Crossroads

by Tracie Peterson

  He sat parked in front of the shop for several minutes before deciding to drive by Leslie’s house. If her car was in the drive, he’d stop and visit with her there. If not, he’d head over to the hospital and hope that she’d be able to give him some private time to explain his situation. Either way, Darrin felt more and more apprehensive about facing the truth. He’d come to care about her, love her in a way that he’d never expected. This was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Yet, this was also the woman who might never accept him in her life because of the past and what his name would forever be a reminder of.

  Slowing down as he drove past the Heyward house, Darrin saw no sign of Leslie’s Toyota. She must be with Travis, he concluded and headed to the hospital. But, upon entering pediatrics, Kelly greeting him with the same news she’d given him the day before.

  “Oh, Darrin, you just missed Leslie. She was here for about half an hour, and she took off. Had some kind of meeting and said she’d be back around lunchtime.” She pulled a breakfast tray from a tall, four-wheeled cart and added, “Travis is eating right now, but you’re welcome to go on in. He’s been moved, you know. It’s the third room down that hall.” She pointed.

  “Thanks, Kelly.” Darrin went in search of Travis, hoping that he might shed some light on Leslie’s absence.

  “Well, hey there, partner. You remember me?” Darrin asked, coming in to find Travis negotiating a bowl of cereal.

  “You’re Leslie’s friend,” Travis stated matter-of-factly. “You’re Darrin.”

  “That’s right, but I’m your friend, too. At least I’d like to be.”

  Travis’s face lit up, and a smile spread from ear to ear. “Do you like Legos?”

  Darrin nodded. “I think they’re the best toy in the world.”

  Travis’s face grew contemplative. “They’re not just toys.”

  Darrin realized his mistake instantly. “Oh, of course not.” He pulled up a chair alongside the bed. “No, they’re really a great deal more than just toys.”

  Travis nodded as though important information was being shared between two people in the same secret society. “I build things with them,” Travis said, dribbling milk down the front of his hospital pajamas as the spoon wobbled on the way to his mouth. ‘I build a lot.”

  “I’ll bet you do. Have you ever made a whole town out of Legos?” Darrin asked, trying his best to endear himself to the boy.

  “Oh, sure,” Travis replied. “All the time. The hard thing is to make airplanes and helicopters. I can make them with rubber bands and Legos, and the propellers can really turn.”

  Darrin smiled in admiration. “That’s pretty creative.”

  “Oh, I saw it in the Lego magazine, but I know a lot of stuff about it already.”

  Darrin wanted to chuckle at the boy’s creative confidence, but instead he decided to change the subject. “Has your sister been in today?”

  “Yup,” Travis said and turned his concentration on a piece of jellied toast.

  “Did she say where she was going? I mean, I know she had some kind of meeting, right?” Darrin asked, hoping the boy wouldn’t clam up on him now.

  “Sure. She told me,” Travis said. His little brows knitted together as he tried to remember. “She was going to the bank for clothes.”

  “The bank?” Darrin questioned. “She was going to buy clothes at the bank? Maybe she just meant she was going to get some money to buy clothes. Is she going shopping for you – is that who the clothes are for?”

  Travis began shaking his head. “No. They’re for bears.”

  Now Darrin was genuinely confused. “For bears? Leslie is buying clothes for bears?”

  “That’s what she said,” Travis replied, seeming completely unconcerned that it made no sense in Darrin’s adult world.

  “Can you remember exactly what she said, Travis?”

  Travis put the toast down as if exasperated with Darrin’s inability to understand. “She said she was going to see some bears at the bank for clothes.”

  Darrin fell silent, trying to make sense of it all, while Travis, seeing that his visitor was apparently satisfied with the answer, continued to eat his breakfast.

  Bears? Clothes? What does it mean, God? It just doesn’t make any sense. The only thing that did make sense was that Leslie had gone to the bank. Maybe he could catch up with her there. But which bank and. . .Then a thought came to Darrin. A very awful thought.

  “Travis, are you sure your sister said bears? Could it have been buyers?”

  Travis shrugged. Darrin was feeling a sick dread in the pit of his stomach. Was Leslie meeting buyers for the shop because the bank planned to foreclose? Fearing the worse, he got up. “Travis, I’ll be back to see you later. Can I bring you anything?”

  Travis beamed a smile. “There’s a new Lego set with enough stuff to build a time machine,” he said in an offhand manner. “You could bring that.”

  “You got it, buddy. If I can find it, it’s yours.”

  With that Darrin fairly flew out of the hospital, pausing only long enough to call Leslie’s house. With any luck at all, he’d get ahold of Leslie’s aunt Margie and perhaps she would be able to tell him where Leslie had gone. If Leslie was planning to sell the shop because the bank was threatening foreclosure, he had to stop her.

  Filling Margie in on the details, including the fact that he’d already arranged to pay Travis’s hospital bill, Darrin was finally given the information he needed to stop Leslie from selling Crossroads. He arrived at the bank, and after insisting the receptionist interrupt the meeting, practically dragged Leslie into the hall outside the office.

  Her stunned expression did little to calm his nerves. “Look, you need to stop what you’re doing and come with me.”

  “Why? Is something wrong with Travis?” Leslie asked, looking suddenly panicked.

  “No,” Darrin assured her, “but you don’t have to do this. I can’t explain it all here, but put your people off. Tell them you’ve changed your mind, or that I made you a better deal, or whatever, but just put an end to this meeting and come back to Crossroads with me.”

  “Darrin, I’m in the middle of –”

  “I know what you’re in the middle of, and you don’t have to sell the shop. Just come with me, and I’ll explain.” Darrin persisted.

  “All right, Darrin,” Leslie said, exasperation edging her voice, “but this better be good.”

  Back at Crossroads, Leslie allowed Darrin to take charge and lead her to the table in the very back of the shop. He sat down opposite her, seeing the confusion written in her expression, and sighed.

  “This isn’t going to be easy for me, Leslie, but I have a great deal I need to tell you.”

  “Like about your fiancée? Leslie asked, her blue-green eyes searching for the truth in his face.

  “Ex-fiancée,” he stated clearly. Then changing his mind as to the order in which he would confess his sins, Darrin continued. “Yes, I want to explain about her as well, but first and foremost, I feel I have to tell you something of much greater importance.”

  “All right,” Leslie replied, sounding much calmer than she looked.

  Darrin sighed again. Where do I begin? he wondered. “You don’t need to worry about the shop,” he finally said. “First of all, if there is a problem with the rent or the bills or whatever, I want you to know that I intend to see it taken care of.”

  “But –”

  “No, hear me out,” Darrin said, halting her questions. “I’ve already arranged to pay for Travis’s hospital bills, and if your time away from Crossroads has caused problems with the bank, then I’ll take care of that as well.”

  Leslie’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “But, Darrin,” she insisted, “Travis’s bill is going to amount to more than fifteen thousand dollars. I can’t let you pay that. You don’t even know us, and we certainly don’t know you. There’s absolutely nothing to connect you to us, and certainly nothing to obligate you to seeing to our welfare.�
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  Darrin frowned. “But there is, Leslie. You see,” he paused trying to find just the right words, “what I’m going to tell you will probably change things between us forever, but I just want to tell you something first, before I explain any more about why I’m doing this. I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  The color drained from her face, and she sat back hard against the chair.

  “I told you that I wanted to be more than friends, and I meant it. I meant it because I’ve lost my heart to you and . . .” He stopped. “This isn’t what I came here to say.”

  “Then what?” Leslie managed to ask.

  Darrin stood and paced the aisle between the table and the counter. “Leslie, my name is Darrin Malone. I live in Kansas City, and the first time I ever set eyes on you was on our flight down to Dallas.”

  “You were the man next to me. I remember you now,” Leslie said, gasping in surprise. “I thought you looked familiar, but I could never place it. Of course, I had a lot on my mind then.”

  “I know,” Darrin replied. “The thing is, we share a great deal and most of it you aren’t even aware of, but when you understand the full details, you may never speak to me again. I’m just begging you to hear me out before you try to throw me out.”

  “Why would I throw you out?” Leslie asked, shaking her head in confusion.

  “Because I’m Darrin Malone.”

  “But that doesn’t mean anything to –” She stopped in mid-sentence. “Malone?”

  “Yes,” Darrin said, nodding. “I’m Darrin Malone, and my father is, or rather was, Michael Malone – the man responsible for killing your parents.”

  SEVENTEEN

  “Darrin, how? I mean, why didn’t you. . .” Leslie shook her head in disbelief. This couldn’t be real. He couldn’t be telling her that he was part of her pain. “Your father was the man who. . .” She couldn’t bring herself to say the rest.

  She watched through tears that threatened to spill over as Darrin began to pace nervously. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, he struggled to continue. “I don’t really know how to explain all this to you, Leslie. You see, my father and I were never close. He had always been an alcoholic, for as long as I could remember. He and my mother separated, and after she died from cancer, I was his only living relative. I grew up hating him for killing my mother through his drunken acts of stupidity, making her a nervous wreck. He was always getting into wrecks and fender-benders, but this was the first time anyone was ever injured by his carelessness, besides himself.”

  “I was the one the Dallas police department located to identify his body and make arrangements for burial and so on. I met you on the plane ride down, and I think you’ve had my heart ever since. It wasn’t until later that night when the story was on the evening news that I finally figured out who you really were and who the victims of my father’s foolishness were. I was overwhelmed by guilt and anger. I felt I had to make things right, no matter the cost. I found out all I could about you and your remaining family, and that’s how I came to Crossroads and to you.”

  He paused, and Leslie could tell he was monitoring her for some response, but she was unable to say anything. The reality of Darrin’s role seeped into her consciousness. She sat completely motionless and waited for him to continue.

  “Then, Travis got sick, and I insisted that all his bills be sent to me. I instructed it to be done in secret because I knew you would never accept my help outright. I meant to tell you before you found out the total, but obviously, I was a little late. That’s why you don’t have to sell the shop.”

  Leslie felt tears hot on her cheeks. “So you did all this out of guilt? You never really cared for me or for Travis? Do you even like raspberry lattes?” She knew it sounded insignificant, but she had to know if it was a farce – if everything he had done had been to absolve his conscience.

  Darrin sat down at the table. “No, no, Leslie. I do care about you and Travis and Crossroads. That’s what I need you to see. It began as guilt, but I came to care about you beyond that. I would’ve helped you even if I hadn’t know about –”

  “No, you wouldn’t have! I never would have met you if you hadn’t been racked with guilt. You would never have come back into my life. And that really scares me. I’ve come to care about you quite a bit, Darrin, and I truly thought of you as a friend. I still do. I just wish you had told me the truth from the beginning.”

  Leslie couldn’t tell what she was feeling. It was like rage, disappointment, frustration, and hurt all wrapped up into one. She loved this man. She really did. Not for the reasons she thought she would fall in love when she was a teenager, but for so much more. For the way his patience never ran out with her. For the way he would sit with her for hours on end in a hospital waiting room. For talking with her and allowing her to vent her frustrations, her worries, and her troubles. For smiling that Darrin-smile whenever he spotted her in the coffee shop. Now, she realized that the man she had lost her heart to was the son of the drunk driver who had killed her parents. This fact was supposed to change everything, at least in Darrin’s eyes. But did it?

  “Leslie, I need to know what you’re feeling?”

  “How can I tell you what I’m feeling when I don’t even know what it is, myself?”

  “I understand, but I need to know where I stand with you.” His eyes were pleading, and his face was strained with compassion.

  “It’s not your job to look out for me or to repair the damage he did. But. . .” Leslie stopped and sighed.

  “But what?”

  “I can’t accept your help. It’s not right. I don’t want to be obligated to you. . .”

  “Leslie, didn’t you pray for help? Didn’t you ask God to help you and protect you through this time of trial?” Leslie nodded. “Why can’t I be that help? Why can’t I be the one God sent to help you through this?”

  “No!” she said adamantly. “I don’t want to be tied any closer to you than I already am!” She looked away, as though ashamed of the implication of her feelings. Her long blond hair fell over her shoulders and framed her face. Bringing her gaze back to meet his, she watched as pain crept into his eyes.

  “Leslie, talk to me. Don’t hide your feelings from me. Not now. This is too important.” His dark blue eyes implored her to open up. “I need to know that you don’t hate me. At least that. If you don’t love me, fine. I just can’t stand to think you despise me.”

  Leslie immediately felt guilt for the harshness of her words. She hated to hurt anyone. “It just wouldn’t be appropriate.” Her expression softened. “I can’t lie to you, Darrin. Despite all my willpower and all my determination, I fell in love with you, too. But it doesn’t matter what I feel for you. You have a fiancée,” she offered weakly.

  “Ex-fiancée. Leslie, that’s over. It was over a long time ago, at least to anyone astute enough to see the warning signs. Laurelin and I were never right for each other. When you called, I was just about to explain to Laurelin that I was breaking off the engagement. Ever since the accident, God has been working me over in a major way. I came to realize that Lin and I didn’t share the same faith or the same values or even the same interests. She had a way of making herself convenient and I was desperate enough to fall into her trap. When I listened to my heart and sought God’s way, instead of Darrin Malone’s way, I was led to the truth. The Lord led me away from Laurelin, and He led me to you.”

  Leslie shook her head in exasperation. “Darrin, I don’t know what to think. I don’t know why you’re here, and I don’t know how to feel about you or about us. You said you loved me, but then you tell me that guilt and shame brought you into my life. How can we build a relationship off that?”

  “We already have, but there’s so much more, Leslie. I do love you. And not because I feel obligated to. I fell in love with the woman I saw day after day. The woman who struggled but managed to keep on going. The woman who confided her fears to me and who laughed with me. The woman who was not afraid to be honest
and up front with me, even though she had no real idea who I was. I love you, Leslie. I hope that you can forgive me for not telling you the truth about my father and about my presence in your life. I was just so afraid you would hate me for who I was.”

  “What kind of person do you think I am? How could anyone blame you because of your father’s deeds? You didn’t hand him the drinks or the keys. You didn’t demand that he drive that night or encourage him to hit my parents’ car. You had nothing to do with it. I do love you. But not because you were saving me from the evils of this world. It was because you were sharing them with me. I don’t want a savior, Darrin. I have one, and His name is Jesus. I don’t expect you to right the wrongs of my life. That’s not what I need.” She placed a hand over Darrin’s. “I need you to be my friend and my companion. I need you to be more. But you can’t be of any good to either of us if you’re trying to atone for the sins of your father. You have to let that go, and you have to forgive him. It took a lot of prayer and a lot of God’s grace to allow me to forgive your father, but I did. You need to do the same.”

  Darrin’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s so hard. I try. I really do. I just thought that you’d hate me if you knew the truth. I felt so bad that he’d taken them away from you. I wanted to help you, but I didn’t want you to think I was being some great martyr. The more I was with you, the more I came to love you and admire you for your strength and your faith. Even now, you still amaze me with your confidence and your trust. I can’t say that I never doubted god or that in your position I would even be able to maintain my faith.”

  Leslie smiled sympathetically. “I know what you mean. I wish you could’ve heard me during the days following the accident. I was so lost. I blamed God. I blamed your father. I blamed everything. Margie helped me deal with my anger and brought me back to the truth. I can’t say I did it all on my own. And I’m not saying you have to do it all on your own, either.”