Whispers of a Throne

by Victoria Pinder

  "He's waiting until the morning to join Wain."

  He didn't have to go at all. He should stay behind walls and let others fight for him. My limbs shook as I thought about him in battle, but I refused to say this. "I see."

  The thought of his leaving made my body go cold. It's strange since we've yet to have a normal, face-to-face conversation. His helmet kept anything above his chin hidden. The one time I’d seen him without it stirred something in my blood I couldn't express.

  I glanced at myself one more time in the mirror. It's uncanny how much I look my mother, despite how my eyes are brown. Part of me hoped I had her spirit.

  My heart beat wildly and I hugged Nel before we rushed out the door. I heard her hold back her laugh as she hadn't expected the hug, but she was becoming my closest friend here. As we walked down the halls, no one made eye contact with me. Nel directed me ahead. I tried to smile at a couple, but they studied a portrait of a man on his horse.

  In the forest, at least people smiled at me. I stayed close to Nel. As we made it to the dining room, everyone stopped what they were doing and watched my every step like I was the entertainment. I rubbed my neck. It was as if they thought I had kidnapped Morgana. The thought grabbed me as the possible answer to their negativity. But I had no idea how to prove my innocence. Nel tugged out a chair at a table near the stairs on the other side of the room. I slumped into my seat as Nel whispered, "This is your place, my lady."

  "Where is Thor?" The question came out fast. Two women who had stared at me now shared a look between them that I thought meant they judged me. My cheeks burned. I must be blushing. In time, I hope they accepted me as something other than Thor's future wife. I wasn't quite sure that's who I was, but I'd figure it out.

  As I sat at the table, no one said anything to me. The cold and quietness of the crowd caused me to clench my hands on my stomach. Thor wasn't in the room yet. "I must leave you now, my lady," Nel said.

  “No.” I clutched her hand, but she tugged it away. Then she bowed her head and scurried out. A coldness enveloped me. I searched the room for anyone I knew. Merlin and Chaus had been the only others who'd spoken to me so far, but they weren't here.

  A trumpet's music wafted in the air and my awareness grew. I turned around and followed how everyone paid rapt attention to staircase on the other side of the room. The massive steps would lead to a great room.

  Goose bumps grew on my arms as Thor stepped in the hall from two massive doors that were swung open. Then he stood at the top of the stairs. I smiled at him, and my entire body grew aware of how close he came. His hair was combed away from his face, and there were no black marks on it. His presence in the room was overpowering. He's strong, tall, and my heart panged as I stared at him.

  We all stood for Thor. I finally gazed down and rearranged the table setting. The forks and knives were the same as what we'd used, though his were spotless. At home our butter knives had always been hopelessly bent.

  I imagined his face, aware as he came toward me. He had painted himself for battle, but otherwise his clean skin had no tattoos. Tonight, I might dream about him.

  He bowed before me. Then with a smile on his face, he kissed my hand. "You clean up well."

  I nodded my head until I wondered if I looked stupid. I forced myself to stop, and fidgeted with my amulet. "So do you. I've not seen you without your armor."

  He held my seat for me and I sat next to what was clearly his chair as it was the largest in the room. "And?"

  I blinked and met his blue eyes. My mind went completely blank. "And what?"

  He winked at me, and warmness grew inside my chest. "Do I meet with your approval?"

  "Yes. Of course. I like your face without the paint." I fixed my hair behind my ear. I also liked it with the war paint and those symbols he wore.

  Merlin and Chaus entered the hall and bowed. They were silent until Thor nodded his acknowledgement of them. As the men joined us at the table, Thor lifted his eyebrow at me. "Ceremonies matter to some and there are many who believe that the symbols painted on our bodies protect us from evil spirits who wish to harm our living bodies."

  If I knew Thor better, I'd be more informed about making a decision regarding our marriage. I scooted closer, leaning forward in my chair. I was going to find out everything I could. "Not to you?"

  He shrugged and waited until a servant filled his mug. I noticed that others drank red wine, but in Thor's cup he had a slice of lemon and hot water. He didn't drink? I pushed my own glass back as he said, "I don't know. I hope to encourage my people to stay calm in these trying times and symbols help. Routines also help."

  My body tightened as I asked my next question. "Did you always seek to be king?"

  He edged closer to me and whispered in my ear. "No, I was my cousin's squire. I had no parents and thought the best I could hope for was to be a knight."

  We had things in common. "So the blood test changed your life too?"

  Thor sat back in his seat as the servants brought us food. "Yes. Rex instantly wanted to kill me."

  I ached to touch him, but I kept my hands in my lap. I'd not be strange and touch myself everywhere. To cover, I coughed. "And you were thirteen?"

  Again his eyebrows lifted as he smiled at me. I turned away to avoid his gaze, but he placed his hand on mine. "You know the story."

  My body pulsed and my chest grew lighter. Calmness invaded me, and I didn't mind this new feeling. With my free hand, I ensured my dress collar was straight. "As does everyone, but I don't know how you felt about any of it."

  He sat back and let go of my hand. "How I felt?"

  I offered him a smile. "Yes."

  He rubbed his chin. "It's not a normal question."

  My face flushed. I rearranged the plate on the table so I could sit closer and not break anything. I thought it was a perfectly logical question. Now I wondered if I'd pushed too far. Was the question too simple? I lowered my gaze. "I already feel out of place here. Please don't join everyone else in making me feel strange."

  He bent forward and placed his hand on mine. I inhaled his smell of the forest, and my lips parted. I held his hand as the spark he set off in me exploded in a wondrous way. He rubbed my arm slightly though nothing inappropriate. "That's not my intention. When I was thirteen, I became head of a rebellion, I knew nothing about. Merlin saved my life. I hope in time, you'll be empowered to be yourself, much like Merlin did for me."

  My eyes widened and I glanced down the table. Merlin spoke to other men, clearly in an animated conversation. He didn't turn toward us at all, but I was thankful the man became Thor's father figure. I turned back to Thor, and my heart fluttered. "He did?"

  Thor lowered his head and leaned against the table as he gazed right at me at eye-level. "Rex intended to kill me and keep his throne even though the law said it was rightfully my place. Merlin found an escape plan. I owe him everything."

  His head so close to mine was nice. I was momentarily dizzy from awareness, but I could stare so easily into his blue eyes. "Did Merlin tell you to take Excalibur?"

  His face had the indents that might be dimples, if he smiled more. I smiled for him as he shook his head. "No."

  Our food was getting cold. I didn't care. Instead I squeezed his hand on mine. "How did that happen then?"

  "Rex was so busy demanding my head that he left it on the table. That sword is given to the king at his coronation. I figured if I was to be king one day, the sword should go with me. On my way out, I took it."

  Thor inspired everyone he ever encountered, even me. My nerves were tingling as I held his hand. "How did it feel?"

  He rubbed his thumb on my palm. "You're big on feelings, aren't you?"

  I fanned my face to try to cool down. "At the end of the day, it's all we have."

  He parted his legs and made himself more comfortable. "The sword was heavy. It weighed more than I did at the time."

  As I exhaled, I almost took my hand back, but then I stopped. I wanted to keep this
connection for a moment longer. "That part is not in the story."

  He shrugged. "No, it's not, but I was scrawny and gangly thin."

  Several knights walked in, laughing, but then grew silent the moment they saw me sitting next to their king. They turned and bowed to Thor. He waved them to the next table and I sat forward in my chair. "Why does everyone stop speaking around me?"

  Thor didn't answer, though I waited and played with my carrots on the dish.

  A boy no more than twelve rushed into the room holding something electronic. My heart beat faster. The poison might kill us all in our sleep just from being near it. Thor stood and I followed suit, as I brushed a crumb from my dress. "What is it?" he asked.

  Out of breath, the young boy bowed his head. I was dizzy, but held onto the table. The boy's shoulders stayed high as he said, "An announcement from Rex is online."

  The way the boy stared at me I thought he'd drill a hole in the ground and drop me inside. I rubbed the goose bumps off my arms. He already hated me and he didn't know I only wanted to watch out for his health. I'd have him throw that junk into the burnt city and leave it there to rot.

  Thor then nodded his head, unaware of anything wrong with me. "Play it."

  The wall projected a man who must be Caesar Rex. I jumped. The picture seemed so clear. My muscles went tight, and I couldn't speak. Thor placed his hand on my back and gently massaged.

  I stepped closer to him. He didn't shake. I swallowed, studying Rex's green eyes. He had Mother's distinctive color. There was something haunting in how he looked, like I knew him. This was crazy, since I've never left the forest, except to go to Avalon for my blood test. I inched closer to Thor who wrapped his arms around me from behind as we watched the screen and whispered, "He's not here. You are safe."

  Safe from Rex, but not the electronics. I nodded at Thor, but kept my thoughts to myself.

  Rex's voice stirred something inside that seemed familiar. "My people, today, my fiancée came back to us. Let us cheer for your future queen."

  My mind focused on his words. So much for living by the lake in her own household there. She must have spent years in London with Rex. "Came back?"

  "She's two years older than me, and her test said she was a queen." Thor answered, "They were engaged before I took the test."

  "So at fifteen she ran away to live on her own?"

  "Morgana had a castle and her mother's relatives."

  "So she's your half sister?"

  If there were two queens, why would Rex have to give up the throne to Thor? In the end, there would only be one king and one queen. For king, Thor would be the better choice. Everyone in this royalty game seemed to know one another, except for me. I didn't know anyone, though I stared at Rex's image. My gut told me I did know him, but that was impossible.

  "She's still my blood."

  "I understand." The camera turned toward Morgana who stood next to a knight dressed in green. Her clothes were the royal blue of Rex's banner and my amulet. She and the knight were shoulder to shoulder, and I instantly regretted my green dress that matched anyone in this farce. Whoever the knight was, he must be important. Morgana appeared to prefer his presence.

  As the music wafted in the air, she waved and gave a small smile toward the crowd.

  Rex then snapped his boots together and the cameras returned to his face. I asked myself how I might know that king. I couldn't. His words were menacing, like he might order the heads of his people to be served as dinner. "To celebrate our wedding tomorrow, we will have a joust."

  Thor jutted his chin out but said nothing. He must have thoughts on this though he stood in silence. My own opinion told me that any wedding between Morgana and Rex would end badly for everyone in their path. I lost my words as Thor’s hand on my back was the only warm thing I had and for a moment I turned around and hugged him.

  Morgana's lips were pencil thin as she smiled. I had to let Thor go, but I squeezed my waist. It might have been me there, next to Rex. His dark brown hair and emerald green eyes sent a shiver down my spine. His eyes. I wish I knew where I'd seen them before. The only other person I know with green eyes was my mother, but hers were never that cold.

  Chapter 12

  Thor and Merlin nodded at each other and then Thor traced his finger down my arm and took my hand. My knees went weak as he stared at me. "I have to go."

  I offered no argument. If he could save his sister, then he should. "Is there is any way I can help?"

  Thor stepped closer and spoke in a low voice. "Stay here, Gwen. Don't go outside."

  Right, stay with people who hate me. That wasn't going to work for me. Besides my mother came from London and I needed to know about her. "Can I go with you?"

  He shook his head. "It's not wise."

  Merlin stepped forward. He must have heard our conversation. My cheeks flushed as I wondered if he saw everything, including how I reacted to Thor. "Sire, it might be."

  Thor's blue eyes grew darker. "She's not going."

  Merlin straightened his gray tunic and I noticed his matching boots. He bowed his head and came closer to Thor. "She's one..."

  Thor's lips thinned as he stopped his friend short. "No."

  Yes. I clutched my amulet. He had promised to tell me about my mother and what he knew. I should have asked earlier. My arms crossed as I cleared my throat to ask, "I'm what?"

  Thor stared right at me and my insides melted. I swayed on my feet as he told me, "Stay. We will return. If there is any news on the monitor, I want you to be the one who tells me."

  For a moment I considered just saying yes, of course, I'll stay. Agree rather that argue. Instead, I said, "How?"

  He handed me a small piece of black reflecting rock surrounded by polished black as he explained, "This is a talking rock."

  My knees trembled. That wasn't a rock. Perfectly thin and rectangle, it was forbidden to touch. My mother spoke about people in London who died from touching ancient technology. She'd seen first hand how people suffered. I'd die if I held this thing. I clenched my hands into fists so he wouldn't give it to me. "What?"

  He gently pressed it to my fingers, but I didn't budge. He then held it next to him and pointed toward the buttons. "First, hit this. Then hit the green button here and then this button. Don't hit the numbers, but if you do remember you can find me here, in the favorites. It's not hard. When it connects, speak in this, and I will hear you on the other end."

  He shouldn't touch forbidden things. My fist loosened and I took the ancient and poisoned 'rock'. "This will kill me."

  As I held the thing in my hand, my stomach hardened and my mind raced. I knew I ought to throw this away and bury it deep in the earth so no one else gets sick. Thor held my arm gently, and tugged me closer to hug him. My heart thumped in my chest as I closed my eyes. I hugged him briefly, but then I stepped back. His voice soft, he told me, "No it won't."

  Perhaps the illness from these objects had affected his mind. I swallowed. "Poison flows from these things."

  He wrapped his hand around mine. "It's safe."

  Everyone who ever went into the blackened ruins died. There were countless tales. My eyes misted as I stared at him. He had no idea that he put himself in danger every time he touched these things. "It's how the burning plague started. My mother warned us so often about all the dead bodies she had seen because of these objects. Don't use these things."

  He covered his mouth with his hand as if he didn't know what to say to me. I saw how cloudy his eyes became, like he too knew the danger. I had to convince him, but then he said, "When I get back, we'll talk about how the need to win must overcome our fears. We will be fine. Merlin said they were encased in lead in an underground bunker nearby and the thickness of the metal prevented them from being poisoned. Please understand that it won't hurt you. I won't hurt you."

  Lead and underground bunkers made no sense, unless someone knew that the poisoned clouds would come. If those videos of Rex's came back on, I'd touch the poisoned rock. Thor
needed my help, but it would be just for a moment since I didn't want to die. I had to help him. "Thor, take care of yourself."

  He cupped my chin and I stared hard into his eyes. "Likewise. I can't have you in any danger."

  My lips craved to know what his lips would be like on mine, but then I moved my face away and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back at first. Then I turned my head and met his hard lips with my soft ones. He tasted better than cherries or chocolate. His hands around me made me feel safe. Then he let me go and left fast.

  I felt empty inside as I needed to taste more of him. The kiss was too fast. This was wrong. We shouldn't separate. If I went with him, I could help with more than holding the magical talking square. Besides, I needed to know who exactly my mother was or who they all thought. I placed the talking rock down on the table as the servants entered the now emptied dining hall.

  Alone, I turned back into the room. Most of the men had gone to prepare to leave with Thor. A few elegantly dressed women in colored gowns remained, but they ignored me. The emptiness grew. I had to do something. I rubbed my arms and walked through the halls.

  I returned to my room and splashed my face with water. Thor would not allow me to go with him and I made him a promise. To clear my throat of any poisons, I gargled salted water and made my choice. If he wouldn't take me, then I'd follow behind. Nel came in. "My lady, how was dinner?"

  "I don't want to talk about it." A lady would be caught easy if I followed. I'd have to disguise myself. Earlier I was dressed in a suit of armor, but that was too heavy and it hurt. There had to another way. I stared at Nel who would tell on me the moment I tried to go with the men. Thor paid her.

  I'd dress as a boy. I rubbed my neck, and changed the topic. I couldn't risk Nel's position if I told her anything. I coughed and asked, "Why does everyone hate me here?"

  She helped me out of the heavy green dress. I stayed still to allow her to get the laces as she answered, "No one hates you, my lady."