Unlocking Her Surgeon's Heart

by Fiona Lowe

  He kissed the back of her hand, hating how much she’d been through.

  Her voice took on a flat tone as if remembering the trauma of being flung through a glass door was too much. ‘I had five days in hospital to think about what I was going to do. The police and the social worker at the Royal helped me take out an intervention order and they even managed to get my clothes out of the flat. As much as I loved working at MMU, the thought of staying in Melbourne was just too awful so I gave notice on the pretext of being homesick. They suggested I apply for a grant for a birth centre to operate down here. I came back to Turraburra, back to Gramps and love, and I slowly recovered.’

  Noah’s chest hurt from a mixture of pure, hot anger at Trent for his brutal treatment of her and agonising pain that Lily had endured the slow demise of her marriage, her confidence and everything she’d believed she had a right to enjoy. ‘You rebuilt your life. That takes incredible resilience and courage.’

  She shrugged. ‘There were days I thought I couldn’t do it but adopting Chippy helped. He’s my kindred spirit. He knows what it’s like to live in fear. Although no one apart from Gramps knows the real story, the town knew my marriage had failed and they wrapped me up in their care and I concentrated on staying safe.’

  ‘Given what you’d been through, that makes sense.’

  She gazed up at him, her eyes filled with shadows. ‘I thought it made sense too and I’d convinced myself I had a full and happy life because it was so much better than what I’d had with Trent. It was all working just fine until you arrived and suddenly it was like waking up from a long hibernation and feeling sunshine on my skin for the first time in for ever. You brought me out into the light and showed me what I’d been living had only been half a life. You showed me what my life could truly be.’

  Noah held his breath. Since the moment last night when Lily had looked at him with such love shining in her eyes, along with a desperate need to protect him, he’d been waiting and hoping she’d tell him she loved him. Only now he’d learned exactly what she’d been through in Melbourne and on top of yesterday’s trauma, which would have brought everything back in Technicolor, he wasn’t going to rush her. He needed to give her time and he was going to take things very, very slowly. Take things one tiny step at a time so he never lost her again.

  Exhaustion clung to Lily. Telling her story was always like being put through the emotional wringer, but if she and Noah were to have a chance at a future, he needed to know what she’d been through and how the remnants still clung to her. She swallowed hard, knowing what she said next was vitally important. She had to get it right, had to try and make Noah understand why she’d behaved the way she had when he’d told her he loved her.

  ‘All those wonderful feelings I experienced with you both awed and terrified me. Part of me wanted them badly, while another part of me rejected them out of fear.’ She grabbed both his hands, needing to touch him, needing him to feel her love for him in case her words let her down. ‘Even though I know on every level possible that you’re nothing like Trent, me giving in to those feelings felt like I was stepping off a cliff and free-falling without a safety net. When you told me you loved me, I panicked. I said awful and hurtful things, things that aren’t true, just so you’d leave.’

  She gulped in a breath as bewildered tears poured down her cheeks. ‘And despite me breaking your heart, you still came and risked your life for me, Kylie and the baby. I’ve been so stupid. I’ve let that awful secret ruin my chance at happiness with you and I’m so sorry.’

  His earnest gaze hooked hers. ‘I’m still here, Lily. It’s not over until the fat lady sings.’

  She gulped in breaths. The time had come for her to put her heart on the line. ‘I love you so much, Noah. Can you forgive me and risk loving me too?’

  ‘I love you, Lily,’ he said so softly she almost didn’t hear. ‘That never stops.’

  The three little words that had sent her into a tailspin four days ago now bathed her soul in a soothing, life-affirming balm. She cupped his stubbled cheek with her palm, still struggling to understand. ‘How can you love me so unconditionally when I’ve hurt you so much?’

  His brown eyes overflowed with tenderness. ‘Because you’re you. You’re a good person, Lily. You’re kind, generous and no-nonsense, and, oh, so very good for a grumpy-bum like me.’

  A puff of laughter fell from her lips. ‘You overheard Karen?’

  His mouth twitched. ‘I might have.’

  She smiled and fingered his shirt, secure in his love for her. ‘You can be grumpy from time to time but, then again, so can I.’

  ‘I’m a lot less grumpy than I was now I have you in my life.’ He kissed her tenderly on the forehead. ‘And talking about our life, after what happened on Friday I don’t want to rush you into any decisions. I especially don’t want to after yesterday.’

  Her heart ached and sang at the same time. ‘We both experienced yesterday, Noah.’

  His face tensed with the memory. ‘We did and we need to go to counselling so it doesn’t hijack our lives. We go for as long as it takes. I want you to feel safe, to feel loved and secure. We can get through this together, Lily. We’ll find our way to be a united couple, no matter what it takes.’

  His heart beat under her hand—strong, steady and reassuring—and she needed to pinch herself that he was part of her life. This wonderful man who understood that rushing into things was the worst thing for her. ‘Taking things slowly sounds like a perfect idea.’

  He let out a long breath and she realised he’d been scared she might freak out again at the idea of them being a couple. Her heart cramped and she moved to reassure him. ‘Exactly how slowly are we taking this? We can still have sex, right?’

  He grinned. ‘Absolutely. And do fun stuff together like picnics and visiting wineries and—’

  She smiled up at him. ‘So we’re dating?’

  The last vestiges of tension on his face faded away. ‘Dating and having sex sounds great.’

  And it did. It sounded fantastically normal. ‘Lots of good times and wonderful experiences and time to really get to know each other.’

  She laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes, feeling his love and warmth seeping into her.

  ‘Lily?’

  ‘Hmm …?’

  He wound strands of her hair around his fingers. ‘I have to go back to Melbourne in a few days.’

  She stifled a sigh. ‘I know. You have that pesky exam to study for and pass with flying colours.’

  ‘And you hate coming to Melbourne.’

  She bit her lip. She hated that those last vestiges of her marriage, which still clung to her, could hurt him. ‘I’m going to get better at that. I know Trent’s never breached the intervention order here or in Melbourne and, who knows, he might not even live there any more. I’ll be asking the counsellor to help me over this last stumbling block because I want to enjoy being in Melbourne again. I want to feel comfortable there, with or without you.’

  ‘That’s great but it’s not quite what I meant.’ His hand stalled on her hair and hesitancy entered his voice. ‘Days off excepted, I’ll be working in Melbourne and you’ll be down here, delivering pregnant women.’

  ‘You’re sounding worried.’

  ‘I know we’re dating and I’m fine with that but I’m just checking we’re on the same page. I know I said I didn’t want to rush you and I don’t, but we’re an exclusive couple, right?’

  She propped herself up fast, resting on one elbow with her heart so full it threatened to burst. ‘We are most definitely an exclusive couple. I’ll take down any woman who so much as bats her eyelashes at you. I won’t allow anyone to steal you away from me.’

  His eyes, so full of love, gazed down at her. ‘That could be the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.’

  She laughed. ‘Really? I’m sure I can do much better than that.’

  He raised a brow as a smile raced from his lips to the corners of his eyes. ‘I dare yo
u.’

  She leaned up and whispered in his ear. He sucked in a sharp breath before lowering his head to kiss her gently and reverently, as if he was worried he might hurt her. She knew he’d never intentionally do that and she wanted the Noah who’d made love to her before he’d learned what had happened to her in Melbourne.

  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed herself against him, kissing him back hard—needing to feel, needing to lose herself in wonder and banish the past, banish yesterday and everything they’d been through.

  He groaned and immediately rolled her over, his mouth and hands loving her until she was a quivering mess of glorious sensation. ‘Noah,’ she panted, ‘now.’

  When he slid inside her, she knew she was home. This amazing man was her safety and her security. With him, she could take risks, say what she believed, challenge him, but most importantly she could be herself. As the wave to bliss caught them they rode it together, embracing life and forging a new future.

  Later, as she lay in his arms, a peace she’d never known before trickled through her. She knew without equivocation that no matter what life threw at them, if they faced it hand in hand and side by side, they could and would come out the other end not only stronger but together. She couldn’t wait to start.

  EPILOGUE

  ‘THERE’S PLENTY OF food in the freezer so, please, don’t feel you have to cook,’ Lily told Karen as she ran through her list. ‘Gramps and Muriel are happy to take the kids for two hours tomorrow, which is about as much as they can handle in one hit, but it gives you a break and—’

  ‘Just go already,’ Karen said, with an indulgent smile. ‘Anyone would think this was the first time you’d left Ben and Zoe with me. Just be back here by five tomorrow or I’ll turn into a pumpkin.’

  ‘Who’s turning into a pumpkin?’ Noah asked, appearing in the kitchen doorway holding a curly blonde toddler and with a pre-schooler whose arms were clamped tightly around his legs.

  ‘Ka! Ka!’ Zoe squealed, putting her arms out towards Karen with delight.

  ‘Let’s go and see my new puppy,’ Karen said with a broad smile as she lifted Zoe into her arms then put her hand out to coax the reluctant Ben to let go of his father’s legs.

  As Lily watched Karen and the children disappear out the back door she pinched herself yet again to remind herself how blessed and lucky she was. Who would have known underneath all of Karen’s pedantic office rules and terse texts there lurked a woman who adored messy children. She turned to Noah, who was at the sink, sponging something sticky off his shirt. ‘I’ve got a surprise for you.’

  Noah dropped the cloth onto the sink and caught her around the waist, gazing down at her. ‘I love surprises. Promise it involves me having my wife to myself for a couple of hours?’

  She stroked the distinguished strands of silver hair that had appeared at his temples. Six years had passed since he’d told her he loved her and if anything that look of adoration that flared in his eyes whenever he looked at her had deepened. ‘I promise you it’s better than that.’

  ‘How can it be better than that?’

  ‘Well, first of all it’s thirty-six hours with me and it’s in Melbourne with tickets to that new show you wanted to see.’

  His face lit up. ‘Are you serious?’

  She laughed at his enthusiasm. ‘But wait, there’s more. We’re having dinner at our favourite restaurant and—’

  He tightened his arms around her, pulling her in close against him so his heat flowed through her. ‘Tell me you booked at the Langdon.’

  She laughed and slid her fingers between the buttons on his shirt, her fingertips caressing his chest. ‘I booked the spa room at the Langdon.’

  He groaned with pleasure as his lips sought hers, kissing her long and hard. ‘It’s a shame we’ve got a long drive and we’re not there right now.’

  ‘Everything comes to those who wait,’ she teased.

  He stroked her hair. ‘Not that I’m not appreciative of this amazing weekend you’ve planned for us but now you’ve got me worried that I’ve forgotten some important date. I know it’s not my birthday or your birthday and it’s definitely not our wedding anniversary so …?’

  She rested her head on his shoulder the way she liked to do, loving the feeling of being cocooned in care. ‘It’s five years since you officially became Mr Jackson, General Surgeon, and we polished your new brass plaque and opened the surgical practice in Bairnsdale.’

  ‘Is it?’ He ran his hand through his hair as if he couldn’t believe it. ‘The time’s gone so fast.’

  Five years ago she’d offered to go to Melbourne to live but he’d been adamant he was coming to join her in the country. ‘No regrets?’

  ‘Not a single one. It was the best decision I ever made. With my one day a fortnight at the Victoria I get to keep up to date with the latest techniques, and with my patient load down here I get plenty of chances to refine them. The practice has grown so fast that I need another general surgeon to join me.’ His eyes lit up. ‘And I just got an email with some fabulous news.’

  She tapped him on the chest. ‘Don’t keep me in suspense. Spill.’

  ‘With the rural medical course at the uni being affiliated with the hospital, you’re looking at the new associate professor of surgery.’

  With a squeal of delight, she threw her arms around his neck. An aging Chippy, resting in his basket, looked up in surprise to see what all the noise and fuss was about. ‘That is so fantastic. Congratulations. I’m so proud of you.’

  ‘Thanks, but it’s because of you.’

  ‘No, it’s because of all your hard work.’

  ‘Let’s agree it’s both.’ He gave her a quick kiss on the nose. ‘All those years ago I thought that being sent to Turraburra was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me but in reality it was the very best thing. I was embraced by a community in a way I’d never experienced in Melbourne and I learned there’s something intrinsically special about being able to give back.’ He cupped her cheeks. ‘And then there was you. You and the kids are what I’m most proud of in my life. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.’

  Her throat thickened with emotion as his love circled her. ‘And you and the children are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We’ve been so blessed.’

  ‘We have. And although I love Zoe and Ben more than life itself, they’re exhausting on a scale that makes back-to-back surgeries look like a walk in the park.’ He grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the door. ‘Let’s not waste another moment of our thirty-five hours and fifty minutes of freedom.’

  She laughed. ‘You’re not going to set a countdown app on your phone, are you?’

  He gave a sheepish grin. ‘No need. By the end of breakfast tomorrow both of us will be desperate to come straight home to see the kids.’

  ‘We’re pretty hopeless, aren’t we?’

  He kissed her one more time. ‘True, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.’

  And neither would she.

  ISBN: 978-1-474-00459-6

  UNLOCKING HER SURGEON’S HEART

  © 2015 Fiona Lowe

  Published in Great Britain 2015

  by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited

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