Paper Dolls [Book Five]
Page 33
I didn’t know what to say.
“What? Sky, I-”
“No, you know. Forget it. Of course! I should have assumed you didn’t mean it when you said you wanted to hangout. I get it. I’m a problem. You don’t have to try to help me, Avery. I’ll be fine.”
“Skylar!”
“What?”
“Don’t- Don’t say stuff like that. Of course I want to hang out with you. I just thought you and Nat…”
“What? Might hit it off? Avery, that girl is nothing like you.”
“Yeah, well, maybe that’s a good thing?” I said. “I haven’t exactly been the best for you.”
“Bullshit!” Skylar said. “Avery, that’s bullshit!” She seemed really pissed and hurt now.
“Sky, why are you yelling at me?”
“I don’t know!” She yelled back before calming. “That girl just pissed me off. I don’t like seeing her all over Olivia like that.”
“Believe me Sky, that was tame.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, Nat doesn’t hold back. That’s not in her nature. She’s a bitch sometimes and she’s open about how she feels.” My anger was fizzling out now that it was just us. “She said you were hot by the way.”
“What?!” Skylar laughed awkwardly.
“Look, I don’t know what I was thinking. Believe it or not, I actually really like Nat. I really do.” It was funny. Nat could be really likable when she wanted to be.
“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself,” Skylar grumbled.
“No. I’m not. I really do like her Skylar. I understand where she’s coming from.”
“Why?”
“Why do I like her? Because she was worried about Vi. She wasn’t mad at me or jealous, she was worried that I might be bad for her and she approached me. We talked. Their relationship wasn’t exactly simple, Skylar.”
“It could've been a trick,” Skylar said.
“For what though?!” I laughed. That was a paranoid way to think.
“For this. Look at how nonchalant you are with how they were.”
“Once again, they’re just friends,” I said. “And besides. This was all my idea. Vi hasn’t even seen Nat since before the lodge. I think she’s deliberately stayed away. I’ve seen Nat way more than she has.”
“Whoa, why?”
“First time I wanted to meet her. It was complicated. She sort of freaked out on me.”
“Freaked out on you how?”
“It just… It wasn’t good and I thought the whole thing was going to be different. I was like you, I wanted to hate her.”
Skylar got quiet after that.
“What changed your mind?” Skylar asked after a while.
“I realized she loved her. Olivia hadn’t even known.”
“That’s sad…” Skylar said.
“It is,” I agreed. “Anyway. As you can see. I’m in no place to get mad at them right now. I don’t even think either of them wanted to be here.”
“Wow. Okay. So no one wants to hang out with me.”
“Whoa, no. Skylar,” I laughed darkly, mad at myself. “That is NOT what I meant.”
“Yeah, well. You don’t mean a lot of the shitty things you say but that doesn't make them any less shitty,” she grumbled, walking off.
In the distance I could see Nat and Olivia sitting across from each other in a booth through the windows. They were talking and smiling. Pushing a drink back and forth. Nat had easily cooled down.
Skylar was walking away.
“Come on Skylar, stop,” I called after her, moving quicker and physically taking her hand to get her to stop.
“Look, I was excited about tonight,” her voice cracked. “I know that it’s dumb and that it probably sounds stupid to you but I’ve really missed you and I was excited.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. I was saying that so much now. I tried to touch her but she kept pulling away.
“I need you to stop touching me,” she said.
“Sorry,” I said again, feeling so very strange. I was on the outside of my own life right now somehow.
I took a step back.
“Hey, that’s not stupid,” I said. I didn't want to overstep my bounds but I obviously had. “I was looking forward to this too but I ruined it, okay. I take responsibility for that. Sometimes I get these ideas and they make sense in my head but they’re dumb.”
“Avery,” she sighed.
“I’m not asking you to feel sorry for me. I don’t need that, Sky. I just really didn’t know this was going to upset you. I didn’t foresee this,” I said. “And about that before? Olivia really likes you. She actually said she likes hanging out with just you.”
“What?” Skylar smiled reluctantly.
“I think she gets jealous when she has to see us together.”
“We’re not all over each other though. We’re not like that.”
“They’re just close,” I said. “Olivia’s been hanging back and watching us be close for months,” I reminded. I felt like I was trying to convince us both now.
“Yeah but we never fucked…” Skylar said flatly.
“True,” I said. Somehow I wondered though if maybe for Olivia that was worse. “Ya know, she said I flirted with you. Do you think that’s true?” It was wrong of me to ask.
“I can’t answer that,” Skylar laughed awkwardly.
After I kept quiet a second she started to speak again. “Before Olivia, I really thought we had a secret understanding Avery. Of course I thought you were flirting with me. I thought you walked on water and invented the moon. We slept together. I was your only close friend at Huntington. I was yours Avery. I lived for you. What am I now?” She asked, deflating me.
“Too good for me. You always were,” I said, smiling. “I wish I could hug you but I don’t want to piss you off.”
“I’m already pissed off,” she said, pulling me in and hugging me.
“Does this help or make it worse?” I asked, tucking my head into her shoulder.
“Both,” she said, holding me tight. “It doesn’t matter.”
“This is too hard. I am so scared to hurt you now and there are all of these things that used to be so easy between us. Maybe I was just kidding myself. Maybe I just didn’t see it, what was there with us and I’m sorry.”
“I really wish you’d stop apologizing for that,” she sighed as she held me and laughed awkwardly. “You weren’t aware, Avery. You can’t try to take responsibility for that. I was wrong, okay? I was wrong. It was never you.”
“I dunno. I’m pretty good at missing things consciously and only seeing them when they’re pointed out to me.” I held her close. It felt like I had my friend back when we were like this.
“Next time it really will just be you and me.” I released her and held her at arm’s length. “Okay?”
“I need to get used to you being taken I guess,” Sky laughed weakly.
“At least Olivia knows how to share.” I patted her arms. “Sort of. You know what I mean. She really does like you.”
I turned to see where she was.
“Right,” Skylar said skeptically.
Olivia and Nat were still talking inside. They seemed to be having a private conversation. At the very least they were no longer touching each other and it was all to do with words and looks.
“Do you want to go in? We can just play air hockey and hang out and then leave. Whatever you want.”
“I just need to know if you really thought I’d hit it off with her? No offense, Avery. That girl is just… She’s very different than you. She like exudes sex where you exude honesty. I dunno… I just think it’s kinda weird. Did you want us together?”
“I didn’t want you together. I just wanted to see if you might hit it off. It was an off chance. There’s a lot more to Natalie than you see at first glance. She’s probably more honest than I am in some ways. She’s never going to pull punches and she’s really sweet under all that bravado.”
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“Well,” Sky sighed. “I guess there’s still time… It’s just a bit awkward. I’m not going to like anyone who seems to be threatening you. I’m a bit like a lioness that way. It’s dumb,” she chuckled.
“I appreciate the thought and the sentiment,” I said, pulling her into me with an arm slung across her shoulder. “It’s not dumb. It’s nice. It blows me away that you care that much and I’m just thankful to have you in my life.”
Too many emotions. I felt drenched in them.
“I dunno. She’s definitely fucking hot,” Skylar said, waving her hand in Natalie’s direction. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Well, there’s a solution for that. You date her and then I have nothing to worry about,” I teased.
“If we date it will basically be a mess,” Skylar laughed. “I don’t date people.”
“Don’t say that.” I shook her a little. “Neither do I and look at me? If it’s the right person you can do anything. I promise. Now come on.”
“Not everyone’s on board with the fairytale,” she stared. I was her fairytale. That was the whole problem. I needed to watch what I said.
“You are right. There’s nothing saying you can’t have a super-hot fling either. Those can be very therapeutic.”
“I’m just worried about you being all preoccupied with getting me situated, Avery…”
“Hey, that’s not what’s going on here,” I said, walking us toward the door and pushing it open. I waited for her to step inside and I followed.
“No, it kind of is. You want me to just hook up with this girl because it will appease your mind.”
“I literally don’t. I was kidding about that. Seriously. Let’s just hang out for awhile and then we can go or do whatever.”
“Okay,” Sky laughed. “But you’ve kind of set a stage here. It’s not easy to ignore. Nat’s aware too.”
“Yeah, but nothing has to happen,” I said, leaning down and saying the words softly so Olivia and Nat couldn’t hear as we approached.
“Hey guys, you wanna hit the air hockey?” I asked.
“What?” Olivia asked, looking up. “Ah, sure,” she said, looking to Nat first and then to me.
“Come on,” I said, pulling Skylar toward the corner where the table was.
We got there first and I fished some coins out of my pocket. I stuck them in the machine and pressed the button so the puck would pop out.
“Who’s first?”
“Wait,” Nat said, taking a paddle and hovering near the spot where the puck falls out. “What’s at stake here? Why would I want to win?” She teased, getting extra close to me and flirting in that way she always did.
“Um, what do you mean? What do you want to win?” I was a little thrown off by her closeness.
“Well, I mean. You guys were already kind of bitchy to me, why the hell should I even want to play with you?” She was being serious but she was still smiling. Nat couldn't really hold a grudge. She liked action. Olivia was sort of distracted, watching the guy behind her who was racing an arcade motorcycle and moving all strange.
I leaned in, a little playful, with some attitude. “What could I offer to tempt you into trying to beat me?”
“I dunno,” she said, searching the area and looking from me to Skylar and then back to Olivia who had her back unexpectedly turned. “How about a kiss?” She smiled that cocky smile. “What do you want?” She asked, sizing me up. “I dunno,” she sighed. “A sweet pot is always a good pot.”
“A kiss from me?” I raised an eyebrow and stared her down. “You sure you wanna go there?”
I knew I’d win so there wasn’t much risk.
“Oh, I could go there,” she said, moving close to me and looking down hungrily. “But I was thinking more,” her head turned and her eyes wandered back to where Olivia was. Olivia was laughing with a stranger. He wanted her to get on the bike and try it. She felt awkward but he got her to try. Nat and I both watched her straddle the bike.
“You want to kiss my fiancé?”
“Well, I mean. We never got a kiss goodbye and you’re all sure you’re going to win. It would be a sweet reward,” she shook her head, lust trailing her. “If that’s too weird for you, it’s fine.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “You’re going to have to clear that with her first though and what do I get when I win?”
“We’ll see,” she said. Nat wasn’t one for making plans. “And what do you want?” Her eyebrow lifted.
“If I win you have to kiss me,” I said.
“What?! Like that’s a punishment?” Nat laughed. “I’d like to know what’s got my girl all committed,” she seemed thirsty now.
I held out my hand. “Deal?” I was serious. I knew it would turn Olivia on and it was way better than Natalie kissing her instead. It was kind of fucked up but I didn’t care at this point.
“You’re so on. Either way, I win,” she shook my hand and looked over at Olivia with a bit of excitement in her gaze.
I took my place at the other end of the table and put the puck down.
“Wait!” Skylar laughed, walking behind me and taking my paddle away. “I want in on this.”
“You can play winner. We’ve got a bet going,” I said.
“Oh right, I forgot. This night is all about you, right?” She wasn’t being mean, just teasing.
“Let her play first,” Nat said, eyebrows furrowed. “She’s cute.”
“Okay,” I said, stepping back from the table.
“That works for me,” I bowed out.
“A little warm up,” Nat teased, looking to Skylar with a bit of sex in her eyes. “And what do you want if you win?”
I stepped back and curled my fingers under Olivia’s elbow and kissed her shoulder but I kept my eyes and ears on Sky and Nat.
“Oh, whoa,” Olivia said, turning into me, enjoying the touch of me. “Hey you,” she smiled, full of zest.
I sighed and pulled her into me. It relaxed me instantly. “You’re so fucking amazing,” I said.
“Mmmm, say more good things,” she hummed, attuned to me instantly as she pulled her body into mine for a loving hug. “What’s going on over here,” she looked over to see Sky and Nat already at their game. “Looks intense.”
“They’re playing for something, I think.“ I didn’t really care right now. I just liked having her to myself. “I can’t wait to see you play.” I kissed her and pulled back.
“Do I get to play you?” She asked sweetly, ignoring everything else in the room. I felt her hands tucking under my shirt and touching my skin. “I’d really like to play you.”
“Yes,” I whispered. “You’re really good at it. Too good.”
“I really want to play you,” she whispered, nestling into me thoroughly.
“If you don’t then I might not make it through tomorrow,” I said. “I’m not kidding.”
“Kiss me, please,” she whispered dazed.
I twisted my hand around the back of her head and kissed her hard, not caring who saw.
“Fuck,” she said breathlessly. I was acutely aware of the sudden silence to our side. Both Nat and Skylar had apparently been watching.
“Okay, even I can admit that, that was hot,” Skylar said.
She laughed a little and gestured. “It’s your turn. Natalie beat me.”
“Wait, what does she get?” I asked.
“I’m afraid, that’s none of your business,” Skylar laughed.
“Fine. Keep your mystery.” I went to step away from Olivia but I stayed a second longer to kiss her again. “I got a little business to take care of, be right back.”
“Typical,” Olivia grumbled, tucking her bottom lip under her teeth and watching me leave.
““I love you,” I said as I walked away, turning back and wishing I could just take her home.
“Are you ready or what?!” Natalie teased, all cocky already. Olivia looked over at her and laughed a little as her gaze dropped.
I took the padd
le that Skylar offered and rolled my shoulders.
“Let’s go.” I squatted down a little so I was more even with the table and placed my hand with the paddle in front of me on the table.
Skylar fed the machine some coins and the puck popped up on Natalie’s end. She set it down and smacked it. Before I could even react it sailed past my paddle and into the slot.