A Mission Remembered

by Tanner Froreich

  I looked around. Their faces bore the intense look of anticipation, waiting, and hoping that I would remember. I wanted to remember, but I couldn’t. My thoughts were far too scrambled. There was absolutely nothing from which I could recall their lives.

  “I don’t know any of you. I can tell that you are my kin, but I have no memory.” Tears formed in the eyes of the older girls, as well as some of the boys. “But take comfort in this, I remember my Savior. I remember Christ, and even if I could remember each one of you, I would remember nothing without Christ.”

  The tears didn’t dry up, but there was comfort. John, or James, said sarcastically, “Is he saying he’s glad he doesn’t remember us?” Paul delivered a solid smack to the back of his head.

  I was home.

  Chapter 25

  Setting Your Eyes

  Simon asked, “Hey, where’s y’all’s Dad?” Then, as if to answer his own question, he said, “He’s at the hospital isn’t he?”

  I had forgotten about my mother’s condition in all the commotion. “Can we go now?” I asked.

  The oldest girl, Ruth, said, “Yes, I’ll take you. Simon, Abigail, can you guys keep an eye on everybody?” The two nodded as Phineas, who had made his way to the living room couch, shouted, “And I’ll keep an eye on Simon for you!”

  Simon walked into the room. “I’m sorry, who are you again?” but Phineas was fast asleep.

  As me and my sister headed out the door, Abigail added, “I’ll explain Mr. Wong to Si.”

  “Si?” I asked Ruth.

  She walked to a car. “Abigail’s nickname for Simon. It’s weird, I know.”

  I got in the car and she drove down the street to the main road. We drove for a little bit before she asked, “So you really don’t remember anything?”

  I shook my head.

  “You don’t even remember...” she paused as if she was hesitant to say a name, “Her?”

  “No, not even her, whoever she is. Who was she? Was she important?”

  Ruth thought for a bit, balancing what to say. “No, it was because of her you suffered a lot. It’s best if you just don’t know.”

  “Rachel, I’ve spent the last few weeks, maybe months, having people telling me that to justify lying.”

  She wiped a tear from her face; I must have hurt her. “My name...is Ruth, and I am not talking about her. We all were hurt.”

  We rode mostly in silence for the rest of the way. Before we got there, she asked, “There’s new scars on your arms. What happened to you while you were gone?”

  I shook my head at the unpleasant memories. “There’s a lot about what I went through that I wish I could forget.” Providentially, we pulled into a hospital and I could easily avoid talking about it by simply not saying anything else.

  Ruth sighed and said, “Well, when we get to the room, I’m going to go in first and explain to Dad your situation. Is that ok?”

  I nodded and we went into the hospital. Clearly, she had been here before, because she went straight to a certain location. When we came to the room, she went in before me. I waited outside the door thinking about what I was going to do when I saw my mom, or even my dad.

  I knew I wouldn’t recognize them, but they would me. What if I don’t respond the way I should? Could it hasten my mother’s deterioration?

  I almost turned away and ran off, but from behind me a man said, “Arphaxad!”

  I turned as the middle-aged man, who bore striking similarities to me, dropped his coffee and ran towards me. Mentally I knew this was likely my father, but I tensed up when he embraced me.

  He sensed the stiffness and pulled away confused. “Arf, don’t you recognize me?”

  Ruth burst out of the room. “Dad! I’m so sorry, I wanted to explain before...”

  I wormed my way out of his grip. “I’m sorry. It’s complicated, but I don’t remember you.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re my son, how could you forget me?” He didn’t understand the depth of the situation.

  I shortly explained to him the events of the past few months and how thanks to Mindsweeper, I had no memory of my life, family, or friends. He tried to listen but an unmistakable look of concern slowly covered his face.

  When I had finished explaining how Phineas and I escaped IODINE, he remained silent for a short time. “So, you remember God, because He preserved those memories, but you have no idea who you are or who your family is?”

  I nodded. “Except for what others have told me, I have no memory.”

  He leaned against the wall and then grabbed a chair. Cupping his face in his hands, he shook his head.

  “Lord, this is too much,” he mumbled.

  This man, who was probably the man who led me to the Lord, had received more testing than I had in the short amount of time I was away. His wife was dying, his son had disappeared, and now I returned bearing his son’s face.

  I looked at Ruth; she probably had never seen her father like this. The pain that riddled the faces of those around me was so intense that you could almost feel it.

  I placed my hand on my dad’s shoulder and pulled up a chair next to him. “I don’t know the pain you are experiencing; to have back someone you lost, only to find that they are not the same. I am still your son, and you are still my father. I fought to get back here, to my family and now, my father. I need you to help me re-learn the things that were taken from me.”

  “You’re right. You are still my son, and you are still within the hand of God to do His will. You're back,” he replied as he hugged me again.

  Dad was crying, Ruth was crying, but I was just smiling. I was happy to be back with the ones who knew me and seeing their emotions I knew that this was where I belonged.

  I let them cry for a little bit before I couldn’t wait any longer and I asked if I could see my mother. When I did ask, Ruth replied, “I’ll go in first and explain the situation.”

  We waited for a little bit, then dad went in after her. I didn’t like sitting in the hallway by myself, doctors and nurses walking by. I hadn’t noticed, but I was still wearing my super suit. I wondered what my life could have been like if I never had these powers. Could they have been the sole reason for my accident with Mindsweeper? If I wasn’t obligated to use these powers for the good of the gospel and humanity, would I have ever lost my mind? Also, if anyone of these men or women walking by noticed the armor under the clothing, it would likely cause a commotion that I didn’t want any part in.

  Thinking about the people, I feared that IODINE was watching me, and they probably were. They could be in the building right now and I would have no idea. What if the doctor taking care of my mother was really an agent sent to make sure she dies? I almost started to panic, but I knew that would be overly paranoid. After all the lies and things, they’ve done to me, I never wanted to see an IODINE agent again, but I knew that wish wouldn’t be granted.

  I considered the other prisoner, or creature, who I left at IODINE. I had left him to probably die at the hands of some sick scientist. What would they do with his DNA, if they could do anything at all? Question after question swirled around in my head. I didn’t even notice Ruth when she was trying to get me to come in the hospital room.

  She nudged me, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Arf, are you all right?”

  I stuttered, “Ye-yeah, sorry, I was thinking.”

  She shook her head slightly. “Nice to see that you still do that. Come in.”

  She gestured for me to get up and I walked into the room. My mother, though I didn’t recognize her as my mother, was lying on a bed with all sorts of pipes and tubes attached to her. She was pale, and she looked weak. This woman, who had borne me and my apparent eight siblings, was too weak to even lift her head.

  A feeble smile grew across her face. “Arphaxad!” she said quietly, tears forming in her eyes as I drew near.

  I started to talk, but she said, “Don’t worry about it, I understand. I’m just glad to see my baby boy again. Wher
e on earth did you go?”

  “Lots of places, but all of them don’t matter. I’m back home mom.” I sighed, I knew this was my mother, I knew that she was dying, but it felt as if a distant friend lay in her stead. I didn’t feel much pain seeing her in this helpless state, only pity, and that drove a knife through my heart. Even though I had vague dreams about this, they didn’t reinforce the emotions. It was painful that I couldn’t feel pain. I did shed a tear or two. “I’m sorry mom.”

  We were now all crying. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t here, I’m sorry for not remembering, and I’m sorry that I didn’t come back sooner.”

  She placed a delicate hand on my face. “It doesn’t matter honey. God brought you back, and because of that we praise Him. Ever since you were born, your father and I knew God would use you for great things, and I am thankful that He has allowed me to see you become a man and so much more.”

  “But you will get better, mother. You have to. I can’t remember you otherwise! You will live to see the rest of your children become men and women. We have to have faith.”

  She smiled again. “You will always remember me. If not in your mind...” she tapped on my armored chest, “then in your heart.”

  I stayed with her as long as I could, but she didn’t talk much about anything. Doctors came in periodically, but none of them said anything either. I couldn’t look at my mother with anything more than sympathy. There was no anguish or uncertainty like that which clouded the faces of my father and Ruth. I started worrying that I would never be able to remember, that my mother would die, and I would feel no more sorrow than someone who was separated from his birth parents as an infant. It felt like I had no history – no knowledge of my heritage. These people held no emotional tie other than the knowledge that they are tied to me by blood.

  Tears were shed, prayers were made, and hearts ached. The sun had set over the horizon, and I looked from the window to my mother in her bed. Dad was holding her hand, and nothing had changed. She was still so weak. I wondered and feared that if we left for the evening she would pass in the night.

  I wanted to run, not away, but just to clear my head. There was nothing more peaceful than the wind rushing past, without any worry. Yet even though I could run, part of me wished I could slow down and let the past catch back up with me.

  Ruth was the first to speak in hours. “Hey Dad, why don’t you take Arf home? I’ll stay with mom.”

  Dad nodded and kissed his wife. She grabbed his hand before he left and said, “Don’t worry about me. Make sure our son stays home longer than a few minutes.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, ok mom?” I said softly. Then after giving her a hug, my father and I left the room.

  Few words were spoken as we travelled through and out of the hospital. Even in the car, dad didn’t speak.

  “You are not going to ask about anything?” I questioned.

  Dad never took his eyes off the road. “It’s been a very long, tiresome and emotional day Arf. I will ask my twenty questions at the house, where I can think.”

  “Ok.” There was a pause as I considered the comment. “Only twenty?”

  Chapter 26

  Rest

  For some reason, I thought we would return to mild-mannered children and a tidy house. We came in to hear one of the boys shout from upstairs, “Girls! Come out! We need your help!” followed by the girls’ soft giggling.

  Phineas wandered into the hallway looking for someone. When he saw us he said, “Stephen, how are you doing?” He walked up and shook my dad’s hand – apparently the two knew each other. “Sorry about the mess. We were just about to clean up, but at the word ‘clean’ the three little ones disappeared upstairs.”

  His voice trailed off as we glanced into the living room where a fortress of pillows and blankets had been constructed.

  Dad shook his head. “Don’t worry, this isn’t the first time this has happened.” He looked around and didn’t see anyone. “Kids! Come here!” he called through the house.

  While the girls came barreling downstairs at their father’s voice, I said to him, “Should I help out?”

  Dad nodded. “Thank-you Arf, I wasn’t going to ask you, but it would be appreciated.”

  Phineas picked up some shoes and put them in a basket. “Talk to Paul. He would know best what needs to be done.”

  I walked toward the kitchen while dad began talking to the three girls. In the kitchen, Paul was sweeping and the older girl, Leah, I think, was doing dishes with earbuds in her ears. “Hey... um... Paul, is there anything I can do?”

  He looked up, a dissatisfied expression permeating his face. “Yeah, you can get a rag from Leah and wipe the table.” He sounded irritated, probably because of the little girls’ disappearance.

  I walked up to the sink and asked, “Is there a spare towel I could use?”

  At first she didn’t respond, but then she must have caught a glimpse of me in the corner of her eye, because she took out an earbud and said, “Sorry Arf, I didn’t notice you there. What do you need?”

  “Just a rag,” I responded. As she knelt down to pull the cloth from under the sink, I added, “What are you listening to?”

  Rinsing the towel, she said, “Just some music.” She paused for the slightest moment. “Do you remember music?”

  I had to think. Other than the song Phineas and the others were singing in the Korean cell, I was unaware of other music. “That’s one of the weird things about my memory, I know what music is as an abstract concept, but yet I don’t remember anything that could be considered music. Like I know what a door is, but until I encountered one, I didn’t have knowledge of its existence. It’s rather confusing.”

  She nodded slowly. “It’s like...fairies... right? You are aware of what they are, but you don’t have any experience with them.”

  I didn’t know what fairies were, but I assumed they must have been some made up creature. “Yeeeaah… but I don’t have to be told about them.”

  She frowned. “That is terribly awful Arf. Here,” she said as she pulled out the other bud and handed me them and the device from her skirt pocket. “why don’t you listen to something?”

  At first I hesitated. I didn’t want to take her music, but she wouldn’t let me have the rag if I didn’t take the device. I extended my arm to take it. Unfortunately, looking at my forearm reminded me of my ugly scars. I knew Leah could see them; how could she not. As the device passed into my hand, I could see her looking at them, but she put on a smile.

  I walked over to the table. The wooden surface was covered in crumbs and a few half-drunk water cups. I looked at the device in my hand. There were very few buttons on the circular device. I put the earbuds in and pressed the center button which I assumed was the play.

  A soothing rhythm faded into the center of the auditory stage. For a few moments only the sound of instruments filled my ears, but it was enough to capture my heart. When the lyrics came through I was already in love with music. With each song pouring out the goodness of God and His wondrous acts, my soul was renewed and encouraged. I heard the song Phineas and the others had sung in prison; A Mighty Fortress is Our God. The table was cleaned too soon, and I took a while. I looked back down at the device again and thought, I got to get myself one of these.

  As I was about to give Leah back her device, another song came on which caused me to pause. The words were, “When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say.

  It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

  I knew this song. Before I could remember, my head split open with pain. I was having another migraine. I don’t know what was happening in the real world, but I found myself in my mental prison again. There was a strange device at my feet – it was a phone. The same music of the song came from it. I picked it up and pressed the green button. “Hello?”

  A voice of a young woman came from the other side, and she was crying. “Is that you, Arf?”
Saying my name brought a momentary relief from her crying. The sound of her voice forced me to unwilling tears.

  Before I could respond, she said, “Don’t forget me! Please don’t forget me!” The plea transferred from the phone to the door which was still sealed shut.

  Dropping the phone, I shouted, “I won’t! I will never forget you!” I banged against the door until I was exhausted and collapsed upon its threshold.

  When I opened my eyes, I was looking up at the face of my father. I was awake again, and everyone in the house was standing around me. There was a look of relief on their faces.

  “Thank you Father,” my dad said quietly as he helped me to sit up.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  Dad took a breath. “You started screaming in pain. You were unresponsive. You scared us.”

  “I’m so sorry. It’s one of the side effects of what Mindsweeper did to me.” I felt terrible to put my family through that.

  Paul asked, “Do you know what triggered it?” I thought and then replied.

  “It was a song. It started, When peace like a river.”

  “It is Well with my Soul – your old ringtone,” Leah said shamefully. She must have felt responsible for what happened since she gave me the music.

  “It’s not your fault. It’s random. Sometimes I never know why it happens, so maybe it was just bad luck.” I wasn’t about to share the details of my torture, lest that make her feel worse.

  “There is no such thing as luck,” my father said thoughtfully. “Are you sure you are ok?”

  I shook my head. “Far from it. It will be awhile until I will be. But right now, I’m as ok as I’m going to get.”

  I was sent to rest on the couch while the little ones got ready for bed after their scare. Phineas stuck around for a little bit, but then said, “Well Arf, it’s been fun almost dying with you, but it’s really not good for my health.”

  “I understand. You got your own family waiting on you.”