Sinking to her knees, she struggled to breathe. In a swift motion, she took off her fleece and the ISS sweatshirt she wore underneath. It was the one she’d taken from Ana, and she’d only parted with it when she was working with her father. She folded it and placed it on the ground, willing all of her pain into the garment as she slowly stepped away. Here lies our relationship. It was really and truly over. Jolie broke into a run, dust rising behind her as she put every ounce of power into running from the sweatshirt, from Ana. She was good at running, as good as Ana was, and she bolted to the car, set the coordinates to home, and traded one desolate landscape for another.
Chapter Thirty
Ana rubbed her eyes. She’d been in the truck for hours, and had finally just crossed into the tiny town of Valparaiso, population 208, as the sun rose behind her. Her erratic sleep schedule the last few days had left her ravenous at inopportune times, like a few hours ago when she passed through the heart of Iowa, a packet of peanuts and a gas station hog dog the only food she could find in the middle of the night. It was a little after seven in the morning now, and though she was excited to see Jolie for the first time in a month, she needed to be careful. Showing up so early indicated desperation, and she didn’t want that to be the first impression Jolie’s family had of her. She was, after all, someone that many, many people would have looked up to if she hadn’t resigned her position. She could still stand to be respectable.
The truck slowed at a four-way stop. A closed up diner was up ahead, its parking lot riddled with streaks of grass and other weeds that had crept into the cracked asphalt. If this was the center of town, Ana didn’t know how it ever sustained itself. There wasn’t a single house on the street that looked like it had been built or updated in the past fifty years. Shutters hung lopsided on single hinges, paint peeled, cars rusted in front yards. A few vehicles had passed hers on the way, headed down the road toward Lincoln, but there was little other activity or movement. The town seemed to be a still life of the remnants of rural America.
Ana couldn’t spend much more time driving around before someone inevitably got suspicious, so she directed her truck left at the instruction of an arrow on a sign pointing the way to a reservoir. A few miles down the road, she approached a dry lake basin. The wind on the plains was something she’d heard about, like the drought, but she’d never seen the impact of either. It was as empty as the desert she’d just come from, a melancholy, dusty haze covering the landscape. She sat in the truck as the dust from the lake bottom swirled close to the ground, sometimes flying up into a short-lived funnel. It was mesmerizing, watching it from here, and she felt the urge to walk across the fractured landscape. The lip of the former lake sloped quickly down to a wide swath of cracked mud that stretched far in one direction.
She took a deep breath of dusty air, coughing as it hit her throat. Jolie was nearby, somewhere, breathing the same air. She walked the length of the basin slowly, the sun filtering through the grit, bathing her in the ghost of an entire ecosystem that was long dead. She stepped on a fish skeleton, which made a sickening crunch under her foot. Ahead, she saw something on the ground. The closer she got, the more it resembled a torso, tossed carelessly into this lonely place. She quickened her step until she was twenty feet away, and then she saw what it was. A sweatshirt. She blew out a breath in relief, but something caught her eye. She picked the garment up and turned it over, her eyes widening. It had to be a coincidence. The front of the sweatshirt read ISS Trainee. It couldn’t be, could it? She noticed a hair trapped inside, its tail flying in the wind. Its color was unmistakable. There was no question in her exhausted mind as it connected the dots. Jolie had been here. Her impatience got the best of her and she ran back to her truck. She had to find Jolie now, before another moment went by not knowing whether she’d take her back.
The truck pulled in front of the small ranch house and Ana jumped out, rushing to the door. She rang the doorbell once, and waited. She heard movement in the house, but nobody came. As she lifted her finger to ring it again, an older woman opened the door a crack. She knew instinctively that this was Jolie’s mother, and Ana felt a deep ache in her chest. She was close, so close.
“Can I help you?” The woman asked, a look of annoyance crossing her face momentarily.
“Is Jolie here?” Ana asked, voice cracking.
“No.” The woman sighed. “She’s not here.”
Ana’s lip trembled.
“She’s been out in the fields all morning. They’ll be back for lunch in a couple hours. Can I help you in the meantime? It’s quite early, you know. Are you one of her high school friends?”
Ana froze, not knowing how to answer her. “I’m—No, I’m Ana.”
The woman looked surprised, then confused. “Honey, why don’t you come in and I’ll make you a cup of tea. I’m Iris, Jolie’s mother.”
Ana followed Iris into the small house, down the beige hallway and into a tidy but dismal living room. As she waited for the tea, Ana glanced around the room looking for signs of Jolie. The house felt so unlike her, everything compacted into a small space, confining to a free spirit like Jolie. Ana recognized a few boxes leaning against the far wall, ones she’d packed herself only months ago. Articles of clothing peeked from the half open lids and Ana smiled to herself at Jolie’s poor packing skills.
She heard the thud of a mug placed in front of her, and looked up. Iris stared at her for a moment, concerned, then took a chair across from the couch.
“Thank you,” Ana said.
“Why don’t you tell me why you’re here. My daughter’s been very upset lately,” Iris said.
Ana nodded and looked down at her hands. “Should I assume you know some of the back story?”
“Of course. Jolie said there were some secret parts, but she told me the basics.”
Ana nodded and took a good look at Iris. She looked tired, in the same way her own mother did, but there was a humanity behind her exhaustion. If anything, Iris loved too hard and worried too much. “I need to see Jolie because I can’t imagine my life without her. And now that I’ve resigned my position, I just hope she’ll take me back.”
Iris considered her for a long moment. Finally, she stood and crossed the room to sit on the couch. Ana scooted over a few inches to make room.
“I can’t speak for my daughter, but I think she’ll be happy to see you. It’ll be a couple of hours yet until they come back. I think you should let them alone until then,” she said, reading Ana’s thoughts. She wanted to run to her now, find her in the fields, and tell her everything. Jolie was so close, but may as well have been miles from her.
It took every ounce of willpower for Ana to consider waiting, but she agreed. “Okay, I’ll wait. Thank you for the tea. Jolie was always talking about how much she wanted to come back and visit.”
“So she talked about us? I thought she’d near forgotten she had family at all.”
Ana nodded. “She was scared to come back. I think she was afraid she’d never leave again.”
Iris sighed. “Can’t say I blame her.” She pulled an album from under the coffee table and handed it to Ana. “Why don’t you look at this and I’ll fix us some breakfast.”
Ana chuckled as she opened the book to a screen displaying baby pictures of Jolie. As Iris clattered around in the kitchen, she felt as close to home as she’d ever been. There was just one thing missing. She still didn’t have Jolie.
Chapter Thirty-one
Jolie wiped her hands on her jeans and jumped into her dad’s truck, not bothering to buckle up for the short ride back to the house. They’d finished the morning harvest and her stomach was rumbling. A nice big lunch before heading back out to the fields was the only thing on her mind. She loved the way hard work cleared her thoughts, especially when those thoughts were about Ana.
“Whose truck is that?” Her dad asked as they pulled onto the front yard.
Jolie looked up from cleaning the dirt out of her fingernails to see a familiar blue tru
ck parked next to her rental car. She drew in a quick breath and froze. What the hell was Ana doing here? Didn’t she realize Jolie had left the house on purpose, so she wouldn’t have to see her again?
Her dad looked at her. “Is that one of your friends?”
Jolie’s heart raced to understand, but nothing about this made sense. She pushed open the door without thinking and stormed up to the front door, dreading the moment she’d lay eyes on her very much ex-girlfriend. As she threw the door open, she heard laughing from the living room.
“Honey, is that you?” Iris called out, much too cheerfully. “You have a guest.”
She steeled her emotions and entered the room to a scene she couldn’t have made up. Her mother and Ana, sitting side by side on the couch, looking through old pictures. Two empty plates and some mugs littered the coffee table. A fork had even fallen on the floor. This was not the house she left this morning, and it wasn’t the mother she remembered. Ana had somehow charmed her way back into her life, and she couldn’t handle that again.
Ana’s hair was down and she raked it over one shoulder in a motion Jolie used to find appealing. Now, it annoyed her that Ana could sit in her living room and be so sexy when Jolie wasn’t supposed to want to run over and kiss her.
Jolie caught her breath and said, “Ana.”
“Hi,” Ana said, meekly.
Jolie hardly noticed when her parents slipped out of the room.
“Why are you here?” She had meant for it to sound demanding, so she was surprised to hear her voice crack with sadness.
Ana stood and walked toward her, wringing her hands. Jolie’s throat constricted as she recalled the last time she’d seen Ana in person, the heartbreak in the truck and the moment she walked away and heard Ana cry.
She felt tears forming and swiped at them with her palms. “Fuck. I was doing so well getting over you, and then you have to show up at my fucking house.” Jolie shook her head. “Don’t you get that I left so I wouldn’t have to see you again?” Tears ran down Jolie’s face as she tried to get a handle on her wildly shifting emotions.
“I’m sorry. I tried to call, message you, I tried everything.”
Jolie barely heard what Ana was saying. “You wanted to see me one more time before you leave me again? That’s fucking selfish.”
“Jo, please listen.”
“How can you just do that to someone?”
“Stop.” Ana caught her hands and held them, looking into her stinging eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. I resigned.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m not going to Mars anymore. You helped me realize that it’s not what I wanted,” Ana said.
“I don’t understand.”
“I love you, more than anything. I couldn’t imagine living millions of miles away from you and being happy, so I had to resign. I let a lot of people down, but it was still nothing compared to when I let you walk away in the first place. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.” Ana had subtly slipped her hands around Jolie’s waist as she spoke.
Jolie couldn’t believe she was hearing these words, and she was too jaded to take them at face value. Ana couldn’t possibly mean what she was saying. “But how can you just walk away from your whole life? I can’t give you what you want, Ana. I can’t give you anything like that. I’m just one person and I’m not exciting or far away.” Jolie wiped tears from her face. She found Ana’s hands and squeezed them. “I don’t want you to make a mistake. What if it doesn’t work out between us and then you lost your chance to do something extraordinary?”
“It’s not a mistake. I did it because there was no chance I’d be happy up there. Here, at least, I have a chance. Will you take it with me? Please?” Ana plead with her eyes, silently begging Jolie to jump back in. Ana pulled her closer. “Do you still love me?”
Jolie swallowed, her lips parting. Despite her reservations, the truth tumbled out. “I never stopped,” she whispered.
Chapter Thirty-two
Jolie paced the student art gallery, checking obsessively to make sure her sculptures were perfectly aligned and her drawings were in the correct order.
Nova appeared from behind a curtain and offered her a glass. “Here. Have some wine.”
“You know I shouldn’t drink this if I’m supposed to talk to people,” Jolie said in a harsh whisper, hoping Professor Anderson wasn’t within earshot.
“Look, hun. You’ve got thirty minutes before showtime, and you’re never going to make it without a sip of this.” Nova held the glass out.
Jolie took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. “Fine. One sip.”
“You look hot, by the way. Great dress.”
Jolie rolled her eyes. “We all know you picked it out for me. Stop congratulating yourself.” She smirked and took the wineglass from Nova.
As she was lifting it to her lips, she heard fast footsteps approaching.
“Eee! This is it! I’m so excited for you.” Karlee screeched as she hugged her from behind.
“Thanks. Now, you two go do a final walk-through and see if everything looks okay.” Jolie needed a moment alone to gather her thoughts before the gallery opened. Professor Anderson had confirmed the arrival of her friend who owned the gallery in Boston, and Jolie was certain she saw a local art critic milling around outside.
The chime of her bracelet signaling a new message caught her attention. I have a surprise for you, it said. A smile spread across her face and she bit her lip. The gallery doors opened and in walked her parents, looking completely overwhelmed and out of place. Jolie ran to them and hugged them both tightly.
“I can’t believe you guys are here,” she said, choking back tears. “How did you get here?”
They all turned toward the door and Ana sauntered in, wearing a simple black cocktail dress and an enormous smile.
“Can I steal her for a moment?” Ana asked, not waiting for an answer as she grabbed Jolie’s hand and led her behind the curtain.
As soon as they were out of view, Jolie snaked her arms around Ana’s neck and pulled her in for a long kiss that took her breath away. She was still getting used to Ana being here, especially when she saw an update from the Mars crew, currently hurtling through the darkness of space at thousands of miles per hour. She pressed her face to Ana’s neck, breathing her in. She was here. She was real.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you. That was the second best surprise ever.” Jolie ran her fingers along Ana’s exposed upper back.
“Mmm, yeah? What was the first?”
“You know what it was. When you showed up at my house. You’re good at surprises. I love you for that.”
Ana slid her hands below the hem of Jolie’s lacy red dress, grabbing her butt and pulling her closer. “I am good at surprises. But who said that was the surprise?”
Jolie moaned and pressed her mouth to Ana’s, their tongues entwining.
“Ahem,” she heard faintly. “Ahem.” Louder this time, almost giving her pause. “Jolie. Ana,” Nova’s voice boomed. “Get your asses out here before I have to come back there, which I do not want to do.”
Jolie heard some snickering on the other side of the curtain and pulled away from Ana. “I guess we should continue this later.”
“Yeah.” Ana gathered her into one final hug. “We have all the time in the world.”
About the Author
Jane C. Esther is a librarian by day and a writer by night. Her idea of a good time involves a microscope, binoculars, trashy TV about the British royal family, or randomly singing Broadway show tunes. You can find her recounting the results of the latest scientific studies to whoever will listen, and secretly transforming her house into an indoor vegetable farm. She lives in New England with her wife and dog, and can be reached at www.janecesther.com. The Universe Between Us is her first novel.
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