He pressed his front paws to the side of her leg and rested his head on her thigh, looking as innocent as possible about the fact that he wasn’t quite on the passenger side. She rolled her eyes and snorted. Familiars—couldn’t live with them, couldn’t kill them, always impossible to deal with. Jack said that Selina’s German shepherd familiar was the biggest attitude on four legs, but for sheer swagger, Erin suspected Balthasar had him beat. Not that she could say so, because then she’d have to explain why she knew so much about Luca Cavalli’s familiar. Yeah, so not going down that road.
Focusing on familiars helped her calm down enough that she was almost steady by the time she reached Luca’s house. He lived in a posh area of Madison Park, though his house wasn’t one of the bazillion dollar monsters that some people had built in this part of Seattle. He tended to come to her condo more often than she came here, which she didn’t mind, but his place was nice.
And she might never see it again, what with her new let’s-get-distant policy on a certain vampiric FBI agent. Her heart squeezed at the notion, but she tamped down on that, grabbed her purse, scooped Balthasar into her arms and jogged up to the front door.
He already had it open before she got up the porch steps, and he stood there framed by the light spilling from his living room. He wore a pair of patterned pajama pants that looked soft to the touch and a cotton T-shirt that hugged his muscles like a lover. Damn, but he was sexy.
He arched his eyebrows at her. “I said I’d come out.”
“I know.” She brushed a hand down her cat-fuzzed shirt and looked anywhere but at him. It was entirely possible she’d start drooling if she stared too long. “Anyway, here’s your cat.”
The familiar squirmed until she let him down, and he darted past Luca’s feet into the house. They both watched the cat until he disappeared up the staircase.
“Sorry he’s been a bother. Would you like to come in? I just made some coffee.” A small smile touched his lips. “I was out drinking with the team. Rough day.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” Did she ever. This day had sucked hairy donkey balls. Sweaty ones. Yep, that nasty.
He tilted his head. “If I remember correctly, caffeine doesn’t keep you from sleeping either.”
“It doesn’t.” She shouldn’t do it, but she didn’t want to be alone. It was weak and stupid, but there it was. So she stepped over the threshold into his domain.
He shut the door and led the way into the kitchen. He moved with the inherent grace of his race, but she could see tension in the muscles in his back, in the stiff set of his shoulders. He was upset about something. Work? Her? Both? Maybe something else. She didn’t know, so she followed him in silence.
Not looking at her, he moved around his spacious kitchen while she rested her elbows against the marble-topped island in the middle of the room. It wasn’t as modern as her kitchen at home, and it could definitely use an industrial stove and fridge, but it wouldn’t offend her sensibilities to cook here. Not that she ever had. Mostly when she came over here, Luca had dragged her to the floor, bent her over the couch, taken her against the wall. There was even one memorable episode on the big antique wooden desk in his home office. She didn’t even think they’d ever made it to the bedroom. This was certainly the longest she’d been here and kept her clothes on.
The thought made her hormones hum with an awareness that always seemed to be present when she was near him, like a live wire just waiting to be tapped into.
“What do you want in your coffee?” His words were clipped as he grabbed mugs from the cupboard to set on the counter. The longer they’d stood there, the more rigid his posture had become. She doubted most people would have noticed, but she knew what a truly relaxed Luca looked like, and this wasn’t it.
“I’d rather you just tell me what’s wrong,” she answered softly. Though a part of her didn’t want to know, or rather, knew that his response wasn’t going to be one she enjoyed. Her heart skipped a beat, trepidation fluttering in her belly.
A snort burst from him. “Many things.”
“Name one.”
“You.”
She closed her eyes, a sigh soughing out of her throat. Yeah, that’s what she’d been afraid he’d say.
“I deserved the courtesy of a phone call, Erin.”
Dropping her chin to her chest, she closed her eyes. “I know.”
When she looked up, he’d finally turned to face her. There was pain in his gaze, and that cut at something deep inside her; something she refused to name, but knew she shouldn’t feel.
His mouth worked for a moment before he spoke, and his accent grew thicker as his voice roughened. “If you’re here to end our affair, just do it. Don’t leave me in suspense.”
“I don’t want to end our affair.” And until she’d said the words aloud, she didn’t realize how true they were. It rang like a clarion bell in her head. No. No, she absolutely did not want to end things with him. The weight that had been pressing on her chest for the last few days lessened. Not all the way, but she took the first easy breath since she’d watched him walk out her door.
“Then what’s this been about?” He stepped forward until he could press his palms to the other side of the island. “Avoiding my calls, not answering my texts. What happened?”
“I…” She bit her lip, wishing she could give him a response that wouldn’t leave her soul stripped bare. It was too soon for that. She wasn’t even sure what she felt, what she wanted. She just knew she didn’t want to walk away.
It was probably a huge mistake, and she was definitely going to get her heart trampled on, but…that was just how it was going to be. There could never be anything permanent between them for about forty-five different—and valid—reasons, but she liked this man. She wanted him. She wanted him in her life for as long as she could keep him. Doing what she could to guard her heart would help, but in the end, she’d have more invested in their affair than he would. That meant she’d get hurt. She clenched her teeth, steeling herself. So be it. It wouldn’t be the first time, and the chance to be with him was more important than the prospect of being hurt.
God, she sounded like the worst kind of masochist.
She blinked and he was in front of her, bending so his gaze was level with hers. He asked, “You… What is it?”
“I worry about us getting too close.” There. That was informative, but not too revealing.
Those dark eyes seemed to reach down deep inside her and see far more than she was comfortable with. She wanted to squirm but she forced herself to keep her gaze locked with his.
“What happened to make this a sudden concern?” His brow furrowed. “Was it because of the comment about hiding out at your house? Erin, it was—”
“A joke, I know.” She glanced down. “The idea was a little too appealing and it scared me. Our affair isn’t like that. It doesn’t have that potential. I know that.” She looked up, jutting her jaw mutinously. “I worry about getting too close. Let’s leave it at that.”
“Sure.” He nodded. “I promise not to ask you to go steady if you promise to stop hinting about getting that diamond engagement ring. Then you don’t have to worry about such things.”
A laugh strangled out of her, and gratitude filled her that he’d lightened the moment with teasing rather than push her for more. “Sapphire, please. Diamonds are boring.”
“Right. How could I have forgotten, since you mention it so often?” He huffed, settling back against the island and crossing his arms. He met her gaze from the corner of his eyes. “Too close or not, I didn’t like being without you, Erin.”
“Luca…” Her throat closed up, her heart stuttering. She had to remind herself—ruthlessly—that he was in love with someone else. And he was a vampire when she came from a family of wolves. He didn’t mean what he’d said the way her foolish heart wished he did.
“I didn’t like it,” he repeated quietly. “We’re friends at least, aren’t we?”
“Friends
with benefits, but…yeah, I guess so.” Friends wasn’t exactly the word she’d use. Their relationship—such as it was—was both too personal and not personal enough to be labeled as something as simple as friends. But she’d didn’t really have a better word to describe what she felt for him.
“They are excellent benefits, indeed.” He stroked a thumb down the patch of hair under his lip. “And you don’t ignore your friends’ calls for days on end, right?”
“Right.” She tried not to wince, but stepped away so she could face him squarely. “I am sorry, Luca. No matter what my worries about us were, that was really crappy of me.”
His throat worked as he swallowed. “Just…don’t do it again.”
“I won’t.” She wanted to lay her hand on his arm—normally would have done so without a second thought—but things were different today, morphing too fast for her to know what was right and what was wrong.
“If those concerns of yours get more intense than you want to deal with, and you decide you want out, just say so. Don’t jerk me around.”
“I’m not jerking you around, and I’m sorry.” She twisted her lips. “It’s not just about you either. It’s been a bad few days for me.”
He grunted. “If you’d have called, maybe I could have helped with whatever was wrong. That’s what friends do.”
See, now there was a line she didn’t think they should cross. For him, this was still mostly about sex—very, very good sex—and mixing all the crazy other parts of their lives together would be like oil and water. Or fire and gasoline. They could call each other friends, but their families would hate each other, and anything she had to hear about his work that involved his one-true-love, Tess, would soon feel like salt on a wound. It just wouldn’t work.
How Erin felt was out of her control, but what she did with those feelings wasn’t. Trying to make something real out of their booty call arrangement would make her certifiable, even if she hadn’t hit delusional mode in the parking lot earlier. Which was still uncertain. But all of this was definitely a discussion she didn’t want to have.
Time for a distraction.
She gave him a slow, promising smile. “You could help me now.”
Yeah, help her with a very big, eyes-rolling-back screaming orgasm. She let her smile grow wider, naughtier. His eyes narrowed as if he might be deciding if he wanted to let her get away with this unsubtle ploy. For half a second, she thought he might turn her down.
“Take your clothes off,” he ordered, staying where he was leaning casually against the island, arms folded, ankles crossed.
She set her purse on the marble surface next to his elbow, then flicked open the button on her pants. “You don’t want to take them off for me?”
Shaking his head slowly, his gaze stayed pinned to the hand on her fly. “No, I want to watch. I want to see all your curves. I’ve missed them.”
He’d gone longer without seeing them when he was out in the field working a case. Though their nocturnal visits had gotten closer together the longer their association continued, it wasn’t as if they saw each other every night.
She temporarily left her pants behind and hooked finger under the bottom of her shirt. She tugged up the hem of her black T-shirt, baring her midriff while he looked on with blatant hunger. Oh yeah. She liked that. She’d always liked the way he looked at her, as if she had his entire focus and nothing in the world was more important than this moment he spent with her. It was a heady feeling, to own the attention of a man like him.
After slipping her top over her head, she let it drop to the counter next to her purse. Then she reached behind her to unhook her bra. “I think it should be one piece of clothing each, as a fair exchange. Your turn.”
The man had his shirt off so fast she was surprised he didn’t get rug burn on his arms.
“Don’t stop.” The low, husky timbre of his voice made her shiver. It was just the tone he used when he was over her, about to slide deep inside her pussy. Her inner muscles clenched at the thought.
Jesus, she wanted him. Shrugging her shoulder sent her bra sliding down her arms to the floor. She didn’t have to look to know her nipples were beaded tight. Heat flowed through her, a rising wave of want that wouldn’t be denied. The craving had plagued her for the past few nights, a need that no one could fulfill the way he could. She let her hands drift up her ribs until she cupped her breasts, a moan escaping her when she touched the sensitive tips.
A low hiss echoed from him, and something wild flashed in his eyes. His hands had curled into fists at his sides, as if to stop himself from reaching out to take over fondling her breasts.
She skated her palms down her stomach and slipped her fingers into the waistband of her pants, but didn’t pull them down.
“Now you,” she whispered.
He arched an eyebrow. “I’m wearing pajamas. I don’t have anything on under this.”
“Neither do I.” She tugged her fly apart just wide enough that he could see she was telling the truth.
His pupils flared, and his chest expanded in a ragged breath. “Cristo santo, Erin. You’re trying to kill me.”
Wanton heat pulsed through her, making her ache. She could feel how slick her pussy had grown, her heart-rate and breath sped, and the anticipation of what was to come made her thighs quiver. “Can you think of a better way to go?”
“Not one.” The erection that tented the front of his pajama bottoms stretched even further, and she needed him inside her so badly she thought she might scream. Her sex throbbed, and she wanted him to touch her, kiss her, fuck her so long and hard she forgot every problem in her life. Hell, until she forgot her own name.
She toed off her shoes and kicked them aside. “Last piece off together then?”
Nodding, he kept his gaze glued to her hands as they pushed their pants down. She took him in just as greedily. Muscular legs that stretched on forever, sprinkled with just enough hair to be masculine. His cock curved in a long arc that danced just below his navel. She wanted to slide her tongue over every hot inch of him.
“Take your hair down.” He groaned when she did, the curls tumbling around her shoulders. “La mia Bella. So lovely.”
She held her arms out to him. “Come here.”
He closed the distance between them so fast his movements were a blur. In the space between heartbeats he was on her, slamming his lips down over hers. She shoved her tongue into his mouth as lust boiled. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed as close to him as possible. The feel of his hard body molded to her softer form was enough to rip a moan out of her. So good. Her pussy fisted on nothingness, needing to be filled by him, stretched to the limit. His palms slipped up her sides, then down her back to curl over her ass, lifting her into him, and she wrapped one leg around his.
“I’ve missed your hands on me, Luca,” she whispered, arching into him.
“Yes.” He slid his tongue up the side of her throat until he reached her ear, sucking on the lobe. “Cara mia. Erin, Erin. Yes.”
The slight roughness of his chest hair against her nipples made her whimper, her need spiking high. She cupped his buttocks, holding on to him much as he held her. Close, closer. She couldn’t resist skimming a finger between the globes of his ass. He jolted, the muscles in those tight cheeks flexing, and a shudder ran through him.
A chuckle bubbled out of her, and she pressed in to circle her fingertip around the pucker of his anus. “Do you want my fingers inside you, Luca?”
The ragged hiss that came from his mouth was all vampire. She felt his lips open on her throat, the scoring of his fangs, but he didn’t bite. Instead, he flicked his tongue over her skin, kissing his way down until he bent her backward over his arm. Then he suckled her breast, drawing on the nipple hard. She shoved her hands into his hair and twisted her fingers in the silky locks. The edge of his teeth scraped the sensitive flesh, and he swirled around the areola with the very tip of his tongue to soothe the sting.
“Luca,” she gasped. “
Please!”
He spun her until she faced the counter and bent her forward over the cool granite. The chill of the stone on her overheated flesh made her breath stop. He crowded in behind her, forcing her legs to part for him. Pinning her hands to the countertop, he trapped her in place. She jerked against his hold but couldn’t break free. Of course not. He was a vampire—far stronger and faster than she could ever imagine.
If she didn’t know down to her bones that he would never harm her, she’d have been terrified. As it was, she turned herself over to the experience. He would make it good for her. She pushed back as much as she could in her pinned position, desperate for more, for him.
“I can feel how you want me, how excited you are, how your heart pounds.” He dropped a kiss to the middle of her back. “No one else has energy this sweet.”
His words just underscored everything she felt, heightened her awareness of her own reactions. The quiver that ran through her muscles, the dampness of her core, the burn of need within her.
“Stay right there,” he whispered. His lips skimmed down her spine, his hands curving around her hips to hold her still. The very tip of his tongue ran down the centerline of her ass, just as her finger had done to his earlier. He nipped at one cheek, kissed the other. The heat of his breath rushed against her skin, and her body tensed in anticipation. His fingers tightened on her flesh, pulling her buttocks apart.
Oh, God. Was he going to—?
She didn’t even finish the question before his tongue slipped in to circle her anus. His left hand moved until it teased her sex, the pad of his thumb brushing back and forth over her hardened clit. A short cry burst from her mouth as his tongue and his finger thrust into her, filling both passages in one swift movement.
She stood on tiptoe as pleasure almost too intense to bear pierced her. “Oh God. Luca.”
The only response he gave was to continue with exactly what he was doing. He fucked her with his hand and his mouth, his tongue driving into her ass again and again. It was a punch of shock to her system. Of all the sexual acts they’d committed together, he’d never done this before. Dark, forbidden ecstasy streaked through her, and she writhed on the countertop, the hard stone unyielding as Luca held her there, her body trapped in the raw sensations he forced her to experience. His tongue and fingers moved in tandem so that she was always filled by him, taken, possessed. Each time he entered her, her pussy clenched tight, and she pushed herself into him.
Edge of the Night (Night #3) Page 10
