. Thor took the time to have him buried. I guess I should be grateful, but that took too much energy.
My horse provided solitude. As long as I kept up the pace, no one spoke to me. I kept my head down and followed along. My brain scrambled to try and understand if perhaps Thor or Merlin h
ad done this to Father. Logically the accusation brewing in my head made no sense, but the theory grew. What if Thor had killed Father, took me and then brought me back to show me that he was a nice guy. Kings were not generally nice men played as justification. Thor had been kind.
As dawn broke, my muscles quivered and a fiery calm took hold of me. Thor directed them past a wall. It took a few more minutes and then I realized we were within his city, Avalon, now. Thor took off his helmet as I glanced toward him. Then he sat straighter on his horse. He waved at a few men as they came out on the street, bowing with respect. No one should bow to anyone. I lifted my head and glared at the back of his blond hair.
Despite my fatigue, heat rushed through me.
More people came out of their houses and cheered as he passed. I grinded my teeth, growing hotter as we made our way to his fortress. All the townspeople wore colorful garbs made of fine linen and I looked worse than all of them. I probably reeked compared to them too. When we reached the guards, the knights dismounted.
Thor walked back toward me and I tightened my fists. He'd not touch me. I had no love or kindness left in me, and I refused to ever grow a heart now. His helmet made him seem like he was inhuman and I preferred to see him like that. I threw my leg over to dismount, but I handled the reins too hard and they snapped, startling my poor mare. I petted her mane as I stepped down.
Thor reached my side and offered his palm for assistance. I ignored it. He clasped his hands behind his back, his jaw set. "The house is this way."
There was no place to run at the moment. I walked around him. "House? Funny word with these fortifications. I'd call it a castle."
I entered the first room, then shuffled back. It was larger than our entire house before it had gone up in flames.
The large table in the next room had a chandelier over it and its presence gave the room a sanctified appearance. It had to be a great hall for large dinners. To our right, the stairs shined bright from the stained wood and tapestries covered the walls. The floors shined under foot, and my boots and dress would leave a trail in its wake.
Whispers of a Throne Page 4
