Everlost (Mer Tales, Book 3)

by Brenda Pandos

  Tatiana leaned in closer to the servant, “Please save it for me, then.”

  “But, I—” the servant began.

  “No,” Jacob murmured under his breath.

  Tatiana turned to him with a persistent frown. “Then go eat in the kitchen.”

  Jacob clenched his jaw, unmoving from his spot.

  “Tatiana? What seems to be the trouble?” Queen Desiree asked. The table hushed.

  Tatiana whipped her head around and straightened her shoulders, standing. “I was wondering what would happen with this uneaten meal.”

  She smiled. “They discard it, of course.”

  “Even with the scarcity of food? I’d rather someone eat it.” Tatiana said. “Like… my guard, Jacob.”

  Jacob bristled. Had she no tact?

  The Queen’s smile vanished into a smirk. “Your guard is to eat with the servant staff.”

  “But Blanchard—”

  “Blanchard is first in command when Prince Azor is away. And since you’re new, I’ll excuse your insult to me and this table.”

  Jacob stared straight ahead as all eyes fell on him and then to Tatiana. He couldn’t have imagined anything worse for her to say at her first meal as princess.

  The Queen’s heated stare lingered on Tatiana for a beat longer, sinking in. Then she stood and threw her cloth napkin onto her half-eaten plate of food, and stormed out of the room in a huff.

  The room collectively gasped and Tatiana sank into her chair. Once the conversation picked up, she pushed her uneaten greens around her plate with her fork and all Jacob could hear was Garnet’s low cluck. It took all his concentration not to backhand the tiara off the snob’s head.

  11

  : : :

  Disappointment

  Audience resumed and Tatiana sat on her brocade throne with her hands in her lap, hoping to fade into the itchy fabric tickling her back. The Queen conducted business far more curtly than before lunch, and Tatiana couldn’t help but blame herself.

  So stupid.

  She hadn’t meant to upset her, but with the obvious waste of food, she couldn’t handle listening to Jacob’s stomach a moment longer. Was she trying to impress her guests? Show that even though they’d run out of peasant rations, royalty didn’t need to worry? How could they not see the obvious in front of their faces with the low numbers of fish outside and the servants scared stiff to pick up supplies?

  Then after the meal ended, Jacob dashed out of the dining room first, without even so much as a look. Tatiana knew she’d get an earful later, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t going to sit by and let perfectly good food go to waste. Tatiana glanced out to the hall once again, hoping to give him an apologetic glance, but didn’t spot him.

  However, as more mers confirmed the terror the explosion had caused, Tatiana wanted to disappear into the cushions of her throne. And without knowledge of who was in support of whom—her father or the King—the Queen had the public fountain in the square sealed off completely. Only the royal healers were allowed to dole the vials from her private bath. Though many mer matrons, like Sandy, acted as healers, without essence they were useless against the poisons. Xirene and Pearleza were the only official healers that Tatiana knew of, and because of that, a huge task loomed before them.

  After dinner, Tatiana retired early and crawled into bed mentally and physically exhausted, but not before Jacob let her have it.

  “My well-being is for me to worry about, Princess,” he’d said. His bitter tone stung her ears and crushed her spirit when all she’d wanted was to make sure he’d eaten something. Unable to reason with him, she’d abandoned him in the hall and slammed the door.

  The tears fell into her silken pillow. Her insides were numb, first with embarrassing Jacob and now with her longing to appease Azor. Was it so horrible to want to cocoon herself in his arms? She couldn’t deny any longer her real fears, that he’d find and arrest her parents. Why was that more important than their relationship? And what if he succeeded? Could she be with a man who’d so diligently brought her parents to his warped sense of justice?

  She pinched her eyes shut, her breath taken away. The fact Azor remained away for so long had to be good news. Or was it?

  She thought of her family, of Ash and Fin. She missed them so.

  “Please. Let them be safe,” she mumbled into her pillow.

  And though she couldn’t stop her worry, her heavy eyelids fell shut and sleep overcame her quickly. But not the peaceful rest she craved.

  Running from swarms of stinging bees rattled her dreams. Continually they stung, over and over, creating a deep throbbing pain in her lower back. She tried to open her eyes to escape them without any luck.

  And what seemed like minutes later, the sun-tunnels brought in the morning light. Tatiana rolled over to stretch and a stabbing pain radiated from her hip.

  Sea stars. What the—?

  A brown mark stained her skin. She leapt from her bed to the full-length mirror and quietly whooped. The coveted fleur-de-lis had finally made its appearance.

  She traced the strange mark while biting her lip. No one had said it would hurt coming in, but then again, the only royal who’d acquired a mark from a promising kiss and not from blood was Queen Desiree. Maybe she’d ask.

  Then Tatiana glared at her hand. Why hadn’t her ring tattoo appeared then?

  “Oh,” Nicole entered the room and eyed Tatiana’s hip, then smiled appreciatively. “Good morning, Princess. Sorry I didn’t wake you sooner. You were sleeping so soundly. Shall I fetch your breakfast?”

  Soundly?Holy Crawfish! Tatiana wanted to express the opposite, but the fleur-de-lis had lightened her mood.

  “Yes, Nicole. Thank you. And get a little extra, please.” Tatiana nudged her head toward the hall.

  Nicole winked in understanding and darted from the room. Satisfaction flooded Tatiana as she shrugged off her sleeping gown. A famished bodyguard wouldn’t do her any good and with Nicole’s regular deliveries, she’d get him to eat one way or another. She couldn’t help but crack a smile. Had that jellyfish Garnet even missed her at the breakfast table this morning?

  She laughed, then put on an outfit from her closet—the pink beaded one Girraween fancied—and tugged the waist of her skirt down to show off her fleur-de-lis. In the reflection of the mirror, something shimmered from her dressing table. Tatiana turned and froze. In a bed of silk sat a small jewel-encrusted crown.

  Did Nicole bring it with her earlier? Tatiana knew she wouldn’t have missed it yesterday. Gingerly, she approached the treasure as if it would sprout wings and fly away, and pulled the delicately entwined silver from its resting place. The gems, arranged in flowers next to metal leaves, shimmered in the light. Should she wear it today?

  Her hair, resembling a peacock that had flown through a tornado, needed serious help. She tugged out the feathers from yesterday and pulled the brush through her blonde hair. The loose tresses fell softly around her shoulders. With lithe fingers, she nestled the crown on her head.

  Its beauty took her breath away, along with the responsibility.

  “Queen Tatiana,” she said softly as her heart thumped harder.

  Anxious to show someone, she popped her head out of the doorway.

  “Jacob?”

  He startled to attention. “Princess. Good morning.”

  She waited a beat for him to notice, but his eyes quickly glazed over and slid shut.

  “I’m having Nicole fetch breakfast. Have you eaten yet?”

  “Oh, I…” His eyes flittered open and he combed the hall with a frown. “She did?”

  “She’s picking up extra, but if you insist on refusing to share, you can leave to eat in the kitchen,” she said while fluffing her hair, trying to draw attention to her crown. “I think I’m fine here. I don’t see any bad guys lurking in the hall—well, maybe a small one behind that vase over there. You can get him on the way out.”

  Jacob didn’t even smirk. He shook his head. “I’ll wait.”
>
  “Wait for what? Are you even awake?”

  He lifted his head and grunted, stretching his arms above his head and twisting his torso. His biceps flexed around his ears, making Tatiana’s head swim. She stared a moment too long, imagining herself snuggled in next to his rippling chest.

  “I am awake, and don’t worry about me.” Jacob slid into a runners stretch.

  Worry? She snapped from her trance and pushed aside her hair, trying to recall what they were talking about. Oh, right. Breakfast. “Fine, then I’ll force feed you half of mine in a few minutes.”

  She turned, but he took her arm, recapturing her gaze. He stood and his eyes suddenly burned into hers, sharp and quick. “Do not assume for one minute you’re safe here. I said not to worry about me.”

  She swallowed down her gasp, startled at his abruptness, and shirked off his hand. “Yes, but you need to eat at least. I can’t have my bodyguard famished when I need him, can I?”

  He exhaled heavily, closing his eyes. He paused, gaining his composure. “I am far from famished, Princess. I’m taking in sustenance just fine.”

  Yeah, with my help, she thought smugly, her eyes darting down his impressive chest.

  “Suit yourself.” She smirked. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little? Who’s brave enough to come up against the Dradux to kidnap me?”

  “Don’t assume the Dradux are on your side, Princess.” His eyes wrinkled at the corners.

  Tatiana frowned. Yeah, she hated the creepy Dradux, but they served the King. They’d die to protect him. She shook off the worry.

  “What did the Queen want with you last night?” he asked abruptly.

  “Oh, I don’t know. But when I woke up, I found this.” Tatiana stretched her neck and held her head high.

  He quickly glanced at her head and remained irritated. “Hmmm.”

  “What?” She touched her tiara. “Is something wrong?”

  “No.” He frowned and rubbed his chin. “We should go back to the compound today.”

  “You act as if I’ve been given free reign because the Queen has let me out of the dog house. And that so totally hasn’t happened,” she said adamantly. As if that were my decision whether or not I could leave to begin with.

  Jacob’s eyes squinted. “Dog house?”

  Tatiana quirked a smile and nudged Jacob in the side.

  “You’ve never heard of dogs?”

  “Well, of course I have, but what do their houses have to do with the Queen?”

  She laughed. If it weren’t for the fact dogs couldn’t survive the trip to Natatoria, puppies would be roaming the halls, looking for patches of grass to pee on right now.

  “Serpents, it’s just a human expression. It means… I hope to stay in her good graces, especially after she’s given me this.” She touched her crown.

  “Hmm.” He shook his head, annoyed again. “I’d like you to decline audience and make arrangements to return to the compound. This morning.”

  “Why?”

  “I have a bad feeling—”

  A squeal down the hall interrupted them. Girraween ran and embraced Tatiana, practically toppling her over. “Oh, Tatiana! You’re up. You missed breakfast. And ooooh! Look at your crown!”

  She jumped up and clapped, then took Tatiana’s hands and twirled her in a whole glee-filled circle, like children.

  “I overslept.”

  “Overslept?” Girraween laughed like what she’d said was absurd, then sobered up. “You’re feeling okay, right?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Well… you’ve done it. You’ve caused another stir. Everyone thinks you might be pregnant already. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  Jacob crossed his arms, flexing his biceps, and returned to his spot against the wall. Tatiana couldn’t stop her cheeks from flushing and she kept from looking directly at him. Of all people, Jacob knew she and Azor had never slept in the same room, let alone done it. Why was everyone so keen on her womb anyway? Maybe leaving was a good idea, she thought until she remembered Azor. He’d come to the palace, looking for Tatiana first, then report his findings to his mother. She didn’t want to miss him, or the news.

  Azor’s prolonged absence still punctuated her mind with worry. She couldn’t live in the middle of a family feud her entire life.

  “Possibly,” Tatiana mumbled in a lie, trying to return to the present. She hoped her admission of pregnancy would quell the gossip temporarily until she could get Azor alone to seduce him.

  Tatiana caught Jacob’s raised brow at her lie.

  “That’ll prove Pearleza wrong.” Girraween pulled on Tatiana’s hand. “Come on. We need to hurry.”

  Tatiana stole her hand back. “Nicole is bringing me breakfast first. I’m starving.”

  “Oh, right.” Girraween patted Tatiana’s tummy. “You’re eating for two now, or maybe three! Just hurry. Mother won’t be happy if you’re late.”

  Tatiana cringed, considering she’d just returned to her good graces, proof being in the crown.

  “Late to mermaid school?” Tatiana hoped.

  Girraween laughed again. “No, silly. School is cancelled for now. We must be present at the audience. It’s practice for your future.” She winked, eyeing the crown again and oohing.

  Tatiana sighed in disappointment, but feared angering her mother-in-mer further. She bit her lip and stared at Jacob. How could she ask to leave now? However, another day of ceaseless glares while the mers begged assistance of a male leader who was incapacitated made her head hurt. Maybe Azor would come home and save her from this nightmare today. Then they’d go home to the compound like Jacob wanted.

  Nicole arrived and brought the breakfast tray. Tatiana shoved a bit of jelly-slathered biscuit in her mouth and hummed before Girraween managed to drag her away. Jacob reluctantly followed, but not before Tatiana made him eat the other half of her biscuit.

  Through the vast window in the audience room, Tatiana counted the blue grenadiers as they swam by. Only the smallest of the schools were left—a terrible sign. If the fear to venture through the gates remained, the mer population would starve. Hunting in open sea was needed for bigger game fish that didn’t like swimming at Natatorian depths—like salmon, tuna, grouper and dolphin fish.

  “Tatiana.”

  Azor’s voice made Tatiana practically jump out of her skin and she scanned the hall for him. Beads of water rolled down his muscular chest and stomach, pooling at his feet in the doorway. At the sight of him, she forgot everything she’d been upset over—basking in his glorious presence.

  She rose to her feet, her breath held. He crossed the room to her. Collectively, everyone held their breath along with Tatiana until his lips met hers in a passionate kiss. Her legs quivered and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, finding the soft wet hair at the nape of his neck. He was here, touching her, and she was finally whole again.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispered in her ear.

  “Azor,” the Queen said sweetly. “Good to see you’re home.”

  She dismissed the anxious group of awaiting mers with a wave of her hand. “Blanchard, take these citizens out. We’ll resume after lunch.”

  At the groans, Azor yelled for “silence.” In the hall, Tatiana could hear soft pleas to speak with Prince Azor, but the guards ushered them away. Tatiana’s heart broke with each tortured face disappearing around the corner and out of sight.

  Queen Desiree stood from her throne and walked over to hug her son. After their embrace, Azor intertwined his hand with Tatiana’s. She beamed, hoping they wouldn’t have to stay long under the Queen’s watchful eye.

  From the hall, Jacob glared. Her stomach tightened. Of course Jacob would be angered at her happiness to see Azor. What did he expect her to do? Yell at him in front of everyone? Azor was her mate, after all, and she the understanding wife. She’d pick her battles and this wasn’t one of them. With a flick of her hair, she focused on Azor.

  “Son,” Queen Desiree said, her eyes dart
ing quickly to Tatiana. “I’m sure you have lots to share. Let’s go talk in my private chambers, shall we?”

  Tatiana squeezed his hand tight and followed, glued to his side. They walked into the hall and her heart pounded, wondering about the news. Was her family safe? Had he returned empty handed?

  Azor stopped and nuzzled her ear. “I’ll be right back.”

  “What?”

  He kissed her cheek and touched her nose. “Wait for me in your chambers. I’ll be there shortly.”

  He dropped her hand and her arms fell limp. How could he just leave like that again? Bar her from the conversation? She wanted to know where he’d been, what had happened. Did he find her parents? Would he pardon them? But her mouth, just like her legs, wouldn’t work, the humiliation was overwhelming. And just like that, he walked around the corner, out of sight.

  Stunned and shaking, she gathered her courage and smoothed her sweaty palms down her skirt. She wouldn’t allow the rumor mill anything new to chew on. A queen would never crumble; Tatiana would prove the same. She was strong, even in disappointment. Azor had a job to do and she’d allow him freedom to do it.

  With firm steps, she moved down the adjacent hall, away from prying eyes. She lifted her chin and turned to Jacob, barely holding onto a shred of sanity. “Would you escort me to my room?”

  With a heavy nod, Jacob replied, “Of course, Princess.”

  12

  : : :

  Fleur-de-lis

  Tatiana walked down the stark corridor with Jacob next to her, lost in her own world. With each step, the weight of everything bore down on her shoulders—the secrets she kept along with the lies. She longed for more than just a promise with Azor, longed to be his confidant, to be his best friend.

  She fought everything inside her not to run to the Queen’s private chambers and demand they include her. Why couldn’t she know what happened? If he’d captured her parents, she’d find out. Better to tell her himself, than let the rumor mill do it.

  She fisted her hands, furious at him, and turned down the last hall on the right. The door to her room cried out as a beacon, a safe haven where she could crumble into a fit of tears out of view of Jacob. As she twisted the knob, Jacob called out.